Groucho Marx - quote him here

[Leesifer]

Thanks to pFunk for the new Groucho Marx smiley. Here's the thread to post your favourite quotes from the man himself:

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
:grouchomarx:

[Crumb]

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
:grouchomarx:

[The Lone Ranger]

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
:grouchomarx:

[livius drusus]

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
:grouchomarx:

[parliamentFunk]

Here's to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
:grouchomarx:

[Leesifer]

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
:grouchomarx:

[Crumb]

You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute 'n a huff.
:grouchomarx:

[parliamentFunk]

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.
:grouchomarx:

[Watser?]

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
:grouchomarx:

[The Lone Ranger]

We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . . But we're going back next week.
:grouchomarx:

[Watser?]

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music
:grouchomarx:

[The Lone Ranger]

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
:grouchomarx:

[SharonDee]

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.
:grouchomarx:

[The Lone Ranger]

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
:grouchomarx:

[SharonDee]

You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.
:grouchomarx:

[Leesifer]

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
:grouchomarx:

[Watser?]

Go, and never darken my towels again
:grouchomarx:

[Leesifer]

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
:grouchomarx:

[SharonDee]

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
:grouchomarx:

[ceptimus]

All right. It says the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part, shall be known in this contract - look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this, we'll take it right out, eh?
:grouchomarx:

[Watser?]

Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
:grouchomarx:

[Dingfod]

I don't want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member.
:groucho:


Wow, there's another Groucho smiley.

[parliamentFunk]

I don't want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member.
:groucho:


Wow, there's another Groucho smiley.

Don't you be parading that piece of shit around my emote! :glare:

:giggle: