Some fucker just stole my bike

[Clutch Munny]

That's it. Some fucker just stole my bike.

I got dressed to bike home, went outside to the rack, and no bike.

It was locked up, too, with a not entirely terrible lock. But it was the only bike at the rack, so maybe the lock didn't matter much. Pretty much any lock can be defeated, so its main function is just to encourage thieves to steal the next bike along. When there is no next bike, you've just got a bored thief with time to kill.

Fuckers.

On the plus side, it was my winter bike which is why it was outside. My nice bike has narrower handlebars that let it fit inside a little storage closet near my office.

This very morning, on my way into work, I thought to myself, "Self, you clearly got the best out of this bike. The frame still looks nice, but dang near every component is cooked."

So my sole consolation is that the thing may need all new components if they plan to sell it to anyone. Which they can get from some other bike they've stolen, but it'll still be work for the sons of bitches to switch them over.

Now I'll have to go buy some new-but-crappy bike for a winter machine, instead of my nice-but-old one.

Fuckers.

[Artemis Entreri]

It'll probably be in a pawn shop by tomorrow

[godfry n. glad]

Try to be philosophical about it, Clutch.

[Clutch Munny]

Try to be philosophical about it, Clutch.

Jeez, I thought I was.

Like Aristotle: "One more of you Athenian fuckers steals my amphora, I'm going straight out to find the most homicidal barbarian in the north and tutor him in how to conquer every cocksucking one of yaz!"

[godfry n. glad]

When somebody stole my bicycle, I suddenly went pro-death penalty for theft.

[Watser?]

I have had more bikes stolen than I remember, sometimes a few a year :angry:

It sucks though

Bastardscum

[Petra]

I have had more bikes stolen than I remember, sometimes a few a year :angry:

It sucks though

Bastardscum

That's one of the things I love about Holland. I've had more bikes stolen, and stolen more bikes, than I've had 'ot dinners in the Netherlands. Everyone just shares everything! (Whether they intend to, or not. :D )

Bummer about your bike, Clutch. I say go get some bolt cutters and go steal one of your own. :D

[Shelli]

Oh, man, that just sucks, Clutch. :sadcheer:

[Johnny Pneumatic]

That sucks, Chuck.

If you leave your next bike in a public place again, try taking the seat off and carry that in with you.

[Clutch Munny]

Damn, now Chuck's had one stolen too?

Maybe we should just have a thread for people whose bike hasn't been stolen. It would be shorter.

[Watser?]

That helps sometimes

Though you see a lot of single wheels still chained to something here.

Oh and for the record: I have never stolen a single bike ever. I am surrounded by thieves though :hmph:

[Shelli]

:giggle:

[seebs]

I think we're past three stolen since I moved up here. Probably at least 5. I have lost count. I just gave up; I don't own a bike right now, it's too hard to keep them.

I am given to understand that it's mostly professionals who do it full-time.

[Shelli]

I leave nothing of any value not locked inside where I live... unless I don't want it anymore that is.

[ChuckF]

Damn, now Chuck's had one stolen too?
No, it was just my unicycle that got nicked. The whole act falls apart without it! :juggle:

[quiet bear]

Clutch, I'm sorry, but just the title of this thread made me laugh.

[viscousmemories]

It wasn't me.

[Dingfod]

Our paperboy stole my bike off our front porch when I was 11. He put electrical tape all over the handlebars and frame tubes to disquise it, denying it was my stolen bike when he was confronted. It sickened me to see my bike go by our house every day with that creep riding it.

[quiet bear]

You should have thrown a stick in the spokes one time.

[Corona688]

You should have thrown a stick in the spokes one time. Can I quote this? It's rare to see you lose your composure over anything but zombie chickens.

[Clutch Munny]

It wasn't me.

Different fucker.

And qb, I'm glad my total bikeless agony and frustration gave you pleasure. Fucker.

[quiet bear]

LOLOL.

I'm sorry. The title had such an incredulous tone to it, it just struck me as funny.

I could just imagine you standing there, hands akimbo, saying "Man, some f^cker just stole my bike!"

[beyelzu]

whereas i felt only sympathy for poor bedraggled bikelessa and no doubt walking clutch,


but then thats how i role.


:tmgrin:

[Tanda]

Our paperboy stole my bike off our front porch when I was 11. He put electrical tape all over the handlebars and frame tubes to disquise it, denying it was my stolen bike when he was confronted. It sickened me to see my bike go by our house every day with that creep riding it.

:laughdie:

Oh, I'm sorry. That really tickled me. :giggles:

Sorry for your misfortune, Clutch. The University next to us circulates a pamplet telling students how to keep their bikes from being stolen. The main thing is taking whatever you can off the bike when you leave it--handlebars, seat, wheels, whatever. Of course, that makes for the ultimate pain-in-the-ass experience having to reassemble your bike everytime you wanna ride it. :doh:

[freemonkey]

I could just imagine you standing there, hands akimbo, saying "Man, some f^cker just stole my bike!"
Clutch akimbo. :lol:

Sorry about your bike, Clutch

[Clutch Munny]

I'm so glad my personal cycling tragedy entertains you all so much.

:glare:

Now I'll end up riding a :oldbike:.

All you Giggling Glendas and Snickering Stellas are just asking for a :bikeover:.

[livius drusus]

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[Shelli]

:chuckle:

[Joshua Adams]

The University next to us circulates a pamplet telling students how to keep their bikes from being stolen. The main thing is taking whatever you can off the bike when you leave it--handlebars, seat, wheels, whatever. Of course, that makes for the ultimate pain-in-the-ass experience having to reassemble your bike everytime you wanna ride it. :doh:What you need to do is disassemble it into tiny, little pieces and put them all into a shoe box. Then you can take it into work with you. But be careful some asshole coworker doesn't just nick the box off your desk, or something. Therefore, put it in a heavy safe immediately upon arrival.

[Dingfod]

You need one of those folding bikes. (http://www.dahon.com/) Just fold it up and take it in with you.

[Clutch Munny]

Update, for those who've been losing sleep over my bike situation: before the winter weather (and accompanying road salt) finally kicked in here last week, I was able to find a replacement winter-beater bike. It's actually vaguely interesting: a Miyata Triple Cross. This was among the very first "hybrid" bikes on the North American markets, and as far as I can tell nobody's designed them any better since.

My specimen is probably 18 years old, but in perfect condition (no doubt because the previous owner didn't ride it in winter!), and since it came with fenders, bottle cage and a pretty nice computer, it made a lot more sense than a new bike for the same price.

Perhaps surprisingly, in the low-ish price range I was looking at it's hard to find new bikes that don't have unnecessary and low-quality crap hanging off them. Like, say, lousy front suspension or even down-market disc brakes. It's also hard to find anything that isn't a badly-built mountain bike. So I was happy to buy something faster (700C tires), lighter, and properly accessorized.

Added bonus: one of the previous owners had already cut the handlebar down to an itty-bitty narrow thing, enabling the bike to fit inside the closet I've commandeered at work. It was because my old winter bike didn't fit into the closet that it was sitting outside to get stolen.

[Watser?]

You take it inside with you?

We just weld them to the nearest lamppost here :welder:

[Clutch Munny]

Yep, I bring it in. Saves it not just from theft, but from rain and cold. Some mats and a plastic carpet runner keep the closet floor from getting schmutzified.

[livius drusus]

Schmutzified... :muttley:

Congratulations on the new baby, Clutch. It sounds like you hit on the perfect deal.

[Sock Puppet]

My specimen is probably 18 years old, but in perfect condition (no doubt because the previous owner didn't ride it in winter!), and since it came with fenders, bottle cage and a pretty nice computer, it made a lot more sense than a new bike for the same price.Bikes were equipped with on-board computers 18 years ago? :shocked:

[Clutch Munny]

I doubt it. Certainly not that particular computer. Mine didn't come with fenders or a bottle cage 18 years ago, either. Here's to all youse who take good care of your bikes and put nice giblets on them, and then sell them cheap to people like me, who ride them into the ground.