looking for ogden nash poem

[lady cop]

hate to waste a thread on this, but an Irish :ireland: friend of mine referenced an ogden nash poem about the English :unitedkingdom: ( none too flattering i gather) and i can't locate it...i thought someone here would know it. if so, thankyou in advance! :thankee:

[livius drusus]

I've looked around a little and have so far come up empty. I'll keep looking, though. :)

[Farren]

Me too. Can't you remember a phrase from the poem that would narrow it down?

[lady cop]

Me too. Can't you remember a phrase from the poem that would narrow it down?
nope, i am drawing a complete blank...but i'm going to send the Irishman an email about it....if i find out i will let you know so nobody wastes their time on this! i've been obsessing over it! :chin: thanks!

[viscousmemories]

I searched for awhile yesterday too. Unfortunately 'english' comes up a lot in discussions about Ogden Nash, but they're usually about grammar, not the nationality. Brits didn't really bring up any relevant hits either. :shrug:

[maddog]

I visited a few websites and read [quite] a few poems yesterday, but could not recognize anything in particular as matching your description. In this case, if the option is available to you, I'd recommend a trip to the library. In good, old-fashioned books, penned by the author on the front cover, you KNOW you're going to get only "hits" in terms of reading his work. Plus, all the books are in one small shelf space, the pages are all bound together so it's much easier to skim. Just my :twocents:
#188

[livius drusus]

That only works if there's an index, though, unless you plan on reading everything Nash ever wrote. I went through my copy of Marriage Lines, for instance, and there was nothing indicative of England in any of the titles.

[lady cop]

Thanks all! i appreciate your efforts, and yes, i should go to the library! :abook: which i used to do a LOT before i got this pc! :user:

[ceptimus]

I found a Nash anti-Japanese poem. Did this guy hate all foreigners?

How courteous is the Japanese
He always says, "Excuse it, please."
He climbs into his neighbor's garden,
And smiles, and says, "I beg your pardon"
He bows and grins a friendly grin,
And calls his hungry family in,
He grins and bows a friendly bow
"So sorry, this is my garden now."



And this one might be the anti-English one, I suppose.

Let us pause to consider the English
Who when they pause to consider themselves
They get all reticently thrilled and tinglish...
When foreigners ponder world affairs,
why sometimes by doubt they are smitten,
But Englishmen know instinctively that
what the world needs most
Is whatever is best for Great Britain.

[livius drusus]

He he... That's gotta be it. Do you know the title, cep?

[ceptimus]

England Expects from I'm a stranger here myself (1938). (If you can believe what you find on the web). Here's a slightly different version. Maybe there were several verses.

Let us pause to consider the English
Who when they pause to consider themselves
they get all reticently thrilled and tinglish
Because every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz;
That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most
exclusive club there is.

[livius drusus]

I prefer the first version. However, [embarassing anality]that repetition of "they" in verses 2 and 3 of both versions really bugs me.[/embarassing anality]

[lady cop]

BRILLIANTLY DONE Ceptimus!! Thankyou! :appl: :thankee: :super:

[maddog]

I prefer the first version. However, [embarassing anality]that repetition of "they" in verses 2 and 3 of both versions really bugs me.[/embarassing anality]
I liked it better when you Freudianly said, "the repetition of 'they' in bother versions really bugs me." :D
#190

[livius drusus]

Meanie. :hmph:

[Ensign Steve]

How courteous is the Japanese
He always says, "Excuse it, please."
He climbs into his neighbor's garden,
And smiles, and says, "I beg your pardon"
He bows and grins a friendly grin,
And calls his hungry family in,
He grins and bows a friendly bow
"So sorry, this is my garden now."

We are very simple people, with very small penis. So small.

(sorry I had a South Park moment there)

[lady cop]

i just had email from the Irishman that mentioned the poem to me initially...he's looking for it too now...but recalled these two lines..."the English are noted for their pomp and ceremonials, for their love for the colonies and contempt for colonials".

[viscousmemories]

ENGLAND EXPECTS by Ogden Nash

Let us pause to consider the English,

Who when they pause to consider themselves they get all reticently thrilled and tinglish,

Because every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.:

That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is:

A club to which benighted bounders of Frenchmen and Germans and Italians et cetera cannot even aspire to belong.

Because they don't even speak English, and the Americans are worst of all because they speak it wrong.

Englishmen are distinguished by their traditions and ceremonials,

And also by their affection for their colonies and their contempt for their colonials.

When foreigners ponder world affairs, why sometimes by doubts they are smitten,

But Englishmen know instinctively that what the world needs most is whatever is best for Great Britain. Hmm, remember this was written when we were Top nation

They have a splendid navy and they conscientiously admire it,

And every English schoolboy knows that John Paul jones was only an unfair American pirate.

English people disclaim sparkle and verve,

But speak without reservations of their Anglo-Saxon reserve.

After listening to little groups of English ladies and gentlemen at cocktail parties and in hotels and Pullmans, of defining Anglo-Saxon reserve I despair,

But I think it consists of assuming that nobody else is there,

And I shudder to think where Anglo-Saxon reserve ends when I consider where it begins,

Which is in a few high-pitched statements of what one's income is and just what foods give one a rash and whether one and one's husband or wife sleep in a double bed or twins.

All good young Englishmen go to Oxford or Cambridge and they all write and publish books before their graduation,

And I often wondered how they did it until I realized that they have to do it because their genteel accents are so developed that they can no longer understand each other's spoken words so the written word is their only means of intercommunication.

England is the last home of the aristocracy, and the art of protecting the aristocracy from the encroachments of commerce has been raised to quite an art.

Because in America a rich butter-and-egg man is only a rich butter-and-egg man or at most an honorary LL.D of some hungry university, but in England why before he knows it he is Sir Benjamin Buttery, Bart.
Anyhow, I think the English people are sweet,

And we might as well get used to them because when they slip and fall they always land on their own or somebody else's feet.

[maddog]

BRAVO!
#193

[lady cop]

FANTASTIC VM!! THANKYOU SO VERY MUCH! :kisscheek:

[viscousmemories]

Aw shucks. :blush:

T'weren't nothin' but a little Googlin'.

[CARLA]

:bow: GOTTA LOVE GOOGLE.. :yup:

What did we do before GOOGLE.. Hummmm :chin: I like Ladycop actually made trips to the Library to do the research. I just drive my it now.. :giggle: