Crumb
09-26-2007, 04:14 PM
I believe the rhythm is off on some of these, but their authors assure me that they are fine. If you don't think they qualify as a limerick, don't vote for them. :D May the best limerick win!
I
there once was a king who would marry
to see how much weight he could carry
first to his bed
then off with her head!
living with henry was scary!
II
There once was a land with no name,
Until Eric the Red showed his mane.
His men stepped ashore,
The land they adored,
And Greenland an ice land became.
III
In 79 AD at Naples Bay
Vesuvius explodes above Pompeii
The fury of Zeus
His molten noose
Encircles like statues his living prey
IV
When told that the poor had no bread,
And, starving, would all soon be dead,
Marie Antoinette spake,
“Why, then, let them eat cake!”
A folly that cost her her head.
V
The Vandals, persuaded by Arius,
Were in quite the position precarious.
They holed up in Carthage
But kickage of arseage
Came courtesy of Belisarius.
VI
On a midnight in Boston so clear
A bulwark ‘gainst patriot fear
He called, his horse running,
“The British are coming!”
The famed ride of Paul Revere
VII
John Scopes was a teacher quite bold,
Whose lessons he fought to have told.
When he took it to trial,
The result was quite vile,
For the earth is just 6K years old!
VIII
When Wall Street fell, panic befell the nation
Many lost their savings, so did their relation
When the stocks and bonds dropped
It just couldn't be stopped
Triggering the greatest depression since Creation
IX
In fleeing monarchical power
A Puritan lass earned a glower.
Her virtue was doubted
When rashly she shouted
“I came across, on the Mayflower!”
X
There once was a madman named Vlad
Whose vengeance would start a new fad.
He kept stakes by his side
Which their heads would soon ride
Should they make The Impaler too mad.
XI
It's said that Moses wrote it in the flesh,
How Yahweh wanted to start afresh.
But the story was stale,
Ripped off from a tale
A subplot from the Epic of Gilgamesh.
XII
A long time ago, way back when
Before Mark Twain wrote of Huck Finn
Honest Abe was a hit
After logs he did split
T'was elected President by the hair of his chin
XIII
There once was a man who was Serb
Some say he was also disturbed
But whether a kook or a spook
He murdered the duke
And left all of Europe perturbed
XIV
There once were two brothers named Wright
who perfected fixed-wing air flight.
Now after much advance
we wait for our chance
to fall from a ponderous height.
XV
The Young Pretender cried 'War!"
His Royal House of Stuart, to restore
upon Culloden's wild moors
what the Jacobites endured
as the English showed Charlie the door.
XVI
Pat Henry, a hero of note.
Or so the historians wrote.
But the problem remains,
That his wife, bound in chains,
Was prob'ly the source of that quote.
XVII
Let us sing of the great Paul Revere
Who rode out in the cool midnight clear.
He had everyone humming
"The British are coming!"
And at last, you damn yankees, we're here!
I
there once was a king who would marry
to see how much weight he could carry
first to his bed
then off with her head!
living with henry was scary!
II
There once was a land with no name,
Until Eric the Red showed his mane.
His men stepped ashore,
The land they adored,
And Greenland an ice land became.
III
In 79 AD at Naples Bay
Vesuvius explodes above Pompeii
The fury of Zeus
His molten noose
Encircles like statues his living prey
IV
When told that the poor had no bread,
And, starving, would all soon be dead,
Marie Antoinette spake,
“Why, then, let them eat cake!”
A folly that cost her her head.
V
The Vandals, persuaded by Arius,
Were in quite the position precarious.
They holed up in Carthage
But kickage of arseage
Came courtesy of Belisarius.
VI
On a midnight in Boston so clear
A bulwark ‘gainst patriot fear
He called, his horse running,
“The British are coming!”
The famed ride of Paul Revere
VII
John Scopes was a teacher quite bold,
Whose lessons he fought to have told.
When he took it to trial,
The result was quite vile,
For the earth is just 6K years old!
VIII
When Wall Street fell, panic befell the nation
Many lost their savings, so did their relation
When the stocks and bonds dropped
It just couldn't be stopped
Triggering the greatest depression since Creation
IX
In fleeing monarchical power
A Puritan lass earned a glower.
Her virtue was doubted
When rashly she shouted
“I came across, on the Mayflower!”
X
There once was a madman named Vlad
Whose vengeance would start a new fad.
He kept stakes by his side
Which their heads would soon ride
Should they make The Impaler too mad.
XI
It's said that Moses wrote it in the flesh,
How Yahweh wanted to start afresh.
But the story was stale,
Ripped off from a tale
A subplot from the Epic of Gilgamesh.
XII
A long time ago, way back when
Before Mark Twain wrote of Huck Finn
Honest Abe was a hit
After logs he did split
T'was elected President by the hair of his chin
XIII
There once was a man who was Serb
Some say he was also disturbed
But whether a kook or a spook
He murdered the duke
And left all of Europe perturbed
XIV
There once were two brothers named Wright
who perfected fixed-wing air flight.
Now after much advance
we wait for our chance
to fall from a ponderous height.
XV
The Young Pretender cried 'War!"
His Royal House of Stuart, to restore
upon Culloden's wild moors
what the Jacobites endured
as the English showed Charlie the door.
XVI
Pat Henry, a hero of note.
Or so the historians wrote.
But the problem remains,
That his wife, bound in chains,
Was prob'ly the source of that quote.
XVII
Let us sing of the great Paul Revere
Who rode out in the cool midnight clear.
He had everyone humming
"The British are coming!"
And at last, you damn yankees, we're here!