Memorable email spams

[Socratoad]

I think that sharing some of your most outrageous and/or memorable spam experiences just might be a little fun, and perhaps enlightening.

This idea just came to me now as I was checking my email. The usual crap offering to make my member grow to humongous lengths; how to make my woman REALLY happy; offers to help me become so wealthy that even Bill Gates would look underprivileged, various pills, etc

But this one made me laugh: Someone calling herself Bernadine R. Hardhearted has just informed me the she wants me ... NOW.

Now folks my heart is going pitter patter as I try to type this. Can ya imagine, sweet Bernadine wants little ole me, and now already yet. My my I am a lucky fellow. And sweet Bernadine has such good taste in men, doncha think.

[Socratoad]

I just realized that its been quite some time since some beautiful widow in Nigeria has offered to share a fortune with me if I would help her to rescue said fortune from the clutches of a heartless corrupt regime. All these sweet princesses required from me was that I send them a few measly thousand dollars to prove good faith.

I could kick my self for being just so damned paranoid. Hell at this moment I could be ordering a top O the line puter for Lady Cop. Why I could be ordering puters foe everyone on the board!

And that dear friends is why :toad: is such a fucking loser. He just has never been able to recognize a golden opportunity, even when it smacks him upside the head.

[JoeP]

:toad:, plenty of people have been calling on my discreet assistance to transfer large sums of money recently. No let-up there. (Of course, when I say recently, I mean recently I scanned through all the mails I thought were spam for the past two months. One of them was a genuine business contact, so I was right not to delete them all ... but it was no use being two months late.)

My first unwanted mail of the new year was from one Rectifies H. Cunnilingus - that got my attention - but I think it was a virus not a spam as the content had been cleaned out by my ISP.

It's amazing how different the spam I get is (I have 5 or so distinct email accounts). On one, I have won an amazing number of lotteries recently. Another is largely the above 419 scams. Yet another is nearly all drug ads. The 4th is mostly small business stuff - cheap hosting, cheap software, etc.

[Socratoad]

I sometimes have difficulties placing names with nationalities.

For instance I can't decide whether the charming name Rectifies H. Cunnilingus is Finnish or Magyar. Possibly its Basque :chin:

[Dingfod]

Most of my spam is from some people somewhere that think I need 1) Viagra or Herbal Viagra, 2) Hot Teen Virgins, or 3) Penis Enhancement, not necessarily in that order.

[Socratoad]

Its just possible warren that those altruistic people are psychic. :D

[Dingfod]

Its just possible warren that those altruistic people are psychic. :DThey must be fortune-tellers, because they'd have to be telling the future to decide I need any of those.

[wade-w]

I have had my current ISP for 2 years now. I have yet to get my first spam at that address. I have never received a Nigerian scam at any address. I guess I'm just not as popular as you guys.

[Socratoad]

I have had my current ISP for 2 years now. I have yet to get my first spam at that address. I have never received a Nigerian scam at any address. I guess I'm just not as popular as you guys.

Oh wow Wade, your ISP must have a great spam filtering service. I've really got to get a better software solution. The amount of spam I receive is driving me mad ..... yes I know, that would be a very short drive.

One of the reasons I get so much shit is because a former lover and now good friend is just so damned indiscriminate/naive in her browsing.. I know this because we have a couple of pet names for each other and so damn many of the spams I receive use those names that only her and I knew. No sense me even trying to teach her anything she is just so fucking naive that when a spammer offers her a bargain away she goes applying for the non-existent crap. Oh well, it will be an interesting challenge for me to stem the tide of filth.

PS; this same person is always sending those damn chain lettera and jookes to everybody. Ya know the kind, those with forty or so peoples emial addies included. Damn I hate that shit.

[Dingfod]

I have had my current ISP for 2 years now. I have yet to get my first spam at that address. I have never received a Nigerian scam at any address. I guess I'm just not as popular as you guys.You want me to send them your email address? I'd be happy to oblige.

[wade-w]

Oh wow Wade, your ISP must have a great spam filtering service. I've really got to get a better software solution. The amount of spam I receive is driving me mad ..... yes I know, that would be a very short drive.


Not really. This is actually the worst ISP I've ever had. The only reason I use them is that as bad as they are, they are better than the alternatives here. I doubt they got just that one feature right. I'm just very very careful about giving out that address.

[Dingfod]

Where wade-w lives, they might be so far behind the times, spam hasn't gotten around to his isp server yet.

[wade-w]

That's quite possible, Warrenly.

[viscousmemories]

I let Yahoo! put all suspected spam in a junk mail folder, then I only download the inbox to my Outlook. So only a couple of the 200+ spams I get each day make it through. :yup:

[Blake]

I'm just very very careful about giving out that address.
I figured you had to be! I was happily spam-free, or virtually so, for a few years. Then I made the mistake of listing my email address in an online directory. I've been screwed ever since.

[viscousmemories]

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[livius drusus]

Hey cool! I wanna see proof they exist! Or wait... Is it that damn room with the screaming batboy thing? I've fallen for that one at least 4 times already. :shakefist:

[Corona688]

Bash is a goldmine for these. <@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?
<Spike> Spam email title: "Did you get your dsjtlkasjt today?"
<Spike> Why no, no I did not.(treaz0n4) msn sent me a 4 page report on how to report spammers

[viscousmemories]

:chuckle: