...or I'll kill you.

[viscousmemories]

I'm sick of all the "finish this sentence" threads, so here's a start this sentence thread. :P

[Kyuss Apollo]

Don't even look at me...


...and that's when she said "Are you finished?"

[Dingfod]

Back off the finish the sentence threads ...

[Crumb]

Back off the finish the sentence threads ... and that's when she said "Are you finished?"
:nuhuh:

[livius drusus]

Stop confusing me with your sentence fragments ... :shakefist:

[Kyuss Apollo]

Bollocks!

[Plant Woman]

She cried out in frustration . . .

. . . but that was last night.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

I have a toothpick ...

... which is a bit of information not worth writing this sentence about.

[Plant Woman]

I think therefore I am; . . .

. . . broke into a hundred fragments.

[Kyuss Apollo]

I dropped my glass onion and it ...


. . . so I'll just put on my pants now.

[Crumb]

I'm done screwing the pooch ...

... but you must never speak of it again.

[Artemis Entreri]

I really enjoyed it,


...is bleeding profusely.

[Kyuss Apollo]

My abacination...


...is a four-letter word.

[Crumb]

Four ...

... will never forgive you.

[Kyuss Apollo]

The girl in the Easter Bunny costume...


...before the Emperor sees you!

[Plant Woman]

Wipe the smile off your face . . .

. . . second rate at best.

[Dingfod]

Pirates of the Caribbean is ...


... and then I laughed out loud.

[Plant Woman]

I ripped the cover off the ancient book. . .

. . . I thought it's just too many.

[Dingfod]

Seeing Pirates 3 once was okay, twice ...


... she could never leave.

[Plant Woman]

He said, "Welcome to the Hotel California where . . .

. . . while sitting on the bus.

[Crumb]

I :glare:ed ...

... and then he died.

[Plant Woman]

He made a giant leap across the canyon; looking back he realized the enormous accomplishment. . .

. . . just plain fickle.

[Dingfod]

She was being difficult when trying on clothes because she's ...



... the last one on the shelf.

[Kyuss Apollo]

After licking the cookie she put it back because it was. . .


. . .on a pile of horse manure.

[Crumb]

After licking the cookie she put it back because it was ...

... dried and sealed.

[Dingfod]

There was no reason to worry because the manure was ...



... under the fifteen-second rule.

[Plant Woman]

It's almost impossible to abort a mission. . .

. . . the dog and cat, under his spell.

[Sock Puppet]

His sexy cologne mesmerized ...


... just trying to put the cork back.

[Plant Woman]

Quit staring at me; after all, I'm

. . . canned it.

[Dingfod]

I had no idea what it was, then, right along with the pickles and peppers, I ...


... laughed his ass right off.

[viscousmemories]

At first he thought "They'll dance to anything", and then he...

...right smack in the middle of his forehead.

[Dingfod]

In a moment of deadly irony, as a result of the collision with a scrap metal truck, the vegetable juice salesman was hit with a V-8 engine ...


... lost in space.

[viscousmemories]

He thought he was behind the times, but he was actually ...

... and then she ate it.

[Plant Woman]

She stared at the triple decker ice cream cone, puffed her cheeks out, sighed . . .

. . . within a fraction of a second.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Coitus interruptus has to be timed to. . .


...and now he would never get his pen back.

[mindbender]

As I peered into the canyon, the writing utensil slipped from my hands ...

... and now I can pee standing up.

[viscousmemories]

I bought some rubber shoes ...

... and then a fly landed right in the middle of it.

[mindbender]

I prepared a mouth-watering feast ...

... and that's when I decided to laminate my testicles!

(I stole this *odd* random saying from a friend of mine, also a girl!)

[Plant Woman]

She turned me down for the hundredth time . . .

. . . walked in the manner of ordinary mortals.

[Dingfod]

He assured everyone he was Superman but he always ...



... ended up in a heap at the end of the runway.

[Plant Woman]

Just as an iceberg caused the sinking of the Titanic, the new jet hit a small aircraft during take off and . . .

. . . from now on.

[mindbender]

I promise to take you for granted ...

... but it didn't mean much.

[Plant Woman]

I whispered an apology into his ear . . .

. . . unfortunately forgotten.

[Sock Puppet]

My previous advice not to use steel wool as earplugs was ...


... but the egg cracked anyway.

[Dingfod]

I was as careful as I could be packing my lunch, ...


... smelled like rancid goat cheese.

[mindbender]

After receiving anal sex from a sweaty hobo, my ass ...

... but the offer was no longer any good.

[Dingfod]

I found my lost free airline ticket voucher ...



... no better than the paper they were printed on.

[Plant Woman]

White man's treaties were . . .

. . . put down the fork.

[Dingfod]

This is the Diet Police, "Spit out that food and ... "


... utterly disgusting display.

[Kyuss Apollo]

We would like to extend our deepest thanks and appreciation to the National Republican Party for that...


. . .and that's when I couldn't find my pants" answered Gandalf lamely.

[Dingfod]

"Cops pulled me over, said I was speeding. 'No way', I said because Shadowfax is but a horse ..."


... and so it was written.

[Sock Puppet]

"It'd be funny if we put something off-the-wall in there, like forbidding shellfish or something," Moses said ...


... but nobody was surprised more than the chicken.

[Dingfod]

We invited the Olsens over for chicken dinner, ...


... it was the end of it all.

[Plant Woman]

You knew when you brought the chicken into the conversation that . . .

. . . just an obstacle course.

[Kyuss Apollo]

A wedding reception is really. . .


. . .so you can just walk home!

[Dingfod]

Live close to work ...


... come as you are.

[Plant Woman]

Even if you're snowshoeing in the high country . . .

. . . were arrested by the police for obstruction.

[Dingfod]

The people responsible for clogging the drain ...



I meant to switch to a new brand of ...

[Plant Woman]

. . . Brand X, but they were all out of it and Generic Y.

. . . will you move to New Jersey?

[Johnny Pneumatic]

The family and I went to Disney World . . .

. . . and that's when I woke up with dried blood caked in my hair.

[Kyuss Apollo]

The last thing I remember was someone yelling "No running in the abattoir!" . . .


. . .and now the duck is completely wedged in the saxophone.

[Sock Puppet]

Ignoring the warnings about Kyuss's wild parties, I accepted the gig ...


... when Keanu got the part.

[Plant Woman]

It was a day of mourning . . .

. . . but I am serious!

[Johnny Pneumatic]

So I suggested we all go out for ice cream. . .

. . . and Shamu's bisected body turned the water red.

[Dingfod]

Shamu was thought to be the best swordsman in Japan, but he went up against his better in a reflecting pool ...


... love will keep us together.

[mindbender]

As he looked down at his collection of toenail clippings, he uttered ...

... or else I'll pull out the plug.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Don't lapse into a persistent vegetative state. . .


. . .is not very nice at all.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

So I was debating with a Fundamentalist about flaws in the Bible. . .

. . . and that's why you should never use a penis pump on a horse.

[Dingfod]

It ended up so long it was dragging in the dirt, leading to serious infections, resulting in amputation, ...


... then it squirted me right in the face.

[Kyuss Apollo]

I knelt down to peer closer at her breast and. . .


. . .right after after the Slayer concert.

[Dingfod]

The police found the groupie splayed out on the sofa, deader than a hammer, ...



... and then gathered up his tools and left.

[mindbender]

He took his time murdering the groupie ...

... and that, my friends, is why you should never light your farts on fire.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

The burn victim awoke in the hospital to find. . .

. . . the thing's hollow, it goes on forever, and oh... my God, it's full of stars!

[Dingfod]

When we opened up the door we found ...



... those were the least of our worries.

[Crumb]

We were born with no buttocks and our brains on the outside of our heads, but ...

... good enough for government work.

[Dingfod]

Who cares if there are parts left over, shut the hood, it's ...



... never let them get you down.

[Plant Woman]

Teenagers, even when they look at you like you're an alien . . .

. . . I really meant to say that.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Postmodernists really love to speak in an obfuscating manner . . .

. . . and that's when the dominatrix put the gag in my mouth.

[Kyuss Apollo]

I strode boldly into the Oval Office, ready to speak truth to power. . .


. . .and then she spit it out.

[Dingfod]

She tasted coffee for the first time ...



... didn't want to be the last one of the block to own one.

[Plant Woman]

I dumped it over a cliff because I . . .

. . . keep only the originals.

[Dingfod]

Remember, destroy all copies of this tape and ...



... it'll be the last thing you ever do.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Try to destroy a neutronium-hulled planet-killer with just phasers and. . .


. . .another day of my life.

[Plant Woman]

Tripping over logs and skipping rope it's just . . .

. . . a problem under glass.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

It's always funny until . . .

. . . and I never saw her again.

[Dingfod]

She drove away in my new Corvette ...



... way too sexy.

[Plant Woman]

I put away my shirt, cuz I'm . . .

. . . then she awoke.

[Dingfod]

She dreamed the guy groping her was Johnny Depp, but ...



... too damn hot.

[Plant Woman]

I love my sun room but in summer it's . . .

. . . it was everything but noteworthy.

[Dingfod]

I enjoyed the meal she cooked for me, but ...



... please turn out the lights.

[Plant Woman]

In the seventies a billboard in Seattle read: will the last one to leave . . .

. . . but no thanks.

[Dingfod]

Thanks for the offer of a cup of coffee, ...



... rolling all the way down the hill.

[Plant Woman]

I remembered that I forgot to put the automatic transmission in park when I saw the truck...

. . . canned for later use.

[Dingfod]

I looked all over but couldn't find the urine I ...



... as usual, I was the one left holding the bag.

[Kyuss Apollo]

When the cops came looking for the bag full of heads,


. . .has an old crust of peanut butter around it.

[Plant Woman]

Ew, that mayonnaise jar . . .

. . . saving energy and materials.

[Dingfod]

I built my house out of styrofoam peanuts, ...



... it was the tallest thing around.

[Plant Woman]

Amazingly the pizza box tower stayed upright,

. . . the search for perfection.

[Dingfod]

I always fail in my ...


... was the most stingy human being this side of the pre-reformed Ebenezer Scrooge.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Before I converted to the Church of the Eternal Baal-Lucifer, I...


Now I help little old ladies to. . .

[Dingfod]

... push Boy Scouts under a bus.



Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell was quite a well-known ...

[Plant Woman]

A man with an absurdly long name, . . .

. . . a nice, clean look.

[Dingfod]

Boy Scouts are expected to maintain ...


... but I didn't mean to delete it.

[Plant Woman]

I'm sorry honey, I knew that was your computer equivalent to a "little black book" . . .

. . . so you better back up quickly.

[Dingfod]

There's a skunk in that bush right in front of you, ...



... is the only way to remove the stench.

[Crumb]

Motor oil ...



... but no one ever believes me.

[Dingfod]

I'm really not a bible salesman, ...



... and there stood a pair of door-to-door missionaries.

[mindbender]

I opened my door ...

... because you're not getting any younger.

[Plant Woman]

Sometimes it's fun to act like a child, . . .

Farming used to be the . . .

[Dingfod]

... way of life for most Americans, but that ended when farms began to mechanize.


One day robots will do all of the ...

[Plant Woman]

deer hunting and singing in the choir at church.

Lost in the crowd . . .

[Dingfod]

... of robots I hid by mimicking their behavior, only an expert could've told the difference.


Hot dogs, apple pie, and ...

[mindbender]

... other picnic food were plentiful.

(Damn it, you're supposed to supply the end of the sentence in this thread)

... because of an accident with a pocket knife.

[Kyuss Apollo]

. . .watersports and S&M we don't have the time for.

[:doh:we keep getting this format confused with "Complete my thought!"]


. . .just didn't have the wherewithal to fix all that bondage equipment.

[Dingfod]

... other picnic food were plentiful.

(Damn it, you're supposed to supply the end of the sentence in this thread)Oh, snap.

[Dingfod]

[:doh:we keep getting this format confused with "Complete my thought!"]It's mainly me.

[Kyuss Apollo]

One leg was much shorter than the other...


. . .just didn't have the wherewithal to fix all that bondage equipment.

[Dingfod]

Sometimes it's fun to act like a child, . . .

Farming used to be the . . .Or not!!!

[Dingfod]

One leg was much shorter than the other...


. . .just didn't have the wherewithal to fix all that bondage equipment.Being trussed up like a turkey at Thanksgiving, he ...



... once again, he was sweating blood.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Sometimes it's fun to act like a child, . . .

Farming used to be the . . .Or not!!!

Not you OR Plant Woman--this (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=393062&postcount=100) fuck-up of mine was back on page 4... :doh:

[Kyuss Apollo]

We need a "talk" page for this thread, lol...

[Plant Woman]

... once again, he was sweating blood.

He woke up from his sleepwalk, found himself sauntering down a freeway and . . .

. . . this isn't much of a concession.

We can talk behind the spoiler curtain, Kyuss, or have a separate thread.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Just wearing a blindfold while doing. . .


. . .so it gets covered with a thin film of fish flakes.


okee-dokey, talking behind the curtain sounds kind of...like there's less clothes involved than a talk thread :nudge:

[Dingfod]

To feed the goldfish just sprinkle a few pinches of their food on their water ...



... just climb on board.

[Kyuss Apollo]

We're going off the rails on a crazy train, ...


...because "jazz-hands" would be too stock.

[Dingfod]

Okay, we're using "rockabilly-hands" in this number ...



... dashed upon the rocks.

[Sock Puppet]

On washday, her rosy fantasies about living a Victorian lifestyle were ...


... but just then, the bear woke up.

[Kyuss Apollo]

The camera was set up and the low bodice evening dress with the violet promenade jacket was almost in place...



. . .but the pen fell out his pocket and ruined everything.

[Plant Woman]

He swore that without exception, he always levitates his writing utensils,

. . . I hear the siren call.

[Kyuss Apollo]

I throw myself headlong off the bow and die on the terrible rocks below when. . .


. . .and feed it to the frogs.

[Plant Woman]

Take the live bug off the sticky trap. . .

. . . on the west coast.

[Dingfod]

The local news is on at 10 P.M. Mountain Time and typically 11:00 PM ...


... but I'll be damned if I know.

[Sock Puppet]

There's got to be a way to sell your soul to the Devil ...


... but when I woke up, my wallet was missing.

[Plant Woman]

I was drunk, but I remember paying the cab fare. . .

. . . then I laughed.

[Dingfod]

I snuck up behind them in the dark, ...



... was a deep dark secret.

[Kyuss Apollo]

The contents of Clouseau's secret hidden pocket. . .


...and we just gave in to the rhythm of the congas.

[Plant Woman]

We watched them dance like fireflies all around us . . .

, , , drooping gracefully.

[Dingfod]

The tree branches, covered in thousands of migrating monarch butterflies were ...



... hotter than a two-dollar pistol.

[Plant Woman]

She tucked the money in her pocket, her fingers lingered around the folded wad that felt . . .

. . . seeped into the ground.

Nice visual on the butterflies, Dingfod!

[Dingfod]

The backwoods mechanic dumped the used motor oil on the ground and didn't even watch as it slowly ...


... bought and paid for, cash money.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Now sheriff, those there carcasses were...


...wash off the smell of elderberries.

[Dingfod]

Nothing but skunk spray can ...




... not to mention tomato juice.

[Sock Puppet]

The young lovers got "creative" with many liquids, including whipped cream and cream of mushroom soup ...


... but that was before he learned to read.

[Dingfod]

George used to stumble and stutter in front of the camera even with the teleprompters ...



... then I told him to hit me one more time.

[Plant Woman]

"Sock it to me," I said when I looked up at the card dealer's puzzled face . . .

. . . that's when I turn green.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Standing under the traffic signal first I bask in yellow then I'm red. After red...


...just lay down and take your medicine.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Hey Cancer Boy! Stop whistling and. . .

http://www.emptyfree.com/img/cboy.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_Candy#Controversy)

...is just in real poor taste.

[Plant Woman]

Emily Post looks for things that are not polite and that . . .

. . . down at the farm by the river.

[Kyuss Apollo]

That's some mighty fine hemp growing. . .


. . .and then put your pants back on.

[Plant Woman]

Bend over, turn your head sideways and cough . . .

. . . the whole shovelful.

[Dingfod]

I love Cap'n Crunch cereal so much I eat it by ...



... was the worst day of my life.

[beyelzu]

The day i learned how to masturbate with sandpaper......


.... and goddamn huckleberry hound

[Dingfod]

I dreamed I was in bed with Snagglepuss...




... then I woke up in a tub of ice with a note taped to my chest telling me to call 911 because I was missing my kidneys.


Exit, stage left already.

[beyelzu]

i was on a date with ding and told him i just wanted to be friends......


..........and thats why i cry myself to sleep at night

[Dingfod]

My mom went out on a date with Ding, ...




... so I left for what I thought would be an epic adventure.

[beyelzu]

when my parents were killed by a mugger and i was struck by lightning while working in my lab i was sure i would develop super powers........


......and thats how i destroyed the world.

[Dingfod]

Theirs was a very small world, I accidently sat on it ...




... then I lost my train of thought.

[Plant Woman]

I turned just in time to see the president's smirk like he knew he was entitled . . .

. . . impeachment is the only thing on his mind.

[beyelzu]

Lisarea is good people but.... :tmtongue:


.....but the book was musty and mildewed and the illustrations were lacking.

[Kyuss Apollo]

I finally got my hands on a copy of Calvin Coolidge's 69 Favorite Sexual Positions...


...and woke up to find "I passed out in a bar in Detroit" written in black sharpie across his forehead.

[Plant Woman]

Mel Gibson went on another drinking binge soon after his infamous binge. . .

. . . he spit it out.

[beyelzu]

When bey was told that monkey testicles werent kosher......


..... in english please.

[Dingfod]

I prefer my instructions to assemble my kid's bicycle with training wheels be ...




... uncoupled the cars, leaving them on the siding near the depot.

[Plant Woman]

Not completely understanding the rest of this sentences, he . . .

. . . railroad crossing, look out!

[Kyuss Apollo]

The world's largest box of styrofoam peanuts is sitting on the...


...and flipped into the Grand Canyon.

[Dingfod]

In his last stunt ever, Evel Knievel missed the ramp at 250 mph ...



... then jumped though the space-time portal.

[Kyuss Apollo]

He took one last look at Hitler __________ing a donkey. . .


. . .and then said, "Want a cookie?"

[Dingfod]

The old creepy looking neighbor guy drove up beside the little girl walking down the street ...



... as if that wasn't enough, she kicked his ass using her martial arts skills.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Fluent in Latin, Greek, Arabic, Hindi, and Norwegian, she first insulted his ancestors in 5 different languages and...


. . ."so just get me out of here already!"

[Plant Woman]

Dad looked at me and my group of giggling ten year old friends,

. . . following a slow tractor down a busy highway.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Aquaman's skin totally dried out while. . .


. . .like some beached whales laying in the afternoon sunshine.

[beyelzu]

my balls look like.....

......wanted to kill spider man so fucking badly.

[Kyuss Apollo]

I don't know why Adam Sandler. . .


. . .watch him fry in the chair.

[beyelzu]

Since i couldnt right the horrible injustice of Kenneth Foster's execution, i decided to........


.....and that is how a bill becomes a law.

[Brimshack]

After handing the cash to the Senator's Aid, Ralph turned to his assistant and said...

...was awfully friendly with his livestock.

[beyelzu]

brimshack....

.....thats how i welcomed brimshack back to ff.

:tmgrin:

[Brimshack]

I lulled...

...isn't quite the same thing as dancing naked down main street

[Kyuss Apollo]

A proctologist exam. . .


...thank you every much.

[mindbender]

Elvis said ...

... and it was then that he looked at me as if I were from another planet.

[Plant Woman]

I crawled up into the attack and threw down a musty smelling box of clothes from my hippy days; . .

She claims that sugar is . . .

[mindbender]

... an aphrodisiac.

... but that didn't make any sense.

[Dingfod]

It's a good thing mindbender straightened out this thread because PW's post was interesting ...



... and all could think of was chopping broccoli.

[Kyuss Apollo]

As he kissed the green woman on Star Trek...


. . .but they never gave him back his golf cart.

[Dingfod]

One accident, after over 50 years playing golf at the Mudville Lake Links Golf and Tennis Country Club, the board decided to allow Alvin E. Ludlow to keep his membership ...


... would be the last time he ever saw her face.

[Plant Woman]

When she jumped into the Mercedes, squealed the tires as she gunned the engine he knew that ...

...I'll try to get this right.

[Dingfod]

The next time a woman moves in with me, then convinces me to give her all my money and the keys to my Mercedes, ...



... random access memory chips.

[Kyuss Apollo]

If only I could replace my addled wits with. . .


...Adam Sandler is up for the Nobel prize.

[Dingfod]

You know it's the end of the world when ...




The drill sargeant said I'm not fit to be the ...

[Plant Woman]

king of the hill, so stop shooting the ones below me.

... it was my turn.

[Dingfod]

I gladly let everyone give their speech before the commission before mine, then I began to shake uncontrollably because ...



... closed the shutters and barred the door.

[Plant Woman]

I could barely hear the dog's low growl; I immediately ...

...hid under the quilt.

[Kyuss Apollo]

My copy of War and Peace was. . .


. . .like a garbage can with a hard-on.

[Dingfod]

The hairy man-ape monster outside shook my trailerhouse ...



... we'd all have a Merry Xmas.

[inland wave]

If fishes were wishes




.....called it good.

[Plant Woman]

I slapped my thigh, gave the youngster a high-five and...

...enjoyed by tree-lovers.

[Sock Puppet]

Alas, my idea for eucalyptus-bark condoms would only be ...


... then why'd you leave it with me?

[inland wave]

If you thought I would drop it and break it then why'd you leave it with me?....

.......casue I said so damn it!!

[Plant Woman]

After asking me ten times why, I twirled around, looked him straight in the eye and yelled, "Cause I said so, damn it!"

...made me a nature lover.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Seeing her in all her natural beauty. . .


. . .will never work in a million years.

[beyelzu]

Bush's plan in Iraq........

...... made the moose charge me nostrils flairing

[Plant Woman]

My jumping up and down, arms flailing about in the air, snorting like a bull ready to give chase..... made the moose charge me, nostrils flaring.

...this anniversary; never again.

[Dingfod]

31 years together was marked by ...

(never again because the next one will be 32)



... dipped in a vat of hydrochloric acid, rinsed off, and sold again.

[Plant Woman]

I saw this before it was . . .

... my stomach all tied up in knots.

[Dingfod]

When I saw the rash caused by the cheap Chinese-made flip-flops, ...



... but talk is cheap.

[Plant Woman]

She stuck her tongue out at me after she stated . . .

. . . yet another road to travel down.

[Kyuss Apollo]

All any map shows is. . .


. . .better get out of the road!

[Plant Woman]

When granny's driving her canary yellow sports car you . . .

. . . it wasn't free.

[Kyuss Apollo]

That free seminar on the Florida time-share, . . .


. . .and my cheese cracker exploded.

[Plant Woman]

I pulled the wrapped food item out slowly as directed by the security guard; placed it carefully in his hand.

. . . aren't cute at all.

[Deadlokd]

And it turns out that while mice be cute alive, found under your son's bed in a box after being dead for eight days they just.....

.....and my falafel got wet.

[Plant Woman]

I took my lunch outside, stood in the pouring rain, I opened my mouth for the first bite...

. . . my how it's changed.

[Dingfod]

There used to be a full-service filling station on almost every streetcorner, ...



... after I wash that windshield?

[Kyuss Apollo]

So you're still going to park under the aviary...


. . .narrowly avoiding great gray and white streams of bird crap that filled the sky like sheets of dismal-looking acrylic paint.

[Dingfod]

He swerved his pristine Lamborghini Countach under as sidewalk awning, ...



... it was faster than anything we ever knew.

[Plant Woman]

When I was a kid we frequently heard sonic booms from a jet . . .

. . . it was poor assessment of my life.

[Dingfod]

I read my biography you wrote, ...




... would be more accurately described as in the wrong time at the wrong place.

[Plant Woman]

I always feel I am out of sync with the world but maybe it . . .

. . . every other day.

[Goliath]

If I had the time, I'd work out...

...and I felt overwhelmed.

[beyelzu]

The well of words dried up and I was left standing there, staring at you, ......


.....and strained my arm.

[Crumb]

I tried to make sense of this thread...

... but I was too slow.

[beyelzu]

And I ran, I ran so far away....

......as the icy truck turned the corner.

[Kyuss Apollo]

The avalanche hurtled down the enchanted mountainside and buried the road to a depth of 127 feet. . .


. . .so he let go of the wheel and yelled "YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAHHHH!"

[beyelzu]

He was feeling suicidal,........


........but the shotgun wasn't loaded.

[Goliath]

He earlier tried to commit suicide by blowing his head off with his father's shotgun,...

...the exam wasn't going well.

[Plant Woman]

He thought the psyche evaluation was fun, but his psychiatrist told him . . .

. . . it's just another day.

[beyelzu]

It has been a week since I last smoked, but....

.......the modem blew up.

[Dingfod]

I was right in the middle of downloading Muppet Treasure Island and ...



... took one look at me and ran away screaming.

[Plant Woman]

I came out of the river covered in black sludge with the scent of raw sewage surrounding me; the locals . . .

He insinuated that the smoldering . . .

[Dingfod]

... pile that used to be this thread was in fact, dead.



... but I've got news for him.

[Kyuss Apollo]

He thinks he is a thread killing sumbitch. . .

[wait PW...that was a "complete my thought!" :glare:]

:glomp2:


. . .is actually filled with live bear intestines.

[Plant Woman]

Oops! Sorry about that.

Can't take me anywhere

A grizzly's stomach . . .

. . . and he took out his wallet.

[Dingfod]

There sat the car of his dreams, gleaming brightly in the well-lit showroom window, Porsche 911 in "arrest me" red, so he walked through the door ...



... faster than a speeding bullet.

[Sock Puppet]

Supergirl got a bad reputation because she was ...


... so he just ate it.

[beyelzu]

He didnt know what to do with the nukleur bomb....


.....and that is how the world ends.

[Plant Woman]

Bush and Cheney have a wrestling match and accidentally fall on the doomsday button;

. . . making him a milksop.

[Dingfod]

Bush choking on another pretzel, washed it down with Cheney's glass of "milk" ...



... the last hope of mankind.

[Plant Woman]

Although your mileage may vary, peace is . . .

. . . is what you've become.

[Kyuss Apollo]

All the things you are. . .


. . .and promptly died laughing. :dielaugh:

[Plant Woman]

He was often too afraid to laugh, but when he saw the knife in the stranger's back, he let out a nervous chuckle as he bent over the body. . .

... are all the reasons I love autumn.

[Kyuss Apollo]

That it will be summer in 9 months. . .


. . .is just another reason why I love global warming.

[Plant Woman]

Suntanning on a late fall day...

... into the icy, blue water.

[Dingfod]

After the captain said a few words about him, his linen-wrapped carcass slipped from beneath the national colors and splashed ...



... so he took his ball and went home.

[Kyuss Apollo]

He was having trouble capturing the other team's signals and corresponding audio with a sideline camera. . .


. . .is even more comfortable than a grass skirt.

[Plant Woman]

Clothes made from bark cloth, called tapa . . .

. . . I planted them all.

[Dingfod]

My relatives were bugging the hell out of me until ...



... all I needed was my Swiss Army knife and a paperclip.

[Plant Woman]

I was a MacGyver wannabee . . .

. . . but she tells me a lot of things.

[Dingfod]

I normally don't listen to the voice in my head, ...



... needs to quit bothering me, I'm trying to sleep.

[Sock Puppet]

That damned fire alarm ...

... but at least the insurance settlement will be nice.

[Dingfod]

I may be in pain for the rest of my life ...



... went under the knife.

[Plant Woman]

My homemade bread sliced like soft butter when it . . .

. . . and the occasional musings.