musical artists you think are hot

[beyelzu]

meg from the white stripes is so fucking hot.

random thought for the day

[LadyShea]

Gavin Rossdale of Bush. Caught him on Reverb one night, and he was simulating sex with his guitar...holy fuck did I have a non-human reaction, I very well may have growled or something.

[Petra]

Once upon a time it was David Lee Roth.

Now, I'm ogling just about any young buff male MTV video star. I'm not even listening to their music! Heh. Must be a sexually-frustrated-old-bat thing. :giggle:


But, given the subject matter, I shall try to offer something of interest:

Inherently Fuckable (http://www.zeek.net/music_0202.htm)
by Bex Schwartz

"We are not groupies. Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. WE are Band-Aids. We're here for the music." - Penny Lane, Almost Famous

That's it. Point blank. That's the Band-Aid phenomenon summed up with precision, perfection and power. I am a Band-Aid. I love rock stars more than anyone on earth. Sure, anyone who creates --painting, sculpture, poetry, theatre, film, fiction, origami, toast - is sexy, but rock stars are infinitely more fuckable than any other demographic. "But poor, misguided little Bex," you are thinking to yourself. "Rock stars are notorious tramps. Why throw your love away?" And that, my friend, is the point: rock stars sleep around because they can. They fuck often because they are sexy; and because they are sexy, they fuck often.

To begin: there are certain words in our fine language that bear a remarkable similarity: Satan and Santa, for example, or God and Dog. I leave you, Dear Reader, with the task of decoding the true meanings behind these anagrams, and I offer you a challenge one step further: Rock and Fuck. Take a good look, my friend, and watch as the letters start to blur. Chop off the rounded rim of the "R" and lop off the top curve of the "o." What's left? Fuck. Chop the rim, lop the curve, do me baby - do me all night long. There's no coincidence here, friends, this is a message from the ancient astronauts who invented rock 'n' roll and they're giving you the go ahead to do it.

But there's one important difference: it's socially acceptable to rock out in public, but they'll arrest you for fucking. So what do you when you're horny, jazzed and ready to rumble? Exactly: you rock out. Wiggle your rump and shake what your mama gave you, throw the sign of the beast to the stage and hoot and holler til you're hoarse - rock out and you won't need to jerk off for at least three hours.

We've established that the Rock is an acceptable alternative for the Fuck but we haven't yet begun to unpack the infamous Rock Star Sexy factor. Before I deconstruct, I offer you a few examples: Would I fuck a random British guy in his mid-fifties with a penchant for vintage suits and a few effeminate tendencies? Probably not. Would I fuck Bryan Ferry? You bet your sweet bippy. One step further: would I fuck a grizzled, incomprehensible sixty-something Midwesterner who went born-again Christian and has a rep for mistreating women? No way. Would I fuck Bob Dylan? Aaaaw yeah.

Before you turn away and shudder in disgust, think about that option just one more time. Would you fuck Bob Dylan? Would you? Yeah. You so totally would. Because he wrote "Subterranean Homesick Blues" and "Like a Rolling Stone" and "Hurricane" and, goodness, all of Blonde on Blonde and Blood on the Tracks and "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right." See? You would. In a second. In a milli-micro-second. Anyone who writes, "He who's not busy being born is busy dying," deserves a second glance, and anyone who's BOB fucking DYLAN deserves a suspension of aesthetic preferences. Close your eyes. Think about the first time you heard a song that made you feel sexy. Maybe it was Portishead's "Glorybox" or Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On," or even the Divinyls' "I Touch Myself." Whatever it was, something in that song got your juices flowing. Or maybe it was only a teensy bit of a song - that piano bit in the Doors' "Crystal Ship" or the last 45 seconds of "God Only Knows" - whatever it was, something bit you where it counts. And that's what music does - it bites you. Hard. And sexy songs bite you even harder and instill in you a strong desire to have sex with whichever magical being or beings were responsible for creating that effect in you. It's about the music, first and foremost, and the creator(s) of that music must have sex with you so they can understand how important they are to you. It's just that simple.

And now you're thinking, "But, Bex I want to fuck Fred Durst and his music doesn't make me feel sexy." Of course not. But because your favorite song grabs you in that certain way, whatever that "grab," or dare I say, "snatch" moment is, you've been bitten. As soon as you love a song, your passion for that song gets applied to the musician. If "Walking on Sunshine" makes you start dancing down the street, then your love for that song is equally as strong as your love for Katrina and the Waves, whether you want to admit it or not. I don't think I would fuck Katrina or any of the Waves, but I'd certainly enjoy making out with one of them just to say thanks. That's how profound the music-sex connection is.

Cameron Crowe, the writer-director of Almost Famous, clearly understands this sensation. He made a movie about it and I love that movie so much because it reminds me so much of me. Not only does he understand that rock=fuck, he fucking lives it. Dude's married to Nancy Wilson, one of the hard-rocking ladies of Heart. Ooooooh, Barracuda, indeed.

If you're inspired by music, if you imagine a soundtrack to every moment of your life (right now is where the Posies' "Grant Hart" starts to play ), if the rock drives your life forward, then of course you want to be as close to it as possible. You want it inside you, you want to be inside it, you want its calloused fingers all over your body. P.T. Anderson made Magnolia because of Aimee Mann's music, Douglas Coupland titled his books after Smiths songs, Bill Clinton chooses Fleetwood Mac for his campaign slogan - the rock is ubiquitous and omnipotent. The rock influences all it touches and the rock is all-pervasive. You can't escape. In your heart of hearts, you'll know that the man is drunk, rude, lewd and ugly but right now he's singing, and he's singing to you and therefore he must be kissed.

Why? Because, clearly, he'll fall madly in love with you and will create yet another sonic masterpiece, and this particular opus will be all because of you. SBecause somewhere out there, there's an Eleanor Rigby, and a Virginia Plain, and an Acid Queen and a Barbara Ann. And someday, if you're lucky, millions of people will be singing something along the lines of, "Now I run to you with open arms," and you'll smile smugly, knowing someone along the lines of Steve Perry wrote those words about you. And you'll just 'gasm every time you hear it. Fucking brilliant. (And brilliant fucking, if you're lucky enough to get some rock star booty.)

Many people confuse the rock star fetish with an obsession over the lead singer. True, the lead singer is usually really sexy, and he always has charisma, but the true music fan often obsesses over everyone. Especially the bassist. Why? A number of reasons. For one, look at the way you play the bass. It's that one-two, one-two finger slapping action that's oh-so-reminiscent of something dirty. And you know those vibrations are stimulating. And, dig this: when you go out dancing, who do you want to fuck? The people who are twiddling about, all dee-doo-doo with the fucking melody, or the people who are bumping and grinding to the bass line? Give me the rhythm section anytime, unless you've also got a rhythm guitarist. Or a singer who plays tambourine. Or a lead guitarist who clutches the neck of the guitar like she clutches a um, mic stand. Fuck it. They're all hot. Just put them on stage under some lights and let me at 'em.

Now I don't mean to imply that I only fuck rock stars or that I've extensively fucked rock stars. Neither assumption is true. I only intend to reveal the truth of the matter and perhaps to offer solace to others who feel the same way. The desire to fuck rock stars goes beyond collecting Tigerbeat posters and writing "Led Zep" in the Zoso font on your bio notebook. The longing may last forever and ever, compelling you to hang out by the bar at the Mercury Lounge or to linger in the bars at certain posh hotels. When you realize that rock = fuck, you're often (literally and figuratively) screwed. But that's okay. There are rock stars everywhere you look. Watch your boss bobbing his head to Foghat. Watch the chick on the stairmaster as she step-steps in time to Moby. Watch yourself rocking out in front of the mirror when "Born to Run" comes on the radio. We are all rock stars, Gentle Reader, and we are all fuckable. Find your inner rock star and hit the town. Watch the chicks melt or the dudes start to swoon... and, you know that song, "Come over and Fuck Me?" Yeah, I wrote it about you.

and...

Which Rock Star Are You? (http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=2064)

Apparently, I'm Steve Tyler.

http://www.zenhex.com/quiz/2064/res4.gif


or...

Which Rock Star Are You? (http://rockmaven.bravehost.com/)

Where I turned out to be the very unsexy Elton John. :(

http://rockmaven.bravehost.com/rockmaven.com_elton.jpg


Funny thing is, neither test asked me if I was a chick rocker? Rotten, chauvinistic fuckers. :whup:

[LadyXoc]

Gavin Rossdale of Bush. Caught him on Reverb one night, and he was simulating sex with his guitar...holy fuck did I have a non-human reaction, I very well may have growled or something.


Damn, yes, that is one pretty bit of man-flesh.

[Petra]

Gavin Rossdale of Bush. Caught him on Reverb one night, and he was simulating sex with his guitar...holy fuck did I have a non-human reaction, I very well may have growled or something.


Damn, yes, that is one pretty bit of man-flesh.

Never heard of him, but I can see I'm gonna have to check this one out. :lecher:

[Petra]

Ok, I looked at a picture or two, and he's kinda cute, but I'm into fuller lips.

Love those dark eyes, though. :yup:


Anyone know of any rockstars that look like Ronin? :wink:

[LadyXoc]

I don't know what Ronin looks like. I keep imagining Toshiro Mifune. LOL

Who is that Rob guy from Matchbox 20? He looks bounceable. Sorry, luna, he has tiny lips, too. ;)

[livius drusus]

Trent Reznor. Very hot nose. 1968 Comeback Special Elvis. Very hot everything.

[Dingfod]

Shania Twain. Sorry, but I cannot remove my eyes from the television screen when she is on. Her voice alone give me chills and makes me weak in the knees. Oh, god, I want her.

[Godless Dave]

Dido

Natalie Maines. I think she is hotter than the other two Dixie Chicks.

All four of the Donnas

All four members of L7

Suzanne Vega, but it's her voice more than her looks that is hot to me

Shelby Lynne

Neko Case

Janis Joplin, before she started dressing like a chicken

I think Tori Amos is very pretty, but she doesn't turn me on. Ditto for Sarah McLachlan.

[beyelzu]

Dido

Natalie Maines. I think she is hotter than the other two Dixie Chicks.

All four of the Donnas

All four members of L7

Suzanne Vega, but it's her voice more than her looks that is hot to me

Shelby Lynne

Neko Case

Janis Joplin, before she started dressing like a chicken

I think Tori Amos is very pretty, but she doesn't turn me on. Ditto for Sarah McLachlan.


I think tori is very hot, but I dont think she is that pretty.

her voice style and art just put her over the fucking top

[THX1138]

Annie Lennox...

J

[Ex-zombie]

Toni Braxton.

That voice. Those eyes..........What was I talking about?

[beyelzu]

from luna's quiz
I am slash

which is pretty cool

[pescifish]

Shania Twain. I wasn't going to post, but that was the only artist that came to my mind when I started reading the thread. All the more fun to have someone else post it first!

I don't know who the fuck any of men mentioned in this thread are! :blush: The few male musicians that I can think of all look like death warmed over and exactly the sort of guy who would probably make me feel like shit, so I can't think of any guys.

But Shania Twain is the whole package when it comes to hot women, IMO.

[HarryLime]

PJ Harvey

Siouxsie Sioux

Those are the main two. I have to respect a singer's work to really find them sexy, which is truly, truly odd, I know.

Will

[SharonDee]

Steve Tyler. He's one ugly mo-fo but he has some kind of charisma going. He makes me wet whenever I watch him at work. And that digital camera commercial he's in...? :pant:

[Adora]

Beyonce Knowles... *eyes glaze over*

*Ahem*

Billy Idol.

Ryan Adams.

Daft Punk :D heheheheh.

Beck.

David Bowie.

Brian Molko

Felix Riebl.

Missy Higgins.

All the members of L'Arc~en~Ciel.

And of course, Eddie Vedder.

[Petra]

Shania Twain. Sorry, but I cannot remove my eyes from the television screen when she is on. Her voice alone give me chills and makes me weak in the knees. Oh, god, I want her.

Better come to NZ, then, warrenly - Shania Twain just bought the South Island.

Now, apparently Cher is all jealous and wants to buy the North Island.

:rolleye1:

[LadyShea]

Ok, I looked at a picture or two <of Gavin Rossdale>, and he's kinda cute, but I'm into fuller lips.

Love those dark eyes, though. :yup:


I don't like his still pictures much or think he's necessarily all that good looking. The OP asked about "hot" not just cute. Gavin is sexy smokin' HOT when he moves and sings.

Rob Thomas (Matchbox20) is pretty, but I feel no heat from him, even meeting him in person was barely lukewarm.

[livius drusus]

Eddie Vedder spat water on me at a U2 concert.

[beyelzu]

Eddie Vedder spat water on me at a U2 concert.
I have to ask.

please excuse the crudeness of my response.

Did you get wet?

[LadyXoc]

Eddie Vedder spat water on me at a U2 concert.
I have to ask.

please excuse the crudeness of my response.

Did you get wet?

:happy: :happy:

[livius drusus]

I have to ask.

please excuse the crudeness of my response.

Did you get wet?

Dripping. Then I chipped a tooth.

[pescifish]

Whose tooth? :missing:

[livius drusus]

Bono was asking for it. Pompous twit. :giggle:

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Bjork isn't ugly.
Sinead O,Connor would be pretty if she didn't shave her head like a freakin' Nazi skinhead or Demi Moor in GI Jane. :octopus:

[beyelzu]

Bjork isn't ugly.
Sinead O,Connor would be pretty if she didn't shave her head like a freakin' Nazi skinhead or Demi Moor in GI Jane. :octopus:
I think sinead is super hot with a shaved head I also think demi was super hot with a shaved head.

[Adora]

Bjork is beautiful, but not "hot". She's beautiful like landscapes of Icelandic mountains are beautiful- far away & untouchable in etheral fairy land. A bit like her music (I'm still gettin' high off Medula... wheee).

[viscousmemories]

Tori Amos was my first thought. She's one of few performers I've seen live, too. Amazing.

I like lots of the other mentions too. I'm with Adora that Bjork is beautiful but not "hot", and I think bald Sinead was very hot.

Shania Twain has made me sit through an entire country song without gouging my ears out, so I shouldn't have to say much beyond that. Except I confess I feel guilty thinking she's hot, 'cause she's so very stereotypically hot.

[Roland98]

Anthony Kiedis. Rowr.

[D. Scarlatti]

Shania Twain has made me sit through an entire country song without gouging my ears out ...

Shania Twain made you sit through a Jimmie Rodgers song?

[viscousmemories]

Shania Twain has made me sit through an entire country song without gouging my ears out ...

Shania Twain made you sit through a Jimmie Rodgers song?
Was he that skinny, goofy guy on Good Times?

[D. Scarlatti]

Haha Jimmie Walker. Jimmie Rodgers (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000002BLD/102-9759084-5358513?v=glance) was a skinny, goofy guy too.

I just hope you don't think Shania Twain does country music. (She's hot though [and Canadian].)

[SharonDee]

I just hope you don't think Shania Twain does country music.
Yeah, really! I have been watching the perversion of "country" music from my Music Row perch for some time now. It's a mere shadow of its former self, thanks to the takeover of pop producers at the recording studios. :grumpy:

[viscousmemories]

:mock: You guys are so silly. As though anything could make country worse.

[SharonDee]

byte me, vm! :girltong:

[viscousmemories]

byte me, vm!
Is that a little geek humor? :P

:girltong:
Methinks our fair smilie is a lesbian.

[SharonDee]

you're just trying to take the fun out of my day, fucker!

C'mon... I'll fight yer ass!
:boxing:

[viscousmemories]

you're just trying to take the fun out of my day, fucker!

C'mon... I'll fight yer ass!
:boxing:
:3dkick:

[SharonDee]

I'm not above cheating, you know.
:rock:
:nuke:

[viscousmemories]

I'm not above cheating, you know.
Me either.

Nobody gets me hot like Lyle Lovett
You don't say? :chin:

[SharonDee]

Fucker!
:slapface:

[Megatron]

Cristina from Lacuna Coil. fucking HAWT.

[D. Scarlatti]

Beatin' and cheatin' ... vm, you are so country and you don't even know it.

[Dlanod]

Without a doubt, the hottest musical artist is Pat Metheny. When he is in his zone on the guitar he exudes a sensuality that permeates the audience. He seems to be in a world of his own and his face contorts in a way that can only be described as orgasmic. See (http://images.google.com/images?q=Pat+metheny&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search) for yourself. It is hard not to imagine what he might be able to do with that kind of focus on something other than a guitar. That's hot!

To paraphrase a little known film called Starstruck: Guitars are like phallic symbols and he masturbates for a living.

It doesn't hurt that he has great hair, a laid back personality and makes the most incredible music in the world.

- Donald

[Blake]

Funny how individual all this is. I understand y'all talking about the untouchably transcendent Bjork, but I think you've watched too many videos; I just listen to the music, and she's got the mojo.

Shania Twain has made me sit through an entire country song without gouging my ears out, so I shouldn't have to say much beyond that. Except I confess I feel guilty thinking she's hot, 'cause she's so very stereotypically hot.
I feel guilty too, but not because her appeal is stereotypical; I think she looks quite distinctive. The thing that makes me guilty is despite being incredibly hot, she conveys such an unnerving innocence.

That's a great article, luna! That's totally true; I have this sort of continuing low-grade tension within my attraction to Shirley Manson via loving Garbage, combined with the real-world awareness of how thoroughly unavailable she is.

[D. Scarlatti]

Nice riff on Pat Metheny there. I like him in the Joni Mitchell Hollywood Bowl video. She's hot too, for an old broad.

[JoeP]

Ro's vote for Anthony Kiedis would get mine if I were. Instead, I'll just put on Californication. Have none of the girls mentioned David Byrne?

I'd go for Shania Twain. I'd definitely go for Dido. And Avril Lavigne.

Dolores O'Riordan (The Cranberries) is not exactly pretty, but she's hot. Alanis Morrissette has something going on.

But the hottest has to be Shakira.

btw according to luna's quiz I'm Aretha Franklin. Oh.

[Shake]

Now I'm as straight as they come, but Gavin Rossdale is a good looking guy.

I like Shirley Manson of Garbage.

I'd say Britney, but then you're asking for musical artists so she's out! ;)

[godfry n. glad]

Dido.
Above them all.
:ovation:

And then there's Liz Phair, Lisa Loeb (oooo...those glasses - they've got to come off), Trish Yearwood, and when it comes to the Dixie Chicks, it's definitely that hot fiddle player Martie Seidel. :lecher: Especially as a brunette. :lecher:

Sheryl Crow has somethin' raunchy goin'. An' Alison Krauss is cute 'n' all, but she could certainly sing her way into my... And my dirty little secret? Amy Grant. I have sinned in my heart.:angdevil:

If I stick with my age cohort, we're definitely talking Christine McVie and Stevie Nicks. Together. :popeyes: Stevie hasn't seemed to have "worn well". (But then, neither have I.) Aging'll get 'em all eventually. :qsigh: And there's Linda Ronstadt...ah, Linda....those eyes. That voice. :faint:

Alison is the only one I've seen live, and she's hotter in RL than in any picture I've ever seen of her....:damn:

...or were you referring to hot...as in rising in the charts hot? :blink:

...or maybe vocal quality? Or musical ability? :blink:

...or :flaming:

:buggin:

godfry

[RevDahlia]

Trent Reznor, even though he's only about 5'6" and I have it on good authority that he is, like, the biggest jerk in the universe. I can't resist that beautiful El Greco face he's got.

Michael Hutchence was flawless back in the day. While we're on the subject of dead guys, so was Elvis, from the early days of his fame until the Comeback Special (with the black leather, when he sang "Trouble". Yow.)

Ian Astbury from the Cult, even though he's lunched his voice and has become slightly pickled-looking lately.

Mick Jagger when he was young (i.e. from the first Ed Sullivan appearance until he was in "Performance".) I have been told that I only have a thing for Mick because I'm an egomaniac and he used to look exactly like me.

Jim Morrison. I think that if I'd been around in his heyday, I'd've been able to sit through some drunken recitations of his horrible poetry -- only if I got to hit that afterwards.

Beyonce. I'd switch teams for her any day. That body just shouldn't be allowed.

[wade-w]

OK, enough people have brought up people from "back in the day" for me to participate.

Grace Slick. Yum! :lecher:

[JoeP]

godfry, your choices are excellent. Sheryl Crow: mmm. It's the body and the skin and eyes of course, but most of all it's what she does with her lips.

[godfry n. glad]

Why thank you, Joe.

I wouldn't mind a personal performance of "HWC" by Liz Phair, :damn: but then...I'm pretty easy.

Heh...yeeeeaaaaah....

godfry

[godfry n. glad]

OK, enough people have brought up people from "back in the day" for me to participate.

Grace Slick. Yum! :lecher:

Wade!

I took you for a much younger man. You know Gracie? She's not my type, but I can see the attraction.

godfry

[Shake]

Lisa Loeb could keep the glasses on if she wanted ... wouldn't bother me a bit.

I also like Melissa auf der Maur of Hole/Smashing Pumpkins fame. Girls who play bass rock!

[Dingfod]

How about musical artists that find me hot?

Shania, of course. She wants me, I just know it because she sang to me. I know she was singing to me, she was looking right at me on my tee-vee.

[JoeP]

How about musical artists that find me hot?

Shania, of course. She wants me, I just know it because she sang to me. I know she was singing to me, she was looking right at me on my tee-vee.
"So you think you're Warren Lee?
That don't impress me much."

[Dingfod]

Shania would never ever say or sing that to me. :hmph:

[Adora]

I pulled out some of my old JUICE magazines today looking for figure-reference pictures, and lo and behold, who was on the front cover of the top one but Ms Beyonce herself, and I was reminded yet again of why she's at the top of my list.

Oh, and I like Rob Harvey ( lead singer of The Music) with his kooky-ass shuffle-octopus dancing.

In his own way, Hendrix really was sex-onna-stick.

[heathendyke]

Two words: Queen Latifah.
Inda.Arie.
Aretha Franklin. Always and Forever.
Oh, and Bette Midler.

Rene
What's wrong with you people?

[Dingfod]

Two words: Queen Latifah.
Inda.Arie.
Aretha Franklin. Always and Forever.
Oh, and Bette Midler.

Rene
What's wrong with you people?Nothing that a romp in the hay with any of the above wouldn't fix right up.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

How about the chick from The Cranberries?

[Dingfod]

Yeah, I'd do her too.

[RedShift]

Jakob Dylan
Kris Kristofferson
Young Johnny Cash
Nick Cave
Cecilia Bartoli
Neil Diamond

[Adora]

Two words: Queen Latifah.
...
Rene
What's wrong with you people?

I don't find boobs that count as Weapons of Mass Destruction sexy. But that's just me, y'know.

Bette Midler? Jesusfuckchristonnastick. The day I find her sexy is the day I find Shrub sexy. *shudders*

[Dingfod]

Nevermind.

[JoeP]

How about the chick from The Cranberries?
Already mentioned!
Dolores O'Riordan (The Cranberries) is not exactly pretty, but she's hot.
joe

[Godless Dave]

Now I'm as straight as they come, but Gavin Rossdale is a good looking guy.

Well he looks like a girl, so your heterosexuality is intact.

Did I forget to mention Sheryl Crow? She is luscious.

[beyelzu]

Nevermind.
does this mean you want to make it with all of nirvana or just cobain?

[Sweetie]

Has anybody mentioned Faith Hill? If not you guys are a bit nutz. :wink:

My idea of male and female beauty from the music industry but Rob has gained a bit of weight lately and is a bit less attractive than he was. Queen Latifah is worthy of note because she is still attractive despite her weight.

[Godless Dave]

Faith Hill doesn't do much for me. Too mainstream looking, I guess.

[Dingfod]

Nevermind.
does this mean you want to make it with all of nirvana or just cobain?If I make it with what remains of Nirvana and not the remains of Cobain, does that mean I would achieve nirvana? Run, Buddha, run.

[Petra]

Isaac Hayes makes me hot.

If he fucks as good as he sounds then he is truly a God.