~Adoption Story~

[lady cop]

when i was 17 i had a baby girl. i was a senior in high school, and back then this was a hidden trauma. i went on to graduate, was a college-bound kid, and gave my baby girl up for adoption, which was what was "done" then. i never had another girl, went on to give birth to, and raise three fine sons. my Mom and Dad were so supportive, even though this was extremely painful for them, their first grandchild. even i did not comprehend the implications. i was a child myself. this is important later...my Dad was director of a major government agency, remember this.....so fast forward 30 years...my daughter and i meet for the first time. she is my CLONE. it is so amazing and beautiful!! she has been raised by wonderful people. she is also exactly like me (nature v. nurture??)...Oprah's people read our story in a major newspaper and we are whisked to the show as onstage guests in program titled "synchronicity". i ask her...who adopted you? she tells me her dad was an engineer at same place my dad was director..so i looked to heaven and knew my dad decided who would raise his grandchild...and he was looking down now to see us together. to his deathbed he never told me, because he had made a promise. so now i have a lovely daughter and grandaughter, and she has also met her bio-father who adores her! it's a great story, i have only outlined it. but if you are interested in adoption, or finding a birth-parent, i can try to help you. oh, one other thing...her Mom who raised her with perfect love IS her REAL Mom. and we are friends who have thanked each other...we jointly gave her away at her lovely wedding, how generous of her Mom and what a joy it was! (her Dad deceased).and my boys...when i told them they had a sister they embraced her with open arms, i was so proud of them! if any interest in this thread, i will fill in a lot more.

[LadyShea]

We are planning to adopt, so I did read your story with interest :) How really lovely to read.

[Bella]

I am an adopted child - your story really touched me :).

[lady cop]

I am an adopted child - your story really touched me :).
i am certain you have never been forgotten by the person who gave you birth...my daughter asked me if i had thought of her over the years on her birthday, which of course i had, that seemed to be important to her. not everyone has the desire to discover their roots, and it's not always a good idea frankly. but it is natural to wonder. the most important thing is the family that raises you.... and i wish you much joy in adoption Lady Shea :violets:

[HelenM]

That's a wonderful story, ladycop. I'm glad your daughter was adopted by wonderful people who raised her with love and care and that it worked out so well when you finally met her.

We are planning to adopt, so I did read your story with interest :) How really lovely to read.

That's neat - I didn't know you were considering adoption.

Helen

[LadyShea]

We are planning to adopt, so I did read your story with interest :) How really lovely to read.

That's neat - I didn't know you were considering adoption.

Helen

We did't really either, LOL. Shortly after the last failed IVF cycle, I started quietly researching the options, then I found out about a week later that Frankie was also doing some preliminary research. We didn't really talk about it for awhile; we felt like we were "supposed" to be grieving or some shit, and we can't do anything until we move anyway.

Soo...the other day we were working on a Christmas project together, and had our first in depth discussion only to find out were were on exactly the same page...we are both interested in an Eastern European Roma child, because they have few prospects for a happy life where they are.

and i wish you much joy in adoption Lady Shea

Thank you, it was a scary and unpleasant thought a year ago, but through the IVF failures, we realized our desire is to be parents, not be pregnant. We are getting pretty excited now.

[viscousmemories]

Wow, you were on Oprah?! Cool! :D

That's a great story, lady cop. Thanks for sharing it. (I always feel ridiculous saying "thanks for sharing", since it's kind of a mandatory thing to say when you're in group therapy for drug rehabilitation, but I don't know how better to express it... ahem).

Anyway although it's really cool that things worked out so well for you I can't say adoption in itself really fascinates me, but I'm definitely interested in hearing more about what it's like to be on Oprah. :popcorn:

[Brimshack]

I'm adopted myself. I know very little about my real parents, except that Dan Quayle would not have approved. My adopted parents were quite upfront with me about it; I can't remember ever not knowing I was adopted. All in all, I'd say it worked. I do sometimes wonder about my genetic parents, but I've never made an active attempt to find them.

[HelenM]

We did't really either, LOL. Shortly after the last failed IVF cycle, I started quietly researching the options, then I found out about a week later that Frankie was also doing some preliminary research. We didn't really talk about it for awhile; we felt like we were "supposed" to be grieving or some shit, and we can't do anything until we move anyway.

Soo...the other day we were working on a Christmas project together, and had our first in depth discussion only to find out were were on exactly the same page...we are both interested in an Eastern European Roma child, because they have few prospects for a happy life where they are.

I'm glad that you and Frankie are in agreement. I have two beautiful young cousins who were adopted from Cambodia (my uncle got married after me so the generations are a little out of step and these cousins are younger than my children). I think it's wonderful to give children an opportunity to grow up in a family who wouldn't otherwise have that.

Helen

[lady cop]

VM...somehow i knew you'd want the "skinny" on Oprah! it was during the beef trial, so we had to fly to east bugger-all texas for the taping. no Chi town for us! Oprah was very gracious, and taller than i thought, i am 5'10" and she was nearly my height. on stage she was very interested in our story, and at one point was holding my hand, just out of sweetness, i wasn't crying or anything like that, the program really was a happy one. so...we were treated first-class all the way. i was living in key largo at the time and a huge limo was sent to pick me up to go to miami international airport, (better known as nicaragua)...when we arrived at hotel we were told everything was on the house for us, no limitations. so we did some serious top-shelf drinking, and i tried to order two cowboys :cowboy: :cowboy: , with no results except gales of laughter from the front desk....after the show taping we went back to hotel where the entire audience from show was waiting for us we were greeted like old friends by everyone, they all wanted to hug us or cry or tell their story or ask advice. it was fantastic. i have no stories to tell about Oprah except she was absolutely lovely and kind. (sorry VM)....it was really cool, a year or so later a girl buddy of mine from boston was sitting in a pub in England and saw the show....she was screaming and carrying on "that's my friend"!!! of course they thought she was drunk. small world.

[viscousmemories]

Cool. I'm not surprised or disappointed by Oprah being really nice at all. Although I am surprised about the royal treatment. I didn't realize she was so generous with the guests. I think she's a really cool woman, actually. I was in the position of having to stay with my Mom for almost a year a few years ago, and watched Oprah every day. :chuckle:

[Dingfod]

I would be lying to say that I have even a vague recollection of that particular show, but I was watching Oprah some of the time during her Amarillo days. That is where and when we Oprah viewers all got introduced to Dr. Phil McGraw for the first time. However, your story is touching and kind of cool.

[lady cop]

Cool. I'm not surprised or disappointed by Oprah being really nice at all. Although I am surprised about the royal treatment. I didn't realize she was so generous with the guests. I think she's a really cool woman, actually. I was in the position of having to stay with my Mom for almost a year a few years ago, and watched Oprah every day. :chuckle:
Hey VM...if you think about it, Oprah does not pay her guests, but her guests ARE the show, so she makes a gaxazibillion dollars, treats her guests like royalty, and writes it off as a business expense. :yup:

[seebs]

Oh, that's beautiful!

So, the story implies you're still in touch with her bio-father? A lot of teens don't end up even in touch after something like that.

But congrads! Sounds wonderful. I'm personally mostly in favor of "open adoption", so I guess I'm glad it worked out.

And, in particular, kudos for the comment about her "real mom". If more people understood this, I think there'd be less hassle for adopted kids.

[lady cop]

Hello Seebs...and happy christmas....i am not in touch with her bio-dad, but we are not UN-friendly, it was just one of those high school things...in fact, it was ONCE. so goes life, i am glad my daughter is on the planet, she is a fabulous woman. so i am at JFK's funeral. november of '63. and i am very pregnant and a young girl. i absorbed every moment of that week and that funeral. later, when i met her, she said she had a fantasy that JFK was her dad. weird. but when we met...i sat across from her and started shaking all over, she was the ghost of my former self. we found out we loved the same things, literature, songs, every damn thing! then she met her bio-dad...he knew her the moment she got off the plane, out of many people... because she was 'me' from 30 years before. i fed-exed all my family photos to her, when she opened it she KNEW it was her blood. that first conversation was something i may never be able to describe.