What do you REALLY do?

[Shake]

IOW, what's a short description of your job based on what you actually do, regardless of title?

For example, my wife gets paid to have people yell at her -- she's a customer service rep. for a cell phone company.

And me? I get paid to do lots of little shit work that the engineers are either too lazy or unable to do -- I'm an engineering tech.

How 'bout the rest of you all?

[LadyShea]

Much like your wife I get paid to have people yell at me, ask stupid questions, or both. I also answer dozens of emails daily so part of my time is spent deciphering messages in the mess of terrible spelling and grammar and use of incorrect terms. I am a customer service manager for a unified communications company (virtual telco).

Bonus though, I can do this job in my sleep practically, and get to spend as much time surfing online as i want.

[lisarea]

IOW, what's a short description of your job based on what you actually do, regardless of title?

Is anyone else ever amazed at sheer volume excellent openings for a tersely worded "Your mom" you see on a regular basis?

I swear, I pass up thirty or forty of them every day.

Because I'm a grown-up and all.

[Dingfod]

I'm sure I've said this here before.

I get paid to sit in a chair in a climate controlled office 12 hours per shift, sometimes days, sometimes nights, surfing the internet and watching television while monitoring oil and gas production, gathering, processing and compression from Wyoming to 120 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico on six 21" LCD monitors. I say monitoring rather than controlling, which my job title implies, because I don't actually do much in the way of controlling anything. I take lots of calls from morons that don't know how to punch the right numbers on their phone when they are calling 1-877-NFL-SHOP, sometimes hundreds of calls per day (I can't wait for the Superbowl). I get to wake people up in the middle of the night sending them out in 40 degrees below weather. I also take calls from emergency agencies calling on behalf of morons that can't read signs that say "Buried Pipeline, call 1-888-IAM-DUMB before digging here." They might be the same sort of people that call me instead of the NFL Shop. At night, it's the same thing, only my chair is leaned back and my feet are on the desk.

[lady cop]

well i get paid to have people kick, spit, fight, bleed, bite, vomit, pee, defecate, and call me every filthy thing you can think of while simultaneously shooting at me or trying to stick a shank in my ribs. i, in turn, am cuffing, hobbling , knee-striking, tasing or spraying them. which all explains why i had a heart attack , myocardial infarction , on dec. 18. and had to have three stents inserted into my coronary arteries. next time i hear it will be the BIG one. :hearts: i will start a thread so as not to jack this one. but i had nice letter from Livius and some pms so i thought i should explain.

[livius drusus]

I repair grown men's broken toys while raging inwardly (and to anyone who'll listen) against the corporate machine.


(Welcome back to posting and non-hospital living, lady cop. :hug: )

[godfry n. glad]

I repair grown men's broken toys while raging inwardly (and to anyone who'll listen) against the corporate machine.


(Welcome back to posting and non-hospital living, lady cop. :hug: )

So... You're an SUV mechanic? Or, Cialis salesperson?

[godfry n. glad]

Amongst the meek and mild of the information resource extraction business, I am the one who the librarians assign the dirty tasks they don't want to do or can't do. Statistics, student employee wrangling, and, a fun one, serving as the library's counter-asshole (dealing with nasty patrons).

I have responsibility for collection fees and fines associated with lost or late library materials. Since much of my clientele are medical specialists and researchers, they tend to think that they are somehow "above all the rest" when it comes to paying overdue fines. I do the collecting... :heh: ...it's the favorite part of my job.

I like to consider myself "Conan the Librarian." Yeah, it's delusional, but fun.

godfry

[ceptimus]

I sit and watch the clock till it's time to go home. My Internet browsing is interrupted by occasional phone calls from salespeople asking me how we might make things and how long that will take. Also by people asking me to fix their computers.

Sometimes I have to talk to unfortunate people who were stupid enough to buy things from my company.

If I want, I can go and chat to my colleagues about how badly the company is organised and how we're all doomed. That topic is a bit old though.

The highlights of the day are:

1. Time to go home.

2. Lunch break - usually go for a walk.

3. Eating sandwiches - this should be near lunch time, but it varies, depending on my boredom level and willpower.

[seebs]

I learn how computers work and explain it so that people who aren't quite as familiar with a given aspect of computing can understand it.

So, I learn lots of stuff, and I teach lots of stuff. It's actually an ideal job, if only it paid!

[Ymir's blood]

well i get paid to have people kick, spit, fight, bleed, bite, vomit, pee, defecate, and call me every filthy thing you can think of ...
and you get paid for it? wow. :wink:

I will repost my 'job' description for those of you lucky enough to have missed it the first time (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=27261&postcount=94).

Short answer: As little as I can get away with.

Long answer: I work as an inspector for NCDOT. We administer contracts for road building and improvement projects. I work with the contractor's supervisory staff to make sure that the work is performed according to the plans and specifications. The job is a mix of record keeping, materials sampling and testing, alongside of a lot of observation.

In additon, I ride around a lot, read, sketch, listen to music and try to waste as much time as possible.

[bobeh]

Today I got in my car...drove a couple of hundred clicks, found a certain greenhouse/garden centre, talked to the owner for a few minutes, wandered around and took pictures of it, made a few notes, then went to find a place to buy some lunch. Then drove home. The boring part is tomorrow and later when I have to enter a bunch of stuff in some software with font so small I can't tell if I'm putting in one i or two (ii's). And at the end of the day I'll spend a couple of minutes figuring out how much I think said real estate is really worth...and that is supposedly what I get paid for.

[Zatarra]

Actually my real job is listed in my profile. I was just offered the position yesterday, so I don't know exactly what it will be like, but I am greatly looking forward to it! :mememe:

[David Gould]

I transcribe the words that politicians say and then try to translate them into readable English sentences. Sometimes I am even successful.

[Zoot]

I transcribe TV shows for deaf people to read on closed captions, and post on message boards.

[lady cop]

I transcribe TV shows for deaf people to read on closed captions, and post on message boards.
Zoot, i LOVE closed-captioning, i am not hearing-impaired,(well, actually just a bit in my left ear because of years of deep SCUBA diving) but it is so useful for many reasons besides the obvious...i just read whatever news i want to, ignore commercials, can speak on phone while reading, and i watch so much Brit BBC and PBS programming it's like translating service for the phrases i don't always get. further, when watching movies it gives you all lyrics and comments you may well miss. you perform a great service!

[Noodlenader]

I drive around and deliver benefits to members of credit/labor unions and associations. I get to make friends while I'm making money :) :)

[Zoot]

Zoot, i LOVE closed-captioning, i am not hearing-impaired,(well, actually just a bit in my left ear because of years of deep SCUBA diving) but it is so useful for many reasons besides the obvious...i just read whatever news i want to, ignore commercials, can speak on phone while reading, and i watch so much Brit BBC and PBS programming it's like translating service for the phrases i don't always get. further, when watching movies it gives you all lyrics and comments you may well miss. you perform a great service!

Yeah, it's pretty useful. It's also good for people learning English. It is a great service, but I have to say, when people tell me, "Wow, you do such a nice thing for people!" I have to respond, "Well, you know, I do get paid for it. It's a pretty sweet job."

Doing it in New Zealand is helpful for that thing about not always getting British phrases and stuff, cos we grow up here bombarded with both British and American television, and often understand accents that one or the other don't understand. Often we buy files from British or American captioning companies and get to enjoy the mishearings of Brits captioning Boston accents or Americans captioning Scottish accents.

[Gawen]

Water Wastewater Specialist.

I used to deal with the sewer system looking for I&I. That's Inflow and Infiltration of ground water into the sanitary wastewater system, including manholes. But the Environmental Services Division was disbanded last June. I was incorporated into the Water Department where, looked down as a traitor (long story), I have been relegated to 'cleaning' the sewer system...a go nowhere, repetitive job.
Here are a couple of pics of the truck I drive.
http://www.ccud.org/vactruck.html

[lady cop]

[quote]

Doing it in New Zealand is helpful for that thing about not always getting British phrases and stuff, cos we grow up here bombarded with both British and American television, and often understand accents that one or the other don't understand. Often we buy files from British or American captioning companies and get to enjoy the mishearings of Brits captioning Boston accents or Americans captioning Scottish accents.
now that really is amusing to me, my sweetheart is a Brit with very elegant Queen's English accent, i have slight Boston accent and we "argue" that i say i have NO accent, when in fact it sounds like an accent to him. i understand 97% of what he says to me, but once in a while i have to ask him to spell what he just said! we are two countries separated by a common language!

[pzmyers]

I sit around in my office a lot, reading papers. And I tinker in the lab, poking at fish. And then I put together little stories about how the universe works, and I spend a few hours every week telling people about it.

It's a pretty good gig.

There are also a few hours every week where I waste time in meetings, but that's a small price to pay, I guess.

[lady cop]

I sit around in my office a lot, reading papers. And I tinker in the lab, poking at fish. And then I put together little stories about how the universe works, and I spend a few hours every week telling people about it.

It's a pretty good gig.

There are also a few hours every week where I waste time in meetings, but that's a small price to pay, I guess.
Hi PZ...are you a marine biologist? i took a year of that in college as an adjunct to SCUBA diving...so do you like MN or have you considered Wood's Hole or Mote Marine? or even Sea World in Florida? i like sharks myself :shark: ...but i have to tell you...when you posted about octopi and i reposted with smilies of octopi, i had my heart attack 5 minutes later. i was thinking, oh crap , this was my last fucking act on earth, posting octopi smilies ???? i now know you hate smilies, but i have to try this again,...i need to know if it's a jinx... :fishy: :dolphin: :seahorse: :bfish: :tropicalfish: :starfish: :squid: :squid: :squid: :octopus:

[ApostateAbe]

My current job is to sit at a desk and use a drafting software program to connect lines and label the bearings and distances of a subdivision with 104 lots under construction in another city. I label the areas of the lots, put at a little circle at each corner, make magnified details where appropriate and include notes on the side margins. There are a few frustrations like horrible bugs in the software that waste my time and cause me to redo a bunch of work, but at least I get paid for it. I listen to the radio while a work. If I am not doing draft work, I am out in the mud carrying tripods and setting them up, looking through a telescope, pointing it at a mirror, pushing buttons, and taking notes. I bet the rest of you are jealous. But I don't get paid much.

[RevDahlia]

Most of the time I am a housewife. This entails beating accumulated piles of rubble into submission, arguing down the utility bills, and cooking. The cooking is the good part. My husband appears periodically, and I must ask him how his day went before browbeating him into doing the dishes. I also spend too much time on Internet message boards.

Sometimes I get paid to have my picture taken, usually wearing clothing that nobody in their right mind would ever buy. Fey, black-clad individuals toting several thousand dollars' worth of camera equipment tell me what to do. They say things like "Be more... rock and roll. More edgy. KnowhatImean?" Sometimes they earnestly tell me that I'd work more if I lost ten pounds. If I do not follow their incredibly specific instructions, I am called "difficult". This takes place in studios which are always freezing cold or sweltering. Fortunately it pays well enough that I don't have to do it very often.

[Brimshack]

I am supposed to be a College Instructor. They don't call us professors here, because that would imply that we played an important role at this college. Most of the time I am really a reading tutor, because very few of my students are actually prepared to read college level material. Because I am the only full time instructor at my community campus, it means that I often have to help the high school teachers on adjunct contracts figure out why they aren't being paid, how the college wants this dealt with and that, etc. It also means that whenever another full time instructor comes to out campus to teach a class, I will find them in the hallway of the highscool where we teach once a week, and they will ask me if I have a key. I will tell them no, and after 6 or so weeks they will figure out that I actually do not have a key. But since I am nice about it and go find the janitor for them the first few weeks, they will decide that that is how they are supposed to get in the room, namely asking me to ask the janitor to help them get into their room. So, for the rest of the semester, I will find them on my way in to my own class, and they will ask me to open their room, and I will say, you have to find a janitor as I go find him for them. Sometimes they even get me out of my class to ask me to find the janitor for them so that he can let them in the room. Sometimes they will interrupt my class to get me to make copies for them which I cannot do, because I don't actually work at the high school, but since I'm not really teaching any of the 6-7 subjects I supposedly teach every semester ...nevermind!

Sometimes I actually get to teach someone somthing, and on occassion they actually learn it. ...this is what is known in religious circles as a miracle.

Since I work in an office where we do everything the main campus does with 1/10th the staff, I often end up answering the phone, taking out the trash, and performing various secretarial duties. I have steadfastly refused to learn how to do these other things well, which is the only thing that keeps this from becoming a substantial portion of my job.