Alexander

[Bella]

Hmmm. Colin Farrell is hot. Angelina Jolie is hot. Sounds like a good movie, eh?

:yawn:

What I didn't understand is why everyone (some reviewers, most of the people who went to see it and talked to me about it) said that the movie was about two steps away from a gay porno. I didn't see any dick. Or butt sex. Or even passionate guy-on-guy kissing (dammit). Just a lot of "I love you" and hugging. So what's the big deal, anyway? Can't we handle a little bit of manly love? Jeez.

[dave_a]

Hmmm. Colin Farrell is hot. Angelina Jolie is hot. Sounds like a good movie, eh?

:yawn:

What I didn't understand is why everyone (some reviewers, most of the people who went to see it and talked to me about it) said that the movie was about two steps away from a gay porno. I didn't see any dick. Or butt sex. Or even passionate guy-on-guy kissing (dammit). Just a lot of "I love you" and hugging. So what's the big deal, anyway? Can't we handle a little bit of manly love? Jeez.

I think this is one of those movies where sides form and folks who haven't seen it start commenting how good or bad it was.

I haven't seen it.

The primary complaint I have heard is that Alexander was portrayed as very gay in an effeminate way. Supposedly the historical Alexander might have been bi, but was "manly and macho".

I wasn't around to meet Alexander and haven't seen the movie so I really don't know anything.

[Godless Dave]

I'd like to see it because I'm a sucker for historical movies, but I'm also extremely picky about historical accuracy.

I don't give a flying fuck about Alexander's sexuality, unless a filmmaker wants to explore how sexuality was regarded in Hellenistic society which I suspect was very different from how we regard it today. I'm much more interested in how Alexander felt when he reached the Indian subcontinent and realized the world was much, much bigger than he had thought and there was no hope of conquering all of it. I'm also interested in how he descended into drunkenness and made no provisions for the future of the empire he created, resulting in its distintegration after his death.

[livius drusus]

I love historical movies too, but I get a feeling from the previews that this one would annoy the fuck out of me. Two reasons:
Angelina Jolie's idiotic generic fureign accent
the Braveheart ripoff speech to the troops

[dave_a]

Angelina Jolie's idiotic generic fureign accent


Yeah, but anybody as sizzling hot as Angelina Jolie can speak with any accent they wish and still be hot enough to make the movie worth seeing. Hell, she could have no lines and just sit there and it would still be worth seeing. If she takes off her clothes in the movie then it deserves an Academy Award:pant: :drooleek:

[livius drusus]

Yes, yes, I know... I'm sure if she washed her mouth out with dave the accent would be perfect.

[dave_a]

Yes, yes, I know... I'm sure if she washed her mouth out with dave the accent would be perfect.

oooh, now I am getting horny. I think my new fantasy is going to be Angelina Jolie bringing me a Hardee's Monster burger and my eating it while she washes her mouth out with dave. gotta go now, typing with one hand is difficult.

[xorbie]

Angelina Jolie's idiotic generic fureign accent


If she takes off her clothes in the movie then it deserves an Academy Award:pant: :drooleek:

Didn't seem to work for Gia....

[dave_a]

Angelina Jolie's idiotic generic fureign accent


If she takes off her clothes in the movie then it deserves an Academy Award:pant: :drooleek:

Didn't seem to work for Gia....

No, but as far as I am concerned it should have. Not only was she nekkid, but there was girl/girl sex to boot.

I don't know what more it takes to get an award from these critic types. Sheesh.

Gia is one of those movies where there is absolutely no reason to watch it other than Angelina Jolie was naked throughout most of it. Does there need to be any other reason?

Anyway, back to 'Alexander'... (for those of you have seen it, does she get nekkid?) Gotta decide if it is worth seeing or not :D

[Adora]

[COLOR=Indigo]Hmmm. Colin Farrell is hot. Angelina Jolie is hot. Sounds like a good movie, eh?
Jared Leto is way hot.

So what's the big deal, anyway? Can't we handle a little bit of manly love? Jeez.
In the homophobic-as-fuck US? Unlikely.

Apparently some Greek lawyers are trying to ban it because they don't like the fact it portrays Alexander as "Homosexual". Reality check: he wasn't homosexual. Such distinctions of sexuality didn't fucking exist back-in-teh-days. And as you said, it's hardly "The Homoerotic Adventures of Alexander".

[Dingfod]

What I didn't understand is why everyone (some reviewers, most of the people who went to see it and talked to me about it) said that the movie was about two steps away from a gay porno. I didn't see any dick. Or butt sex.[/COLOR]You missed the butt sex? There was a party scene that didn't involve the major players in which a slave appeared to have been bent over a table and "rear-ended", which was observed by Alexander with apparent discomfort. Perhaps it was idea of butt sex that kept him from going all the way gay, I don't know.

I gotta say the lengthy face to face gazes and longing looks got to be a bit much after a while, enough already, if you're going to be gay or bi-, get on with it. Go down on him already, sheesh! I think I would've been just as uncomfortable if Alexander had been looking at Roxane (Rosario Dawson) that way for as long as he looked at his near constant companion, Hephaistion (Jared Leto), or his bath-giving manservant Bagoas (Fransisco Bosch), who bore a strong resemblence to Jaye Davidson in The Crying Game. Perhaps my discomfort with the scenes was related to my teenage daughter sitting next to me in the theater as much as what was being shown.

BTW, Rosario Dawson, who is nude and fighting with Farrell is, lets just say, HOT. However, I was more intrigued by the Persian princess played by Analise Hesme, and I only saw her face. Shit, it just dawned on me, I'm not gay after all.

Roxy's Review: "Hated it. Not the worst movie ever, but bad enough."

BTW, Roxy was named after Roxane, not Roxanne, the movie starring Daryl Hannah and Steve Martin that came out the same year she was born. My folks sent my wife and I an anniversary card one year that had a list of great lovers in history and one couple on the list was Alexander and Roxane. I loved the name and it wasn't a hard sell.

[Dingfod]

Anyway, back to 'Alexander'... (for those of you have seen it, does she get nekkid?) Gotta decide if it is worth seeing or not :DNo. But her nipples are prominently on display through some rather thin materials. There you have it. Rosario Dawson, who did get nekkid in the movie, has a better body anyway. See it for that reason, if none other.

[Bella]

Her boobs totally looked fake. And what was with that stupid tattoo on her ass?

[wade-w]

Her boobs totally looked fake. And what was with that stupid tattoo on her ass?

Yuck.

[Dingfod]

Her boobs totally looked fake. And what was with that stupid tattoo on her ass?What tattoo?

A Hollywood actress that doesn't have fake boobs would make bigger news than one that does.

[LadyShea]

Sorry to resurrect but I just finally got around to seeing it; we rented it last night.

What an incoherent piece of shit. It was impossible to follow as it skipped hither and yon for no reason, had some of the worst transitions ever, and, again for no reason, everyone tried to do an accent and none of them sounded like anything (Angelina Jolie sounded like she was trying Russian or something and Val Kilmer sounded vaguely Irish or Scottish).

I thought there was way too much emphasis on the "guy love". Not porn or anything, just too much.

[livius drusus]

It sounds as crappy as I thought it was. Except for the guy love parts. Those sound great. :heybabeh:

[Dingfod]

Is it okay to laugh at my own writings? I just reread my review and couldn't help myself.

[LadyShea]

It sounds as crappy as I thought it was. Except for the guy love parts. Those sound great. :heybabeh:

What exactly happened to Oliver Stone? He used to be great. For example, say what you want about the factuality of JFK, but it was a great movie...many characters and complex storylines but still coherent and gripping...I was totally lost in the story.

All last night during Alexander, though, I was throwing my hands in the air going "Who the hell is that? What just happened? Who died? When and where are they now? Did they really just use a tunnel vision fade in during a battle scene in a multi-million dollar production?" keep in mind I never took my eyes off the screen, so it's not like I wasn't paying attention.

And the guy love was presented badly liv, very very badly. Not sexy, not beautiful, but as some kind of overblown "comrade in arms but with sexual tension" melodrama. Just a mess all around.

[Veritas]

They've just released it on DVD over here; the Director's Cut - probably 'cause the cinema version was heap big steaming faeces. (I wasted five beans on that. Bastards)! :fuming:

It scares me how much I am agreeing with a group of Americans - does this mean I am now politically correct? :innocent:

Anyhoo...Angelina with the snakes. Am I the only one to find those scenes a tad phallic? :P

Buggery - brief party scene, look on Farrell's face; "That looks nice, must try that when I get to India."

Indian boy snog scene - mates egging him on, rather like a drunken bout in a Scottish pub, only here you'd get kneecapped for publicly snogging another bloke. "Go on Alexander, you rule the world, stick your tongue in his mouth."

Death scene - whatisface, his best pal - supposed to be sad - my rectum prolapsed with laughing so much, rather like Alexander's did after being bummed by his generals.

As to his sexuality, who cares? It was almost a tradition in those days and they didn't have Nip/Tuck men to perform an anusplasty or whatever it's called. Surprises me that so many people focus on that as if taking it up the brown-eye was the most significant of his achievements in his short life.

[xyza]

They've just released it on DVD over here; the Director's Cut - probably 'cause the cinema version was heap big steaming faeces.Yep, that's the reason, I learnt on BBC news 24 or something that they will soon be releasing cinema, dvd and pay-to-view simultaneously, to try to make the money they are currently not.

[Veritas]

I'd still let the Farrell bang me from behind though. I'd turn his blonde wig into a fanny-warmer.

[livius drusus]

Death scene - whatisface, his best pal - supposed to be sad - my rectum prolapsed with laughing so much, rather like Alexander's did after being bummed by his generals.

As to his sexuality, who cares? It was almost a tradition in those days and they didn't have Nip/Tuck men to perform an anusplasty or whatever it's called. Surprises me that so many people focus on that as if taking it up the brown-eye was the most significant of his achievements in his short life.


:laughcry: Man, that's some funny shit.

[Veritas]

Why thank you, kind sir (madam? sorry, your avatar is asexual, I can't tell).

I aim to please.

[livius drusus]

Madam. :curtsey: Your monkey is neutered, I presume?

[HighOnHotSauce]

I'd like to see it because I'm a sucker for historical movies, but I'm also extremely picky about historical accuracy.

Yep, I'm right there with you
I love historical movies too, but I get a feeling from the previews that this one would annoy the fuck out of me. Two reasons:

* Angelina Jolie's idiotic generic fureign accent
* the Braveheart ripoff speech to the troops

Yes indeed....

[Veritas]

Madam. :curtsey: Your monkey is neutered, I presume?

My monkey is a hermaphrodite.

Christ on a bike, that's not a sentence I ever thought I would type stone-cold-sober.
:giggle: