Cheer Me Up, Dammit

[livius drusus]

I'm grumpy. I wish to be entertained. A funny story, a pretty picture, even well-crafted abuse (see pz? I never stop thinking about your needs.) will do the trick.

:snowwalk:

[Petra]

Sorry to hear you're grumpy, Liv. :sadcheer:


I wish I were a glow worm,
'Cos a glow worm's never glum.
How can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out yer bum?


:glomp2:


Got no funny stories at the mo, liv - it's way too early in the morning for that - I still got sleep in my eyes.

[Petra]

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/ISI/I-36054.jpg

[livius drusus]

Ah... Silly doggerel and liquor ads... I can feel myself warming up already. Almost. :jekhyde:

[AspenMama]

Every night I go through bedtime rituals with my kids. Lately my daughter calls me over for a final hug-- and then tries to tickle me-- it's her "tickle hug". I go to my son's room last and we chat a bit at the end of the day-- I give him a hug and kiss and tell him I love him then I say, "see you in the morning." He always says, so formal like, "See you then."

This morning my daughter really liked my outfit, so she said, "Mommy, I didn't know you could be so pretty. Do you have a date tonight?" Every time-- makes me forget that I'm running late for work because my little tykes aren't getting ready on time.

That's all I got right now...

[Lauri D]

/me clears her throat, magically morphs into Kermit the Frog, picks up a banjo and perches on a rock beside a babbling brook...

http://ee.eng.usf.edu/people/snider/kermit-banjo.jpg

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

http://www.scd.ucar.edu/dig/dia/geo/rainbow.jpg

(That always cheers me up, hopefully it won't have an opposite effect on someone else ;) )

:seaturt:

[Ex-zombie]

Just for you, Liv. Hope this helps.


http://img62.exs.cx/img62/857/lostpuppypic.jpg

[Petra]

Duuno 'bout you, liv, but they're cheering me up!

:appl: :nova:

[Petra]

http://cg.cs.uni-bonn.de/project-pages/imogl/praktikum01_images/tarantula_nebula.png

[livius drusus]

me -->:fire2:<-- y'all

[Roland98]

So Zavier is 2 1/2. Potty training age. Yesterday in the hospital waiting room, he tells me he has to go potty. I take him into the bathroom, get his pants and pull-ups down and ask him if he has to poop or pee. No sooner are the words out of my mouth than he's peeing all over the floor, and pretty damn proud of himself for doing so, apparently. Meanwhile, I'm trying to hold him still, because at least he's not peeing on either me or his pants.


And if that didn't work,

http://lemonodor.com/archives/images/lucha-vavoom-3-chickens.jpg

[Petra]

Kids can have a way of completely stripping you of any dignity. And then, after they've peed all over the floor, pooped in their pants and puked all over your favourite sweater, they turn around and tell you how beautiful you look today. Ya jus' gotta love 'em.


Zoe made me giggle a few weeks ago when she was going through the arcade high scores and asking me where each one of you were from and looking up the place names in her atlas. When she got to Ronin she said, "Oh I know where he lives, mum - but is it Mississippi or Mistersippi?"

Kids are so cute.

[wildernesse]

Pictures of the outdoors always cheer me up--but they tend to make me a nuisance after looking at them, since then I start the begging for people to quit their school work and go somewhere with me.

Overlook from Richard B. Russell Scenic Hwy. Northern Georgia.
http://www.wildernesse.us/archives/images/sm_RBRoverlook.jpg

Dry Falls in North Carolina.
http://www.wildernesse.us/archives/images/dry_falls.jpg

[Goliath]

I was too young to remember this story myself, but here is how it was told to me by my parents.

One evening when I was about 5 or 6, the family went out to eat. At one point, when our waitress came by the table to ask if everything was okay, I said to her "Hey, you've got a really nice belt!"

Now, I said this completely out of my own volition...I must've liked the belt that she was wearing for some reason. However, the waitress scowled at my dad, thinking that he put me up to saying that in a thinly-veiled attempt at flirtation. :D

Another story: (again, as told to me..I don't remember this first hand)

When I was about the same age (5 or 6), one weekend afternoon I was sitting in the grass playing with some toys, and my mom was nearby in the garden. I apparently learned (inadvertently) how to swear early, because I said (in a really high-pitched kid voice) "Mommy, why the fuck won't this work?" without having a clue as to what I was really saying. :D

[Goliath]

Oooh, I thought of another one...this was even earlier, when I was 4. I was a fairly early reader, and when I was riding in a car, I took to reading out loud what was on street signs (practice makes perfect, after all).

So, one day my mom drove past a convenience store that was "Open 24 hours a day." However, I didn't quite know how to pronounce "hours".....

So, I read the sign out loud as "Open 24 whores a day!"

:P

[Corona688]

me -->:fire2:<-- y'all http://burningsmell.dyndns.org/onfire.gif

[pescifish]

Glad you are getting cheered up!

[Goliath]

me -->:fire2:<-- y'all http://burningsmell.dyndns.org/onfire.gif

:roflmao:

[Goliath]

Now now, pesci...your edit wasn't that quick!

And because your edit wasn't quick enough, you shall get.......a hug!

[dun dun DUN!!!!!!!]

:hug:

[viscousmemories]

http://www.mosaicitalia.com/sberardo/SB3.jpg

-source (http://www.mosaicitalia.com/)

[Petra]

-source (http://www.mosaicitalia.com/)

Wow. That is so beautiful.

I thought it was a painting with lots of gold leaf, but it's a mosaic! Human creativity humbles me. :bow:

[JoeP]

http://img53.exs.cx/img53/4161/PICT0058a.jpg

[livius drusus]

What a lovely thread y'all are making me. Thank you very much. :thankee:

[JoeP]

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
get promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.

[beyelzu]

can you all pretend that I posted something cool and witty.

please

[beyelzu]

I mean, it's the thought that counts, right?

[JoeP]

Liv, stand by for pictures of geckos. But they will be in a new thread.

[beyelzu]

these are paintings my friend sam painted.

the doorway goes with the chick with her guts blown out.

note, the figure in the picture with her guts out looks just like my friend sam, except of course her gun is actually silver in color and not quite as big as the one in the picture.



oh, and her guts arent blown out as well.

[Petra]

Good thing she's still got guts, beyelzu! :D



I have no idea if this is a good poem, what it's about, or anything. Just thought you might like a poem in Italian, so I went looking for one. I hope it's an excellent poem, fit for a ...er... English major! :eh?:


L'isola, by Umberto Piersanti



Ricordi il mirto, fitto tra le boscaglie,

bianchissimo e odoroso, scendere per i dirupi

sopra quel mare? e le capre

tenaci brucare il timo, l'enigma

dello sguardo che si posa

dovunque e sempre assente?



più non so il luogo dell'imbarco

come salimmo nel battello

quali erano le carte per il viaggio.



Scendevi alta per lo stradino polveroso

antica come le ragazze

che portarono i panni alle fontane

la tua carne era bruna come la loro.



Férmati nella radura dove il vento

ha disseccato e sparso i rosmarini

qui potremmo vederle se aspettiamo

immobili alle euforbie quando imbruna

vanno alla bella fonte degli aneti

giocano lì nell'acqua e tra le erbe

e mai s'è udito un pianto

sono felici.



Tu eri come loro, solo una volta

quando uscivi dal mare, ti sei seduta

nei gradini del tempio, un'ombra appena

trascorse di dolore nella faccia.



Seppi così che il tempo era finito

che tra li dei si vive

un giorno solo.



E riprendemmo il mare

normali rotte.



Qualcun altro s'imbarca, attende il turno

né l'isola sprofonda

come vorrei.

[Scotty]

Kiss kiss, love you!

-Scott

[Lauri D]

Hey liv, here’s a true story for you that just happened yesterday. It’s the story of “The Poodle Incident”.

I was sitting here :user: when Dan :call:. He said "You'll never guess what just happened!" I was :dunno2: and he said "You know that yippy little :dogrun: that lives in the backyard behind you?"

I started to feel a bit :huh?: and when he said "It found a way over here!" I almost :faint:, being certain that my 95-lb. beast had torn the little thing asunder. I was almost tempted to :praying: that my dog hadn't committed murder, but then he said "No, no, it's :thumbsup:, I had to calm Dempsey down and have a little :order: , but once he realized there was :noway: he was going to be allowed to eat it, he mellowed out and now they are :doggies:!"

I was so :relieved:, and couldn't wait to see the little thing. When I got home from work, I could hardly believe how :mini: the thing was - I'll bet its whole body weighs less than Dempsey's head. Normally I'm not a fan of tiny dogs, but this one was so cute I couldn't help but want to :cuddle: it. I carried it next door, but no one was home, so back to my house it went.
A few hours went by and I was starting to fall in :love: with the "Little Buddy" with no nametag. But I kept checking to see if anyone was home next door, and finally they arrived. I :runaway: over there right away because I didn't want them to :worry: , and the girl was so happy to see her baby that she was :yes!: and :bow2:

All in all, it was fun to watch Dempsey go nuts trying to figure out what this 3-lb. furball was, and run around after it all night trying to sniff its :donkey:.

[Petra]

LOL!

That was beautiful, Lauri. And so well told! :cool:

:giggle:

[livius drusus]

Joe, geckos cheer me up wherever they are. I'm looking forward to them. bey, you're sick. I love that about you. luna, it's drop dead gorgeous. Thank you for digging it up. Scotty, I can't even believe that picture. It's just plain brilliant. Did you take it? Oh Lauri... I'm sorry you and Dempsey didn't get to keep the amuse-bouche doggie, but I'm so glad you converted the episode into such a thing of smilie beauty.

Thank you.

[Scotty]

Yes, I took that pictures, thank you :)

As for the dog story, that was great, I have 3 little doggies, but not something 3lbs, that is like a teacup poodle.


-Scott

[livius drusus]

I'm blown away by that, Scotty. Your bestiary photography is truly exceptional. Oh, and Corona, thank you for :onfire:. It's been a while since I found something I wanted to upload. :)

[Corona688]

I'm blown away by that, Scotty. Your bestiary photography is truly exceptional. Oh, and Corona, thank you for :onfire:. It's been a while since I found something I wanted to upload. :) Yr'welcome. Took me a minute or two to properly understand your post, and in the meantime I made that thing. Got the frames from http://burningsmell.dyndns.org/flamethrowingsmiley.gif, dissecting that image reveals the comment
Smiley with a flame thrower.
Made by: Forum_Nomad of http://www.warpstorm.com
inspired by: Space cowboy also from http://www.warpstorm.com Now that you mention it, would you mind re-uploading it, Liv? I've added a comment in http://burningsmell.dyndns.org/onfire.gif to properly credit the original author.

[viscousmemories]

That is a great story well-told (as usual) Lauri. :)

[livius drusus]

Done, Corona. Nice touch. :yup:

[Petra]

Scooty should put together a book of nature photographs. :yup:

[LadyShea]

http://www.ghosttownsoftware.com/Maui/4-30-A.jpg
Black sand beach, Hana Hwy, Maui, HI: Waianapanapa State Park

http://www.tamaitistravelbook.net/images/road-to-hana-37.jpg
Tree in Waianapanapa State Park, at the head of the steep downhill trail to the Black Sand Beach

The Hana Coast is my favorite place of all places I have been to. There is a large dog that lives on the black sand beach beach, St. Bernard mix by the looks of him, and his ID tag says "I belong to the Waianapanapa State Park".

The hotel up there sits on acres of green grass and reminded me of a tropical plantation. There were even cows. I want to stay there, rather than in the big resort corrider, when I get back to this most beautiful place :)
http://www.fun-hawaii.com/island-maui/Rooms/Maui-Rates/Hana-Maui-Hotel/Sea-Ranch-Cottage4.jpg

[livius drusus]

Good idea, luna. Maybe Scooty can collaborate on it with livius doofus.

[beyelzu]

Good idea, luna. Maybe Scooty can collaborate on it with livius doofus.
:bow: :bow:

I love the referential quip.

[Petra]

Good idea, luna. Maybe Scooty can collaborate on it with livius doofus.


:hysteric:


Sorry, Scoot an' doof. I guess that'll teach me to post while trying to eat pasta.


:D

[LianaLi]

Liana's Warning if She Ever has Kids:

This will happen to me, I'm sure, if I ever decide to reproduce. I am proud of my three year old logic, though. At the tender age of 3, my mother and I reached an agreement. I could only jump in water that was not deeper than I was tall. I could live with that, since I loved to play in puddles and fountains like any good three year old. We were walking by some water, when I saw the ducks. Now, being three, I absolutely had to play with the ducks. I remembered the deal I had struck with my mom, about water, and looked at the ducks thoughtfully. Now, the ducks were in the water. I wanted to be in the water, but I couldn't play in deep water. But I was taller than the ducks, so I could be in the same water as the ducks. So into the water with the ducks I went!

It didn't occur to my three year old brain that ducks could swim in Lake Michigan. My mother had to jump in to save me. I remember explaining that to her, once she fished us both out with no ducks to show for the adventure.

-Liana

[Brimshack]

I have a large kitchen in my wobly-box. It takes up fully a fourth of the entire home, which isn't sying much, but at any rate I have two kitchen tables, one with a narrow end against the end of the home and the other forming a kind of T section in the middle of the kitchen. The kitchen chairs have rollers on them. The cats love to look out the windows and plan their escape from my evil clutches. One day as I passed the outer table, I suddenly heard scampering under the table, followed by a solid wack on the chair at the very end of the arrangement, and I look down as I pass the chair to see it rolling towards me, and my cat Junkie standing on it with one forepaw against the back of the chair for balance and the other raised high ...waiting for the chair to reach me.

Little bugger is devious.

[viscousmemories]

:biglaugh:

Man I'd love to see a picture of that. That's hilarious.

Btw, why aren't you around here more often ya cretin? :glare:

[The Lone Ranger]

http://www.funnytimes.com/store/images/you_are_here.gif

Just, you know, to keep things in perspective.

[Lauri D]

No kiddin', Brim... been wondering where you're hiding.

(meep, not to derail or anything... :blush: )

[beyelzu]

No kiddin', Brim... been wondering where you're hiding.

(meep, not to derail or anything... :blush: )
dont worry, nothing cheers up liv like a massive derail.

[Brimshack]

I've been plotting and planing an offline project which is sure to sap all my time and money for the next year, leaving me totally broke and exhausted.

I'm so stoked!

[freemonkey]

I know I'm late, and you're probably not even grumpy anymore, but here's something to smile about anyway.

http://home.comcast.net/~freemonkey/chickens.jpg

http://home.comcast.net/~freemonkey/chick.jpg

[freemonkey]

Some very cool sidewalk art!

http://www.ericshinnphotography.com/galleries/personal01/photos/mona_sm.jpg

[livius drusus]

Although I am nowhere near as cranky as I was yesterday, thanks in large part to this thread, I still have more than enough innate surliness to appreciate adorable wee chicks and kickass street art. That fly is amazing! I looks so 3D.

Now, um, can anybody tell me what a wobly-box is?

[JoeP]

Good idea, luna. Maybe Scooty can collaborate on it with livius doofus.


:hysteric:


Sorry, Scoot an' doof. I guess that'll teach me to post while trying to eat pasta.


:D
As a posta you're past it.

[LadyShea]

Now, um, can anybody tell me what a wobly-box is?

I believe a mobile home.

[wei yau]

That fly is amazing! I looks so 3D.


That's not an actual irradiated giant mutant fly brought low by a pedestrian with insect spray?

I agree, it is amazing.

[livius drusus]

Now, um, can anybody tell me what a wobly-box is?

I believe a mobile home.

Brushing up on redneckese for the upcoming move, are we? :D

[livius drusus]

That's not an actual irradiated giant mutant fly brought low by a pedestrian with insect spray?

I seriously had to stare at it for 5 minutes to assure myself that it wasn't.

[wei yau]

Given that I'm an Annie Lennox fanatic, this song kinda helps to cheer me up. Although, the song as performed by Annie is decidedly melancholy.

A Thousand Beautiful Things - Annie Lennox

Every day I write the list
Of reasons why I still believe they do exist
(a thousand beautiful things)
And even though it's hard to see
The glass is full and not half empty
(a thousand beautiful things)
So... light me up like the sun
To cool down with your rain
I never want to close my eyes again
Never close my eyes
Never close my eyes

I thank you for the air to breathe
The heart to beat
The eyes to see again
(a thousand beautiful things)
And all the things that's been and done
The battle's won
The good and bad in everyone
(this is mine to remember)
So ...
Here I go again
Singin' by your window
Pickin' up the pieces of what's left to find

The world was meant for you and me
To figure out our destiny
(a thousand beautiful things)
To live
To die
To breathe
To sleep
To try to make your life complete
(yes yes)
So ...
Light me up like the sun
To cool down with your rain
I never want to close my eyes again
Never close my eyes
never close my eyes ...
That is everything I have to say
(that's all I have to say)

[freemonkey]

kickass street art.

Yeah, who knew? Google sidewalk art and you'll see tons of it.

Another cool thing, every year one of northern Oregon's ocean communities has a Sandcastle Festival (http://www.cannonbeach.org/main/sandcastle.html) every year. I've not been able to get to one yet, but maybe someday.

[Petra]

Mildly amusing tale of recent giggles.

So, I was in the shower about 5 minutes or so ago, and at one point I lost the soap. It's getting to be a fairly thin slither, now, and it slipped from my hand. I couldn't find it anywhere and as I was looking for it, the following image popped into my head causing me to totally crack up till I was in tears in the shower as I imagined a slither of soap disappearing up me bum.

Anyway, I did find it eventually - it had got stuck to the shower curtain.

:D

Just for you, Liv. Hope this helps.


http://img62.exs.cx/img62/857/lostpuppypic.jpg

[LadyShea]

This song always makes me happy. Something about singing 'Shambala' feels good :)

Shambala
Three Dog Night


Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrows, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala

Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind
On the road to Shambala
Everyone is lucky, everyone is so kind
On the road to Shambala

Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala

Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I can tell my sister
'Bout the flowers in her eyes
On the road to Shambala
I can tell my brother
'Bout the flowers in his eyes
On the road to Shambala

Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
Tell me how, how does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
Tell me how, how does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala

Ah-ooooh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah-ooooh, yeah
On the road to Shambala
Ah-ooooh, yeah
Shambala
Ah-ooooh, yeah
On the road to Shambala

[Brimshack]

I'm tellin ya song number 212 always cheers me up:

http://www.ubu.com/outsiders/365/index.html

as does 140, but for that one I have the good Reverend Dahlia to thank.

[Petra]

I'm tellin ya song number 212...

Noooooooooooooo....!!!


:runinbox:

[Brimshack]

You should know better than to listen to me Petra. That's what you get! :P

(P.S. The Lunachicks are a good band, at least occassionally.)