Holiday vent

[godfry n. glad]

Okay...

It's seems the christmas crank was not welcome in the "say solstice..." thread.

So, here's a thread to piss and moan, or bitch and moan, or just moan, about the downside of the holidays.

You observe 'em, fine. Don't tell us how wonderful they are, tell us what chafes you, what you wish would go away.

If you observe alternate ones, or altered ones, what and why?

Loosen the leash on your christmas crank in this thread.

godfry

[godfry n. glad]

Okay...

I'll preface this with the information that I was a garbage hauler for five years.

Christmas trees are nice and I really enjoy having the evergreen tree smell indoors, but I've never quite understood the rationale for killing a small tree to display in one's home for two to three weeks and then dispose of it.

I suppose one could say that it's no different than flowers. One cuts those down for display in the home. But flowers are not entire plants and flowers reproduce themselves annually, if not more often. Trees are relatively long-lived organisms.

As I understand it, we, as a culture now culture such trees specifically for the purpose of being cut down and displayed for a few weeks in a home.

Then, when done with it, those who killed the tree give it to someone else to dispose of the remnants. This process causes a bulge in the demand for trash removal. It's costly enough that more than a few resort to throwing their remnants in the street. Of late, youth groups have become involved in post-Christmas tree disposal, usually chipping the remnants for mulch.

There are alternatives. I myself, because I like the aroma of evergreen indoors, purchase a wreath. The thing is, instead of hanging outside on my door, I hang it inside. For obvious reasons. Wreaths do not require the destruction of the tree and can be made from trimmings (and yes, I have done this).

For those who cry, "But what shall we place the presents under?" Um...how about the wreath? Or the mantel? The dining room table, festively decorated? Purists who absolutely must have a looming object taking up and inordinate amount of indoor space could consider a....fake tree.

Yes... He said it. A fake tree. I think they are a much better alternative than butchering a tree for baby Jesus. There are all kinds from what I hear. I've seen the silver ones and the bad plastic bristle, as well as some pretty okay plastic copies. One purchase. Never have to get gouged for the tree at a lot or have to trapse halfway to Timberline to do a driveby execution.

And... Here's an alternative for those for whom a non-natural tree is heresy: potted trees. Trees to be planted after they are used as holiday trees in the home. They have to be kept watered, but then so do the traditional models, or your looking at a visit from the fire crew. (And before you buy, know where it is going to be planted after the holiday....otherwise it will end up on the trash heap with the others.) I have friends who love their bansai pine tree used as their interior christmas tree. They've used it as such for over twenty years now. It's the centerpiece of their living space during the holidays.

I ask those who simply must have an indoor tree, why is there an imperative to butcher a tree for baby Jesus? Why are you doing this? Is it really necessary?

To me it seems an enormous waste of resources on a frippery which becomes a major source of danger through its risk being a fire source. I don't know about your circumstances, but I live in the inner city in a major U.S. city. Christmas trees are a waste disposal problem here and in most other cities, from what I understand.

But that's just me, and I'm a christmas crank.

godfry

[Ymir's blood]

"but real trees make scents!"

That's a common bumper sticker around here as Christmas Tree farms are pretty common. It's also a reason why I detest real trees, as they cause my allegies to go berserk. For the environmentally concious, Frazier Firs are very finicky plants and require a lot of pesticides.

[seebs]

I personally very much dislike the mass commercial aspects of it all. I'm trying very hard to balance my desire to buy pretties for my friends against my dislike of the commercial thing. Worse, I don't know how to deal with any gifts.

[Beth]

I have two artificial trees. It is easier on me, I do not have to rely on hubby to get the tree with us and I can put it up before Thanksgiving if I want or I can do it whenever. It saves in expense as well. The real trees I like run upwards of sixty or seventy bucks. To get an eight to nine footer, it would cost me around a hundred bucks for a single tree. ...Just to throw away in the end. Not cool to me.

Anyway, you can say "Solstice" if you like, but if I hear you say that on the street, I'll assume you a pagan because it seems that the pagans are the ones who normally use that term. "Happy Holidays" seems much broader.

[Godless Dave]

My family scoffs at fake trees, but they are a lot more environmentally friendly.

One alternative to throwing a real tree away is to cut it up and use it as firewood. Pine smells just delicious when burned. I read somewhere that because of the high amount of flammable sap it is dangerous to burn christmas tree wood indoors. This probably came from the same pantywaists who banned lawn Jarts but I suppose for safety reasons you should only burn christmas tree wood outdoors.

A friend of mine who is a Morris dancer knows a guy who stores his xmas tree outdoors from the time he takes it down until May 1. The Morris dancers have a private outdoor dance on May Day morning and they throw the whole tree, completely dried out, onto a bonfire. Whoosh!

[godfry n. glad]

Anyway, you can say "Solstice" if you like, but if I hear you say that on the street, I'll assume you a pagan because it seems that the pagans are the ones who normally use that term. "Happy Holidays" seems much broader.

Yeah, I know... the nascent pagan movement has hijacked a perfectly good naturalistic term as theirs. It's not.

Yule is closer, but it seems to be confined to the Germanic and Scandinavian pagan traditions. As I understand it, it was likely that the solstices and equinoxes were not celebrated as full holidays in the Celtic pagan tradition, as they observed the likes of Samhain, Imbolc and other "midseason" holidays (from our perspective). November 1 and February 2 on our calendars would have been the approximate dates of their seasonal festivities. My understanding may be inaccurate, though.

godfry

[Godless Dave]

Now I remember why I hate the season. It's costing me $400 to fly to my hometown for three days. I'm not sure my family is worth $400.

[Roland98]

As I understand it, we, as a culture now culture such trees specifically for the purpose of being cut down and displayed for a few weeks in a home.

Yep. I have friends who own a Christmas tree farm.

We did have a real tree 2 years ago (from the friends' farm). We'd gone from a tiny little house to our giant one, and our little 5-ft fake tree just looked way too small. But I hated dealing with it, hated cleaning up pine needles, and felt bad about trashing it. So that Christmas we just bought a bigger fake one (pre-lighted) on clearance after the season and have used that last year and this year.

Oh, and I just use "happy holidays" rather than specifying anything in particular. Too many Jewish, Muslim, and non-theist friends to be specific, and I really see the whole thing as a secular holiday anyway. If you have to be "reminded for the reason for the season" as many church signs say at this time, it doesn't seem that religious to me.

[RevDahlia]

Many recycling centers will mulch your tree for you when you're done with it. This is how we always dispose of ours.

I started writing about my own holiday crank, but it turned into a novel, so I'm putting it in my journal. (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/journal.php?do=view&journalid=32#A%20Very%20Retail%20Christmas)

[viscousmemories]

I haven't personally done anything for Christmas involving trees, decorations or the like for my whole adult life. I really liked a lot of my family traditions when I was a little kid, but they fell apart when my family did, so I have shunned celebration ever since. I will go to the annual family and/or company (as applicable) Christmas party, though. I don't really have anything against the music, religious overtones, etc. Although I have in years past been repulsed by the materialistic aspects of it, I've come to accept consumer excess as a permanent and immutable fact of American life.

[Ab_Normal]

Mr. Ab and I still use the 2-ft plastic tree we bought for our first Xmas together (going strong after 16 years). If we ever suffered communal brain damage and decided to have a "real" tree, we'd save it for a friend of ours who has a big party w/a bonfire for the Spring equinox.

[maddog]

I always liked a Pennsylvania German tradition about Xmas trees: it's real but it's not. You go out in the woods and find a fallen branch with lots of little branchlets, in an artistically pleasing shape. From the picture I saw, I'd say it probably was NOT evergreen. You find one w/o leaves, or else take the leaves off. Then you wrap the "trunk" (branch) and "branches" (stems) with wound strips of cotton batting. So you end up with a snowy-looking twig tree just the right size for on top of a table. Nail on a stand, put it on the table, and decorate with e.g., strung cranberries & popcorn, clear toy candy, or other decorations. It's quite pretty. You can store it and use it again the next year.

I'll get around to my Xmas banes later.

#122

[godfry n. glad]

Nobody else wants to break the little drummer boy's hands?

I also have recommendations on what to do with those chestnuts roasting on a open fire.

Was Bing Crosby really into coke?

Incessant banal christmas muzak.....ARRRRRRRRRRGH!

I must admit though, that I love satirical knockoffs, like "Walking 'Round in Women's Underwear." Locally, we have a small women's choral group, know as the Fallen Angels, that does satirical rewrites of favorite christmas carols, most poking fun at the hypercommercialization of the holiday. They are a joy.

godfry

[RevDahlia]

I always liked a Pennsylvania German tradition about Xmas trees: it's real but it's not. You go out in the woods and find a fallen branch with lots of little branchlets, in an artistically pleasing shape. From the picture I saw, I'd say it probably was NOT evergreen. You find one w/o leaves, or else take the leaves off. Then you wrap the "trunk" (branch) and "branches" (stems) with wound strips of cotton batting. So you end up with a snowy-looking twig tree just the right size for on top of a table. Nail on a stand, put it on the table, and decorate with e.g., strung cranberries & popcorn, clear toy candy, or other decorations. It's quite pretty. You can store it and use it again the next year.
#122
This is an old German, and not just Pennsylvania German, tradition. In years past German artisans would make feather trees -- branches with colorfully-dyed feathers affixed. They are valuable antiques today. I learned about them in Jane and Michael Stern's book The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060164700/qid=1102559751/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-6540133-2298547?v=glance&s=books), now tragically out of print. They have a whole entry about artificial Christmas trees -- apparently Liberace had a lacquer-black one that he liked so much he kept it up all year round.

In my family, we used to make Easter trees -- sturdy branches on which we hung our Easter eggs. I thought this was a common thing when I was little, but now know of nobody else who did it. (And everyone else hard-boils their eggs instead of blowing out the contents -- yecch.)

Topic? This (http://www.lyricsbox.com/lee-ann-womack-lyrics-the-man-with-the-bag-m47qc83.html) is the worst Christmas song of all time. If you ever have the misfortune to hear this gem, you'll understand why I've been banging on about it so.

[godfry n. glad]

Damn....

Your bookstore story is all the more reason for me to appreciate my underpaid library job: No muzak. Of any kind. What bliss. I hear photocopiers, fax machines, soft conversations and keyboarding....lots of keyboarding. Occasional ringing phones.

godfry

[lady cop]

December to me means an increase in domestic violence, DUIs and the time-honored Christmas shoplifting frenzy...plus i always work the holiday, to the festive jingle of handcuffs and drifting white powder that ISN'T snow (as in the traditional "White Christmas")... other than that, i have wonderful memories of childhood and family, and am subject to nostalgia attacks until January 1.

[livius drusus]

:chuckle:

[Dingfod]

December to me means an increase in domestic violence, DUIs and the time-honored Christmas shoplifting frenzy...plus i always work the holiday, to the festive jingle of handcuffs and drifting white powder that ISN'T snow (as in the traditional "White Christmas")... other than that, i have wonderful memories of childhood and family, and am subject to nostalgia attacks until January 1.I think I'm falling in love.

[lady cop]

December to me means an increase in domestic violence, DUIs and the time-honored Christmas shoplifting frenzy...plus i always work the holiday, to the festive jingle of handcuffs and drifting white powder that ISN'T snow (as in the traditional "White Christmas")... other than that, i have wonderful memories of childhood and family, and am subject to nostalgia attacks until January 1.I think I'm falling in love.
...told you i am not here to bust anybody! :D

[Dingfod]

Ohhh. She said bust. :love:

[Sweetie]

Christmas to me is usually a love/hate thing. The things I hate: all the work. The work of the shopping, wrapping, decorating. The work of making this incredibly large meal which is only enjoyable for ten minutes, until it's time to clean up this massive amount of dishes or until you are so tired you feel like passing out. The amount of cleaning and hostessing to have the guests. The amount of lack of sleep, which just makes me a bear or a bit unstable. Usually, by the time Christmas comes I want to sit in the living room in the quiet by myself for hours and hours until I can stand to get back into it, then I just have people bitching at me, "why aren't you out here visiting with us while we're here?" I just want to yell at them, "too much is too much!" It's often just too much at once for me.

The Christmas tree is the worst. My husband is way, way more into Christmas than I am. I finally convinced him that we do not need a real tree! What a battle and what a lot of bitching but I put my foot down. Maybe occasionally we can get one, but not this year and not last year. I remember one time, I was maybe 14, and my parents weren't big into tradition, but we decided to get this massive tree, and I ended up decorating it by myself. It took me so long, and it was a sort of I have to do it or nobody else will that I hated it. As a family, I was pretty much raised an only child even though I have siblings, but if we do it as a family, it's alright, there's some joy in it, but to do it just for the sake of doing it? That hatred of it has only dissipated in the last one or two years, but then we do it as a family and I think that Christmas is mostly for kids, and they enjoy it so much so there's joy in it. This is a bitch thread, but I must say that I do find joy in the lights on the tree at night when we turn the other lights out.

I hate the commercialism. I worked at a department store for so long, there's no breaks closer to Christmas, there's just way, way more work. You're more tired, the holidays just become work, work, work. How can you enjoy it when you spend a solid month in preperation, and a solid month of work for just one day basically and then it's done? Boxing Day, people are back at the shopping, you sure as hell wouldn't catch me out there unless I had to be. They're out there to get the deals for their Christmas next year which, who can enjoy it because they'll be out there right after the store's open to get the deals for the next year, or to return all the gifts they didn't want. Four hours to get out of a parking lot????? Insanity.

Then there is the kids to deal with. Tired and cranky spoiled children. I have three and they are the only grandchildren to a total of five people, and two aunts (theirs) and really, the only children around in my family to buy things for but they get so much that I really have little joy in buying them just something else to have to find a place for. I think I convinced the grandparents to recognize the situation and lighten up a bit. Really, my father-in-law would come over with garbage bags full of presents, plus ones that don't fit in bags. Our tree would be so backed up! When they're hauling it in I'm like, "aren't you done yet?" And better still, he would buy us like, gifts worth hundreds of dollars and we'd have nothing special to give him back. I'm not stupid enough to spend so much money at Christmas that I'm paying it off for the rest of the year. Thank God that he's fairly broke this year so maybe we can screw the presents except for a few things for the kids, and just enjoy each other's company. No working, buying, wrapping, hauling, cleaning, storing. And that's just him and his wife mind you, there's still my parents, and my mother-in-law plus a set of great-grandparents, though one has died since.

[seebs]

I dunno. Luckily, my friends are tolerant of lack of presents. 'cuz I don't always remember. And furthermore, sometimes I just get them presents without waiting for an occasion. So no one takes it personally, and I don't have to shop. :)

[The Lone Ranger]

Christmas trees are nice and I really enjoy having the evergreen tree smell indoors, but I've never quite understood the rationale for killing a small tree to display in one's home for two to three weeks and then dispose of it.



I consider the practice of growing a tree for the sole purpose of cutting it down and sticking it in your living room for a couple of weeks barbaric. If I were ever to put up a Christmas Tree (not very likely!), I'd buy an artificial one.

Alternatively, I'd do as a botanist friend of mine does. Every year, he buys a 5-foot to 6-foot blue spruce or other such evergreen that'll do well in this climate from a nursery, decorates it for the holidays, then plants it. That's kind of expensive, but vastly preferable to killing a tree for (in my opinion) no good reason.

Cheers,

Michael

[livius drusus]

My parents used to plant our trees after the Epiphany (Roman climate gives you lots of options on that score) and they lived for exactly 11 months every year. My dad's theory was that the nursery people had trimmed the roots so that they'd never really take hold thereby forcing us to get a new one.

It never really made much sense to me, though. I mean, if it had taken root well, then would we really have been able to dig it up again and reuse it? I guess people move plants all the time, but a tree?

Also, what kind of bonsai masters would be able to time a tree's death so perfectly?

[Godless Dave]

Alternatively, I'd do as a botanist friend of mine does. Every year, he buys a 5-foot to 6-foot blue spruce or other such evergreen that'll do well in this climate from a nursery, decorates it for the holidays, then plants it.

My parents did that twice. I was pretty young so I don't remember how they managed to plant a tree in frozen soil. If I had been older I imagine my dad would have handed me a pick and shovel and delegated the responsibility to me. Never put off till tomorrow what you can make your kids do today, that's my dad's motto.

[Dingfod]

Plan ahead, dig the hole before the ground freezes. If you live where the ground freezes anyway. Here in Oklahoma, there's about a 50/50 chance of having frozen ground right after Xmas and even then, it's only frozen a little way down.

[godfry n. glad]

Bumping because reality should have set in by now....

Can anybody tell me what the rationale might be for why a neighbor, an intelligent woman, would send me a christmas card through the mails? I mean, she could have walked across the street and saved herself the postage....or even the cost of the assembly line card.

godfry

[Dingfod]

What sort of reality? That one version of reality where I've already bought my wife the Xmas gift of her dreams, that diamond pendant she's wanted for a couple decades? Or the alternative reality where I haven't bought her anything at all yet and have procrastinated until the last few days as usual?

Or the reality that if you didn't predig the hole for your Xmas tree it's too late in much of the country unless you have access to a rock drill and dynamite?

[viscousmemories]

Or the reality that if you didn't predig the hole for your Xmas tree it's too late in much of the country unless you have access to a rock drill and dynamite?
We've always favored the metal stand over tearing up the livingroom floor.

[godfry n. glad]

What sort of reality? That one version of reality where I've already bought my wife the Xmas gift of her dreams, that diamond pendant she's wanted for a couple decades? Or the alternative reality where I haven't bought her anything at all yet and have procrastinated until the last few days as usual?

Or the reality that if you didn't predig the hole for your Xmas tree it's too late in much of the country unless you have access to a rock drill and dynamite?


I pick.....the alternative reality. (Which, I, cynic that I am, suspect is closer to the actuality.)

Are you really looking forward to plunging into the masses of maniacs in search of "something acceptable"?

Sorry, it's too late for online purchases.

godfry

[godfry n. glad]

Or the reality that if you didn't predig the hole for your Xmas tree it's too late in much of the country unless you have access to a rock drill and dynamite?
We've always favored the metal stand over tearing up the livingroom floor.

Why would you need to tear up the livingroom floor for a potted tree?

godfry

[Dingfod]

Are you really looking forward to plunging into the masses of maniacs in search of "something acceptable"?I'm hoping to slide right into an available parking space not too far away from Restoration Hardware (http://www.restorationhardware.com/) and pick up that quilt she was admiring the other day. You probably thought I was a pessimist. Also, if all I wanted to order was a fruit basket it is not yet too late to order one from the local florist or grocery store. Of course, the quilt would be quite a bit more warming out in the doghouse than the fruit basket.