Penis Pumps, ever used one?

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Hmmm? What does it feel like?

[livius drusus]

I've wondered that myself. Is it a suction thing, like an air blowjob?

[seebs]

Only organic models.

[Corwin]

Ok.... I've never actually used one myself, but from what I hear they're a different and 'interesting' sensation that's hard to describe. Apparently they're also perfectly safe, when used properly, but as I understand it, the effect only lasts for just so long. (You get desensitized to it after a while.)

I dunno. I've been curious about them before. I suppose the thing that stopped me from trying one was the whole 'um, isn't exposing any part of your body to hard vaccum kind of a bad idea?' question....

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Ok.... I've never actually used one myself, but from what I hear they're a different and 'interesting' sensation that's hard to describe. Apparently they're also perfectly safe, when used properly, but as I understand it, the effect only lasts for just so long. (You get desensitized to it after a while.)


Do you mean you get desensitized and you can never feel like that again, or the feeling wears off after you do it(like when you masturbate) but do it again in a day and it's back just like it was?

Exposing your penis to hard vacuum won't hurt anything. Unlike bad sci-fi "science" people don't explode. You just pass out after 15+ sec. from low oxygen to the brain because you can't hold air in your lungs to get more oxygen to the blood, the air is sucked out you see. Except you wouldn't want your air to be sucked out with such force so you'd blow out all the air in your lungs before being exposed. Just like in 2001:ASO

[Sycophant]

Exposing your penis to hard vacuum won't hurt anything. Unlike bad sci-fi "science" people don't explode. You just pass out after 15+ sec. from low oxygen to the brain because you can't hold air in your lungs to get more oxygen to the blood, the air is sucked out you see. Except you wouldn't want your air to be sucked out with such force so you'd blow out all the air in your lungs before being exposed. Just like in 2001:ASO

Uh... I doubt many penis pumps have the capacity to create a space-like vacuum. Although I believe they function by forcing blood into the penis. Which I believe can cause some damage to the blood vessels if used too often. Or at least that's what I read in FHM or something similar.

I've never used one. I swear.

[Corwin]

No, they don't actually make hard vacuum.

However.... (and bear in mind this is 'friend of a friend' info) they do produce enough suction to damage tissue. No, you don't explode. (And I never thought you did.... my original concern was that exposing yourself to vacuum was just begging for an embolism.) You CAN however, rupture blood vessels and such, which can cause substantial damage.

If you follow the instructions, this isn't a problem. However, after a while you get used to it and it takes more suction to get the same effect. The advice I've been given is that at this point, throw it away. However, lots of guys don't, and instead (guys being what we are) just keep pumping it more and more to get the same effect.

[Sycophant]

There's no fewer than 6 sex shops within about 5 minutes walk of my place...

So, I tell you what I will conduct research into this for you if you like. I will commit to using one of these devices once a day for three weeks.

However, there is a catch, I can't afford one at the moment, so if you want me to conduct any research on this issue, I will need some money...

So, here's my solution to that one...
http://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/x-click-but04.gif (https://www.paypal.com/xclick/business=paypal%40dylan.wibble.net&no_shipping=0&no_note=1&tax=0&currency_code=USD)

Also, timing is critical of course, there's only about a 1-week window on this.

Also, I may decide I don't like it, and use it less than I suggested, or I may like it so much I never have time to post here again.

[Shake]

Someone had to say it --

That's not my bag, baby! [/Austin Powers] :yup:

[Corwin]

Someone had to say it --

That's not my bag, baby! [/Austin Powers] :yup:

*takes out a book titled 'Sweedish Penis Pumps: It's My Bag, Baby!' by Shake*

:D

[Adora]

Only organic models.
Do they queef as much as the plastic models do? *snortle*

[Shake]

Someone had to say it --

That's not my bag, baby! [/Austin Powers] :yup:

*takes out a book titled 'Sweedish Penis Pumps: It's My Bag, Baby!' by Shake*

:D
Touche'! :touche:

[MonCapitan2002]

I thought penis pumps were for enlarging the penis. I guess not. I wouldn't use one though. I would not want any kind of inorganic suctioning device anywhere near my penis.

[Legs]

Did y'all hear about the Judge that was using one of thing things under his bench during a trial??

[beyelzu]

Did y'all hear about the Judge that was using one of thing things under his bench during a trial??
no shit?

[Legs]

Here I found the link :)

The Oklahoma judge who was forced from the bench last year for using a penis pump in court (among other really gross acts) was charged yesterday with indecent exposure for his judicial indiscretions. Donald Thompson, 58, entered a not guilty plea yesterday to three felony counts during an appearance in Creek County District Court, where he worked until resigning last August. According to the below yucky probable cause affidavit, Thompson exposed himself during three separate 2003 cases (two of which were murder trials). For example, on May 13, while he was presiding over State v. Kurt Arnold Vomberg (who was accused of killing his girlfriend's 21-month-old daughter), Thompson loudly pumped himself up. Two court employees told investigators that they saw Thompson (pictured in the mug shot at right) attach the suction device to his penis, while five jurors reported hearing whooshing sounds, which they thought were coming from either a bicycle pump, blood pressure cuff, or an air cushion on the judge's chair. After a January 7 search of Thompson's former courtroom and chambers yielded items that tested positive for seminal fluid, investigators secured a search warrant to obtain a DNA sample from the ex-jurist.

And the complaint and gross details are here
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0121051judge1.html

[livius drusus]

Oh. My. God. I have to give him dexterity props, though, for shaving and oiling his nads while sitting on the bench.

[Dingfod]

Judge Donald "Penis Pump" Thompson's courtroom is not even five miles from my house. I don't know why that is pertinent, but it certainly has a lot of local people in an uproar, some saying he should go to jail, some questioning his verdicts, and so on.

[Bullet]

Judge Donald "Penis Pump" Thompson's courtroom is not even five miles from my house. I don't know why that is pertinent, but it certainly has a lot of local people in an uproar, some saying he should go to jail, some questioning his verdicts, and so on.Never used one, I figure that's what my girl is for. (I'm gonna get smacked for this :whup: ) She is my living breathing...er...pump. (I love you baby :yup: ) But I have to admit curiosity. :chin:

[LiveToRide]

Why would you get smacked??? And if you're curious, we'll have to check one out. You keep satisfying all my curiosities, right??? AFLAC!!!! :fantasy:
(I love you, too!!!)

[livius drusus]

Um... So you're into ducks, LivetoRide? Or is it just the insurance angle that gets you hot. :giggle:

[LiveToRide]

Um... So you're into ducks, LivetoRide? Or is it just the insurance angle that gets you hot. :giggle:
Definitely, insurance gives me the screaming thigh sweats!!!
But seriously...It's a joke between Bullet and me. A play off "What's good for the goose...." Only we just say AFLAC!!
(Does it only make sense to us?) :kookoo:

[Legs]

some questioning his verdicts, and so on.


Well duh, I have never known a man to think clearly when he had an erection :eek: I think they have a point there.

[Crumb]

"What's good for the goose...."

So what you are trying to say is you will be his penis pump if he will be your breast pump? :chin::

[livius drusus]

Maybe it's a pate reference. Something about shoving something so far down her throat her liver backs up? It's just a suggestion.

[Dingfod]

some questioning his verdicts, and so on.
Well duh, I have never known a man to think clearly when he had an erection :eek: I think they have a point there.That damn thing gets engorged and it either has a brain of its own or it the blood requirement causes oxygen deprivation of the cerebrum. I'm sure many of the cases before Judge Thompson were mind-numbingly boring, but the reason he is paid the big bucks is to pay attention while court is in session. What a dick.

[livius drusus]

Child murder cases are probably as non-boring as it gets in a court of law. I just can't believe this guy would actually be able to do all these things and not have someone stop him right there on the spot.

[godfry n. glad]

"Here cum da judge...here cum da judge."

[Dingfod]

Child murder cases are probably as non-boring as it gets in a court of law. I just can't believe this guy would actually be able to do all these things and not have someone stop him right there on the spot.Who? This is a basically rural Oklahoma county. Plus, I'm sure they were more than just a little bit afraid of him. When court is in session, which is when these incidents took place, the judge is the ultimate authority; he can have virtually anyone arrested, lawyers, bailiffs, jury members, spectators. The only way he can be removed from the bench is by the state judicial review board, and that's where the complaint was first filed. The criminal charges came later, based on testimony before that board. Donald Thompson is in trouble for more than just indecent exposure and masturbating in court, he apparently absconded with a bunch of county property as well, from pictures and paintings off the walls, office furniture, and office supplies to who knows what else. He's also been accused of accepting money and sexual favors in exchange for leniency in cases involving relatives of court employees. He's pretty slimy, certainly not worthy of judgeship, let alone a licence to practice law.

Caveat: I've got nothing against penis pumps, adult pornography, or masturbation. Lawsy-mersey, if I did, I'd be a hypocrite on the latter two of those.

[Dingfod]

Hate to dredge this back up, but you are not going to believe who has been called for jury duty for the trial of "Judge" Donald Thompson. My better half, inland wave has, that's who. She received notice to report Sept. 23 to the same courthouse where the trial is slated to begin Sept. 26. I think the defense will be looking to get some non-prudes on the jury, and I don't think inland wave is a prude by any means. Hell, anyone that has put up with me for almost 29 years can't be too much of a prude.

[Never]

Hate to dredge this back up, but you are not going to believe who has been called for jury duty for the trial of "Judge" Donald Thompson. My better half, inland wave has, that's who. She received notice to report Sept. 23 to the same courthouse where the trial is slated to begin Sept. 26. I think the defense will be looking to get some non-prudes on the jury, and I don't think inland wave is a prude by any means. Hell, anyone that has put up with me for almost 29 years can't be too much of a prude.

Wow. Yeah, I think you'd have to not be a prude to manage to make it through this trial (I looked at some of the stuff on Smoking Gun - I was thinking the janitor should get hazard pay retroactively).
If she ends up on the jury, this sounds like something that could attract a fair amount of media attention (which I wouldn't be too thrilled with if it were me). Keep us updated.

[Veritas]

I don't need to use one; my cock is fucking enormous! :P

[SharonDee]

Hello, sailor!

[Veritas]

I'm a woman, it's actually a rampant rabbit stuck on with silly-putty. But it does the job.

[livius drusus]

Hate to dredge this back up, but you are not going to believe who has been called for jury duty for the trial of "Judge" Donald Thompson. My better half, inland wave has, that's who. She received notice to report Sept. 23 to the same courthouse where the trial is slated to begin Sept. 26. I think the defense will be looking to get some non-prudes on the jury, and I don't think inland wave is a prude by any means. Hell, anyone that has put up with me for almost 29 years can't be too much of a prude.

Oh man, Crumb's gonna be soooo jealous. I know I am. I really, really hope she makes it on the jury because as soon as the case is over we're totally, erm, pumping her for information.

[Wizard]

I thought penis pumps were for enlarging the penis. I guess not. I wouldn't use one though. I would not want any kind of inorganic suctioning device anywhere near my penis.
I stuck my dick in a plastic water bottle last week and moved it up and down my dick, all it really does it get you more turned on, if it was tighter I coulda came in it.

[livius drusus]

The latest (http://www.salon.com/wire/ap/archive.html?wire=D8CO8UV82.html) on the penis pump judge. Damn shame inland wave won't get to be on the jury, because this looks to me the most salaciously entertaining trial of all time.

I was surprised to read that if convicted he'll have to register as a sex offender. Seems excessive to me. Now if there were some kind of hopeless pervert registry... (Don't worry, Warren. It'll never happen.)

[Dingfod]

...hopeless pervert registry... (Don't worry, Warren. It'll never happen.)Whew! You had me worried there.

[Shake]

...hopeless pervert registry... (Don't worry, Warren. It'll never happen.)Whew! You had me worried there.
You're not the only one! :phew:

[viscousmemories]

Zor, I deleted your recommendation for a commercial penis enhancement drug as spam.

[Ensign Steve]

Did you happen to catch the name of the drug before you deleted it? I'm asking for a friend.

[viscousmemories]

It was called Penormous™.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Did you happen to catch the name of the drug before you deleted it? I'm asking for a friend.

Why bother? It's not like that stuff actually works. They don't play the ads so much on TV now, but all those "get bigger dicks" commercials have "Claims have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration" in tiny, tiny print (far smaller than the penises they claim to be able to enlarge) on the bottom of the screen that flashes on and off fast; sometimes even too fast to read through. Which is another way of saying "we're liars", but without them getting slammed legally for false claims. "Patented" is used by those turd sandwiches that sell what I call Pills for Fat Bastards. Patented means it's novel, and the rights to it have been reserved, not that it works. Anyone who claims something is patented in their sales pitch is a dishonest prick of the type that I wouldn't mind cracking their skull; non-lethally of course. Because I'd let them heal, then I'd do it again and again and again.

[ChuckF]

I've used a penis pump before, but I can't remember her name. :hide:

[zor]

Zor, I deleted your recommendation for a commercial penis enhancement drug as spam.

Why don't you think that a photo of my dog is a commercial? May be I’m waiting for e-mails about her puppies. Isn’t she pretty? May be I’m a dog-breeder.

It was unfair. I was frank. It is a shame.

[viscousmemories]

Zor, I deleted your recommendation for a commercial penis enhancement drug as spam.
Why don't you think that a photo of my dog is a commercial? May be I’m waiting for e-mails about her puppies. Isn’t she pretty? May be I’m a dog-breeder.

It was unfair. I was frank. It is a shame.
Your first post on this forum (as 'zor') consisted of a recommendation for a brand name commercial penis enlargement drug. We judged it as spam (reasonably so, in my opinion) based on that precise fact. You followed that with two posts: 1. A nude woman (who you claim is your wife) and 2. a dog (which you claim is your dog). The obvious reason we didn't judge either of those posts as spam is because you did not recommend a commercial product by name in either of them.

Here are some other fun facts:

The user 'yesyes' joined the forum September 7th and posted (among other things) a recommendation for a commercial product (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=105781#post105781) and several pictures of "his wife's dog" in the pets thread. His last visit to this forum was October 13th.

On October 13th, the user 'zor' joined this forum from the same IP address, but using a different email and posted a recommendation for a commercial product, followed by a nude photo of "his wife" in the sexy photos thread, and then a picture of a different dog in the pets thread calling it "our puppy".

The only shame is that we didn't catch you sooner, Spammy McSpammerson.

We are banning the yesyes and zor accounts. Say goodnight, Gracie.

[Leesifer]

... Spammy McSpammerson.


:giggle: What a great username that is.

[JoeP]

What a great username that is.Would be. If it had numbers and special characters.

[livius drusus]

:glare:

[inland wave]

The trial has been postponed by the way. They plan to try to start over with picking the jury sometime in December.

[Dingfod]

Sp@mm1 McSp@mm1s0n

[livius drusus]

The trial has been postphoned by the way. They plan to try to start over with picking the jury sometime in December.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that lightning will strike and you'll get called again, then. (Lovely new avatar, inland wave. freemonkey is such a great photographer. :nod: )

[Dingfod]

Postphoned? Will they call you back up?

[inland wave]

actually I have been wondering the same thing.

[Dingfod]

I guess inland wave was not called back, the penis pump judge's jury selection starts Monday. (http://www.northcountrygazette.org/articles/060806JudgePumper.html) I wasn't called up either. :boohoo:

[Johnny Pneumatic]

I guess inland wave was not called back, the penis pump judge's jury selection starts Monday. (http://www.northcountrygazette.org/articles/060806JudgePumper.html) I wasn't called up either. :boohoo:

Well, that sucks.

[Dingfod]

That's what he said.

[epepke]

I tried one once. I got these weird little swellings, and my penis looked a bit like an alien vegetable, or like a really large piece of ginger. That went away, though. No damage.

[erimir]

I don't need any device to suck on my penis.

I can suck on my penis all by myself.

:wink:

[Dingfod]

:shock:

[Waluigi]

I can suck on my penis all by myself.
You're my hero.

[Mr & Mrs Smith]

Not that I spend my time reading penis pumps reviews but why does the movie industry show a Swedish Pump? For example Austin powers the gag with the pump with the swedish flag paint on it? Do they corner the market on pumps or what?
By the way some of the comments made me cry from laughing too much!

[peepnklown]

You cannot hate a Judge who was trying to multi-task.