Just in Case the Pageants Weren't Creepy Enough

[livius drusus]

Here comes kiddy pageant photo retouching (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch.html). Browse the before and after photos, if you dare.

http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/zcasspurplepicBA.jpg

This Photo Enhancement Includes:

Skin blended
Flesh tones boosted to peachy hues
Bow shadows removed from forehead
Drool removed from mouth
Eyes brightened and sharpened
Catch lights corrected in eyes
Dark circles gently faded, while natural eye creases are preserved for a natural appearance
Lashes added
Lip line corrected
Photo zoomed, cropped, and sharpened

:vomit:

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

I'm surprised you haven't seen this before. :shudder:

[LadyShea]

Ewww. What is wrong with people...for fuck's sake.

They are way too unnaturally "bright eyed". Kinda scary.

[livius drusus]

Those freaky-ass iris transplants look like doll eyes. Check out this one (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch4a.html). :shudder:

[beyelzu]

fuck its like cute kid becomes chucky's evil mistress

[wei yau]

So, this is what evil looks like.

[LadyShea]

Those freaky-ass iris transplants look like doll eyes. Check out this one (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch4a.html). :shudder:


That doesn't even look like a real child. It's like Dr. Frankenstein doing retouching

[livius drusus]

It gets worse. From Chucky's evil mistress to baby Joan Collins (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch2.html) from hell. Who in their right mind would think those vile retouches look better than nice, normal little kids?

Oh, and what the bloody fuck is with "dark circles removed". Like these babies are freaking Richard Nixon or some shit.

[LadyShea]

Apparently any puffiness or extra skin or slight pouche or crinkle under the eye is a "dark circle". The fact that all actual human beings have something under their eye doesn't seem to matter. That's one of the things that makes all retouched photos look so creepy. They remove the natural undereye whatevers.

[Leesifer]

:shudder: Yuk! All that slap on a baby. It's just wrong.

[The Lone Ranger]

Gadzooks! This one (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retoucha.html) doesn't look even remotely human in the "after" photo.

Who on Earth pays for this "service"?

Cheers,

Michael

[curses]

Yikes! Way to Photoshop the cuteness away :shudder:
These people have some of the worst Photoshop skills I've seen since the invention of the lens flare. Apparently they don't know when to stop.

[erimir]

I wouldn't have been surprised had they had a picture of an Asian child with the makeover including "eyes de-Asianed". But they didn't. They did have a black child (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1aaaa.html) with her complexion lightened tho (although that's not one of the changes they mention in the list).

These (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch2.html) two (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retoucha.html) seemed particularly weird to me.

Someone needs to tell this photo retoucher person that the whites of eyes are not a uniform color, nor does it look "better" when they are. It makes them look like wax figures or the children of the corn or something.

This one's just freaky. (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch5.html)

[Watser?]

Fuck, why don't they just bring in the taxidermist?

:afraid2:

[inland wave]

Why would people want to do this? I can't believe anyone can offer this service and make money. The pictures look like plastic or porcelain dolls. Give me the "natural" look hands down.

[curses]

Weren't these the same people who were fighting the SA goons and accusing them of libel?

[D. Scarlatti]

Daddy's little hooker gets younger every day. Any fetuses up in there?

Apologies to the Southerners, but this smacks of below-the-Mason-Dixon-Line-ness.

[Dingfod]

MSPaintjob

[lisarea]

HEY.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d2/lisarea/krishna_muffin1.png

Not everyone can have kids they want to look at before retouching, you know.

[Ymir's blood]

Babies are all creepy anyway.

[erimir]

Don't tell Zeke about that opinion.

[livius drusus]

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d2/lisarea/krishna_muffin1.png

I didn't know there was a girl in Flock of Seagulls.

[lisarea]

I didn't know there was a girl in Flock of Seagulls.

Don't hate him because he's beautiful.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Somebody took away the wrong message from Little Miss Sunshine.

:puke:

[ITSOZAZ]

that's just plain creepy. now this is how you photoshop a baby...



http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/michael1111/zekeart1a.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/michael1111/DSC_0006zekearta.jpg

[Artemis Entreri]

:ffgiggle::laugh::laughdie:
That's the worst photoshopping I've ever seen.
I'm surprised there's not one in a brandy snifter...
Hey, yo, I'm Tony Malone, owner of Lasting Impressions. Through the wizardry of computer technology, I can take any picture you got and stuff it into a brandy snifter. Why not take that extra step to make your favorite pictures pop with class and have top-of-the-line no-joke excellence. Check this out:
http://photo.net/bboard-uploads/00Jy7o-34993884.jpg

[Shelli]

:shudder:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I didn't know there was a girl in Flock of Seagulls.

Don't hate him because he's beautiful.

I refuse to address this until I am assured beyond a reasonable doubt that he is at least 18. :D

[Shake]

"Hey, parents! Have your child's photo modified so that your own flesh and blood will look like a real plastic doll!"

Unfuckingbelieveable!

And what the hell is wrong with how this girl (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retoucha.html) looks in the before image?

And the babies, too? Babies are supposed to look like babies, damnit!

Poor kids.

[Artemis Entreri]

And what the hell is wrong with how this girl looks in the before image?

Well for one, she didn't scare the bejeebus outta me before.

[lisarea]

And what the hell is wrong with how this girl (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retoucha.html) looks in the before image?

She looks like a fat old crank whore in that before picture is why. In fact, I think that might actually be a mug shot.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Daddy's little hooker gets younger every day. Any fetuses up in there?

Apologies to the Southerners, but this smacks of below-the-Mason-Dixon-Line-ness.
:glare:

[Watser?]

And what the hell is wrong with how this girl (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retoucha.html) looks in the before image?

She looks like a fat old crank whore in that before picture is why. In fact, I think that might actually be a mug shot.

:roflcopt:

[viscousmemories]

They did have a black child with her complexion lightened tho (although that's not one of the changes they mention in the list).
Sure they did: "Photo color corrected"

[Stormlight]

Check these out: The models from hell (http://beckycarter.com/color.html)

:rughide:

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

WHAT THE CHRIST.

Are those realdolls or were they human at one point? :shudder:

[livius drusus]

Again with the freaky doll eyes. Don't these folks know dolls are creepy even when they aren't made out of people?

[Lauri D]

Super creepy to be sure, but it sort of surprises me that it's surprising that the Playboy Effect* didn't eventually trickle down...

(*grown women's genitals look just like 10-year olds' and it's totally normal for someone with 10% body fat to have triple-D breasts!)

Anyway I don't know if the "models from hell" link is for reals but dude, WTF is up with the consistent expression of surprise/horror in the eyes? Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed is one thing, but these chicks look like they're being held at gunpoint.

[lisarea]

I'm scouring the forum for pictures of you guys so I can make you all look like Chucky, too.

[vremya]

I checked out the B&W photos and they're just as creepy! :eek:

[Ymir's blood]

Instead of working to give 3D graphics programs the ability to make real looking humans, they're making real humans look like 3D models.

Next up, giving your child a giant sword or ray gun. They can look like you got them nice toys without all the hassles of making them clean their rooms or even getting bored with their presents in a week's time.

[lisarea]

Instead of working to give 3D graphics programs the ability to make real looking humans, they're making real humans look like 3D models.

Hmmm.

You know what would be cool? If computer generated models get realistic up to a point, and people become unrealistic up to a point; and that point: UNCANNY VALLEY. We'd all just meet in the creepy, creepy middle.

[LadyShea]

I don't get the eye thing. Just don't get it. I have seen a billion retouched photos- look at any given magazine ad- but I don't think the pros do that shit to the eyes.

[Julie]

Heh you guys have no idea...these crazys also pay hundreds of dollars for "boutique" clothing on ebay, usually jeans and suff that have had stuff added on, but sometimes an original outfit like this (http://cgi.ebay.com/BOUTIQUE-PIRATE-MASTER-COSTUME-custom-HALLOWEEN-PAGEANT_W0QQitemZ170137700424QQihZ007QQcategoryZ79718QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
this (http://cgi.ebay.com/TCL-Custom-Boutique-YOU-DESIGN-IT-bcmm-altb-cbd_W0QQitemZ230158822162QQihZ013QQcategoryZ15635QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
with bonus prayer! (http://cgi.ebay.com/Custom-Boutique-Girls-VINTAGE-Dress-Set-18m-2T-OOAK-OKB_W0QQitemZ290145348714QQihZ019QQcategoryZ79714QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
Pagent casual wear! (http://cgi.ebay.com/SassE-boutique-4t-5-custom-fall-bts-pageant-casual-bcmm_W0QQitemZ300139292176QQihZ020QQcategoryZ147271QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
I must confess I love this....its very harajuku... (http://cgi.ebay.com/SassE-Boutique-Raggedy-Ann-costume-Pageant-Casual-wear_W0QQitemZ180146875476QQihZ008QQcategoryZ79714QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
Look what i did to your bedspread grandma! (http://cgi.ebay.com/7PC-ULTIMATE-FALL-WINTER-CHENILLE-BOUTIQUE-SET-SZ-2T-7_W0QQitemZ290145454607QQihZ019QQcategoryZ79714QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)(And I know nothing of the concept of pressing and topstiching!)

So always remember you have to dress them like scarey freaky dools as well as makeing them look that way!

[Ymir's blood]

Instead of working to give 3D graphics programs the ability to make real looking humans, they're making real humans look like 3D models.

Hmmm.

You know what would be cool? If computer generated models get realistic up to a point, and people become unrealistic up to a point; and that point: UNCANNY VALLEY. We'd all just meet in the creepy, creepy middle.
Someone should invent some fancy goggles that automatically do that.

[Ensign Steve]

Come on you guys, making a human face out of a computer is like totally hard. Even the folks at pixar struggle with it, and they have million-dollar computer programs to work with. How is some quasi-professional amateur running Windows 98 and a bootleg copy of Photoshop 6.0 expected to do a decent job? Y'all are snobs.

I'm scouring the forum for pictures of you guys so I can make you all look like Chucky, too.

OMG I will totally give you a dollar if you do!

[Ensign Steve]

this (http://cgi.ebay.com/BOUTIQUE-PIRATE-MASTER-COSTUME-custom-HALLOWEEN-PAGEANT_W0QQitemZ170137700424QQihZ007QQcategoryZ79718QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)


That pirate costume is hot! And so is the pouty-faced model. Or she will be in 20 years, anyway, if the pageant circuit doesn't suck the life out of her in the meanwhile. Seriously, though, I want a corset made out of skulls and roses.

[ms_ann_thrope]

wtf? It's like some sort of weird pedo-D&S hybrid:
http://supremepageantphotos.homestead.com/serious_career_for_web.jpg

[Ensign Steve]

Srsly? I mean I really doubt you're coming from the "little girls should be princesses, not cops" camp, so how is this costume different from a princess?

Edit: Oh, wait. I just spotted the giant black cock in her hand. Yikes!

Edit again: No, but really seriously this time, with the exception of the cock, that is about the unsexiest picture ever. It's a little girl in a police costume. She's got no obvious makeup, severe conservative hair, and little stud earrings ilke I wear in my uniform. Half the time on TV when a lady is a cop or a soldier, she has crazy sexed up bed hair or some otherwise completely out of regs joke, but this little girl is like amazingly accurate in her uniform. With the exception of the "I love a woman in uniform" taste, there is really nothing sexy about this pic at all, unless adults want to make it as such. I think that would be an overreaction. It's cute. It's a little girl in a costume, and actually not in a princess or otherwise "girlie" costume. And she's not the sexed out hollywood female cop, she looks like an accurate uniformed cop. I find it completely feminist and empowering. I mean, look at the way she grips that cock; you know she's in charge.

[Ensign Steve]

WTF is going on here?!

http://supremepageantphotos.homestead.com/char_merilyn2.jpg

ms_ann I'm mad at you for bringing that site to our attention. I'm going to be :lol:ing all day, and I really need to get some work done.

[Julie]

The pirate costume is hot...I'd love one of those for me too. Thats the problem, that little girl wearing it somewhere between 5-7 years old maybe 8 at the oldest....

Finding that fabric is very easy to do...and a corset pattern is cheap and easy to sew....simplicity patterns has one
here is the corset pattern (http://www.butterick.com/item/B4669.htm?tab=costumes&page=3)

fabric! (http://www.hartsfabric.com/skandskfa.html)

Now if only I could still sew....

[Ensign Steve]

I don't sew but my mom does. She's been making clothes for me since I was born. That's one thing I really miss with wearing a uniform every day, but I've already hit her up to make me a bunch of nice stuff to wear when I get out next year and need an entirely new civilan clothes wardrobe.

Good find!
http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/hartsfabric_1958_185501670

[ms_ann_thrope]

To me, the little girl in the cop uniform is very obviously made up, and her severe hairstyle is disturbingly fake-mature. If she was smiling, looking like a kid at play, I doubt I would have had the same reaction to the photograph. But the pouty lower lip and tough-gal stare juxtaposed with the uniform and little hand gripping a ginormous phallus (oops, I mean baton!) immediately looked to me like a kiddie porn version of a familiar adult roleplay scenario. I haven't really seen any "princess" fetishism (although I'm sure some exists), but "sexy, dominant policewoman" is pretty standard fare... and was the first thing that came to my mind. Of course, this probably says something more about my own peccadilloes than it does anything else...

I'm just thankful that they didn't dress her up like a French maid or naughty nurse! :P

[wildernesse]

Instead of working to give 3D graphics programs the ability to make real looking humans, they're making real humans look like 3D models.

This is also apparently the goal of the upcoming Beowulf movie.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

I once saw a McDONALD'S "boutique designer" outfit. :shudder:

[JoeP]

I'm scouring the forum for pictures of you guys so I can make you all look like Chucky, too.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v437/SecretCode/forums/Otisimproved.jpg

[Ymir's blood]

Instead of working to give 3D graphics programs the ability to make real looking humans, they're making real humans look like 3D models.

This is also apparently the goal of the upcoming Beowulf movie.
I hadn't seen that before. I suppose it sort of makes sense given the mythic nature of the story.

[wildernesse]

Why anyone would want to see Beowulf rendered in bad video game animation, I don't know. It's not as if they made up new individuals for the actors, either. No, that's Angelina Jolie, but animated!

[Ymir's blood]

Why anyone would want to see Beowulf rendered in bad video game animation, I don't know. It's not as if they made up new individuals for the actors, either. No, that's Angelina Jolie, but animated!
Because some people will never learn that just because something is possible doesn't mean that it is desirable? Sort of like all the java/flash/whatever drop down menus on websites that cause the browser to lag, it's just cool. :woopdedo:

[erimir]

I'm scouring the forum for pictures of you guys so I can make you all look like Chucky, too.Ooh! Ooh! Do me! Do me! :eager:

[Nullifidian]

WTF is going on here?!

http://supremepageantphotos.homestead.com/char_merilyn2.jpg

ms_ann I'm mad at you for bringing that site to our attention. I'm going to be :lol:ing all day, and I really need to get some work done.

It's either an attempt to duplicate the famous Marilyn Monroe scene in The Seven Year Itch (http://www.gallerym.com/images/work/big/associated%20press_marilyn_monroe_seven_yr_itch_L.jpg) or the girl's just been kept waaaaaay too long at the photographer's and is about to wet herself.