Talk me through Christmas Eve, please...

[reprise]

I should be so happy this year, but I haven't stopped crying since I woke up this morning. It's ten years today since my partner died and I have never been one to place any kind of meaning in annual events. I just wish he was here to see the grandbaby. I miss him so much.

[ApostateAbe]

What do you want me to say? I'll tell you the truth because that is all I say besides saying nothing at all. There's no use crying for him. He would not want you to cry for him. If he loved you, he would want you to have a good time during Christmas and to save your feelings for those still breathing, walking, and talking who can return their love. Tell you what, you don't even have to imagine that it is him who wants you to do that. There are plenty of people around you who want your love. Spend Christmas off the Internet so you can spend the most time around those who aren't talking to you through text on your computer monitor.

[HelenM]

I should be so happy this year, but I haven't stopped crying since I woke up this morning. It's ten years today since my partner died and I have never been one to place any kind of meaning in annual events. I just wish he was here to see the grandbaby. I miss him so much.

Anniversaries of losing a loved one are always hard. Hopefully your family will understand that and realize that missing your partner doesn't mean you don't love them. How is your grandbaby doing? Well, I hope.

Helen

[Blake]

Sweet reprise ... it'll be all right. It's terrible that he's gone, but it would be even worse if he had been a bad person and you remembered him with ill feelings. I think the only immortality we achieve is through the traces we leave in those who survive us, so I'm glad for him that you remember him so fondly. Give your grandbaby double kisses! :)

I'm sorry, I'm sure none of that is very helpful. I'll try to say something better later ... <sigh> We love you.

[seebs]

I don't know what to say. Do you need people to hang out with, or to talk to?

Anyway, {{reprise}}.

[maddog]

Whether we, as individuals, think we place meaning in annual events or not, they have a way of placing meaning on us. There's a sense in which it doesn't make sense to say "you'll be fine" -- that's because you already are fine. Grieving is good. Remembering is good. Your feelings are your feelings. In this case, your pain and sadness are the corollaries of love; i.e., without your love for one another, you would not be feeling this pain. And love is never wrong.
{{reprise}}

#138

[Sonnet]

I understand, entirely. It's been 3 weeks since Jeff died. I have no idea how to do Christmas this year, or any year. I'm just... not.

I'm so new to this that trying to tell you how to find the good in it is kind of beyond me at this point. I'd like to believe that there is something positive, some growth to be found in things like this instead of that they're just awful and pointless and sad. Maddog is right; love is never wrong.

Do you believe in any kind of existence after death, or are you pretty sure that this is it?

[Brimshack]

Hey reprise.

WHyd on't you show us a picture of your grandbaby?

[Brimshack]

Okay, hugs to both you and Sonnet.

[Dingfod]

Good show, Brimshack.

If it helps, I would hug reprise and Sonnet myself. I'm a big huggy bear person anyway.

My favorite Christmas Eve memories were those with my maternal grandmother and her husband. We always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve with them because my paternal grandmother kidnapped Christmas Day (hiding it somewhere with all the other loot, she never threw anything away). Losing Grandma Mavis at age 58 hit that particular tradition hard. It has been 27 years since her death and I cannot help but attach those memories to this evening, even though I am almost 50 years old and at work. The best thing our family did to honor the memories of Grandma Mavis was to continue the tradition opening this side of the family's gifts on Christmas Eve. Well, now that my parents have moved to Oregon... and my siblings are scattered to the four winds... and my wife and I are both working tonight... and our youngest daughter is 17... and our 23 year old daughter lives in Texas with her 15 month old boy, we are not celebrating this evening, we'll do that when I get home at 6:00 AM Christmas Day.

Enough of my reminiscent ramblings... I think the best thing to do is remember the happy times and try to forget the passage of time without your late loved ones by creating new traditions that honor them.

[lady cop]

i would have been working tonight except for a bit of health difficulty...so i get a px (cop for phone call) and i hear "turn on your scanner'...well scanner is always on, and then i hear a whole bunch of people on their radios :cop: saying "MERRY CHRISTMAS L.C.!!" ... well that was too sweet and really touched my heart. ...and i am waxing nostalgic tonight as well, i grew up in D.C. where we used to go to see the fantastic store window animations in hecht's and woodward and lothrops , there has been nothing like them since..then we would go see the national christmas tree :xmastree: on the mall in front of washington monument, a huge one, and then one for every state. so beautiful. i guess when we were kids we thought it would never end. :snowman: happy christmas eve to all who are here, and a peaceful day tomorrow. :wave: