I'm going in.

[D. Scarlatti]

Tomorrow I plan to replace the fuel pressure damper on my BMW, which has been pissing gasoline for several weeks. If I'm not back by sunset, send a search party. I'm not much of a mechanic, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a flat screwdriver.

[BDS]

Good luck! When I coached 3rd grade basketball, Arman, my power forward from Israel who was the worst player on the team, used to announce, "I'm going in" every time he entered the lane, with or without the ball.

[D. Scarlatti]

Haha. Thanks.

I'm just grateful that the fuel pump (and the fuel pressure damper) isn't inside the fuel tank, as it is on some similar models. Then I'd be gone for a year at least.

[livius drusus]

Have you read the manual?

[D. Scarlatti]

The Bentley and the Haynes. Although neither of them mention the fuel pressure damper, they discuss the fuel pressure regulator, which is what I thought it was in the first place. But the internets set me straight on that account.

[livius drusus]

George Jefferson's British neighbor and a pair of tighty-wighties?

[D. Scarlatti]

That's the ones. Plus I borrowed the manuals from the library, so, all told, I'm hoping to deprive the BMW maintenance industry of about 500 bucks worth of lost business (the part cost 40 bucks online).

[livius drusus]

I'm behind you all the way. :cheer:

* livius drusus is on a do-it-yourself kick.

[D. Scarlatti]

That's good, because I may need you to sit in the back seat with a couple of bowling balls while I adjust the aim of the headlights (my next project, and a fairly complicated business, from what I understand).

[livius drusus]

:giggles:

[California Tanker]

I feel for you, mate.

About six months ago, I decided to go change my brakes on my own. A simple process, actually, though it did take a couple of trips to the hardware store to get all the right tools, and a few trips to the Interweb to figure out where I was going wrong. I did buy one of the DIY books to help, with all the handy photos.

The one that utterly killed me was changing my battery last month, which I mentioned on another thread. This turned into changing the battery cable, which itself degenerated into a 'Let's drive to the next town, stop off at Household 6's father-in-law's place, pick up jacks and props and then spend half the day on the back under the car trying to figure out how the hell to unscrew that one bolt which is located in the most inaccessible place on the car'

I should add, I'm very nervous when under a propped-up vehicle.

Only good news is that overall, I must have saved the better part of a grand between the two incidents.

NTM

[D. Scarlatti]

Brakes. No thanks, not in a million years.

[viscousmemories]

Good luck! I replaced a clutch cable myself once, now I pay mechanics.

[Dingfod]

I've done it all, from brakes to engine overhauls, from beating a bumper back into shape with a ballpeen hammer to changing tail light bulbs, mostly out of economic necessity. I now pay mechanics for anything more complicated than installing a fan belt. One reason I don't do mechanical work much any more is because I invariably hurt myself because I almost always lack the right tools to do the job right. I figure if I haven't lost some blood, I haven't done the job right. I'm tired of skinned knuckles and sore back muscles. I'm looking for a good mechanic now.

[viscousmemories]

One reason I don't do mechanical work much any more is because I invariably hurt myself because I almost always lack the right tools to do the job right.
Amen.

[Clutch Munny]

trying to figure out how the hell to unscrew that one bolt which is located in the most inaccessible place on the car'

Ah, you don't have the six-jointed arm with eyeballs on the ends of your fingers?

I once spent the better part of a day trying to remove then reinsert bolts for the alternator on a minivan.

[D. Scarlatti]

I admit that "replacing my fuel pressure damper" sounds more highfalutin than it really is. It involves loosening two hose clamps and replacing a small device, all of which are easily accessible right under the driver's side door. The tools required are one flat screwdriver, a rag, and a 50 cent aluminum baking pan to catch the fuel in the fuel line.

I just hope the device is tagged with the flow direction, otherwise I'll inevitably install it backwards.

[D. Scarlatti]

Well, sure enough, it isn't. Inlet and outlet must be interchangeable. I wonder what the hell the damn thing does. Warren? Bueller? Anyway, "I'm going in!"

[D. Scarlatti]

Leetle Bosch ...

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q249/dscarlatti/bmw01.jpg

... is back in bidness. Achtung, baby.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Pretty!! What's her name? Looks like a Vivian or an Elzebeta to me.

[D. Scarlatti]

Uh ... Leetle Bosch (until recently, "fucking shitbox").

[livius drusus]

Wow, that was fast. Well done, sir. :golfclap:

[D. Scarlatti]

Not really. The gear clamps were so seized with rust, the screwdriver stripped the heads of the fasteners. I had to soak them down with WD-40, and take a trip to Advance Auto Parts for replacements. I also ended up replacing a length of hose, because the fuel pressure damper itself was so rusted out, it actually broke apart, leaving the hose barb connections inside the hose, clamped by a seized-up, rusty clamp. I managed to get one out, but decided to say to hell with the other one.

Thanks for the :golfclap: though!

[California Tanker]

I had to soak them down with WD-40,

Can I call it, or can I call it?

NTM

[D. Scarlatti]

Yep, that shit is magic. I showed the auto parts guy the old length of hose, with the barb inside, and the rusted clamp around it. I told him I had one more exactly like it still attached to the fuel pump and I asked him if he figured WD-40 would do the trick, and he said, "No way." He was wrong.

[livius drusus]

It takes masking tape residue off windows in a second flat, too.

[viscousmemories]

The fantasy:

It involves loosening two hose clamps and replacing a small device, all of which are easily accessible right under the driver's side door.

...and the reality:

The gear clamps were so seized with rust, the screwdriver stripped the heads of the fasteners. I had to soak them down with WD-40, and take a trip to Advance Auto Parts for replacements. I also ended up replacing a length of hose, because the fuel pressure damper itself was so rusted out, it actually broke apart, leaving the hose barb connections inside the hose, clamped by a seized-up, rusty clamp. I managed to get one out, but decided to say to hell with the other one.

:D

That's exactly why I hate doing car repairs.

[Pinecone]

The rusty bits are better than banging a wrench on something, that caused a spark and you and bucket-o-bolts go up in a ball of flame!
Toxic gas fume flame to boot, so we couldn't even of chased you around trying to roast marshmallows on you whilst you did the drop-n-roll.

Congrats on the fix!