Pests (Homage to iidb)

[davidm]

Pests

This is Act One of a two-act play in homage to the Internet Infidels Discussion Board (Infantile Discussion Board in the play), on the occasion of its “Pesting” (i.e., banning) of RED DAVE from its political forums, which is sort of like banning Christ from Church.

The second act will be posted later. The play is a satire of iidb, but it has a more serious purpose; which is that I am experimenting with the idea of elevating the “form” of Internet message boards to the literary level of novels and short stories, poetry and plays.

That is, I am trying to create a new literary form: the “message board thread”, which ideally is intended to be viewed on a computer, particularly since in these threads key roles will be played by smilies, some of which are animated, and also by hypertext links. It follows that just as a play can be read in print but it is better to view the play live on stage, so too can the literary form of the “thread” be read in print, but it would be better to read it online.

This exercise in skewering iidb (which is pretty effortless, given that iidb is practically a self-satire) is thus really nothing more than a warm-up to explore the literary potential of Threads. To that end I am also currently adapting Beckett’s Waiting for Godot as a Thread, with smilie participation; however it is likely that I will not be able to post or publish that project, given copyright concerns. But I regard that project, like this one, as a warm-up in developing this new art form.

Lastly, what follows will obviously be appreciated mainly and perhaps exclusively by those who have had some experience with iidb, and in particular by those who have had first-hand experience with the humor-free, self-important, sanctimonious blowhards who run the place.

I now present Act One of “Pests.”


Dramatis Personae:

The Smother Michael (an Internet Infantile officer and an iidb admin)

Mediocritycat (an iidb moderator)

Crazy-assfingers (an iidb moderator)

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid? (an iidb moderator in the Evolution/Creation forum)

Various smilies in supporting roles; the usual hoard: :slide: :toiletdance: :dancing: :happydance: :dancers: :spin: :slowdance: :hula: :belly: :dance: :ghostdance: :bundance:

A Smilie Chorus :singing: With a Single Malcontent (see below) that will comment on the proceedings between the two acts, and at the end of the play.

The malcontent -- :glare:

A big pile of stinky :cheese:, probably gruyere.

Five monkeys in a conga line of buttsex: :monkeybuttsex:

Michael Jackson: :mj:

A big, steaming pile of :shit:




Scene:
A secret admin/moderator thread somewhere deep in the ineffable bowels of the inscrutable iidb.

Curtain rises
On stage, a giant computer screen confronts the audience. The play consists solely of scrolling text on the screen, reproducing the message board thread that is the subject of the play. No humans – or at least none with any human personality – appear during the course of the play, except for the smilies.

The Smother Michael
Did you folks know that I’m both an administrator and an officer? I have two key titles.

Crazy-assfingers
My fingers are bothering me again.

Mediocritycat
Maverick has a saying that I like: “If a stalk of corn stands too tall among its peers, it quickly gets cut down to size.” Poetry!

The Smother Michael
It says so in my sig: “II Officer, IIDB admin. …”

Mediocritycat
We know, TSM.

The Smother Michael
Are you “goading and baiting” me, Mediocritycat?

Mediocritycat
Of course not, Michael! I worship the input fields that you type in! You know that! If you were to post a jpeg (or even a gif!) of your ass, my computer monitor would be covered with the lip slobber of my devotion.

The Smother Michael
Because if you are “goading and baiting me,” Mediocritycat, I can “Pest.” you. I have that power, you know. Sure, I do!

Mediocritycat
Michael, you can’t “Pest” me! I’m part of the IIDB “power team!” …Um, aren’t I?

Crazy-assfingers
This morning I injected my fingers with Thorazine, but it didn’t help. All it did was make them swell up. I can still hear the voices in my crazy-ass fingers, calling to me as in a dream: “Intervene in a thread, any thread, and use us to type in bold red letters: Please stay on topic. Please stay on topic. Please stay on topic. Please stay on topic…”

Mediocritycat
:lol:

Crazy-assfingers
Please stay on topic, Mediocritycat.

Mediocritycat
<whine>I don’t know why you virtual people are always picking on me. Don’t I do all the dirty work around here? Over the last three years, I collected 40 – 40, imagine! – edits on RED DAVE, (an average of 0.19804 edits per day) to prove to him that he deserved to be Pested from the political forums. Was he grateful for my pointing this out, as one would expect? No! In his thread complaining about his Pesting, (http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=221424) he accused me of “terminal bumptiousness and obtuseness.” WTF?</whine>

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
Hola, mates! Another creationist cretin just dropped into my evolution forum, and I told him, in my capacity as a moderator, that he was “off his nut” and used the :kookoo: smilie to emphasize my point. I also told him to go back to school and crack a book sometime. :laugh: I love doing that shit to those fucks!

The Smother Michael
The best thing about this place is the decorum. With the mods setting an example, we force users to be civil. This allows users to discuss controversial topics in an atmosphere of open exchange and civil discourse … well, that’s not the best thing. The best thing is that I’m both an officer and an admin.

Mediocritycat
Uh, oh. Trouble is brewing again in one of the politics forums, I see.

The Smother Michael
Trouble? How can there be trouble? I thought we solved the problem of impoliteness in the political forums by splitting the forums in two, thereby doubling the work of the moderators.

Mediocritycat
It involves a new member.

The Smother Michael
What’s the user name?

Mediocritycat
“Nazi_Storm_Trooper_And_Underage_Girl_Lover_who_Advocates_Sending_Darkies_to_Africa”

The Smother Michael
What?! That user name is completely out of the question! For Christless sake! Jesusless!

Mediocritycat
Well, I agree, Michael. Of course, I always agree with you. … It’s out of the question … um, why, though, exactly, is it “out of the question?” … If you don’t mind my asking.

Crazy-assfingers
I agree as well. Michael, do you want me to send this new user a PM telling him to stay on topic? I can do that. In fact, I have the phrase “Please Stay on Topic” on a save-get key.

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
Michael, I can send him my famous jpeg of fossilized hominid skulls demonstrating the truth of human evolution, if you’d like.

The Smother Michael
If we let a user name like that take effect, we’d be setting a terrible precedent.

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
Right! Hm, why?

Crazy-assfingers
Right! Hm, why?

Mediocritycat
Well, now that two others have posted, “Right! Hm, why?” I feel tentatively safe in asking the same question: “Right! Hm, why?

The Smother Michael
Why? Because it’s too long! Duh! It will force the cell of the html table that it is in to stretch to the right, and pretty soon the message board will be too wide for the screen for all but the highest pixel resolutions. We can’t have that!

Mediocritycat
What should we do, TSM?

The Smother Michael
Send him a PM politely asking if he’d mind shortening his user name, maybe to something like, “Nazi_Girl_Lover_Who_Hates_Blacks.” That should fit OK.

Mediocritycat
Done! … But that’s not the only problem.

The Smother Michael
What else?

Mediocritycat
“Nazi Girl Lover” has opened a provocative new thread in the political forum. It’s a real hassle.

The Smother Michael
Well, let’s see it.

Mediocritycat
Here it is: “Greetings, friends! I, like you, want to be loved; and like you, I want to share ideas and explore this rich and cotton-candy world in which we live! You can only imagine, then, how lonely it is, in real life, to advocate a Nazi government for the United States; to advocate the repeal of outmoded laws, based on superstitious sexuality taboos, that make it illegal for me to fulfill my desire to go “upskirt” on girls who are younger than 11 years old; and to advocate the banishment of all dark-skinned people to their ancestral African tribal lands. That is why I am so glad to be here; I know that here, controversial ideas can be discussed in the spirit of honest inquiry, free of acrimony and also free of humor, style or wit. Thank you all, and please feel free to ask respectful questions as together we explore these new and marvelous ideas of mine! Loves and kisses to you all, freethinkers!”

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
Hm!

Crazy-assfingers
Hm!

Mediocritycat
Right, that’s what I said, just like you guys: “Hm!” I always agree with everyone in power, just like Maverick does. That Maverick! What a conformist! No wonder she got ahead here.

The Smother Michael
Well, Mediocritycat, what’s the problem?

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
Right, Mediocritycat, what’s the problem?

Crazy-assfingers
Right, Mediocritycat, what’s the problem? Are you baiting and goading us again? Are you having trouble staying on topic again?

The Smother Michael
I mean, “Nazi” is polite and respectful; he’s raised controversial new ideas to be explored; and judging by the content of the post, he might even hate Christ and Christians, which would make him the perfect User. He might even be mod material, it seems to me.

Mediocritycat
Wait, wait, you all misunderstand! It’s not the OP that’s the problem; it’s the responses so far!

The Smother Michael
Like what?

Mediocritycat
Well, the first response is from user “Wishy Washy Wuss.” He posts: “You, sir, are a cad!”

The Smother Michael
No way!

Crazy-assfingers
Tell him to stay on topic.

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
We can’t have that.

The Smother Michael
Of course we can’t. When will these fucksticks learn that they can’t call other users names? When they do call other people names, we call them “Pests.” Pest the bastard at once, Mediocritycat! That’s an order!

Mediocritycat
Aye aye, sir. Done!

The Smother Michael
Any other responses?

Mediocritycat
In the next post after that, Militant Middle-of-the-Roader writes: “You, sir, are nuts.” And he follows it with a :kookoo:

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid?
We can’t have users telling other users that they are nuts and using the :kookoo:, unless the target of the derision is a creationist.

Mediocritycat
I just got a PM from “Nazi.” He says he has an “emotional boo-boo” and may be traumatized for life by the “ungallant calumny and invective” that he has incurred here. He is threatening legal action.

The Smother Michael
“Pest” Militant Middle-of-The Roader immediately, Mediocritycat, and PM an apology to “Nazi.”

Mediocritycat
Done!

Crazy-assfingers
I’ve stepped into that thread, gang. Here’s what I wrote: “Please stay on topic.”

Mediocritycat
I’ve stepped in as well. Here’s what I wrote: “I’m warning everyone at the outset to avoid the incendiary rhetoric that we have seen so far from Wishy Washy Wuss and Militant Middle-of-the-Roader, both of whom have been Pested from political discussions and are at risk of being banned from the rest of the board. Let’s be polite, people, or this thread will be locked. There are many provocative ideas here to be politely explored, without bile or humor. So let’s explore them! I’ll start things off by asking “Nazi” the following question: “Would you require all people of African ancestry to go to Africa, or could the deportation, in your view, be voluntary, perhaps offering Libertarian tax incentives to speed it along? Maybe the board’s Ayn Rand worshipers have something to contribute here. Are you listening, 99 Percent? Your input here would be greatly appreciated.

The Smother Michael
I’m very disappointed with users “Wishy-Washy Wuss” and “Militant Middle-of-the-Roader.” Up until now, they have had 16,000 posts between them, never once saying anything memorable or interesting in the least. In that respect they reminded me of you, Mediocritycat. They seemed like good mod material to me. And now this! How disillusioning!

Crazy-assfingers
These Users: sooner or later, they’ll break your hard drive every time.

WTF is an Oolon Colluphid
Right, they will.

The Smother Michael
Right, they will.

Mediocritycat
OK, now I can say, “Right, they will,” because everyone else did.*Clears throat* “Right, they will!” Meanwhile, in other news …

Crazy-assfingers
Please stay on topic, Mediocritycat, or I’ll lock this thread.

Computer monitor scrolls on into nothingness. Lights dim. Curtain falls. End Act One

Act Two to follow; separated from Act One by commentary from The Chorus With One Malcontent. :glare:

[Deadlokd]

:clap2::clap::appl::ovation::applaud::golfclap:

You really seem to know of what you speak. Bravo Sir! Bravo!

[godfry n. glad]

Crazy-assfingers is still there?

I thought he was taking time off to be retarded (like that was something new)?

(Heh...I got that very "I'm disappointed in you, godfry..." speech from Crazy-assfingers.)

[livius drusus]

:lol: My expectations were high, and so far Act 1 has not disappointed. I can't wait for the chorus, :mj: and, of course, :cheese: to enter stage left. :popcorn:

[beyelzu]

nice david funny in a sad cuz it is just too true kind of way

[Leesifer]

:foocl:

[maddog]

david, you are a bad, bad man.

#1282

[Dingfod]

Bra-vo.

[Ensign Steve]

:popcorn:

[Shelli]

:rofl:

I haven't had any dealings with the iidb, but I have had dealings with another, now defunct board that seems to have been a carbon copy of the above. Too funny. Bravo! :appl:

:popcorn2:

[Kyuss Apollo]

Yes. Bravo. :golfclap:

Kind of makes me grateful my shadow has never darkened the doorway at IIDB, though I wonder... What's the record for getting banned over there? :twisted:

[Naruto]

:D

*I* still use II. FF doesn't get enough traffic for me to act like a retard enough...

[Dingfod]

Doesn't stop me.

[Sock Puppet]

Please stay on topic.

[Naruto]

Please stay on topic.

http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/jekredsixporkins/img/movie_bg.jpg

Stay on topic...stay on topic....

It would be interesting to see the responses if this were posted on II.

[Shelli]

Wouldn't it just be deleted? :delete:

[davidm]

Act Two to come in the next few days, when the smilies come pouring in. :D

[Shelli]

:excited:

[Smilin]

David,

Did you ever visit the Universist forum by any chance?

[davidm]

I now present the rest of Pests.

Curtain rises. Interlude.

On stage, the giant monitor with the scrolling thread again presents itself. The Smilie Chorus With the Single Malcontent is about to comment on Act One (with sincerest apologies to Sophocles; I tried Middle English but it didn’t work out)

The Smilie Chorus With the Single Malcontent

:singing: :singing: :singing:
:singing: :glare: :singing:
:singing: :singing: :singing:

O voice of Michael, sour-toned, with what intent
Cam’st thou to iidb, where the RED DAVE shined
To Pest the highest mind?
Fainting for fear, I quiver in suspense
Hear us, O Michael! Godless of admins, hear!
In brooding dread, what doom, of present growth,
Or as the threads scroll on, thy Bans will work;
Tell me, O Michael divineless, thou Pester of reddened Dave!

Act Two

Scene:
The scrolling monitor shows the following:

:mj:
:cheese:

The Smother Michael
Mediocritycat? Are you around?

Mediocritycat
Of course I am, sir. I’m always here for you.

The Smother Michael
Two things.

Mediocritycat
Yes, sir?

The Smother Michael
There are a flood of complaint threads about the Pesting of RED DAVE. Please remove all of them from public view at once, as yet another demonstration of our authority over these presumptuous users (some of whom wrongly think they are “members,” not “users”) whom we condescend to allow access to our royal property. It is especially important that we expunge all signs of dissent during our all-important fund-raising campaign, in which we gull the rubes into giving us money, many of said rubes we will later Pest, Ban, admonish, threaten, sneer at and condescend to; we will move and lock their threads, issue them imperious and threatening private messages (edicts), and inform them that they have “cases” that will be “decided” by the admins, as if admins were actual judges and juries in real life.

Mediocritycat
Done! It always elates me to censor these twits.

The Smother Michael
The task that I just gave you was regrettable but necessary, Mediocritycat. Myself, I’m against censorship.

Mediocritycat
Oh, I am too, sir! As I said, it always depresses me to censor these twits.

The Smother Michael
Moreover, we have not “censored” these threads. We never “censor.” We simply move inappropriate content to a place called “Storage,” where the users can never see it again.

Mediocritycat
Yes, sir, let me write that down: ”Censor.” “Storage”: S-T-O-R-A-G-E. Got it. Thanks, Michael!

The Smother Michael
Good. Now here is the second thing, Mediocritycat: Did you notice the first post in this thread?

Mediocritycat
Yes, sir?

The Smother Michael
Don’t you find the post strange, Mediocritycat?

Mediocritycat
Strange? How so, sir?

The Smother Michael
How so? Tell me what you see, Mediocritycat.

Mediocritycat
Well, I see, um … Michael Jackson dancing on … on a slab of cheese, sir.

The Smother Michael
Correct.

Mediocritycat
It looks like gruyere cheese, but one can’t be certain.

The Smother Michael
No, I suppose not.

Mediocritycat
Could be cheddar … or even gouda.

The Smother Michael
Yes, I suppose it could be any number of cheeses. The key question, though, is this: Why is Michael Jackson dancing on a slab of cheese in our super-secret, underground, hidden, off-limits to the rabble, super-duper admin/mod thread for us Royalty only?

Mediocritycat
I … um … don’t know, sir. I had thought …

The Smother Michael
Yes?

Mediocritycat
That, um … that you had posted it, sir.

The Smother Michael
Why would I do a thing like that, Mediocritycat?

Mediocritycat
Mine is not to reason why.

Crazy-assfingers
I’m very disappointed in Michael Jackson, for doing this. … But then, I was disappointed with his behavior toward underage children, until I read all the pro-pedophelia threads decorating our Moral Foundations and Principles forum, and became enlightened.

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
Michael, shall I send Michael Jackson my famous photo of hominid skulls, to prove to him the truth of evolution? I can do that, if you’d like. I have that power.

Crazy-assfingers
Last night my thumb spiraled down into existential despair. It tried to commit thumbicide, so I had to put it in a strait jacket.

The Smother Michael
You know what, Crazy?

Crazy-assfingers
What, Michael?

The Smother Michael
I’m fucking sick and tired of hearing about your fucked-up fingers. Why don’t you just do us a big favor and cut them all off and be done with it? Only – at long last! – STFU.

Crazy-assfingers
Michael! I am very disappointed in you! You are wandering off topic!

:slide: :toiletdance: :dancing: :happydance: :dancers: :spin: :slowdance: :hula: :belly: :dance: :ghostdance: :bundance:

The Smother Michael
WTF? What is all this?

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
It looks like Pests, Michael.

The Smother Michael
Pests? What do you mean, Oolon?

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
Our users, under the pressure of natural selection – descent with modification – have evolved into smilies, and they are Pesting us. They have broken into our super-duper secret admin/mod forum, like peasants storming the gates. Under relentless selection pressure – being Pested, Banned, sneered at, condescended to; having their threads locked, moved, censored and hidden; being told constantly to “stay on topic” and so forth, they have evolved, developing a resistance to our defenses the way that bacteria evolve to resist antibiotics. That is why they are now able to breach the defense perimeter of our secret admin/mod Fortress of Pompositude.

:taunt: :ROFL: :lol: :biglaugh: :lmho: :lmao: :muttley:
:happy: :foocl: :dielaugh: :roflcopt: :hysteric: :giggle:

The Smother Michael
Gah! I hate these fucking things! They’re laughing at me! Laughter! So disorderly! This is the reason we ban avatars!

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
That’s evolution for you, Michael.

The Smother Michael
What you talking about, Oolon? Everyone knows that smilies are intelligently designed!

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
They are? By whom?

The Smother Michael
By livius drusus, of course!

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
I’m sorry, Michael, but that’s a standard “drususdidit” or “drusus of the gaps” argument. I’m sorry to see you falling for IDiot chicanery. I thought you were better than that. It’s like when people ask “Where did the Internet come from?” and IDiots shrug their shoulders and say, “Gore did it!”

The Smother Michael
For Christless sake, these Godlessdamned smilies aren’t only on my screen, now! They’re tumbling out of my computer’s CD ROM tray! The fucking things are pouring out onto my floor! They’re dancing, cartwheeling, sneering, laughing, waving their little fists, bulging their eyes at me, waggling their asses and even taking tiny shits on my carpet!

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
Michael, I’m PM’ing you a jpeg attachment of my hominid skulls that prove the truth of evolution.

:monkeybuttsex:

The Smother Michael
What is that?

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
What is what?

The Smother Michael
Those monkeys!

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
Those are five monkeys in a conga line of butt sex, Michael. You have a problem with that?

The Smother Michael
You don’t find five monkeys in a conga line of butt sex problematic, Oolon? What do you think our board of directors would say, if they could see this behavior?

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
No, Michael, I don’t find it to be a problem at all. When users evolve into smilies, the process of evolution changes somewhat. New smilies are born as a result of the following process:

:sex:

But when users evolve into smilies, the process involves five monkeys in a conga line of monkey butt sex (as once explained by message board user Kilik). Sorry if you have a problem with that, but your ID sympathies are disgusting.

The Smother Michael
How dare you talk to me like… gah! One of these smilies has run up my pant leg … When I step on them, some of them explode with a goosh noise, while others get stuck underfoot like chewing gum … shit, the fuckers are multiplying all over my home!

Crazy-assfingers
Please stay on topic, The Smother Michael.

The Smother Michael
Please stay on topic?! How dare you talk to me like that?

:shit:


The Smother Michael

OK, who took a shit in this thread? Was it you, Mediocritycat? It was you, wasn’t it?

Mediocritycat
Michael, how can you accuse me of such a thing? I’m always there for you.

The Smother Michael
I don’t believe you, Mediocritycat. I think that secretly, you resent me for pulling rank on you, bullying you, condescending to you and making you feel like :shit: It’s true, isn’t it? Admit it!

Mediocritycat
No, Michael, no! For the hate of God, I’m your biggest fan!

The Smother Michael
Let’s have a time out for a truth session. Go ahead, Medicoritycat. Tell me what you really think of me. For once in your usership, say something uncontrived and authentic. Go ahead, you have my permission! There will be no consequences; let’s clear the air! <Pat Benetar>Hit me with your best shot. Fire away!</Pat Benetar>

Mediocritycat
BANNED

Well, all right, Michael. If you insist. In the first place, <edit><edit><edit><edit>, ou<edit><edit>. Then, in addition, <edit><edit><edit>onic. Plus, <edit><edit> es. Anoth<edit><edit><edit>, ies. Also, remember the time that <edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit>. In con<edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit><edit>. Thanks for letting me get that off my <edit>, Michael.
Last edited by The Smother Michael. Reasons: Insults, baiting and goading, being a general jerk; having a small penis, and being a poopiehead.

The Smother Michael
Well, good. Now we’ve cleared the air, by Godless! … By the way, someone remind me that we’ll need to post a notice seeking a new moderator.

:glare:

The Smother Michael
OK, who’s glaring at me? Is it you, Oolon? Or you, Crazy? You guys want a piece of me, too?

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
It’s not us, Michael. It’s the “glare” smilie. Nothing to be done, now.

The Smother Michael
What do you mean?

:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
It’s a virus. It will quickly contaminate our Fortress of Pompositude, and then spread far beyond, to the board as a whole. There is no cure for it. “Glare” is the ultimate malcontent. And “glare” only appears on message boards that give the ultimate reason for people to be, well, malcontented. :glare: has arrived, Michael, as out of the whirlwind; and he’ll keep spreading and spreading … BTW, mate, where were you when :glare: first glared at the world? (from coffee mugs, bikinis and T-shirts, too.)

:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:




The Smother Michael
I’m not to blame for this. I’m not to blame for anything! It’s your fault, Ooolon! Yours too, Crazy!


:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:
:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:
:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:
:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:

WTF Is an Oolon Colluphid?
BANNED
:fuckyou: you, Michael.

The Smother Michael
BANNED
:fuckyou:

Crazy-assfingers
BANNED
:fuckyou:

The Smother Michael
BANNED

That’s it! I’m locking this thread, and then banning us all.

THREAD LOCKED

Computer monitor scrolls off into a vague nothingness. Lights dim…

CHORUS….(with more heartfelt apologies to Sophocles)

:singing: :singing: :singing:
:singing: :glare: :singing:
:singing: :singing: :singing:

Ye users of iidb, behold this Smother Michael,
Who was the famous admin and officer,
Who envied no one’s fortune and success
And, lo! In what sea of direst woe
He now is plunged. From hence the lesson draws,
To reckon no admin happy till ye see
The closing thread; until he pass the bourn
Which severs posts from bans, unscathed by edits.



Curtain falls. Finis.

[Watser?]

:golfclap:

[Leesifer]

:applaud:

[Ensign Steve]

Bravo!

[Chris Porter]

The Smother Michael
There are a flood of complaint threads about the Pesting of RED DAVE. Please remove all of them from public view at once,

Holy cow, that's just wrong. Were they really disappeared?

[Naruto]

Another enjoyable read. Nice writing.

[Shelli]

:chuckle: @ "Fortress of Pompositude"

Godlessdamned smilies ... and even taking tiny shits on my carpet!oh, the visual.. :giggle2:

:applaud: :glare: :applaud:

[Nullifidian]

The Smother Michael
There are a flood of complaint threads about the Pesting of RED DAVE. Please remove all of them from public view at once,

Holy cow, that's just wrong. Were they really disappeared?

Yes, they were moved to "Private Feedback", where only the moderators and the original posters can read the threads. For anyone else, the content has entirely disappeared.

[JoeP]

The Smilie Chorus With the Single Malcontent

:singing: :singing: :singing:
:singing: :glare: :singing:
:singing: :singing: :singing:



:D

[Stormlight]

“drususdidit” or “drusus of the gaps”

:foocl:

[chick]

While the chief complaint against IIDB seems to be "inconsistent moderation," does their having theist moderators on staff play any role in your dislike of the forum?

[beyelzu]

not for me, i dont really care, seebs is one of those mods and i get along fine with him

[D. Scarlatti]

Which one's better at herding cats, I wonder.

[Naruto]

While the chief complaint against IIDB seems to be "inconsistent moderation," does their having theist moderators on staff play any role in your dislike of the forum?

Not for me either, I like seebs and NiceSquirrel.

[chick]

I think seebs stepped down from IIDB.

Thanks for the answers.

[Ensign Steve]

I left IIDB before or right around the time they started having theist moderators, and I already had an irrational hatred for the atheist mods, if that answers your question.

[Shelli]

It seems kinda weird to me that they would have theist mods. :eh?:

[viscousmemories]

They used to have a rule that mods had to be atheists, and there was a lot of drama around there when they decided to lift that restriction. Those of us who argued for allowing theist mods did so on several grounds, including the ground that because mods were supposed to be neutral rule enforcers their beliefs shouldn't be relevant to whether they could perform moderator duties effectively. Some of the arguments against lifting the restriction were that we were theist-loving IIDB haters who don't appreciate all the hard work of the volunteer staff, or something.

[Petra]

Mods were always allowed to be Deists or Pagans or something.

I have no problem with theist (or non-theist) mods of any stripe, as long as they aren't complete and utter arseholes, and that they at least try to be as fair and impartial as they possibly can be.

[viscousmemories]

Unfortunately if they aren't complete and utter arseholes, they'll never be enlisted.

I (mostly) kid!
:triumph:

True, in theory they didn't have to be atheists. I don't remember them having a theist mod before the rule was lifted though.

[.matt.]

Very amuzing. Personally, I like IIDB. I think the mods do a good job and are very fair. But then I've only had encounters with a couple of them.

[Kyuss Apollo]

The ones that are 11?

[Caligulette]

Lovely work.

Though I have only posted there maybe three times, it struck me as an uncomfortable place. (It is possible I even "spoke" with you, Mr Dave, though I cannot even remember my log in name, so we will never know unless we find out, eh?) In any event, I think you should commence an off-Broadway tour.

[Deadlokd]

There is only one mod there that I actively dislike and that is more for his views than his moderation style. The rest of them I don't have anything to do with. Unless Derec cries that I've been victimising him again.

[Corona688]

hilarious. about time someone skewered them. It's slowly dawning on me just how stupid the "no personal attack" rule is. When someone's being a dick, how else can you point it out?

[godfry n. glad]

Unfortunately if they aren't complete and utter arseholes, they'll never be enlisted.

I (mostly) kid!
:triumph:

True, in theory they didn't have to be atheists. I don't remember them having a theist mod before the rule was lifted though.

I didn't have problems with the moderators and there weren't any theistic ones until after I was banned. I like seebs, too, despite his tendency to engage his tin god fantasies at iidb.

I did have problems with the pinheaded admins, though...or, to be accurate, just one pinheaded admin. They probably have droves of them over there, but one was enough for me.

[Corona688]

While the chief complaint against IIDB seems to be "inconsistent moderation," does their having theist moderators on staff play any role in your dislike of the forum? Not really. I was against the idea, why let people diametrically opposed to the advancement of your philosophy run a place that advocates that philosophy, but the way they implemented it really didn't change anything anyway.

[hecaterin]

This is now in desperate need of a sequel.

[mickthinks]

Hello Corona688!

why let people diametrically opposed to the advancement of your philosophy run a place that advocates that philosophy
I don't think mere moderators run forums anymore than cops run communities. And I think that few theists are opposed to discussing the weaknesses in their position. It's only fundamentalist believers who are opposed to atheism in that sense. But then, it takes a fundamentalist attitude to see the exclusion of dissenting viewpoints as 'advancement', I think.

Discuss?

Mick