Books to avoid.

[Deadlokd]

I'm starting this thread as a public service. I want to save you good people time. I don't want you wasting any of your precious life reading tripe. So please, everyone, if you have read crap, list it here and save the rest of us.

Left Behind - Long winded, christian claptrap. Much potential energy, zero kinetic energy.

[LadyShea]

The Sword of Truth series- Kahlan and Richard save the world. Then they save it again. Then again. During their travels they come in contact with people and political systems very similar to those we have here on Earth...for example the author uses his fantasy to illustrate the bureaucracy inherent in Communism or something...amongst other things. It's very contrived. The only interesting bit is a specific set of characters called the Mord Sith because they kick ass and look beautiful while doing so (though it seems possibly a way for the author to express his fascination with S&M and B&D). Maybe a fluffy summer read if you don't want to be bothered to think for a few hours.

In other Christian Fiction, This Present Darkness plus its sequel by Frank Peretti. Warrior angels and demons battle it out amongst us unseen. Ridiculous.

[Kyuss Apollo]

It by Stephen King. An excellent book up to the last 40 pages, it is completely derailed by an ending so stupid and nonsensical it defies imagination...a :turtle: and a :spider2:? C'mon, wtf?!

You'll never get those wasted hours back. Spend them doing something, anything else.

[viscousmemories]

I read It 20 years ago, but the way I remember it was "250 pages of interesting storyline, 600 pages of mind-numbingly boring backstory, 250 pages of interesting wrap-up". It took me a week to finish it (reading 24x7) but since I was locked in an arms room in the field I literally had nothing better to do.

[LadyShea]

I am a huge Stephen King fan, despite his inability to end a story. I have just taken to accept that no matter how much I love a story of his the ending will suck (with the exception of Dark Tower which was a non-ending) and try to enjoy the story anyway. It was a perfect example. Pennywise terrified me, I was engrossed in the story...then a giant alien spider...wtf happened to the scary clown?

[livius drusus]

I couldn't finish the last Dark Tower book. After years of waiting for the final volume, I was devastated to find the sucky ending curse kicked in pretty much on page 1.

[Deadlokd]

I agree. I can't read King now. He used to be good, he used to have good ideas, but his endings always sucked. Now he isn't even that good. I guess he's rich enough to be able to be crap now.

I much prefer Koontz. His newer work tends to stay in the psychological drama sphere rather than the paranormal, but is excellent nonetheless. I recommend The Husband and Velocity. The Taking was another end-of-days book that met my standards:cool:

[maddog]

Miguel de Cervantes's "Don Quixote" was the first book I did not finish. I struggled through the entire first book, but there are only so many times that a sad, loony old man can be beat to a bloody pulp and have it be interesting, let alone entertaining or funny. All the iconic scenes, such as tilting at windmills, were barely- or un-recognizable in their original context. I started to read the second book (yes, there's a second one!) and I simply stopped.

#1237

[The Lone Ranger]

Miguel de Cervantes's "Don Quixote" was the first book I did not finish. I struggled through the entire first book, but there are only so many times that a sad, loony old man can be beat to a bloody pulp and have it be interesting, let alone entertaining or funny. All the iconic scenes, such as tilting at windmills, were barely- or un-recognizable in their original context. I started to read the second book (yes, there's a second one!) and I simply stopped.

#1237


Oh gods, let me second that one!

It is the worst book. I read it years ago and hated it. It was nothing like what I thought it would be. I tried reading it again about 2 years ago, thinking I must have missed something the first time around. It was even worse the second time around, and I gave up after a few chapters.

Cervantes just goes on and on and on and on -- long past the point where the reader has lost interest.



What amazes me is that almost every modern critique or interpretation of Don Quixote I've seen or read seems to assume that Don Quixote is an admirable character, worthy of emulation. For example, that is the central message of the famous musical "Man of La Mancha," in which we're encouraged to think that Quixote's inability to see the world as it truly is ennobles him and inspires those who meet him to try to better themselves.

Apparently, the people who think that were only reading the Cliff's notes, because the one thing that's abundantly clear in Don Quixote, it seems to me, is that Cervantes very-definitely did not want the reader to view Don Quixote as either heroic or admirable.

In the book, Don Quixote is a buffoon, coward and bully. Far from being humble, he's downright vain; he's supremely self-centered and a non-stop braggart. He isn't the slightest bit interested in helping people -- he wants one thing and one thing only -- glory. His madness, far from earning him the admiration of those around him makes him a laughing-stock and brings shame and disgrace upon him and his family. Despite this, they selflessly try to help him, sometimes at great risk to themselves. (This contrasts sharply with how his "friends" and family are portrayed in the musical, where they're depicted as selfish and petty).


Far from being courageous, he runs from a fight if he doesn't think he can win, or sneaks away. All the time, he insists to Sancho Panza that he's simply the most courageous knight who ever existed.

And Sancho, by the way, is no simpleton in the book. Quite the opposite; he's shrewd and competent, and fully aware that his "master" is a madman.


Don Quixote frees murderers and cutthroats from prison, leaving them free to roam the countryside and do mischief. He attacks innocent people on more than one occasion, sometimes doing them grave injury.


In the end, he dies in his bed -- a broken man who curses the madness that led him to make himself a laughing-stock, bring shame and distress upon his family and friends, and to do real harm to several perfectly innocent people.



It seemed to me perfectly clear from reading Don Quixote that Cervantes' message was not that Don Quixote was an admirable fellow -- but rather that his refusal to see the world as it really is caused serious injury to quite a lot of people, and ultimately killed him. Don Quixote was an object lesson: "Don't let your imagination run away with you; it's important to see the world as it really is -- otherwise, very bad things will follow, because the World has no pity on fools or madmen." Or such seemed very clear to me upon reading Don Quixote. Why so many people seem to think that Cervantes was trying to convey almost exactly the opposite message I've never really understood.

I can only assume it's because most readers quickly tire of the book and only skim it for the highlights. But, I think, the seemingly-endless descriptions of the cruelties Don Quixote inflicts on others and the suffering he endures as a result of his refusal to face reality are the point. He's no hero, not even a tragic one, and I don't think Cervantes ever intended anyone to take him for one.


If you ever decide to read Don Quixote and you want to actually enjoy the process, I can only suggest that you try to find a greatly abridged version.

Cheers,

Michael

[ceptimus]

http://ceptimus.co.uk/freethought/images/tilting.gif

[The Lone Ranger]

http://ceptimus.co.uk/freethought/images/tilting.gif

:foocl:

[Ari]

Gulliver's Travels. It's the same basic thinly veiled criticism of society and government told multiple times in multiple stories. It would be better done as a couple short stories.

[Qingdai]

My Life in Orange. I wanted to read about how Rajneeshis are a nutso cult, the inside scoop.
I didn't want to read a bunch of pages of a guy whining about his mother (who joined nusto cult in question) wasn't a good mother. Duh! NUSTO CULT JOINER!

I can't really think of a non-nuts cult though.

[biochemgirl]

Atonement by Ian McEwan. Maybe it's my short attention span as of late but I just could not get into it no matter how hard I tried.

[wildernesse]

Atonement by Ian McEwan. Maybe it's my short attention span as of late but I just could not get into it no matter how hard I tried.

Although I have the same problem with Amsterdam by him, I really liked Atonement. (But I did think it was ho-hum until probably half way through.) I think you have to be in some kind of undefineable ready mindset for his books.


I would add anything by Don Delillo, whose writing I absolutely detest, and not just because my first quarter of college I was subjected to two of his books.

[viscousmemories]

I seem to remember really liking Americana, but I couldn't get into The White Album and the sheer size of Underworld turned me off, though both are still on my bookshelf.

[LadyShea]

NUSTO CULT JOINER

Stolen. I may need a new title.

[Nullifidian]

NUSTO CULT JOINER

Stolen. I may need a new title.

You should join me, since yguy has proclaimed me a potential next incarnation of Jim Jones.

:preach:

[Qingdai]

Well, anything for the cause, steal away.
I didn't know "distracted" could lead to "nutso cult joiner," I must pay more attention.

I saw where you were complimented by yguy. "Don't drink the reality kool aide" came to mind.

[Watser?]

Atonement by Ian McEwan. Maybe it's my short attention span as of late but I just could not get into it no matter how hard I tried.

Oh, I liked that one. Though it may not be all it's cracked up to be it is a pretty good book IMO.

[Dingfod]

I too waded my way though all 800 or so pages of the paperback version of Miguel Cervantes 'Don Quixote' and agree with Michael's assessment. I came away from it thinking Cervantes purposely portrayed the idealistic idiot, Don Quixote, in a way that would make him appear despicable. In other words, the moral of the story: Don't go tilting at windmills, they're not giants, you idiot. I wouldn't trade that five months of my life for anything.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I am a huge Stephen King fan, despite his inability to end a story.

THANK YOU! My god, I have had the exact same complaint about him for years, and get nothing but patient stares from the fanbase. But he couldn't write an ending to save his life.

It, I agree, was a great read until the last 40 pages. At which point, King's unhealthy and unnerving fascination with pre/early teen sex turns the book into crap. To say nothing of a giant spider. Seriously, what the f...?

[SharonDee]

Oh, no, I know y'all ain't dissin' my man King!

Is there anyone who doesn't know that I hate almost everything Anne Rice wrote from The Tale of the Body Thief to the present? Because I'd really hate to bore everyone if you've heard me bitch about this before.

Oh, and Dean Koontz? I don't know how his later novels are, but the ones I read that were copyright early to mid-80's were total crap. What is with the whole "let's make the protagonists fall in love while they're battling demons and stuff"? Lame-O!

[Crumb]

Read only one Dean Koontz book and you have read them all. So read Lightning, it's the best one.

[LadyShea]

I stopped reading Koontz for years during his "government experiments in paranormal phenomenon and brainwashing" stage. Started reading him again with the absolutely wonderful Odd Thomas series and imaginative, enjoyable Frankenstein series

[Blake]

Martin Chuzzlewit: crappiest Dickens ever.

[Dingfod]

And not much of a title either.

[Leesifer]

Oh, no, I know y'all ain't dissin' my man King!

Is there anyone who doesn't know that I hate almost everything Anne Rice wrote from The Tale of the Body Thief to the present? Because I'd really hate to bore everyone if you've heard me bitch about this before.

Oh, and Dean Koontz? I don't know how his later novels are, but the ones I read that were copyright early to mid-80's were total crap. What is with the whole "let's make the protagonists fall in love while they're battling demons and stuff"? Lame-O!

I'm your girl, Sharon. I mainly love Stephen King, and yes I am aware of his crappy endings on occasion, but I still love "most" of his books.

And Anne Rice - I have a big hate for her as an author because of how her books changed. I loved the early vampire books and I loved the first Mayfair witches book. Then, hearing that she was linking them up, I was all "excellent". But. :nojustno:.

However, I do have a slight liking for the book "Merrick" because I did like her character but then that all went stupid at the end.

The best quote about Dean Koontz I have is from the rinkworks.com website:

Badguy
I'm crazy, so I will do something evil and scary.
Male Lead
I'll use my CIA/NSA/Navy Seals/Green Beret/Marine/Army Ranger/Boy Scout training to stop him.
(He doesn't. Everybody gets CHASED around Southern California. Somebody steals a CAR and changes its LICENSE PLATE. The villain seems to be SUPERNATURAL, but he's just using SCIENCE to seem SCARY, just like in SCOOBY DOO. Male Lead STOPS him.)

Female Lead
I love you.
Male Lead
I'm rich. Let's live happily ever after.




THE END

[Deadlokd]

How very dare you diss the Koontz! Read The Husband. And The Taking. Very good. Lightning was good too. I'm reading False Memory now (after dropping Left Behind), so far so good. Autophobia sounds crappy.

[biochemgirl]

Atonement by Ian McEwan. Maybe it's my short attention span as of late but I just could not get into it no matter how hard I tried.

Although I have the same problem with Amsterdam by him, I really liked Atonement. (But I did think it was ho-hum until probably half way through.) I think you have to be in some kind of undefineable ready mindset for his books.



That was probably my problem. I've been a bit distracted lately. I'll have to try it sometime when I can give it more concentration.

[Potato]

Stephen King's Desperation completely sucked.

[SharonDee]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2pn2VaLv90

:giggles:

[godfry n. glad]

Page two of this thread, and I cannot believe that no one has mentioned

Dianetics, by L. Ron Hubbard

For that matter, anything by L. Ron Hubbard.

Das Kapital, by Karl Marx, was pretty sucky, too.

[Kyuss Apollo]

Mrs. KA would like to say "Saving Fish From Drowning by Amy Tan was just awful."

I remember asking her about while she reading this past summer, and she kept waiting for it to get better. It never did.

[Deadlokd]

I have to add War and Peace. It was wayyyy too long and while the "Cast of Characters" at the beginning was useful, it did suck having to refer back to it. I thought I had a memory before I read that.

[Stormlight]

Page two of this thread, and I cannot believe that no one has mentioned

Dianetics, by L. Ron Hubbard

For that matter, anything by L. Ron Hubbard.

Das Kapital, by Karl Marx, was pretty sucky, too.

Or Mein Kampf, for that matter. Utterly unreadable bollocks.

[Sock Puppet]

Is there anyone who doesn't know that I hate almost everything Anne Rice wrote from The Tale of the Body Thief to the present? Because I'd really hate to bore everyone if you've heard me bitch about this before.
* Sock Puppet cheers the home team.

I've bitched about Anne Rice before myself, but I'll be happy to do it again. I liked Interview, loooved Lestat, and thought Queen of the Damned was at least decent. So I bought Body Thief in hardcover when it first came out. I have never subjected myself to such predictable, hackneyed claptrap in my entire friggin' life. Once in awhile I'll be curious about another of Rice's books, but then I'll remind myself: "Self, remember Tale of the Body Thief. Rice is dead to us now."

Parts of Mein Kampf are useful to read, but I wouldn't try or recommend reading it cover to cover. There are some interesting passages on Hitler's use of propaganda, especially since several of the methods described are still in widespread use today.

Lessee ... not yet mentioned: Any of David Eddings' Belgariwhatever series. He does decent characterizations and dialogue, but he couldn't come up with a good plot to save his life. The first two series have exactly the same plot, which wasn't even original or engaging the first time he used it. And he seems to be incapable of coming up with anything for his characters to do if they're not traveling somewhere. I'd be surprised if any of his books have characters spending more than 24 hours of story-time in one goddamned city/village.

[SharonDee]

It's necromancy time! (If less than two weeks since activity = dead thread.)
:wmummy:
Read only one Dean Koontz book and you have read them all. So read Lightning, it's the best one.Thank you for this recommendation, Crumb. I got this title at the library and enjoyed it very much. I totally didn't see the time travelers being Nazis from 1944 coming. Well played.

How very dare you diss the Koontz! Read The Husband. And The Taking. Very good. Lightning was good too.It's library night so I'll be looking for these on the shelves. Thanks for the recommendation.

Oh, lest anyone think I believe my man King can do now wrong ... I am rereading The Tommyknockers (proving that I am very desperate for something to read) and it hurts. Hurts! (Still can't put it down, though.)

[viscousmemories]

Huh, I remember enjoying The Tommyknockers. Alas that's all I remember about it.

[Crumb]

No one sees that coming Sharon. It really threw me for a loop. That's why its the best one. If you are going to read that book do not read SharonDee's spoiler. It's a real spoiler. :yup:

[beyelzu]

Read only one Dean Koontz book and you have read them all. So read Lightning, it's the best one.

twilight eyes was also really good


and strangers was pretty good

[beyelzu]

I am a huge Stephen King fan, despite his inability to end a story.

THANK YOU! My god, I have had the exact same complaint about him for years, and get nothing but patient stares from the fanbase. But he couldn't write an ending to save his life.

It, I agree, was a great read until the last 40 pages. At which point, King's unhealthy and unnerving fascination with pre/early teen sex turns the book into crap. To say nothing of a giant spider. Seriously, what the f...?

i have no problem with the way it ends

i thought it was cool.

[beyelzu]

yes it is quite the spoiler


and for the crap of the crap books, the ones that ladyshea mentioned, the sword of truth series

every other book is worth reading

numbers one and three are pretty good

the morsith rock

much of the series does completely suck

especially avoid soul of the fire