Death

[Crumb]

Does anyone else ever contemplate their own deaths. I'm not referring to suicide or anything, I mean think about what would happen if they died. When I can't sleep at night I sometimes think: What would happen if I died in my sleep tonight? Who would find me? What would they think? What would they do? How would X find out? What would they learn about me that they don't know? How would they react to it? The questions are endless and the little scenarios I imagine sometimes bizarre.

One thing I have often wondered is what would occur here at the :ff:. Would certain family members that know I post here post something telling you folks what happened? Or would I just disappear, be wondered about and remain a big mystery?

I might be a little crazy. :crazy:

Does anyone else think about this kind of stuff? :chin:

[Miisa]

I worry about it sometimes, largely because I have two small kids and my husband is away a lot. But the eldest is old enough to be able to call someone for help, so I really shouldn't worry, they would be taken care of.

But yes, it occurs to me. Sometimes I think about what people would find, so I try not to leave anything frightfully embarrassing around, though I'd be dead, so what would I care, right? Yet I do.

As for the 'net, well, we talked about this on EF, and came to the conclusion that there are people who know enough about me and would be able to look me up if they needed to, but I am not so sure anyone would think to do so.

[Leesifer]

Only all the time at the moment, Crumbles.

When I lock my front door at night before I go to bed, I sometimes wonder what would happen if I died in my sleep. How long would it be before somebody broke it to find me? I don't answer my phone very often anyway, so people wouldn't worry straight away if they couldn't get hold of me.

No you're not crazy. Well, not totally crazy anyway.

[Legs]

I think about death as well, and how it would change HorseGirl's life.

[curses]

You're not crazy, Crumb. I think about it as well. I often end up feeling a bit guilty thinking about the debt my family would incur as a result of my demise.

[JoeP]

Yup, me too

[wei yau]

I think about it quite a bit, so you wouldn't be any crazier than me.

Just the other day, I was in the car with my wife, while my daughter was at daycare. We had an appointment during the workday, but no one in our offices knew where we going. If we were to die during that trip, I don't know who would be notified? Who would know to pick up my daughter form daycare? Who would remember that our dog needed to be cared for?

I keep thinking I need to keep some set of Emergency Action Plan in place for various coworkers, friends and associates. Just to make sure everything is taken care of, should this sort of thing happen.

[Plant Woman]

I don't think about it too often, but events from this past year makes me think more. Especially now that I am cleaning up the mess of things that weren't taken care of before he died. It is making me tidy up loose ends and be clear what I want done with my belongings, my body and make it as easy as possible for the loved ones I leave behind.

[Dingfod]

I don't think about my own death at all, really. That's part of my psyche, not seeing myself in the future. So far as I imagine things down the road, I might as well be dead now.

[Shelli]

My only true worry about when I die is that my animals are taken care of. I know that my husband would try but I know that he would he not do the same nor as much for them as I do.

My 401K would take care of much debt upon my death so that's not an issue. I don't have kids, so that's also not an issue. It is a sad thought to think of the people that care about me suffering upon my death, but at the same time I know that they'd get through it because what choice is there afterall?

[Ymir's blood]

Frequently.

[The Jesus Lawyer]

yeppers...everybody living thinks about death.

how else to know you're alive?


michael :)

[Widget]

Well I'm sort of busy this week, next week might be better if it is going to happen,actually thats not quite true I did promise someone a game next week. Sorry Legsy but if your numbers up your numbers up. You will do OK.

[Legs]

Whenever I look at your race car I see a big coffin on wheels :sadcheer: even though you assure me it's perfectly safe.

[Shelli]

I know I've upped my chances of dying a premature death by riding a motorcycle, but I refuse to live my life based on "what ifs" because is that really living?

[Widget]

I think you have my car confused with a Volvo.


Whenever I look at your race car I see a big coffin on wheels :sadcheer: even though you assure me it's perfectly safe.

[Legs]

:laugh:

just be careful :glare:

[pescifish]

Long term: I don't have a will, but any will I would write would be the same as what the state would impose (split between my siblings), so I'm not worried about that.

My sister assumes she will simply move in my house and continue to care for my pets. And I haven't really dispelled that assumption on her part, since it's probably the simplest for the first few months or years after. There's enough money in bank accounts designating my sister and brother as beneficiaries to be able to cover funeral expenses (that's not :money: that needs to go through probate; they should get it soon after I'm dead.) My sister and brother know I want to be cremated.

If I die while still employed, there's a company paid life insurance policy (with them as beneficiaries) that would cover all debt, including car and house. And on top of that, there's what I consider a boatload of cash in a 401K with them as beneficiaries. The house and cars are probably the only things that would need to go through probate.

When my niece gets older and establishes herself, I'll probably make a will such that it's a 3 way split. At that time, I'll probably see if I can find a good parrot sanctuary for Flutter and make sure there is :spend: to cover expenses for her long and happy life.

In the short term, I think about if I died in my sleep or around the house and how long it would take for someone to find me (probably at least 1.5 days before someone would think to look, I'd guess.) It makes me consider putting a water dish in Flutter's sleeping cage, even though she has a tendency to poop in it overnight. Other than that, I think things would be ok.

My sister knows to contact my friends, including Ymir's blood, so I guess he could tell you guys or he could tell my sister to tell you guys.

[Legs]

this thread is making me :sadcheer:

[pescifish]

I think more often about if I were involved in a crime (especially involving the Navy) or simply disappeared. Those trace techs at CSI would have a field day figuring out what manner of weird sticky stuff and hair and feathers they might find about the place. And the FBI missing persons bureau and the electronic snoopers would be hunting down some poor handyman I never hired and calling the wing shop I ordered take-out from since they'd find all those scraps of paper with random phone numbers on them. They might be amused by all the skulls around the house, though.

[quiet bear]

I don't really sweat it. Other than my family, I only hold one person close. I have plenty of 401k and life insurance. That was the one thing that bothered me, leaving others with a burden, so I have taken care of that.

As far as my material things, there are certain things I've made sure people know will be theirs when I'm gone. Most of it, though, will be given to charities. My property and house will stay in the family.

As far as thinking about death, and the trail it will leave, I don't do much of that. People will grieve, then they'll move on. It's been my experience that, through time, eventually, every time you think of someone who's passed on, you laugh, because the good memories are the ones that stick.

[ms_ann_thrope]

I sometimes wonder if my pets would get hungry and start snacking on me before my corpse was found. I'd like to think that the dog wouldn't, perhaps out of some sort of bond or loyalty, but I'm not convinced about the cat...

[Shelli]

:lolwat:

[curses]

I sometimes wonder if my pets would get hungry and start snacking on me before my corpse was found. I'd like to think that the dog wouldn't, perhaps out of some sort of bond or loyalty, but I'm not convinced about the cat...:roflcopt: Cats hold no loyalty. You're instant Whiskas in the event of a tragedy.

Or not. Maybe your cat is picky and doesn't like the taste of people.

[Veritas]

As a bipolar, it comes with the territory. But I tend not to talk about it in case people think I'm contemplating suicide. It IS possible to think about death without actually wanting to do it, y'know. It's a subject of endless curiosities.

[fragment]

Think about it from time to time. When travelling I wondered how long it would take people to miss me then track down my remains if I just disappeared in Albania or somewhere.

I have a slight concern that someone would read through the file in my mother's basement containing crappy songs I wrote when I was seventeen. Should really burn those or something, or just learn not to give a shit. But they really are crappy.

I should really write a will or something. I have no kids, my family's pretty comfortable, so I'd probably leave my savings to Mrs Suggs' Home For Deranged Cats or something. I should also leave instructions as per people to contact, like FF and various other people scattered across the globe.

But I've got a list of more pressing shoulds, so it might be a while before I do. I'm one of those unrealistic types who doesn't quite believe that it's possible for me to die sooner rather than later.

[Sweetie]

Does anyone else ever contemplate their own deaths. I'm not referring to suicide or anything, I mean think about what would happen if they died.

I used to think about death everyday. I'd get in the car to go to work and wonder if this wasn't the day I was going to die, and on the way home, same thing.

Worried about the kids getting hurt constantly. You could say I was a leetle overprotective. :innocent:

If I died, there would be a lot of devastation, I can't imagine my three babes without their Mommy. My son would be beyond consolation.

Went to my friend's funeral once, long ago, he was eighteen when he died, I was seventeen. Walking away from it, my Mom says, "don't ever do that to me."

But then, I stopped worrying about it, instead of just knowing it's going to happen one day.

For me, it was a religious reason why I stopped worrying about or fearing it, but.....just stopped.

When I can't sleep at night I sometimes think: What would happen if I died in my sleep tonight? Who would find me? What would they think? What would they do? How would X find out? What would they learn about me that they don't know? How would they react to it? The questions are endless and the little scenarios I imagine sometimes bizarre.

One thing I have often wondered is what would occur here at the :ff:. Would certain family members that know I post here post something telling you folks what happened? Or would I just disappear, be wondered about and remain a big mystery?

*sniff*

Jman was really upset about Skep's death, I didn't understand why though, because he wasn't really familiar with Skep. After thinking on it since, I think it was because Skep just disappeared, and his sister came later to let us all know. I don't think he wanted that to happen, to just go, just disappear, just not show up one day.

Anyhoo, an internet friend of mine had thought about maybe starting up some sort of "letters from the grave" internet program, just not sure how he said it would work, for things like informing online friends of one's own death.

I might be a little crazy. :crazy:

Does anyone else think about this kind of stuff? :chin:

Recognizing our own mortality is healthy, dwelling on it or fearing it too much is not. So provided you're still mostly in the first category, it's normal and healthy, I would think.

It's not healthy to not recognize one's mortality, I think.

Some thoughts. :huggle:

[Crumb]

Thanks for all the replies.

It is not worry or fear of dying. It is more wondering what will happen and what people will think of me, what hey will miss about me.

I too am bothered by the disappearing from the :ff: part of it. I definitely should arrange something so that you folks are notified. Wouldn't want you to think I just left you poor sods.

[Sweetie]

I want to be buried when I die, and I told others I want my funeral to be held at a certain Church.

You?

My husband is not a religious man, but he wants them to play "Amazing Grace" on bagpipes when he dies.

[Crumb]

I want to be buried when I die. You?
Cremation, don't waste the space. Sprinkle me somewhere on Mt Hood. Whatever, Ill be too dead to care.

[Sweetie]

Thanks for all the replies.

It is not worry or fear of dying. It is more wondering what will happen and what people will think of me, what hey will miss about me.

*sniff*

I'm getting all teary eyed!

I too am bothered by the disappearing from the :ff: part of it. I definitely should arrange something so that you folks are notified. Wouldn't want you to think I just left you poor sods.

Ha, but that's assuming we'd actually miss ya. What makes you think we would, hmmmmm? :scratch:

Hehe, I'd miss ya. :P Would ya miss moi? :shy2:

[Sweetie]

Cremation, don't waste the space. Sprinkle me somewhere on Mt Hood. Whatever, Ill be too dead to care.

Graves are nice for loved ones to visit though, sometimes. :yup:

[Miisa]

Same here, I don't really care, but I don't want to be a bother/burden or have an expensive burial lot, so cremation makes the most sense.

Also, I find the idea of a body rotting away forever under the ground a little creepy.

Though the ultimate choice would, of course, be to be fossilized (naturally), but that is a rather long shot.

[Sweetie]

Yeah, I don't know what to say. They buried my husband's Grandma's ashes in a plot. We went to visit it once, my husband says, she's just not there, no point in going to visit. No matter which way you look at it, of course she isn't there, but does it make some feel better to know that the basic form of the person is still there?

:dunno:

[Miisa]

... does it make some feel better to know that the basic form of the person is still there?
Some, surely, but not me, I just find it crepy to think of them there. I'm all, like, "Don't step on grandma!"

[Leesifer]

I'm with you on that one Miisa. I don't like the thought of bodies decomposing under the ground and going to visit them.

[Sweetie]

I'm all, like, "Don't step on grandma!"

:D

I remember being little and going for the first time to visit the family plot when my Grandpa died, and everybody was so serious, the rules are, you do not step on the plots, you step around them.

I thought it was a little odd, now I'm all like, paranoid of stepping on a plot man, lol.

[BDS]

If people don't like the bodies underground, prehaps they should avoid the Parsi cemetary in Mumbai.

http://www.examiner.com/a-269894~India_Funeral_Ground_Photos_Stir_Anger.html

[viscousmemories]

but I am not so sure anyone would think to do so.
I would. :glare:

Reading this thread and from past experiences it occurs to me that we really should have some kind of member registry. Hmm... as I type I realize it could be as simple as a profile field that only we admins can see, where you can put in an emergency contact number so if you stop posting for a few months we can try to track you down.

Would any of y'all use such a thing?

[Shelli]

Would any of y'all use such a thing?
:yup:

[MonCapitan2002]

I don't particularly spend much time contemplating my death. While I know it will happen some day, I really don't see the point in spending too much time dwelling on it in depth. Since almost of the people I know personally do not know what websites I visit, none of you would know about my death.

A part of me suspects that if I were to die, my absence would not be noticed depending on my level of activity at the time of expiration. If anyone here has taken notice of my long term behavior, they would realise that I tend to disappear for weeks at a time when I am pretty much silent or never around. As a matter of fact, I am in a silent phase over at IIDB. If I were to croak tonight, my absence would likely not be noticed at IIDB. Since I have been every active here of late, I would probably be noticed if I stopped posting abruptly.

I have no idea what reactions my death would engender. It is quite likely none of you would know that I died since I don't tell the people close to me where I spend my time online (no do I have any intentions to do so). If someone did know I ceased to be and told you all; I have no idea how the news of my death would affect any of you nor do I care to speculate.

[MonCapitan2002]

but I am not so sure anyone would think to do so.
I would. :glare:

Reading this thread and from past experiences it occurs to me that we really should have some kind of member registry. Hmm... as I type I realize it could be as simple as a profile field that only we admins can see, where you can put in an emergency contact number so if you stop posting for a few months we can try to track you down.

Would any of y'all use such a thing?
I would not. Someone suggested this informally on LJ and I pretty much wrote a big fuck you to the suggestion in my profile. I do not like giving out personal information. I have done everything in my power to ensure none of my personal details are attached to anything I do online.

[ChuckF]

Yeah, I occasionally think about what would happen if I died. I don't really think about how people would react. Rather, I think about - god, I sound like my father saying this - the massive amount of paperwork that would be involved. There are classes to cancel; fellowships to cancel; the utilities in my house have to be transferred to my housemate without my signature. My name has to come off of the lease! My credit cards have to be stopped, or at least someone has to find out how to stop certain websites from rebilling on a monthly basis. Someone has to cancel my subscription to The Economist, or change the address so they can get it free for a little while. Then there are my insurance policies to be terminated. Tracking down my sparse assets scattered across the country and collecting them. Also I have a $24.99 credit on a hotel booking website that I would hate to see go to waste. No one knows my password for my Starbucks card online account management! At least my cell phone bill could be taken care of easily, since I'm on a family plan. Oh wait, no! My line would have to get dropped before the end of the contract, thus incurring early termination penalties! God damn it, I'm not going to get to sleep tonight.

[One for Sorrow]

Hah. I know you're not being serious, Chuckles, but it's true that the paperwork can be a bitch. I called at least five times trying to get Allan's cell phone either turned off, switched to my name, or at least get the bill sent to me rather than to Kew Gardens, NY.(His parents had his mail redirected there.) No such luck. I kept telling the arseholes that Allan was dead.
They'd still say, "We need to speak to Richard Glenn." Oh yeah? Got a ouija board handy? I never got a copy of his death certificate from his parents, and I'm not quite willing to grab up a shovel to prove it to Cingular. To hell with them. It was in his name, and I wish them the best in finding Richard Glenn and getting him to pay.

I keep thinking about how sad it would have been if Allan had died before he revealed to anyone that he was so ill... I'm not sure when he told a few of his close online friends, but it's entirely possible that none of us would have ever known what happened. I know his parents never would have gone online to let people know. A prolific poster would have suddenly stopped posting, and a friend would no longer be signing in to AIM. With the exception of Fundies Say the Darndest Things no longer being updated, it may have gone all but unnoticed to most.

Certainly he wouldn't have been remembered the way that he is now. It was really only after he told people he was so ill with cystic fibrosis that he opened up and let us into his life. We loved him for it, and miss him all the more because we knew him so well. (I use "we" here because, although I certainly was with him in "real" life, Allan and I met online and I knew and loved him before I spent any time in the same room as him. I know I'm not alone in this.)

I post so infrequently now that I doubt anyone would really notice. That used to bother me, but the Internet is not a large part of my life anymore. I'd still rather have online friends have a way to find out about it. My mom might find a way to let people know. She at least used to post at Save-Allan.org and knew how much time I spent online chatting with people a couple years ago.

To answer your question, Crumb... I think a lot about my death, and how I'd be found. I think I'd rather die alone. I don't want to leave anyone with that memory. But, I think it'd be better to die with a loved one watching than to be found later.

And I'm rather relieved that I don't have any cats anymore. :giggle:

[mindbender]

The way I see it is death is the only real enemy. Someday, however, I hope to welcome it peaceably.

[Sweetie]

I got into a car accident in '97, lost control of the car on early morning icy roads, split second decision, forgive me, I was young, let go of the steering wheel (ie: rolled the car, etc), and then I remember waking up I think it was five to ten minutes later according to my Mom.

But that's all it could have been, a feeling of motion, a split second decision and then blankness. I didn't feel a thing.

But, that's how quick it can be gone. *snaps fingers*

I can imagine someone coming to the scene if I was dead, their last memory of me being that, them looking and seeing something so sad or tragic, yet.......I didn't feel a thing. It's living that's painful, and the living who have to clean up the mess.

It changed me, and I'm a much different person than I would have been without that experience, but it's not about fear. It just woke me up. Ha, getting knocked unconscious woke me up.

[Ymir's blood]

The worst way to die that I can think of is...

being eviscerated by animals who then proceed to eat my entrails. The damage itself wouldn't be fatal but then there is the shock and bloodloss. Looking down at my mangled torso while slowing bleeding to death, knowing that there was nothing I could do, that would be a terrible way to go.

[viscousmemories]

Have you seen Sin City, Yb?

[Ymir's blood]

No, nor read the comic. Is it worth checking out?

[viscousmemories]

Absolutely. For the exact scene you described, at the least. :)

I've seen the movie several times and read the comics in between. Great stuff.

[pescifish]

Excellent movie!

[Puck]

At that time, I'll probably see if I can find a good parrot sanctuary for Flutter

pescifish? Wanna make a pact? If I go first, you take Poco, and if you go first, I'll take Flutter? The idea of Poco not having me really bothers me. She's sitting here on my shoulder, knowing our routine, and how to relate with me, and I'm quite sure no one else in the world would love her, spoil her, and play with her like I do. I'm worry that someone will take her because she's a novelty, and then tire of her and leave her to go mad locked up in a cage 24/7.

[pescifish]

Yeah, it's a scary thought. I know my sister and my niece love her and want to take her, but... They haven't managed to keep any pet in their household for longer than a year or so without it dying ("The snake got lost, the hamster got out, etc.") or being given away, taken to the animal shelter, whatever. It's a bit disconcerting. They've recently gotten a couple of kittens, so I'm watching how this goes. Are they prepared to be kitty caretakers for the next 20 years? If not, then Flutter's really not for them!

A pact sounds like a good idea, though wouldn't I have to fight off Thalia for the honor? Poco sounds like such a delight, I would be happy to make a life with her. Flutter's pretty durable/adaptable, though she did seem to take an emotional hit when her dog was sick and died earlier this year. My death, meh, who knows? :laugh:

Actually, what I need to do is make a quick search for local bird sanctuaries or even bird clubs. I'm sure there are quite a few here in Southern California that I could investigate and make arrangements with. And then I'll have to have The Conversation with my sister explaining my concerns and decision.

[seebs]

I find the concept very freaky, especially because I have a number of people who are in practice dependent on me; I'm the only person in my extended household who can earn money, really.

But mostly I just can't imagine not being there; how could I? There's no perspective from which to see it.