Brit Humour

[Socratoad]

I love most types of humour, except ultra crude shock humour.

However this thread is about British humour as Methinks that is their most endearing trait. Its certainly not their cuisine nor climate.

All the time I'm of the puter I'm listening to the BBC, or the beeb as many Brits call it, and so I run across little gems of Brit humour every day. I thought that along with the rest of you I would like to post some of the bits that make me chuckle.

So I'll start off with this kinda funny bit I heard this morning:


Growing old includes many changes happening in your life. Society begins to treat you like you are invisible. Friends begin the drift away. Your children begin to ignore you.

There are many advantages to growing older, but these are the main ones.

[Hugo Holbling]

http://www.viz.co.uk/

[Ensign Steve]

Two words: Absolutely Fabulous

[Adora]

The League of Gentlemen & Little Britain are two of the more surreal examples that I love.

Dead Ringers = greatest impersonators ever. Most of the time I have no idea who they're impersonating, but I'm still rolling around on the floor laughing. Their version of Shrub is priceless.

"My fellow asparagus..."

[Socratoad]

Hey Adora, ya just named three of my favourite shows. I too often miss some references to local peeps but still I laugh until my tummy aches.

[viscousmemories]

I know I'm waaaaaaay outdated, but I like Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and Mr. Bean.

[Socratoad]

I know I'm waaaaaaay outdated, but I like Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and Mr. Bean.

You're not outdated at all. Comedians of that calibre never grow stale.
Monty Python is my all-time favourite. They are the only group whose skits I can watch time after time and still laugh. Just the other day before my puter crashed I was laughing away the Mr. Hilter skit where Mr Hilter and a couple of more Nazis are trying to revive the Nazis party in England while denying who they are. The image of those jackasses riding bicycles through some narrow streets in London with a windup gramophone on the back of a bicycle justs cracks me up every time I thing of it. The dead parrot, another one of my favourites, and on and on. I really must try to download my collection once again.

Eez not dead, eez pining for the fiords. Norwegian blues do that.

[livius drusus]

Here's an email I was once forwarded which is apparently a genuine customer complaint from the UK. I've kept it for 3 years because it never fails to make me laugh to the pain, particularly after encountering particularly heinous service. :)

~~~~~

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.

During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website? How?

I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.

Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%. These are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman) and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to.

Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.

Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?

How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the
services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats,

Yours psychotically,

[Socratoad]

Oh dammit Liv, I've been sitting here snorting and guffawing my way through that letter. Yes when I'm extremely amused, I snort, and then I snort again.

Gawd thats funny. A keeper for sure.

[Socratoad]

Poor Planning
This is an accident report which was printed in the newsletter of the British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is the bricklayer's report ... a true story.

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in block #11 of the accident report form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.Here my luck began to change slightly.

The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

[Socratoad]

Peter Cook on exams

The late British humorist Peter Cook launched his career during his days at Cambridge University. In later years he reflected on his problems with exams:
"Yes, I could have been a judge but I never had the Latin, never had the Latin for the judging, I just never had sufficient of it to get through the rigorous judging exams.
They're noted for their rigour. People came staggering out saying, 'My God, what a rigorous exam.'
And so I became a miner instead. A coal miner. I managed to get through the mining exams - they're not very rigorous, they only ask you one question, they say 'Who are you?', and I got seventy-five percent on that."

[Socratoad]

Dead Parrot Sketch



The cast:

MR. PRALINE
John Cleese
SHOP OWNER
Michael Palin



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sketch:

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

[wade-w]

Peter Cook on exams

The late British humorist Peter Cook launched his career during his days at Cambridge University. In later years he reflected on his problems with exams:
"Yes, I could have been a judge but I never had the Latin, never had the Latin for the judging, I just never had sufficient of it to get through the rigorous judging exams.
They're noted for their rigour. People came staggering out saying, 'My God, what a rigorous exam.'
And so I became a miner instead. A coal miner. I managed to get through the mining exams - they're not very rigorous, they only ask you one question, they say 'Who are you?', and I got seventy-five percent on that."

I saw a broadcast of this routine once. It was hilarious, especially when he goes into the medical condition he picked up in the mines and how that further affected his potential judging career.

[Socratoad]

Peter Cook on exams

The late British humorist Peter Cook launched his career during his days at Cambridge University. In later years he reflected on his problems with exams:
"Yes, I could have been a judge but I never had the Latin, never had the Latin for the judging, I just never had sufficient of it to get through the rigorous judging exams.
They're noted for their rigour. People came staggering out saying, 'My God, what a rigorous exam.'
And so I became a miner instead. A coal miner. I managed to get through the mining exams - they're not very rigorous, they only ask you one question, they say 'Who are you?', and I got seventy-five percent on that."

I saw a broadcast of this routine once. It was hilarious, especially when he goes into the medical condition he picked up in the mines and how that further affected his potential judging career.

Yes in its entirety its got to be one of the best skits ever. I remember a bit about being down in the mine a finding this bloody big lump of coal. Oi What's this a bloody big lump of coal. thats nice just what we're looking for .... and so on.

The three skits I have posted are possibly my favourites. The skit about the bricklayer is fabulous but it has to be heard to be appreciated with the Brit accent and all. I know it says its a true story but I doubt it, though it is probably based on a true story. I believe the skit was one done by the late Stanley Holloway, but don't quote me.

[Dragar]

Socratoad, you know the bricklayers story? You realise there is a song version?

[JoeP]

Two other words: The Office

[Socratoad]

Socratoad, you know the bricklayers story? You realise there is a song version?

Thanks Dragar, I was unaware of that. I must try to find it.

[Dragar]

It's called 'The Sick Note' if that helps. Various people have done versions.

[Adora]

Hey Adora, ya just named three of my favourite shows. I too often miss some references to local peeps but still I laugh until my tummy aches.
Heh. Nice.

I was raised on The Goons, so I was indoctrinated into the humour of Mother England from a very early age. Ahhh yes. *sighs* Nothing like German jokes about carboard-cutout bombs.

[Corona688]

I know I'm waaaaaaay outdated, but I like Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and Mr. Bean. Would you care for a rat, sir?

[Dingfod]

I know I'm waaaaaaay outdated, but I like Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and Mr. Bean.So do I, but add to that Blackadder and Red Dwarf. Oh, I'm even more outdated than that, and perhaps a bit warped for it, I like Waiting for God (http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/waitgod/), Are You Being Served (http://www.minki.net/aybs/), and Keeping Up Appearances (http://kuacentral.com/), which are still shown on the local PBS station, and Benny Hill, who isn't on anywhere anymore.

[viscousmemories]

I don't get the rat joke, Corona. :blush:

Oh yeah, Black Adder and Benny Hill. :yup:

Granted I mostly watched Benny Hill for the scantily clad women, but hey I was like 14.

I was introduced to Mr. Bean and Black Adder when I was working in Hamburg, Germany in 1997. One of the German guys I worked with hooked me up with a little TV-VCR combo and his only English "speaking" tapes (though not much speaking in Mr. Bean, I must say).

Rowan Atkinson live rocked too:

A Warm Welcome

Ah hello!. It's nice to see you all here. As the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is Hell. And I am the Devil (good evening), but you can call me Toby, if you like. We try to keep things informal in here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke of mine. I tell it every time.

Now, you're all here for... eternity! Ooh! Which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time, so you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for now I'm going to have to split you up in groups. WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING! Thank you.

Now, murderers? Murderers over here, please. Thank you. Looters and pillagers over there. Thieves, if you could join them, and lawyers, you're in that lot too.

Fornicators, if you could step forward? My God, there are a lot of you! Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine in the corner.

Em... the French, are you here? If you could just like to come down here with the Germans. I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.

Okay, atheists? Atheists over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits. Never mind. And finally, Christians. Christians? Ah, yes, I'm sorry but I'm afraid the Jews were right. If you would come down here, that would be really fine.

Okay! Right, well, are there any questions? Yes?

No, I'm afraid there aren't any toilets. If you read your Bible, you might have seen that it was damnation without relief, so if you did not go before you came, then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much... but then I believe that's the idea.

Okay. Well, it's over to you, Adolf! And I'll catch you all later at the barbecue. Bye!

-source (http://www.rowanatkinson.org/devil_sketch.htm#A%20Warm%20Welcome)

[JoeP]

Oh yes, Red Dwarf!

[Corona688]

I don't get the rat joke, Corona. :blush: Fawlty Towers, there's a health inspector there and a pet rat on the loose. Desperate measures are taken, including poison(which gets mixed up with the meals, leading to many many many inexplicable panicked swaps of meals with patrons :D) and then at the very last, the rat finally turns up in a basket full of bread which the waiter is offering. He fobs it off with "Would you care for a rat, sir?" The whole day's been so surreal the inspector just says "no... no thank you." and leaves it at that.

Ever since that day, whenever we're passing around the family guinea pig, we always prefix it with "Would you care for a rat, sir?"

[Dragar]

Fawlty Towers really is quite ingrained in the culture, actually. For instance, in my family, if anyone makes a suggestion that we shouldn't mention a certain topic during a conversation, the inevitable response is "Don't mention the war!"

Red Dwarf is simply amazing at times. It has ups and downs (unlike Fawlty Towers, which was sheer gold) but for the most part was great, and had some amazingly classic scenes with some unforgettable characters. I mean, how can you not like Cat? And Lister teaching Kryten to lie is a joy to behold.

Black Adder is also wonderful. Rowan Atkinson played a terribly evil, greedy, cruel and yet ultimately likable character, while Tony Robinson played the idiot henchman. And it's quite common in England to hear, "I have a cunning plan..." followed by many a chuckle.

Waiting for God I've never seen (it may be before my time), Are You Being Served is too dated now (it was originally funny because it was pushing past boundaries that we pushed back so long ago we can't even see), but Keeping Up Appearances is good for a chuckle, mostly because you always know someone like Mrs Bucket. Pronounced 'Bouqet' - it's French, you see?

A few more good ones would be Only Fools and Horses, which is simply brilliant. Watching Del Boy and Rodney running through the streets of London, dressed in Batman and Robin fancy dress costumes, for instance, leaves me on the floor in laughter. And the episode where Del buys a bunch of inflatable dolls that 'fell off the back of a lorry'? Yes, those types of dolls. Fantastic program.

Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em is old, but people either love or hate it.

Dad's Army still gets shown, simply because the acting and scripting was top notch.

"Your name shall also go on zee list! Vhat is it?"

"Don't tell him, Pike!"

And 'ello 'ello! is another old one, which is ridiculously silly, but a good fun mockery of every nationality involved in World War II.

I can't think of any more right now.

Edit: And how could I forget the Mony Python team? With classic lines such as "He's a real Messiah alright! And I should know, I've followed a few!" I'd recommend them to anyone.

[livius drusus]

I adore Black Adder, although the first series doesn't really do it for me (with the saliently hilarious exception of the Archbishop of Canterbury episode). I love Black Adder when he's sharp and acidic, not when he's an inbred idiot.

[HelenM]

I adore Black Adder, although the first series doesn't really do it for me (with the saliently hilarious exception of the Archbishop of Canterbury episode). I love Black Adder when he's sharp and acidic, not when he's an inbred idiot.

Me too. The wordplay in the series after the first one is awesome.

We recently acquired The Office and The Young Ones and Bottom. I haven't watched The Office; my husband has and likes it.

The Young Ones and Bottom showcase Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson (and others too in The Young Ones). Those two series represent the more crude and extreme end of British humor (imo); [but] they have some very funny lines in. The Young Ones was written by Ben Elton who I think wrote at least some of the Elizabeth Black Adder series.

Helen

[Dragar]

I adore Black Adder, although the first series doesn't really do it for me (with the saliently hilarious exception of the Archbishop of Canterbury episode). I love Black Adder when he's sharp and acidic, not when he's an inbred idiot.

Yeah, they started out on a low note, but got progressively better. But note how, as Black Adder gets smarter, Baldrick sinks to even lower levels of idiocy? I always thought that was interesting.

[livius drusus]

But note how, as Black Adder gets smarter, Baldrick sinks to even lower levels of idiocy? I always thought that was interesting.

I can't say I had noticed, actually. Looks like I'm going to have to watch the entire series all over again. Curses! :beaugest:

[JoeP]

I don't get the rat joke, Corona. :blush: Fawlty Towers, there's a health inspector there and a pet rat on the loose. Desperate measures are taken, including poison(which gets mixed up with the meals, leading to many many many inexplicable panicked swaps of meals with patrons :D) and then at the very last, the rat finally turns up in a basket full of bread which the waiter is offering. He fobs it off with "Would you care for a rat, sir?" The whole day's been so surreal the inspector just says "no... no thank you." and leaves it at that.

Ever since that day, whenever we're passing around the family guinea pig, we always prefix it with "Would you care for a rat, sir?"
Is that the scene where Manuel says "No, ees hamsterr!"?

[viscousmemories]

That sounds funny, Corona.

I should've qualified my comment that I liked that show with "but I've only seen a couple episodes". :blush:

[Dingfod]

But note how, as Black Adder gets smarter, Baldrick sinks to even lower levels of idiocy? I always thought that was interesting.

I can't say I had noticed, actually. Looks like I'm going to have to watch the entire series all over again. Curses! :beaugest:Is it available on DVD?

[Dragar]

Is that the scene where Manuel says "No, ees hamsterr!"?

I do believe he'd named it Basil. :happy:

[ceptimus]

You should try and see Father Ted if you like British TV comedy. I suspect it's not well known in the USA.

I also liked The Royal Family though I guess this probably wouldn't be funny to foreigners.

(ceptimus is a Brit)

[godfry n. glad]

But note how, as Black Adder gets smarter, Baldrick sinks to even lower levels of idiocy? I always thought that was interesting.

I can't say I had noticed, actually. Looks like I'm going to have to watch the entire series all over again. Curses! :beaugest:Is it available on DVD?

Yes, it is.

PBS. Probably online, too. I know my public library has the whole series.

godfry

[Dragar]

You should try and see Father Ted if you like British TV comedy. I suspect it's not well known in the USA.

I only started watching this recently, but it's one of my favourites now. Father Dougal is amazing.

"Father," he says in an Irish accent, pointing at a model nativity scene, "what's all this about?"

[godfry n. glad]

I thoroughly enjoyed Dawn French as the Vicar of Dibley. I've only seen a selection of the episodes, though.

Have the Brits here had a chance to catch any Canuck humor....anybody here seen Red Green? My current favorite.

godfry

[livius drusus]

I love Father Ted too. McDougal makes me come dangerously close to bladder evacuation. It's on BBC America every once in a while, for those of you with broadband cable or satellite.

[Dragar]

I thoroughly enjoyed Dawn French as the Vicar of Dibley.

Me too. I don't care for her when she works with Saunders, but she's excellent in this. They had some good writers. The episode with Radio Dibley was one of my favourite episodes.

[Weaselboots]

I grew up watching mainly British stuff, most of it is great, some -George and Mildred, Some Mother Do Have them- :fuming:
Not having a TV ( but a computer that played DVD's) i've been out of the loop for a while. I've heard there is some new great stuff i need to track down.
My favs in no order

Blackadder
Red Dwarf
Yes Minister
Yes Prime Minster
Not the 9 o Clock News
Smith and Jones
To the Manor Born
The Goodies (seeing them live in March YAY)
Waiting For God
Vicar of Dibley
Python

I'm sure there are more.....

[livius drusus]

Oh Weasel's post reminds me: does the Prime Minister's Questions count as British humor? I think it should cause that shit is hilarious. Particularly the backbencher noises.

[Dragar]

Oh Weasel's post reminds me: does the Prime Minister's Questions count as British humor? I think it should cause that shit is hilarious. Particularly the backbencher noises.

British politics is comedy in itself. Have I Got News For You is a wonderful 'quiz' show, where current affairs and public figures are mocked beyond belief. It's often quite political, though, so non-Brits probably wouldn't get most of the jokes. But it's very sharp.

[Ymir's blood]

Most of the humo(u)r I grew up, and a great deal of the TV in general, was British. My favorites were The Young Ones, Blackadder (esp. II), Monty Python, Up Pompeii.

Back when I had satellite TV, they had the BBC America chanel. Doubt the cable company here will ever pick that up. :\

[livius drusus]

In our very midst. (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=34949#post34949) :)

[Shaguar]

This reminded me of my favourite Peter Cook Sketch.

PC is playing a theatrical agent who has a vacancy for the role of Tarzan.
there is a knock on the door and in HOPS Dudley Moore obviously a viaively optimistic one legged actor.

After some fantastic lines such as

"Tarzan is not a role traditinally associated with an unidexter"

Peter Cook ends the interview with this line

"Sir your right leg is great, I have nothing against your right leg, unfortunately neither do you"

[Sycophant]

Okay, so far you've mostly been dwelling on the older stuff, which is fantastic, but there is plenty of modern stuff that kicks a great deal of comedy ass.

Allow me to share my list (with Amazon links):
The Office (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002W4P98) -- Oh god it is just so fantastic. It's a couple of years old, but just so very very very good. The final two special shows are the best, a sublime mix of comedy and fantastic drama with some truely fantastic character moments.
Black Books (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002OJU0U) -- It's a sitcom done perfectly. With quirky characters that are just normal enough as to seem real. And so very funny. Lines you will quote for months.
Spaced (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002LXU6I) -- Another sitcom, but filled with moments of the surreal and with more homage than any other show on TV ever!!
Trigger Happy TV (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000296GDE) -- This is a hidden camera show that doesn't suck. In fact it is completely the opposite of a shitty hidden camera show, it is a fan-fucking-tastic hidden camera show.
Brass Eye (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000066NT9) -- Current affairs satire that is so biting it's like a great white shark (I am struggling for descriptions now, but this is good).

And that will do for the moment. There is certainly more, but that's all I've really seen a lot of. I know a lot of people who are also very fond of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen which was mentioned earlier.

[Petra]

And don't forget Boro Nut at IIDB. The man is a star.

http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=112681

The above link is just one of many magical Boro moments. I love that guy.

Here is a list of threads he has started (http://www.iidb.org/vbb/search.php?searchid=410017). Well worth the giggles.

[TheBeast]

Is that the scene where Manuel says "No, ees hamsterr!"?

I do believe he'd named it Basil. :happy:

He put Basil in the Ratatoiulle?! :D

[MooseIBe]

fawlty towers is wonderful :) I was watching it the other day .. makes me happy no matter how crap life has been. I think you could show it to someone about to be led to the gallows and they would laugh their asses off.

[Veritas]

Bottom's my favourite comedy of all time. I have every episode and every live stage show in my video collection, and I know all the scripts backwards. In fact I love it so much I'd be happy to have all FF Bottom followers round for a video night. Bring kinder eggs.

[curses]

Fawlty Towers, we used to sneak back in the den after bedtime to watch this as kids. This is one that will never grow old, it's in the same league as Monty Python.

Spaced. I think I saw someone mention this. Nothing is funnier than the clubbing episode. Nothing.

Oddly enough, I'd like to add Michael Palin's televised adventures around the world. They're nonfiction, but god he makes me laugh. Informative and funny, who could ask for more? The best one was where he was visiting the Himalayas...

[Sauron]

I know I'm waaaaaaay outdated, but I like Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and Mr. Bean.So do I, but add to that Blackadder and Red Dwarf. Oh, I'm even more outdated than that, and perhaps a bit warped for it, I like Waiting for God (http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/waitgod/), Are You Being Served (http://www.minki.net/aybs/), and Keeping Up Appearances (http://kuacentral.com/), which are still shown on the local PBS station, and Benny Hill, who isn't on anywhere anymore.

Oh, yes.

As in "Yes, Minister."
And "Yes, Prime Minister."
And "The Good Life."

I remember the last one fondly, as my father had involved our own family in self-sufficiency at the time. We used to sit down and watch this on PBS, up in the hills of West Virginia. Rabbit ears, snowy reception, adjusting the aluminum foil on the cable - the whole works.

Edited to add: in fact, they are re-releasing "The Good Life" first three seasons, for the first time on DVD. How do I know this?

I just ordered it. :yup:

http://www.acornonline.com/ProductDetail.aspx?Product_ID=2578

[BDS]

My favorite British humorists:

1) Jane Austen (the British counterpart to Mark Twain -- Twain, by the way claimed to hate Austen)
2) Oscar Wilde (The Importance of being Earnest is the funniest play ever written.)
3) Stephen Potter (you may never have heard of him, but his books Gamesmanship and Lifesmanship are brilliant.

Here's what I don't like: an infatuation with "drag" humor. This is seen in Monty Python, Benny Hill, et. al. For some reason, I just don't think it's funny. I never liked "Some like it Hot", either.

[livius drusus]

I liked Some Like It Hot -- it's more nuanced and clever than your usual man-in-dress = teh funny tropes -- but generally speaking I totally agree with you. I didn't even think it was funny when Flanders and Homer had to wear dresses after they both lost the mini-putt bet, and I think pretty much anything on the (early) Simpsons is hilarious.

[Veritas]

BDS - Oscar Wilde wasn't actually British - he was born in Dublin. ANd if you don't like drag humour, avoid Little Britain. :D

[BDS]

Wilde was indeed Irish, although since he spent all of his adult life in Britain (until fleeing to France after he got out of prison), and was educated at British Universities, and wrote plays about English society, I still think he qualifies.

Also, Ireland was a British colony, not an independent country, in Wilde's time.

[MooseIBe]

I didn't know Twain claimed to hate Austen .. how extraordinarily rude of him :).Some people don't 'get' her I think .. I've heard her dismissed as light and fluffy or irrelevant. There was quite a barbed wit under the outward appearance though..

[BDS]

Twain on Austen:

To me his prose is unreadable--like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.
- Letter to W. D. Howells, 1/18/1909

Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
- Following the Equator

I haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.
- Letter to Joseph Twichell, 9/13/1898

Twain loved playing the curmudgeon. He may have given himself away in the last quote, though. He wants to beat Austen over the skull "everytime he reads Pride and Prejudice"? One wonders if Twain read every book he hated multiple times.

[MooseIBe]

Yes that's a good observation :). Mind he has a cheek criticising her prose style! I don't think I've ever actually finished one of Twain's books and I struggle with his short stories. That dialect is utterly impenetrable.

[livius drusus]

You should try The Prince and the Pauper (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0451528352/qid=1124817046/sr=8-7/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i7_xgl14/002-3790989-8420034?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) or A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0553211439/qid=1124817091/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-3790989-8420034?v=glance&s=books&n=507846). None of that Mighty Mississip' lingo in either of those.

Of course, the English dialects are way bad enough. ;)

[BDS]

Mark Twain is one of the few true geniuses of American letters. His great novel Huckleberry Finn is probably judged the greatest American novel more often than any other. However Twain was also a master of the Short Story, the humorous anecdote, travel literature, reporting, essays, and literary criticism.

Here's an essay short enough to read on the internet, outlining the literary offenses of James Fennimore Cooper:

http://xroads.virginia.edu/~HYPER/HNS/Indians/offense.html

Twain was a working newspaper man in the American West. I remember one writer (I forget who) describing Twain arriving at Virginia City. He had walked 100 miles from the last town, through the Nevada dust. He was covered in dust, and a six-gun was strapped to his belt.

He strode into the newspaper office and announced, "I'm Sam Clemens, and I've come to work on the paper."

The (forgotten) writer who described the scene wrote (with no exaggeration): "It was the master of the world's largest estate, come to claim his kingdom."

Despite being a humorist, satarist, atheist, and acerbic wit, Twain was a loving family man who was almost broken when his wife and daughters preceded him in death. The man who railed so loudly against the saccherine and the trite wrote this for the headstone of his beloved wife Livvy:

Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.

[MooseIBe]

I've read the prince and the pauper . .read it a cpl years ago. It was okay.. I thought I would like it might better than I did ;)

BDS I am going to bed in a tic but will read and comment on that essay tomorrow :)

[BDS]

I'm not a big Prince and Pauper or Connecticut Yankee fan either. In general, I prefer Twain's non-fiction. Even Huckleberry Finn, great as it is, is far from a perfectly crafted book. It's great when Huck and Jim are on the river, but the last few chapters devolve into meaningless farce.

Still, the last lines of Huck attest to Twain's talent. Few last sentences of a novel are more justly famous:

"But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before."

Here's another excerpt that is justly famous. Huck knows that helping Jim is evil, and he will go to hell for it, but his natural kindness shines through his rotten ethics like a beacon:


"It made me shiver. And I about made up my mind to pray, and see if I couldn't try to quit being the kind of a boy I was and be better. So I kneeled down. But the words wouldn't come. Why wouldn't they? It warn't no use to try and hide it from Him. Nor from ME, neither. I knowed very well why they wouldn't come. It was because my heart warn't right; it was because I warn't square; it was because I was playing double. I was letting ON to give up sin, but away inside of me I was holding on to the biggest one of all. I was trying to make my mouth SAY I would do the right thing and the clean thing, and go and write to that nigger's owner and tell where he was; but deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie -* I found that out.

So I was full of trouble, full as I could be; and didn't know what to do. At last I had an idea; and I says, I'll go and write the letter -* and then see if I can pray. Why, it was astonishing, the way I felt as light as a feather right straight off, and my troubles all gone. So I got a piece of paper and a pencil, all glad and excited, and set down and wrote:

Miss Watson, your runaway nigger Jim is down here two mile below Pikesville, and Mr. Phelps has got him and he will give him up for the reward if you send.

HUCK FINN.

Once I said to myself it would be a thousand times better for Jim to be a slave at home where his family was, as long as he'd GOT to be a slave, and so I'd better write a letter to Tom Sawyer and tell him to tell Miss Watson where he was. But I soon give up that notion for two things: she'd be mad and disgusted at his rascality and ungratefulness for leaving her, and so she'd sell him straight down the river again; and if she didn't, everybody naturally despises an ungrateful nigger, and they'd make Jim feel it all the time, and so he'd feel ornery and disgraced. And then think of ME! It would get all around that Huck Finn helped a nigger to get his freedom; and if I was ever to see anybody from that town again I'd be ready to get down and lick his boots for shame. That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide, it ain't no disgrace. That was my fix exactly. The more I studied about this the more my conscience went to grinding me, and the more wicked and low-down and ornery I got to feeling. And at last, when it hit me all of a sudden that here was the plain hand of Providence slapping me in the face and letting me know my wickedness was being watched all the time from up there in heaven,whilst I was stealing a poor old woman's nigger that hadn't ever done me no harm, and now was showing me there's One that's always on the lookout, and ain't a-going to allow no such miserable doings to go only just so fur and no further, I most dropped in my tracks I was so scared. Well, I tried the best I could to kinder soften it up somehow for myself by saying I was brung up wicked, and so I warn't so much to blame; but something inside of me kept saying, "There was the Sunday-school, you could a gone to it; and if you'd a done it they'd a learnt you there that people that acts as I'd been acting about that nigger goes to everlasting fire." I felt good and all washed clean of sin for the first time I had ever felt so in my life, and I knowed I could pray now. But I didn't do it straight off, but laid the paper down and set there thinking -* thinking how good it was all this happened so, and how near I come to being lost and going to hell. And went on thinking. And got to thinking over our trip down the river; and I see Jim before me all the time: in the day and in the night-time, sometimes moonlight, sometimes storms, and we a-floating along, talking and singing and laughing. But somehow I couldn't seem to strike no places to harden me against him, but only the other kind. I'd see him standing my watch on top of his'n, 'stead of calling me, so I could go on sleeping; and see him how glad he was when I come back out of the fog; and when I come to him again in the swamp, up there where the feud was; and such-like times; and would always call me honey, and pet me and do everything he could think of for me, and how good he always was; and at last I struck the time I saved him by telling the men we had small-pox aboard, and he was so grateful, and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the world, and the ONLY one he's got now; and then I happened to look around and see that paper.

It was a close place. I took it up, and held it in my hand. I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself:

"All right, then, I'll GO to hell" -* and tore it up.

It was awful thoughts and awful words, but they was said. And I let them stay said; and never thought no more about reforming. I shoved the whole thing out of my head, and said I would take up wickedness again, which was in my line, being brung up to it, and the other warn't. And for a starter I would go to work and steal Jim out of slavery again; and if I could think up anything worse, I would do that, too; because as long as I was in, and in for good, I might as well go the whole hog.

I don't know how a thread on English humor got around to Mark Twain -- except that Jane Austen and Mark Twain are the two funniest great novelists in the English language, and as different as they can possibly be.