[RANT] "Signed, POTO..."

[Bella]

Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera (http://phantomthemovie.warnerbros.com/) opens, limited release, on 22d December.

Someone drive a fuckin' spike through my left eye right now. It's not bad enough that Lord ALW corrupted the world of modern theatre, oh no. They had to make a goddamn movie out of the worst of the offenders: a sparkling, sappy, romanti-spooge (thanks, liv) travesty featuring a falling lightfixture and a really ugly guy.

Why has this storyline - the Beauty-and-the-Beast crap - prevailed for so many years? Why do we need to see it revamped and vomited out so many times in so many different ways?

<sigh>

Nevertheless, I think I'll see it. The choreography is very true to the French style of ballet and of the time period, as are the costumes - Meg Giry's tulle looks like something out of a Degas painting. Minnie Driver makes her operatic debut, too.

What is the general consensus about stage productions and musicals being turned into films? And what do you think about famous people (like Renee Zellweger in CHICAGO) taking over lead roles, even when their talents are less than a Broadway headliner (albiet an unknown name)?

[wildernesse]

I don't know, what do you think of making a book into a musical? It's probably the same kind of feeling--and The Phantom of the Opera didn't start out as a musical--it's a book by Gaston Leroux.

I've never seen POTO--or actually many theater productions at all, which is pretty sad noting how many are occurring every week here in town. In fact, the only non-community theater I ever may have seen are the Lion King and Joseph and the Multicolored Dream Coat. In many cases, the only way for many people (most?) to see a performance of theater is on film--and note that I didn't say decent or good performances, just a performance. Well, a performance by people out of 5th grade.

So, as far as how I feel about musicals/theater being transferred to film, I don't mind because it disseminates the ideas to a larger audience, which is less than you can say for the book/movie transfer.

[livius drusus]

I've seen it on Broadway and I just now saw a preview on TV. I gotta tell you: that Phatom doesn't look the least bit ugly to me. They probably put some faux burn scars or something under the mask, but the rest of him looks pretty damn fine.

I liked the spectacle on Broadway. It was the first time I saw anything like special effects in a musical and I definitely grooved on it. The music is poppy and repetitious, the lyrics cliche, the visuals splashy and fun: if any musical can be said to be movie-ready, POTO is probably it.

What is the general consensus about stage productions and musicals being turned into films?

It definitely depends on the musical. I think ones with regular dialogue interspersed between the songs (like POTO) translate better to the screen. My favorite musical of all time - Evita - was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's horrendousness actually brought me to tears.

And what do you think about famous people (like Renee Zellweger in CHICAGO) taking over lead roles, even when their talents are less than a Broadway headliner (albiet an unknown name)?

Here's Patti Lupone.

Here's Madonna.

Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice mutilated Evita for that bitch. Everyone knew she didn't have the chops for it. Everyone. Madonna campaigned for years to get a part she wasn't even remotely suited for, a singing part which has something like a 4 octave range, and they finally caved. Only of course, they had to transpose half the songs, write an appalling piece of shit of a new one, and even give her "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" thereby totally fucking upending the entire fucking character of Evita and entirely eliminating the heartbreaking part of Peron's ousted teenage lover.

Yes. Rant. Sorry. It still puts me in a rage when I think of it. :blowtop:

[Bella]

Amen, liv! Tell us how you really feel!

What made me hate Madonna the most is how she mutilated "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" - it's a song with lyrics that don't make much sense as a whole (it's more of a phrase-by-phrase thing). Unfortunately most high-school students fuck it up waaayyy bad, and Madonna's rendition reminded me of those girls.

And liv, correct me if I'm wrong - but in the end of the show when Evita gives the whole "I'm going away" speech, isn't the crowd supposed to be showing their growing dislike for her? Or did I make that up?

[Dingfod]

If it doesn't have Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman in the lead roles, I'm not interested.

[livius drusus]

What made me hate Madonna the most is how she mutilated "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" - it's a song with lyrics that don't make much sense as a whole (it's more of a phrase-by-phrase thing). Unfortunately most high-school students fuck it up waaayyy bad, and Madonna's rendition reminded me of those girls.

Indeed, and needless to say, that was the worst transpositions of them all. The lyrics make sense to me, though: it's Eva selling herself to the people as one of them, thereby justifying her enormous wealth and power as representing the little people.

And liv, correct me if I'm wrong - but in the end of the show when Evita gives the whole "I'm going away" speech, isn't the crowd supposed to be showing their growing dislike for her? Or did I make that up?

Well, if I recall correctly from having seen it on Broadway twice before the ripe old age of seven, the crowd faded and Che's contempt came to the foreground. Not that it was ever in the background much, but he had left the stage after "Waltz for Eva and Che" and her farewell marks his bitter return.

[livius drusus]

In honor of this thread and the upcoming movie, I've uploaded :phantom:.

[Shaguar]

Bree, can I have the spike after you please. I hate loathe and despise SIR Andrew LLyoyd Weber yes Liz knighted the ugly SOB for wait for it, services to MUSIC!!!!!

He ought to be knighted for services to ugly men can have attractive women as long as they have loads of dosh although in his case were I a woman I cannot think of any amountof cash that would induce me to even be seen with the moron.

What is even worse is when you see the guy interviewed he makes out like he is a modern day Mozart.

In summary I would rather remove my own testiscles with a rusty spoon before listening to any ALW crap.

[The Lone Ranger]

Bree, can I have the spike after you please. I hate loathe and despise SIR Andrew LLyoyd Weber yes Liz knighted the ugly SOB for wait for it, services to MUSIC!!!!!


I'll be the first to admit that ALW's music isn't the best ever written, but I rather like "Cats," "Phantom of the Opera," and yes -- "Jesus Christ Superstar." Don't care much for "Evita" and couldn't possibly care less for either "Starlight Express" or "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."

I think in all three cases, it's the words and story that grab me more than the music, though. I love T. S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats," and I thought the story of the Phantom of the Opera was fascinating well before I heard ALW's version of it. I've seen "Cats" on stage several times, but I've never been able to see PotO on stage which I think is a real shame. I remember particularly liking "Jesus Christ Superstar" when I was young because I found it so interesting that several of the characters whom my Sunday School teachers had told me were loathesome individuals (namely Pilate and Judas) were portrayed as quite sympathetic characters. It was actually one of the things that first got me to thinking that just because my Sunday School teachers said something, it wasn't necessarily true. So, maybe my affection for it is somewhat due to nostalgia. I saw a stage production of it a few months ago, and it wasn't quite as affecting as I'd hoped.


Still, I'll definitely want to see "Phantom of the Opera" on the big screen. It won't be the same without Michael Crawford (he was the Phantom!) and Sarah Brightman (she played the naive and not-especially-bright Christine awfully convincingly -- maybe a little too convincingly) though.




By the way: not to nitpick or anything, but didn't the Phantom sign his rants "O.G." (for "Opera Ghost"), rather than "POTO"?

Cheers,

Michael

[Bella]

What is even worse is when you see the guy interviewed he makes out like he is a modern day Mozart.
You know what's really funny? He actually said he was like Mozart in one interview - he said that like Mozart, his greatest work would come from him late in life. What's ironic is that Mozart didn't exactly live to a ripe old age. Granted, his greatest works were composed at the end of his life, but he was 40-something when he died and ALW is what, 100?

JCS and Evita are my two favourite ALW productions. They are very seldom staged in an original way, but the content is amazing. It takes a visonary director and a thoughtful cast to really make the show worth seeing, because otherwise it is simply cliché after cliché.

It won't be the same without Michael Crawford (he was the Phantom!) and Sarah Brightman (she played the naive and not-especially-bright Christine awfully convincingly -- maybe a little too convincingly) though.
Sarah Brightman is my favourite operatic soprano (IMHO, she kicks Renee-Fucking-Fleming's ass). Sarah has not embraced the typical wobbly all over demented peanut whistle style that most middle aged sopranos have; she has more of a bell canto approach that I find very refreshing and appealing.

There's just something a little annoying, though, about her wide-eyed Christine Daaé looking oh-so-naive - you want to hit her over the head and say, for the love of God, wake up!

And yes, Erik signs his letters "O.G." - but in the musical he signs one "P.T.O. - no one likes a debter so it's better if my orders are obeyed!" and I'm assuming he left out the extra 'o' so the lyrics would fit the meter of the music :phantom: .

PS - thanks for the smilie, liv!

[livius drusus]

Salon's review (http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2004/12/22/phantom/index.html) is hilarious.

Now it can be told: Although the press has connivingly led us to believe otherwise, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Joel Schumacher are really pseudonyms for two 11-year-old girls from Allentown, Pa., who, disgruntled because their parents wouldn't buy them canopy beds, decided to sit down and write themselves a musical, darn it. And they'd make a movie out of it, too, just you wait and see. "The Phantom of the Opera" is the long-awaited result.

:chuckle:

[wei yau]

I don't care about Phantom one way or the other. Although, I finally saw a commercial for it the other night. It ended with "...a Joel Schumacher film".

That clinched it for me, no way in hell I'm seeing this movie. I wonder why they even thought to advertise the fact. Does Schumacher actually have a fan base? Is it comprised entirely of self-loathing masochists? Is this a demographic truly worth targetting in advertising?

BTW: I did not know Madonna's Evita was so horribly butchered. Now, I'd like to see a good version. But where?

[livius drusus]

Your best bet is probably a travelling tour, eldar. It's still performed frequently by amateur and pro theater groups, but it hasn't been on Broadway for 20 years. There's no guarantee, of course, that your local theater or itinerant troup will be any good, but at least odds are they'll follow the stage script.

[wei yau]

Your best bet is probably a travelling tour, eldar. It's still performed frequently by amateur and pro theater groups, but it hasn't been on Broadway for 20 years. There's no guarantee, of course, that your local theater or itinerant troup will be any good, but at least odds are they'll follow the stage script.

Not a very good bet, I'm afraid. I'm not really one for the theater scene.

Although, I'll do a search and see if there's a video of a stage production. The Madonna movie can't be the only filmed version, can it?

[livius drusus]

Well... Yeah, it kinda can. How much theater gets filmed? Maybe there's something out there, but nothing I've ever heard of.

[wei yau]

Yeah, nothing with the full production. A couple of videos/dvds that have selections performed by Patti Lupone, but not the entire production.

For some reason, I think everything gets captured on video at one time or another.

[livius drusus]

Someone's probably got a super eight version in their attic somewhere, but considering Evita's age, commercial video is right out.

Maybe they'll do a revival on PBS or something like they did with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (starring a truly well-cast Donny Osmond) and Jesus Christ Superstar (starring a truly homoerotic subtext between Jesus and Judas). That's the best we can hope for, I think, and even then it'll be decidedly inferior without Patti and Mandy.

[Bella]

Someone needs to teach M. Butler to sing. Open your goddamn mouth! His vowels are SO WIDE you could drive a bus through them sideways. I might as well have been watching Fargo. His portrayal of the character reminded me of Timothy James O'Leary, whom I saw on Broadway a while back - I nearly expected Butler to jump up and down and throw a temper tantrum. "Wahhh, I'm ugly! Wahhhh!" Jesus Christ, give me a fuckin' break.

Rossum has only one facial expression: the innocent "I'm confused and saddened!" look. And she starts every musical phrase the same way - softly and beautifully. While beautiful tone is certainly appreciated, you can't possibly extend to the audience a range of emotion if all you're worried about is the beauty if your tone. Especially when you're supposed to be angry. I saw nothing in her character that would have attracted the attention of the Opera Ghost - except for the fact that she is pretty and she has nice undies.

The final scene in the lair was hilarious - Raoul and Le Fantome wading around in the water, with Erik tying the hero to the gate. I covered my eyes; I wasn't sure which way the show was going. It was PG13 but you never know these days - I thought a pseudo-BDSM three-way thing was going to pop out.

Miranda Richardson was perfection, as was the little girl who played her daughter Meg. They were the most fantastic part of this production. Am I going to see it again? Definately - I still don't know whether or not Christine was accepting Erik's invitation to, er, uh, <ahem> during "The Point of No Return" or if she was deliberately bringing him out into the open for Raoul to shoot him. Can't decide, am going back tomorrow night drunk to ring in the New Year with Jek.