Atheist Vignettes

[BDS]

My girlfriend’s sister and two kids visited from out of town this weekend. The GF gave one of the kids an “Advent Calender”. Each day, you open a window that reveals a picture and two or three line section of the Christmas story.

The boy (7-year-old Cedar) liked the present, but was nervous about it. He ran up to his parents and asked, “Aunt D. gave me a ‘Jesus story’.” Is it OK if I read it?”

This incident prompted D. to recall her own daughter’s youth. The girl was in 2nd grade (or so). Some of the kids in the public school got to leave 5 minutes early to attend “Bible School”. Apparently, some of D’s daughter’s friends went to Bible School, and rumor had it that milk and cookies were served.

“I want to go to Bible School,” said the daughter.

“No way! You’re not going to Bible School,” said D.

“No fair! No fair!” the daughter was having a temper tantrum. “I want to go to Bible School! I want to go to Bible School!”

How things have changed from the days when every kid tried to get OUT of Bible School. The upshot: the daughter went to two sessions of Bible School before recognizing what most kids through the centuries have known intuitively – Bible School sucks.

[godfry n. glad]

Heh...When I was that age, my believer mother suggested that I might want to attend the summer bible school just two blocks from our home, at the local Baptist church (she was not Baptist, but that didn't seem to matter).

My father, the agnostic, objected. It was his opinion that nobody should be subjected to such indoctrination until they were old enough to make informed judgments about the content.

My mother won, in that I went. But...My father won the concession that if I didn't want to continue, I didn't have to. He must have known...

For, as you note, after a couple of sessions, I found out what most christian kids already knew....bible school, particularly summer bible school, really sucks. It cuts into play time something fierce, and the treats they provide are distinctly substandard.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

All I remember of VBS is that it was an opportunity to go nuts with Elmer's glue and dry macaroni, occasionally with glitter. Every summer I availed myself of said opportunity with gusto.

[Legs]

First of all, I thought the title said atheist vinaigrette :salad: :D

We always get the advent calendars just to get the chocolate every day. They are not religious themed though, usually santas or reindeer.

Bible school? :shudder:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Religious indoctrination camps for kids, who need it most since they're so easily swayed by false teaching... :shiftier:

[Ensign Steve]

Yeah, my advent calendars always had chocolate shaped like little toys like trains and teddy bears. And when you took out a chocolate, there was a picture of the same toy behind it. And the whole thing looked like a Norman Rockwell painting with Santa and a giant tree. No jesus at all.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I was going to make a joke about chocolate-covered baby jebus, but...ewww....

[Ensign Steve]

Ewww, indeed. I'm glad you didn't go there.

[viscousmemories]

First of all, I thought the title said atheist vinaigrette :salad: :D
:laugh:

[Seven of Nine]

Advent calenders have chocolate in 'em? Boy do I feel ripped off that my parents never got me any! What were they thinkin'?

hmm, well. They were thinkin' that I didn't need to have stuff like that until I was old enough to make up my own mind...

and that's a good thing, but still... chocolate! They have chocolate in 'em! :homdrool:

[Stormlight]

I remember advent calenders without chocolate. I think they added chocolate in the 70s or late 60s.

[Ensign Steve]

Yeah, I'm not that old.

[Stormlight]

:glare:

[Seven of Nine]

I remember advent calenders without chocolate. I think they added chocolate in the 70s or late 60s.

Oh, so they didn't deprive me of chocolate after all! Good to know.

...actually, I have nothing to complain about. My mother got me an Easter basket and hid Easter eggs for me to hunt every single year until I was like twenty years old. Then she asked me if she could stop now, and I said, "yes", but in reality I was secretly disappointed. I wanted her to go on hiding those eggs forever. :kickscan:

[Stormlight]

:aww:

[Seven of Nine]

It made me feel special that my mom would go to all that trouble for me every year, and she made Christmas really great, too. :hearts:

[godfry n. glad]

I remember advent calenders without chocolate. I think they added chocolate in the 70s or late 60s.

Oh, so they didn't deprive me of chocolate after all! Good to know.

...actually, I have nothing to complain about. My mother got me an Easter basket and hid Easter eggs for me to hunt every single year until I was like twenty years old. Then she asked me if she could stop now, and I said, "yes", but in reality I was secretly disappointed. I wanted her to go on hiding those eggs forever. :kickscan:

Oh, I love the whole fluffy bunnies and egg hunt things about Easter. It hasn't a damned thing to do with crucifiction and resurrection. None of that zombie stuff.

[Miisa]

Aw, you know what my mother said they did for advent when she was a kid in the 40's? They got an orange and stuck 24 matches into it. They could pull out one match per day, and then at Christmas they could eat the orange.

Yum. :toothpick:


The chocolate you get in those modern things is nasty, anyway.

[Qingdai]

My friend's 7 year old was watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special and told his dad in an outraged voice, "it's Christian!" like he had been tricked.

When I was about 9 a friend convinced me to go to sunday school with her. She received a small bag of M & Ms for bringing me to her class. I remember thinking "so that's Christian charity" when she refused to share any with me on the way home. I am guessing the lesson was about sharing, perhaps the good Samaritan story.

ETA: the chocolate in my 1.99$ advent calendar is pretty good!

[Miisa]

Pssst! I am trying to make the chocolate-deprived feel better!

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Pssst! I am trying to make the chocolate-deprived feel better!

When you could be showing them how to go out and get their own chocolates.

Democrats...

[godfry n. glad]

Advent calendars?

Advent of what?

[Qingdai]

Trader Joe's, $1.99.

That's how you get your own.


ETA: Advent of the end of all this Christmas consumer maaaadddnneesss!

I didn't have those calendars when I was a kid either, I didn't think they existed.

[Miisa]

Pssst! I am trying to make the chocolate-deprived feel better!

When you could be showing them how to go out and get their own chocolates.

Democrats...
Exploitative capitalist-imperialist!

[godfry n. glad]

Well...I mean...I keep hearing about them, but I don't have the slightest as to what the "tradition" relates to...is it 100% commercialism? A way to sell milk chocolate midwinter? It's what Target is using as the concept for their holiday television advertising, right?

It's a countdown, right? Couldn't you do that for every stinkin' holiday? Groundhog's Day advent calendars?

[Miisa]

The grown-up version is a case of beer.

[Ensign Steve]

Advent - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advent)

Advent (from the Latin word adventus, meaning "coming") is a season of the Christian church, the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Christ, in other words, the period immediately preceding Christmas. It is the beginning of the Western Christian year and commences on Advent Sunday. The Eastern churches begin the year on 1 September.[citation needed] The progression of Advent may be marked with an Advent calendar reckoning Advent to start on 1 December, a practice introduced by German Lutherans.

:shrug:

[godfry n. glad]

The grown-up version is a case of beer.

Ah....or the next bottle of single malt.

[Seven of Nine]

I remember advent calenders without chocolate. I think they added chocolate in the 70s or late 60s.

Oh, so they didn't deprive me of chocolate after all! Good to know.

...actually, I have nothing to complain about. My mother got me an Easter basket and hid Easter eggs for me to hunt every single year until I was like twenty years old. Then she asked me if she could stop now, and I said, "yes", but in reality I was secretly disappointed. I wanted her to go on hiding those eggs forever. :kickscan:

Oh, I love the whole fluffy bunnies and egg hunt things about Easter. It hasn't a damned thing to do with crucifiction and resurrection. None of that zombie stuff.

Religious holidays are too somber for me. I, too, love the whole bunnies and Easter Egg things and, for that matter, Santa's reindeer and Christmas gifts and Hallowe'en. I love Hallowe'en!

[Ymir's blood]

I love Halloween, but everyone should already know that.

[mickthinks]

BBC Radio Advent Calendar (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/today/adventcalendar/)

[roastelk]

I actully enjoyed bible camp, but then I got kicked out of teh only bible camp I ever went to. the bble camp types seem to take poorly to pre teens who sneak out at 3am to smoke and drink in bushes... one the other kids brought his dads porno mags. five of us got kicked out, and the parents of the friend i went to the camp with wouldnt let him play with me any more.... not that he ever listened to his parents anyways.

[Dingfod]

All I remember of VBS is that it was an opportunity to go nuts with Elmer's glue and dry macaroni, occasionally with glitter. Every summer I availed myself of said opportunity with gusto.:yeahthat:

[Adam]

The grown-up version is a case of beer.

Ha...I wish you'd posted that a couple weeks ago, I'd have gone out and bought a case of winter beer and had an excuse to drink it!

[Miisa]

Well, you could just drink 17 bottles today...

[Smilin]

Whoahhhh...tizz the season...ya'll know!

I was raised in a strict Christian household and this is the first I've ever been exposed to the whole "Advent Calendar's" thingy...

Is this one of those "heathen Mormon" traditions my father would rant on and on about? :D

[Miisa]

More like "heretic Lutheran" tradition. :eur: