Silly Misconceptions

[viscousmemories]

Until very recently I thought most people died relatively young and only a very few exceptionally lucky people lived as long as the average life expectancy. It honestly never occurred to me that "average life expectancy" means that the average person lives that long.

I know I'm not the only idiot in the world. What silly misconceptions have you held?

[Sweetie]

I know I've had many of them, silly misconceptions, but I can't recall any of them right now.

[lady cop]

well, i used to think Brits :unitedkingdom: were kinky :whipping:

[Socratoad]

I know I've had many of them, silly misconceptions, but I can't recall any of them right now.

Which reminds me of my most obvious misconception Sweetie. Under recently I thought I had a memory. :eek:

[Ymir's blood]

Until very recently I thought most people died relatively young and only a very few exceptionally lucky people lived as long as the average life expectancy. It honestly never occurred to me that "average life expectancy" means that the average person lives that long.

I know I'm not the only idiot in the world. What silly misconceptions have you held?
I suppose you know that half of all Americans have below average intelligence? :chin:

[viscousmemories]

Okay well at least y'all have assuaged my first fear. I'm clearly not the only idiot in the world. :D

Now lets hear some of your misconceptions!

[viscousmemories]

I suppose you know that half of all Americans have below average intelligence? :chin:
That reminds me of a funny comment someone made when I used to work at a hospital. He said, "Whenever you're dealing with a pompous doctor just remember: Fully 50% of the people with medical degrees graduated in the bottom half of their class."

[Clutch Munny]

I suppose you know that half of all Americans have below average intelligence? :chin:

Depends how you define 'average'. It wouldn't surprise me if more than half of all Americans were above average intelligence -- ie, the mean intelligence -- if some reasonable means of quantifying intelligence can be found. Roughly, this is what would happen if there were more (and more profound) idiots than geniuses to balance them out. That is, the idiots would drag the mean down so that more of us in the great central mass were on the high side of it.

If we use 'average' to denote the median, though, then by definition half are below average and half above.

[wade-w]

True Clutch. However in common parlance "average" is generally considered to be the arithmetic mean.

This thread reminds me of a story from an old scifi book. In it, someone is describing part of a political speech. Apparently the politician in question said something like "And we will continue down this path until all of our citizens have above average incomes!" and nobody laughed.

[Socratoad]

True Clutch. However in common parlance "average" is generally considered to be the arithmetic mean.

This thread reminds me of a story from an old scifi book. In it, someone is describing part of a political speech. Apparently the politician in question said something like "And we will continue down this path until all of our citizens have above average incomes!" and nobody laughed.

Keeeerist, thats a keeper. :rofl: :rofl: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[Dingfod]

True Clutch. However in common parlance "average" is generally considered to be the arithmetic mean.Common knowledge and common sense are two different things.

Too bad common sense isn't really all that common.

[Clutch Munny]

True Clutch. However in common parlance "average" is generally considered to be the arithmetic mean.

Well, there's no 'however'. 'And', maybe.

[viscousmemories]

True Clutch. However in common parlance "average" is generally considered to be the arithmetic mean.

Well, there's no 'however'. 'And', maybe.
I understand your complaint if you take 'however' to mean "on the contrary" (which is one definition dictionary.com gives) but another definition provided is 'nevertheless', which seems to make sense... :chin:

[Ymir's blood]

I suppose you know that half of all Americans have below average intelligence? :chin:If we use 'average' to denote the median, though, then by definition half are below average and half above.
Well the joke only works if you use 'average' that way.

[Dingfod]

If I am a mean mean bastard, does that mean there are just as many bastards meaner than I am as there are not as mean? What does it all those means mean? Am I just an average mean bastard or a mean mean bastard?

[viscousmemories]

If I am a mean mean bastard, does that mean there are just as many bastards meaner than I am as there are not as mean? What does it all those means mean? Am I just an average mean bastard or a mean mean bastard?
That all depends on what you mean by mean.

I had another silly misconception: I thought there would be a single other person here who at one time or another operated under a silly misconception about something.

[Socratoad]

Just thought of one. For years I operated under the misconception that I actually lived in a democracy. How bloody naive of me.

[Dingfod]

I'm such a well-researched pragmatistic skeptic that not too much has slipped past me in the past decade or so. I'm sure there has been some and probably still are right now (see the gun_loving warren thread), but, for the life of me, I cannot think of any.

[Socratoad]

I'm such a well-researched pragmatistic skeptic that not too much has slipped past me in the past decade or so. I'm sure there has been some and probably still are right now (see the gun_loving warren thread), but, for the life of me, I cannot think of any.


:yahoo: :mememe: :roflmao:

[Dingfod]

:yahoo: :mememe: :roflmao:En ingles, por favor. For the ilsmileyerate.

[Socratoad]

Not a damned thing, I plead not so temporary insanity.

[Ymir's blood]

If I am a mean mean bastard, does that mean there are just as many bastards meaner than I am as there are not as mean? What does it all those means mean? Am I just an average mean bastard or a mean mean bastard?
That all depends on what you mean by mean.

I had another silly misconception: I thought there would be a single other person here who at one time or another operated under a silly misconception about something.
I have many times in the past been under different misconceptions. Most of them are pretty awful things owing to my extremely isolated childhood. One that was more recently revealed (since getting online in 2000) and isn't painful concerns a song lyric. The song was Down Under by Men at Work. Being blissfully ignorant of what 'vegemite' was, I always thought the man was offering a 'vegematic sandwich.' Revealing this in chat at least provided amusement for juiblex and annoyance to Gurdur, who apparently dislikes the song...

[viscousmemories]

I have many times in the past been under different misconceptions. Most of them are pretty awful things owing to my extremely isolated childhood. One that was more recently revealed (since getting online in 2000) and isn't painful concerns a song lyric. The song was Down Under by Men at Work. Being blissfully ignorant of what 'vegemite' was, I always thought the man was offering a 'vegematic sandwich.' Revealing this in chat at least provided amusement for juiblex and annoyance to Gurdur, who apparently dislikes the song...
Thank you, Ymir's blood! Yes, that's quite silly.

On the other hand I was aware that they were saying 'vegemite' and simply thought they had made up the word for the purposes of the song. :doh:

[justaman]

Alright there was a very brief period of time where I thought there were fleas at flea markets :hide:

Also I thought it was the 'Sixteen Chapel'. :P

[Socratoad]

Alright there was a very brief period of time where I thought there were fleas at flea markets :hide:

Also I thought it was the 'Sixteen Chapel'. :P

Right with you there. I too thought there were fleas at flea markets. There probably are at some.

Years ago Neil Diamond had a song called "Forever in Bluejeans."

I thought he was singing forever in Blue's jeans. I thought it was a reference to an old girl friend

[Clutch Munny]

Years ago Neil Diamond had a song called "Forever in Bluejeans."

I thought he was singing forever in Blue's jeans. I thought it was a reference to an old girl friend

Ha! I thought it was 'Reverend Blue Jeans'.

My version's better than Neil's, in fact, so let's say that he was under the silly misconception.

[Blake]

Yeah, I think my version of Depeche Mode's "Blasphemous Rumours" ("I think that God's got a sixth sense of humour") is cleverer than the far more common "I think that God's got a sick sense of humour."

[lisarea]

I have craploads of these, but I think I do a fair job of obliterating them from my memory. This one stands out, though: You know the phrase "jew [something] down"? I guess I never saw it written down, so I thought it was "chew [something] down," as in flap your jaw in a chewing motion. I understood what it meant, even, but it was only when I saw someone on TV cite it as an example of intolerance that I realized what the phrase really was.

I am pretty sure I never used the "chew" version, just because it's not the sort of thing I would say for some reason. I hope I didn't, anyway.

[Socratoad]

When I was in grade five another boy two years older than me insisted the the term mouth orgsan was incorrect. Its called a mouse organ he insidted. So I started teasing him about this. He dared me to go home with him and speak to hismother. I was a cocky little bugger and so readily agreed to do just that. Can you even imagine my shock and confusion when his mother also insisted that little musical instrument was called a mouse organ. :eek:

The woman really got quite huffy with me. And so folks that is why I've been so fucked up to this very day :yup:

[Godless Dave]

Until just recently I was absolutely convinced that Kirstin Dunst grew up in Minnesota and was discovered at the Chanhassen Dinner Theater just as "Drop Dead Gorgeous" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0157503/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9ZHJvcCBkZWFkIGdvcmdlb3VzfGh0bWw9MXxubT1vbg__;fc=1;ft=4;fm=1) was beginning shooting. But then I found out different, she's not from Minnesota at all. And now I have no idea which actress I'm thinking of, because I know for sure I saw a young blonde actress on Conan O'Brien telling the story of growing up in Minnesota and being discovered at Chanhassen Dinner Theater. Who?

Aha! It's Amy Adams (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0010736/bio), who was in "Drop Dead Gorgeous".

[Dingfod]

One that was more recently revealed (since getting online in 2000) and isn't painful concerns a song lyric. The song was Down Under by Men at Work. Being blissfully ignorant of what 'vegemite' was, I always thought the man was offering a 'vegematic sandwich.' Revealing this in chat at least provided amusement for juiblex and annoyance to Gurdur, who apparently dislikes the song...And I thought the song said "He just smiled and gave me a bite of my sandwich". When you stop and think about it, it is pretty funny the way I heard it.

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a bite of my sandwich

[viscousmemories]

Until just recently I was absolutely convinced that Kirstin Dunst grew up in Minnesota and was discovered at the Chanhassen Dinner Theater just as "Drop Dead Gorgeous" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0157503/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9ZHJvcCBkZWFkIGdvcmdlb3VzfGh0bWw9MXxubT1vbg__;fc=1;ft=4;fm=1) was beginning shooting. But then I found out different, she's not from Minnesota at all. And now I have no idea which actress I'm thinking of, because I know for sure I saw a young blonde actress on Conan O'Brien telling the story of growing up in Minnesota and being discovered at Chanhassen Dinner Theater. Who?

Aha! It's Amy Adams (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0010736/bio), who was in "Drop Dead Gorgeous".
Except that page says she hails from Colorado, so you were apparently off on the "grew up in Minnesota" part. Just to pick a nit. Otherwise good find!

Edited to say: That was a stupid conclusion, actually. Just 'cause she hails from Colorado doesn't mean she didn't grow up in Minnesota. :doh:

[Ymir's blood]

And I thought the song said "He just smiled and gave me a bite of my sandwich". When you stop and think about it, it is pretty funny the way I heard it.

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a bite of my sandwich
This site has been around the block a few times, but maybe someone hasn't seen it: Kiss this guy (http://www.kissthisguy.com/) The title refers to the Hendrix lyric, "Excuse me while I kiss the sky," frequently misheard as 'kiss this guy.

Oh yeah, and warrenly, someone has already submitted your version. I hope you thought to © it.

[Dingfod]

These mishearings of lyrics are known as mondegreens (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen). Read the wikipedia entry in the link, you may find it interesting.

[Dingfod]

These mishearings of lyrics are known as mondegreens (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen). Read the wikipedia entry in the link, you may find it interesting.snopes (http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/humor/mondegreens.asp) has a herd of Xmas mondegreens in this link.

[Ymir's blood]

Oh yeah, and warrenly, someone has already submitted your version. I hope you thought to © it.
I edited and added this after you posted, sorry.

[LadyShea]

Although I knew "intensive purposes" wasn't correct, I had to ask livius what the actual phrase was. "Intents and purposes" makes complete sense of course, but I had never really seen it in writing.

When I was about 4-5, I thought other people only breathed when they were lying down (because that's the only time I could actually see them breathing IIRC). I thought something was wrong with me and tried to hold my breath when I was standing or walking.

[viscousmemories]

Funny, I corrected my last girlfriend on her lifelong misconception of "intents and purposes" as "intensive purposes".

When my sister was little she thought that city "water towers" were "water towels", for use in case of floods.

When I was very young I thought I was the only Tom in the world, and when I saw someone named Tom on TV and my family explained the truth to me, I cried intensely.

[lisarea]

When I was very young I thought I was the only Tom in the world, and when I saw someone named Tom on TV and my family explained the truth to me, I cried intensely.

Should I feel guilty for laughing just now?

You poor thing. I hope they broke the Dicks and Harrys to you gently.

[viscousmemories]

Should I feel guilty for laughing just now?
I'd be hurt if you didn't.

Laugh, that is.

You poor thing. I hope they broke the Dicks and Harrys to you gently.
Ironically I've hated my name as unimaginative and stupid for as long as I can remember, and it didn't even occur to me until I was typing that anecdote that the probable reason for that is the shock of finding out my name wasn't unique.

I don't remember how or when they broke the Dick Harrys to me, but fortunately my Dad didn't play that Santa stuff, so I didn't have to add insult to injury.

[Ymir's blood]

Ironically I've hated my name as unimaginative and stupid for as long as I can remember, and it didn't even occur to me until I was typing that anecdote that the probable reason for that is the shock of finding out my name wasn't unique.
Hah, try growing up with an unusual first name. :glare:

Perhaps you could start spelling your name Thom, and pronouncing it 'Throatwarbler Mangrove."

[viscousmemories]

Ironically I've hated my name as unimaginative and stupid for as long as I can remember, and it didn't even occur to me until I was typing that anecdote that the probable reason for that is the shock of finding out my name wasn't unique.
Hah, try growing up with an unusual first name. :glare:
I can only imagine. But I suspect Blood is a fairly uncommon last name, too.

Thomas generates 98,100,000 hits on Google, and the top sponsored link:

Thomas
Thomas for sale. aff
Check out the deals now!
www.eBay.com

Perhaps you could start spelling your name Thom, and pronouncing it 'Throatwarbler Mangrove."
When I met livius and told her about my dissatisfaction with my name, she dubbed me with the European flairing Tomas. But though I'm used to her calling me that by now, it still sounds weird coming from others. Even written.

[livius drusus]

I thought the original Star Trek series was new when I watched it on 80s Italian television. I didn't realize it was 20 years old until I happened upon a 1968 issue of Mad magazine at a church bazar which featured a (hilarious) ST parody.

Oh, and vm keeps neglecting to mention his cool middle name which makes his whole name quite rare, I'm sure.

[Ymir's blood]

I can only imagine. But I suspect Blood is a fairly uncommon last name, too.
Not in the West Indies, I imagine. 'In like Flynn' they used to say. :wink:
Thomas generates 98,100,000 hits on Google, and the top sponsored link:

Thomas
Thomas for sale. aff
Check out the deals now!
www.eBay.com
Selling yourself on eBay? For shame, you dirty boy. :pimpin:

Okay, just noticed this one and had to use it :humping:
Perhaps you could start spelling your name Thom, and pronouncing it 'Throatwarbler Mangrove."
When I met livius and told her about my dissatisfaction with my name, she dubbed me with the European flairing Tomas. But though I'm used to her calling me that by now, it still sounds weird coming from others. Even written.Tomas, or not Tomas, that is the question. :write:

[Socratoad]

When I was a young boy I was quite frightened by those little insects called earwigs as I thought they lived in ears.

Needless to say I was absolutely terrified of cockroaches.

[viscousmemories]

When I was a young boy I was quite frightened by those little insects called earwigs as I thought they lived in ears.

Needless to say I was absolutely terrified of cockroaches.
:roflmao:

[Shake]

Mondegreens. What a cool word! I had no idea there was a word for such things.

A former co-worker in the USAF told me about the misinterpretation of:
"Smoke on the water/Fire in the sky" as
"Slow cousin Walter, the fire engine guy"

Great guitar lick in that song, btw.

[Clutch Munny]

Although I knew "intensive purposes" wasn't correct, I had to ask livius what the actual phrase was. "Intents and purposes" makes complete sense of course, but I had never really seen it in writing.

Great example of this misconception, and a nice illustration of the interaction between phonetic and semantic linguistic processing: Years back I was the TA for an intro class in which one assignment question related to a section in the text that used the phrase "for all intents and purposes". Probably 30% of the class, say 20 people total, mildly plagiarized by using all or most of that particular sentence from the text. But -- here's the weird bit -- half of them, maybe 10 people altogether, reworked it to read "for all intensive purposes".

They "correctly" plagiarized the stuff on either side of the phrase, but rewrote the phrase itself to accord with their phonetic representation of it. Did they think the book had it wrong? Was it wholly unconscious? I never found out, but I really, really wish that I had.

[Ensign Steve]

And I thought the song said "He just smiled and gave me a bite of my sandwich". When you stop and think about it, it is pretty funny the way I heard it.

I thought he said, "he just smiled and gave me a piece of his cheese sandwich." :shrug:

My mom says 'for all intensive purposes' and she also says 'a whole nother' and other things that make me crazy but I can't think of what. She knows they're wrong, but she says them because she knows they make me crazy. I get back at her by saying 'fustrated.' heh

[Godless Wonder]

"Slow cousin Walter, the fire-engine guy"
Haha. Reminds me of AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Chief."

I once thought there was a letter in the alphabet between K and P called Elemenno.

For a little while I thought "motorcade" was pronounced "motorsodd" (because of the word "facade" I guess, which I knew wasn't pronounced "fukkaid.")

[viscousmemories]

I just have to say that so far the "slow cousin Walter" bit is the funniest thing I've heard in my entire life, and it makes me laugh out loud every time I think of it - which of course I do to the music.

[wade-w]

In the misunderstood song lyrics vein, until just today I thought the last line of The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down was


"I swear by the mud below my feet, you can't raise a Caine back up when he's in the feed."


Turns out it is "in defeat," not "in the feed."

[LadyShea]

Great example of this misconception, and a nice illustration of the interaction between phonetic and semantic linguistic processing: Years back I was the TA for an intro class in which one assignment question related to a section in the text that used the phrase "for all intents and purposes". Probably 30% of the class, say 20 people total, mildly plagiarized by using all or most of that particular sentence from the text. But -- here's the weird bit -- half of them, maybe 10 people altogether, reworked it to read "for all intensive purposes".

They "correctly" plagiarized the stuff on either side of the phrase, but rewrote the phrase itself to accord with their phonetic representation of it. Did they think the book had it wrong? Was it wholly unconscious? I never found out, but I really, really wish that I had.

That's really interesting! I wonder if they wrote the sentences from short term memory rather than copy it word for word. I have done that because I am a terrible typist, so I will memorize a sentence or two, type them, then look back at the document for the next little bit.

[Ymir's blood]

In the misunderstood song lyrics vein, until just today I thought the last line of The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down was


"I swear by the mud below my feet, you can't raise a Caine back up when he's in the feed."


Turns out it is "in defeat," not "in the feed."
Heh, I thought it was "You can't raise the cain back up when it's in the field."

Looking at copy of the lyrics made me realize that there is a reference to Stoneman's cavalry. The counties of Watauga (where I live) and Wilkes in NC are practically littered with markers referencing 'Stoneman's Raid.'

[wade-w]

Looking at copy of the lyrics made me realize that there is a reference to Stoneman's cavalry. The counties of Watauga (where I live) and Wilkes in NC are practically littered with markers referencing 'Stoneman's Raid.'

That's understandable if you've only heard the Joan Baez cover. She sang it as:


Virgil Caine is the name and I drove on the Danville train,
til so much cavalry came and tore up the tracks again.


As written by Robbie Robertson of The Band it goes:


Virgil Caine is the name and I served on the Danville train,
til Stoneman's Cavalry came, and tore up the tracks again.

[Clutch Munny]

Great example of this misconception, and a nice illustration of the interaction between phonetic and semantic linguistic processing: Years back I was the TA for an intro class in which one assignment question related to a section in the text that used the phrase "for all intents and purposes". Probably 30% of the class, say 20 people total, mildly plagiarized by using all or most of that particular sentence from the text. But -- here's the weird bit -- half of them, maybe 10 people altogether, reworked it to read "for all intensive purposes".

They "correctly" plagiarized the stuff on either side of the phrase, but rewrote the phrase itself to accord with their phonetic representation of it. Did they think the book had it wrong? Was it wholly unconscious? I never found out, but I really, really wish that I had.

That's really interesting! I wonder if they wrote the sentences from short term memory rather than copy it word for word. I have done that because I am a terrible typist, so I will memorize a sentence or two, type them, then look back at the document for the next little bit.

That's what I hope happened, because that would be a nifty example of an acoustic representation just yanking the ball away from the plain-as-day and very recent visual impression of the phrase.

Minds are funny old things. I love 'em!

[viscousmemories]

Acoustic representation.

I've never heard that phrase, but it's nice to have a name for the bane of my existence. I'm convinced that the reason I'm such a slow reader and dense texts (ahem: philo) are virtually impenetrable is because I sound out every. single. word. as I read. Of course it makes me a good proofreader but it makes me a really crappy reader.

[maddog]

My mind often doesn't go the way other people's minds do. 'Way back in first or second grade, when they teach you to tell time, they did it by saying, "When the BIG hand is on the ___, and the LITTLE hand is on the ___, then it's x o'clock." Well, I can find ambiguity in things where other people don't. What do they mean by "the BIG hand"? Do they mean the TALL one, or the FAT one? What do they mean by "the LITTLE hand"? Do they mean the SHORT one, or the SKINNY one? To this day, I cannot easily tell analog time.

I get geographical ideas mixed up, too. Where I grew up, the mountains were to the north. Where I went to college, the closest mountains were to the east. I was 90 degrees transposed in that town for the whole three years. The streets I thought were north/south were actually east/west, and vice versa. And north is at the top of the map. So how can water flow north? It can't flow uphill, can it? Rivers flowing north still bother me (except the Nile . . . but that's in the southern hemisphere, right?)

#145

[wade-w]

Rivers flowing north still bother me (except the Nile . . . but that's in the southern hemisphere, right?)


Nope. The source is pretty much right on the equator, but the river itself is in the northern hemisphere.

[maddog]

Rivers flowing north still bother me (except the Nile . . . but that's in the southern hemisphere, right?)


Nope. The source is pretty much right on the equator, but the river itself is in the northern hemisphere.
I must've forgotten to put the "wink" smilie on my earlier post!! :wink: :didi: :tongueincheek:

#146

[viscousmemories]

Okay I had just typed a big long post to try to say something that's too complicated for me to express. My essential point was: Yeah, I found the whole orientation thing hard too when I was younger. Part of what confused me is that expressways curve. So on short trips you sometimes have to take a 'west' highway to go south, etc. Confusing.

[Godless Dave]

They "correctly" plagiarized the stuff on either side of the phrase, but rewrote the phrase itself to accord with their phonetic representation of it. Did they think the book had it wrong? Was it wholly unconscious?

As a linguist, my guess is it was wholly unconscious. I had the experience that when I learned to touch-type I started making more phonetic-based typos, like "there" for "their", etc.

[Godless Dave]

When I first heard Jimi Hendrix's music (at age 15 or so), I just assumed he was white.