Christmas on a very tight budget.

[Beth]

This year, we are in a situation where we have almost no money for Christmas. Suprisingly, I am not an emotional wreck over not being able to give the kids the things they want. They'll get some clothes because I had already bought a couple of outfits and a couple other gifts, but I know they will be upset because they will not get things they have asked for all year, like televisions to replace the ones destroyed by a lightening strike.

Anyway, I would like suggestions on how to make Christmas a good day for my kids without all the stuff they expect from Christmas. My kids see the day as mainly a materialistic get fest and this year I want to try to sway the attention from the materialistic side of the holiday and still have a very good day of us being a family.

[LadyShea]

It's a little late now, but maybe for future Christmases you can start a tradition that all gifts must be handmade.

Perhaps you, as a family, can volunteer this year....there are usually many opportunities in any community from homeless shelters to children's homes to old age homes. That might show your kids how good they really have it even without a bunch of luxury items. Or, make some homemade goodies (make sure the kids help) go caroling and give each of your neighbors one of the goody bags. I liked Helen's ideas of homemade ornaments so edited to add that here...a little ornament for your mailman, neighbors, paper delivery person, etc.

You might also write up some kind of "family vow" about supporting each other no matter the ups and downs. Like you, my parents owned their own businesses when I was growing up. Some years were good and we got to take trips and buy nice things....some years were bad and we all had to tighten our belts and do without some luxuries...but we were all in it together and didn't complain.

Try giving each kid a special responsibility such as preparing and serving a special dish, selecting and monitoring the music, reading "A Christmas Carol" or "Gift of the Magi" or some other holiday story not revovling around materialism, putting on a little skit maybe.

Best of luck, please let us know what you decide.

[HelenM]

I like looking at Christmas decorations - that's a free thing you can do in the run-up to Christmas.

On Sunday Esther and I went with her church girl's group to sing carols (we were the musicians for the group - I played piano, Esther violin) at a children's home near the church. The group also took Christmas tree ornaments they'd made for the children and gave them one each for the home's tree.

Doing something for people less fortunate than you can help get the focus off how many presents you're getting at Christmas and it's fun when you see how appreciative those people are.

Those are some suggestions, anyway...

Do your children understand that you can't afford to spend a lot at Christmas this year? If not then perhaps it's important for them to learn that money doesn't grow on trees and gifts have to be paid for by someone. I really hope my kids don't grow up thinking that happiness comes from possessions.

Having said that I completely understand the feeling of wanting to make Christmas special for your children.

Maybe if you search the Internet you can get some ideas for "Christmas on a budget" from websites.

Helen

p.s I like the idea of handmade gifts; also, you could have a "let's see what the best present we can find Dad for $10, or $5 is" competition with you and them when they're off school and he's working, to help them apply the idea of a budget. (I guess you'd have to let them choose one each so as to avoid fighting - thinking of my kids, anyway...:P)

[wildernesse]

I always loved being outside with my family--still do, in fact. If the weather is nice, you could take an afternoon trip to a state park and take a walk as a family.

One thing that always seemed like a holiday thing to me was putting puzzles together--it wasn't uncommon to get a puzzle for Christmas, and most of the time it was a group activity putting it together.

It's taken me like an hour to write three sentences--that's kind of pitiful. I think probably anything you decide to do as a family together would be something special for your kids.

[Beth]

We used to do the volunteering when my son was a cub scout and I was a scout leader. We just got away from that. Maybe I could call homes next week, maybe bake snickerdoodles for some of the elderly in a local nursing home. I like the idea of vistiting sick kids in the hospital, but I really never have done that. I don't even have the spare money to make little stuffed dolls for them or anything right now, but maybe I can call someone in thechildren's ward to see if there is something we can actually do. I do know that this would have to be during the week because my husband is not really into volunteering. He is too tired from work, but appreciates it when I do it, so it would not be a whole family enterprise.

I also thought of collecting pinecones and coating them with peanut butter and rolling them in birdseed. That is inexpensive and it is a gift for the birds and squirrels. I also thought about us making the dogs and cats treats for Christmas. The kids always insist the animals get a gift and love doing things for the wils animals around here.

I also thought about them helping me with Christmas dinner that way they can be occupied and feel a sense of togetherness. That is one thing that is still in budget because the leftovers will feed us for several days. I am normally like Granny Clampett in the Beverly Hillbillies, chasing people out of my kitchen. The kids always consider it fun when I do let them cook or bake. I also plan on us doing the Christmas cookies while they are out of school.

Looking at decorations is a good suggestion, we have one home in the area that does a huge display and opens the grounds up to walk through, even does a train ride for the kids. And I think A Christmas Carol is a great idea we could read that during the evenings leading up to Christmas.

The kids know about the situation. They have learned this year that they have to take good care of things, including things like shoes because they are not easily replaced. Because of this, their lists were rather practical this year. Anyway, they will get a few nice things from the grandparents, but it won't be from mom and dad.

The biggest plus I can think is that I am not worried. I simply have to let the rest of the family understand we cannot get anything for them this year, including nieces and nephews. I am not stressed about what will not be under the tree. Last year I was a basket case. I worried, cried when I did the budget- my hubby was out of work while waiting for his license. I was stressed and an emotional wreck existing on nerve pills to make it through. I am hoping the kids see my attitude as an example. It really would be nice to make the holiday less materialistic from here on, even when times are good.

Thanks for the suggestions!

[lisarea]

We used to do a 'cookie party' in the week or so leading up to Christmas. We'd invite family or friends if they were interested, get all the stuff we'd need, and make a dozen or so different types of cookies. Gingerbread men, pfeffernusse, jelly cookies, molasses cookies, stuff like that. I'd make a point to have several different kinds that needed decorating, both so the Little Muffin would have something to do, and just so it'd be prettier looking.

We'd end up with an obscene amount of cookies, of course, but we'd give some of them out, and we just made a point to eat a lot of cookies.

You could also try making candy canes or taffy or something else that's fun to make and they can help with. (Except that I haven't figured out how to make hard candy without burning my hands, so you should ask a smart guy how to do it. The ODB and I both ended up with huge, painful blisters all over our hands last year, and he gave me the hairiest eyeball when I mentioned homemade candy canes this year.)

Also, I tended to focus on stocking stuffers for him, too. He usually ended up getting pretty much stuff, largely because he was the only kid in my family, and almost none of my friends had kids, but the stocking stuffer things really kind of filled it out. He didn't have much of a sweet tooth, and I didn't want him having too much sweets, so he'd get things like cheap little toys, bath stuff (he was always a bit of a dandy, so he loved getting bath salts and oils and fancy soaps), nuts, those little Laughing Cow cheeses, and things like that. It gave him lots of stuff to open. He almost never got anything really big, like electronics and stuff, until he got older. Maybe if you keep them busy with lots and lots of little things, it'll distract them from the bigger stuff and make the whole thing seem a little more bountiful, you know?

Do they give each other presents? I think that helps a little, too, to get them focusing on the giving side of the equation early on. They could make each other stuff, or just get a small allowance for gift-buying. Most kids seem to like watching someone else open something they gave them almost as much as they like opening their own gifts, so that kind of stretches the enjoyment for your budget, too.

[HelenM]

We used to do the volunteering when my son was a cub scout and I was a scout leader. We just got away from that. Maybe I could call homes next week, maybe bake snickerdoodles for some of the elderly in a local nursing home. I like the idea of vistiting sick kids in the hospital, but I really never have done that. I don't even have the spare money to make little stuffed dolls for them or anything right now, but maybe I can call someone in thechildren's ward to see if there is something we can actually do. I do know that this would have to be during the week because my husband is not really into volunteering. He is too tired from work, but appreciates it when I do it, so it would not be a whole family enterprise.

If he likes you doing it then I think the time you do have all together will be enhanced because he will be pleased with you - so I think it will have family benefits. Also, if your children enjoy it and he doesn't, doing it while he's at work makes most sense.

I also thought of collecting pinecones and coating them with peanut butter and rolling them in birdseed. That is inexpensive and it is a gift for the birds and squirrels. I also thought about us making the dogs and cats treats for Christmas. The kids always insist the animals get a gift and love doing things for the wils animals around here.

I also thought about them helping me with Christmas dinner that way they can be occupied and feel a sense of togetherness. That is one thing that is still in budget because the leftovers will feed us for several days. I am normally like Granny Clampett in the Beverly Hillbillies, chasing people out of my kitchen. The kids always consider it fun when I do let them cook or bake. I also plan on us doing the Christmas cookies while they are out of school.

Those all sound like great ideas, Beth :)

Looking at decorations is a good suggestion, we have one home in the area that does a huge display and opens the grounds up to walk through, even does a train ride for the kids.

That's neat. The zoo closest to us has Christmas decorations every Christmas, including hundreds of Christmas trees decorated by children from local schools and scout troops. It's quite fun to go see them, except it can be rather cold :eek:

And I think A Christmas Carol is a great idea we could read that during the evenings leading up to Christmas.

Also, if you have a working TV & VCR then your library may have Christmas movies you can borrow free or for a minimal fee that you can watch together.

The kids know about the situation. They have learned this year that they have to take good care of things, including things like shoes because they are not easily replaced. Because of this, their lists were rather practical this year. Anyway, they will get a few nice things from the grandparents, but it won't be from mom and dad.

It's good that they know and it sounds like they're trying to respect your budget.

The biggest plus I can think is that I am not worried. I simply have to let the rest of the family understand we cannot get anything for them this year, including nieces and nephews. I am not stressed about what will not be under the tree. Last year I was a basket case. I worried, cried when I did the budget- my hubby was out of work while waiting for his license. I was stressed and an emotional wreck existing on nerve pills to make it through. I am hoping the kids see my attitude as an example. It really would be nice to make the holiday less materialistic from here on, even when times are good.

I'm very glad this is not stressing you out, Beth. It must be wonderful for you to look back and see that you're doing better than a year ago. I'm happy because last week was my fourth anniversary since the peak of my last episode (of mental illness); it's wonderful to compare and know that I'm nowhere near the state I was in then.

Thanks for the suggestions!

This might be turn out to be one of your best Christmases ever, if you and the children (and your husband, when he's around) do some fun things together.

Helen

[Beth]

Helen, thank you for your remarks and replies. I don't really feel proud of myself versus last year. I am better now versus this exact time last year, but am sorely ashamed of all that recently transpired.

[seebs]

My family is doing this. Here is what I am getting everyone for Christmas: "You don't have to go shopping on my account."

Everyone knows my accounts receivable is about 70% of my expected annual income right now, and no one's expecting me to buy anything anyway.

Kids are harder, because they don't exactly understand.

What state are you in? Maybe we have someone in the state who can help out somehow. Like, say, if you're in MN, I could get you a couple of crappy color TVs, free; our old roommate left one.

[HelenM]

Helen, thank you for your remarks and replies. I don't really feel proud of myself versus last year. I am better now versus this exact time last year, but am sorely ashamed of all that recently transpired.

Hi Beth,

I think everyone has cycles of "three steps forward, two back" - it's very helpful to remember that that adds up to one step forward, even though there were some steps back along the way.

On the radio the other day I heard this: if you do well for 90 days then mess up, you start again at day 91, not day 1. Don't discount the 90 good days before you messed up. I thought that was good too.

Helen