Need Some Help

[Sonnet]

My boyfriend hung himself last week. I'm lost. I don't know what to do.

[SharonDee]

oh, no! I am so sorry to hear this, (((Sonnet))).

[livius drusus]

Oh Sonnet, no...

[Ex-zombie]

Sonnet,

I am sorry. Sending hugs your way. Is there anything I can do for you? :(

[viscousmemories]

I'm so sorry, Sonnet. :(

[wildernesse]

Sonnet,

I'm so, so sorry.

((((Sonnet))))

I wish I could do something other than offer virtual hugs.

tac

[LadyShea]

Oh Sonnet, I am so sorry. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk about it.

[Goliath]

Holy fucking shit! :(

I'm so sorry, Sonnet. I wish I could say or do something helpful... :deepsigh:

I guess I'll just echo Shea in saying that if you need a shoulder to cry on via PMs, I'll be happy to help.

[Petra]

Oh my God! :eek:

Sonnet, I'm so very, very sorry. That's terrible news. :(


Fuck, that's terrible news. :(



Sonnet, you're not going to follow him, are you? Do you have much of a support network at home? Good friends, understanding family, etc? Is there a counsellor you can talk to, to help you through this tragedy?

:(

[xorbie]

Holy fuck, I'm so sorry. :(

I guess I'm with everyone else.. if you need to talk, do so, whether it be online, in private, with someone you know, whatever.

[AspenMama]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

If you need someone to talk to, I found this online:
http://suicidehotlines.com/

It's for anyone facing an emotional crisis.

There's a ton of websites online with crisis information about suicide. Hopefully you can find something to help.

[Sonnet]

Sonnet, you're not going to follow him, are you? Do you have much of a support network at home? Good friends, understanding family, etc? Is there a counsellor you can talk to, to help you through this tragedy?

:(

I honestly don't know the answer to that. I have a good support system. I miss him so much I don't know if that's enough to help me stand it.

[maddog]

Without even thinking, I said out loud, "Oh, shit, no!!" How terribly shocking and horrible for you! Dear heart, I'm so incredibly sorry. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. Sending virtual hugs your way: {{{{Sonnet}}}} You are thought of, and loved.

In sympathy for your sorrow and loss . . . May you find comfort and shelter in the lives and love of those who know him and you.

[Petra]

Sonnet, that pain will last for a long time yet, but it will diminish with time. THat's not to say that your love for him and your memories of him will diminish, just the sense of overwhelming loss and despair will begin to fade.

Suicide is such a tragedy, and affects so many people - friends, family, lovers....the grief surrounding suicide is intense and those left behind are often also left feeling guilty that they were unable to prevent it.

Please call the number at the site AspenMama found - it can only help.

Also, please make sure you call in here everyday - I'm worried about you now, and I want to know each and every day that you are working through your grief, coming to terms with your loss, and healing.

I'm crying now, too, Sonnet. Please look after yourself and try to stay strong. :(

[freemonkey]

Oh, Sonnet, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. :( Is it something you can/want to talk about? Do you have anyone to stay with you?

[bobeh]

Sonnet...I don't know what to say...but I'm sure no one does really.

I know a bit about depression having been there. All I can say is don't blame yourself in any way. No one can be blamed for this any more than for someone dying of cancer or in a car accident.

I so wish I could give you a real hug...and not just 'cause you're gorgeous.

I don't really know you...but i'm shedding some tears for you.
bob

[lady cop]

we have never "met" but you have my heartfelt sympathy.

[Ymir's blood]

:(

May you find your way through this pain as quickly as possible.

[Dingfod]

Damn! I don't know what to say except to echo what others here have said. Please feel free to communicate with us. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

[HelenM]

I honestly don't know the answer to that. I have a good support system. I miss him so much I don't know if that's enough to help me stand it.


Please tell the people in your support system how bad you're feeling.

I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend :(

Helen

[RevDahlia]

Oh Sonnet, I am so sorry. How awful.

Be sweet to yourself.

[seebs]

... What can I say? Nothing that hasn't been said already.

We are all here for you, if you need someone to talk to. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.

[Roland98]

I don't know what to say either. :( Please take care of yourself.

[Noodlenader]

:sadcheer: :sadcheer: :sadcheer: {{{{Sonnet}}}

I'm so sorry for your loss :( Just take care of yourself, he would have wanted you to do that.

[Nex]

Total-stranger-hugs for you :hug:

Jeez... I don't know what to say. My heart goes out to you.

Make sure to take advantage of any support line you have, OK?

Total-stranger-hugs again :hug:

[Sonnet]

Thanks, everyone. Comfort and kindness is so, so appreciated.

The funeral was Saturday, we packed the apartment on Sunday, took a couple of days to not deal with it directly, and cleaned it out today. That's a task I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. By tonight I can wipe the Easy-off out the oven, tell my sweet prince goodnight, and lock the door on this horrible thing.

I don't know what 'normal' life is, now, though.

[freemonkey]

Thanks, everyone. Comfort and kindness is so, so appreciated.

The funeral was Saturday, we packed the apartment on Sunday, took a couple of days to not deal with it directly, and cleaned it out today. That's a task I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. By tonight I can wipe the Easy-off out the oven, tell my sweet prince goodnight, and lock the door on this horrible thing.

I don't know what 'normal' life is, now, though.
What a difficult job that must have been, I'm sorry you had to do it. Did you two live together?

I know it sounds trite, but all you can do is live one day to the next. You'll begin to find "normal" bit by bit. :hug:

[viscousmemories]

I'm sorry Sonnet, but I'm really glad you're still here. For what it's worth I've never been able to figure out what 'normal' life is, but that hasn't stopped me from experimenting. :hug:

[lisarea]

Oh. Man.

I just now saw this thread.

I don't know what to say, either. My sister's boyfriend committed suicide when they were in their twenties, and if knowing this helps at all, she got through it and she's happy again. There's a whole world of stuff out there for you still, hard as it may be to fathom that right now.

Take care of yourself, and promise yourself, and us, that if you're ever feeling hopeless, you'll let someone help you through it.

[Sonnet]

What a difficult job that must have been, I'm sorry you had to do it. Did you two live together?

No. He lived in a studio apartment. The thing that made it so difficult, beyond the fact that we completely packed up and compartmentalized his entire life in less than 4 hours, is that he had pushed people away and stopped returning calls a while before, so no one found him for a week - in one room with the windows closed. So being in there is... well, horrible.

[One for Sorrow]

Oh Sonnet, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :(

[Sonnet]

Oh Sonnet, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :(

You know, it wasn't easy, but in a way I didn't mind. For thousands of years - longer, really - women have washed the bodies of their men. His body is gone, and his apartment... well, it was heaven there with him, and wiping it clean of him was somehow the last act of tenderness I could give him. I can't stroke his skin or take away the horror of his solitary death, but I can give him that.

[Beth]

I cannot begin to express my sympathy for you. But what you said about the washing was so tender. You loved him dearly. Try to know that it wasn't you. Stay strong, try to take care of yourself.

[Goliath]

I can't imagine what you're going through, Sonnet...I'm so sorry. I hope you got my PM...if there's anything else I can do, let me know.

[Petra]

But what you said about the washing was so tender.

Yes. Quite beautiful.


Sonnet, I'm pleased to hear you are coming to terms with his death, and are able to perform tasks that allow you some reflection and closure - even if those tasks are painful.

:hug:

[godfry n. glad]

Sonnet...

I'm sorry to hear the news. You have my deepest condolences.

It sounds as though you've done all you can for him....Please, please, take care of yourself. If your support group does not include a professional counsellor, specifically someone familiar with grief, you might want to consider one. His death will probably leave psychic scars on you; try not to allow them to become disfiguring.

I doubt if there is anything I can do, but if you think of anything, ask.

godfry n. glad

[pescifish]

I'm glad these difficult yet simple acts have provided you some solace and closure. I hope that the pain is manageable and subsides in its time, quickly. Take care, {{{{Sonnet}}}}

[WinAce]

Yargh. Just, "yargh."

/me defers to everything everyone else has already said more eloquently

[Adora]

I am very sorry for your loss Sonnet.

[seebs]

You know, it wasn't easy, but in a way I didn't mind. For thousands of years - longer, really - women have washed the bodies of their men. His body is gone, and his apartment... well, it was heaven there with him, and wiping it clean of him was somehow the last act of tenderness I could give him. I can't stroke his skin or take away the horror of his solitary death, but I can give him that.

...

... That's beautiful. And sad, but... You have found something beautiful in it anyway. Wonderfully said.