Piss/Moan & Rant Thread, 2008

[Sock Puppet]

My first rant is that my last rant thread dropped somewhere into the archives and I'm too lazy to fish it out. What's the matter with you people? Are your lives so freaking perfect that you can't keep one lousy rant thread alive? The very idea.

Secondly, I'm sick of these damned allergies. With all the warnings about this place being hell in the summer and deluged in the winter, nobody remembered to mention that the tree-pollen count goes through the roof in freaking JANUARY. I forgot my allergy meds today, so I'm bloody miserable. My eyes feel like they're swollen half shut, and if my nose gets any itchier I'm in danger of rubbing it off. To top it off, everybody and their goddamned brother seems to want to talk to me today, and I have to pretend I give a shit what they're talking about while inwardly wishing they would either go away, contract laryngitis, or just die.

Thirdly, what is it with people wanting to talk about what I'm EATING? Am I the only person who gets annoyed by this? My door is shut for a REASON. I eat at my desk because I'd rather look at stuff on the computer than sit in a cafeteria, not because I want you aquarium-patron rubberneckers to stare at me and say how good what I'm eating looks. Go get your own. I.e., LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. :rant:

[SharonDee]

Uh-oh. I'm guilty of committing some of those "coworker sins" against my office mate. :blush:


Er, I mean: Fuck, must they add one more stupid "drop everything else and do this" item to my task list?! In spite of my requisitioning another one, there's still only one me. :madrant:

[Adam]

So, we're trying to convince our business area that the upgrade of their web portal to the new version of Sharepoint, along with all the changes they're requesting at the same time, just ain't happening by April. Especially since the requirements aren't even finalized yet, and we're working like mad to get started on what we think the requirements are going to be when they make up their minds. But, management wants to have extra ammo to make their case to business.

So...

As of this morning, we're all (and by "we", I mean the development team and myself, not the business, or the analysts responsible for dragging the requirements out of the business) on 50 hour work weeks until further notice. And we have to work on Monday, even thought it's a company holiday. Oh, and they're reducing headcount amongst our Indian contractors. I'm seriously about ready to punch someone, or at least choke a bitch.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

What the fuck has happened to bookstores? It used to be I could go into one and hear light classical, jazz (the real stuff, not this "smooth jazz" vomit) and folk on at pleasantly low volumes while peacably browsing, maybe sitting down to have a drink in the cafe. Now the music is played at obnoxious levels, and it's grating radio singles with the occasional "I love you, Jesus. Save me, Jesus. Love you, love you, love you. Oh Jesus, I'm coming. OOOOOoooooohhh" tripe. You know what, store-owners? The people who suck up that sonic slime with a twist of lyrical feces don't shop at your fucking store! So cut it out.

I understand it's to bring in the younger crowd. But you know what the younger crowd does? They yell to each other across the store, have painfully stupid and unavoidable conversations on their cell phones, take over entire sections at a time to "hang out" for hours and generally make it impossible for those of us who are looking for the books which probably don't have pictures to have any peace at all. You know, the people who don't use your store as a library with no intent to purchase anything? The people with more disposable income?

And why the hell do you carry CD's and DVD's? In case you haven't noticed, the big box outfits sell them for a lot less, so all this merchandise does is take up space. Space that used to be for BOOKS. I don't really like using Amazon.com for book-browsing and purchases, but I do that now more often than not because one of my few places of public refuge has turned into a fucking Romper Room for Ritalin Retards. :glare:

[Shelli]

Sock Puppet :rarrow: :fishbowl:

[Spenser]

They should make an entire forum for something like this thread...

[Watser?]

That would be boring dude.

[Shelli]

:yeahthat: :yawn:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Thirdly, what is it with people wanting to talk about what I'm EATING? Am I the only person who gets annoyed by this? My door is shut for a REASON. I eat at my desk because I'd rather look at stuff on the computer than sit in a cafeteria, not because I want you aquarium-patron rubberneckers to stare at me and say how good what I'm eating looks. Go get your own. I.e., LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. :rant:

Twice in the last 5 minutes. One of them jokingly struck me in the arm and pretended she was going to take my lunch. I like this person, but she ringed me.

Yeah, I'm going to be throwing my stapler soon (old school, solid metal casing, etc).

[Spenser]

I feel like such a useless admin now. :sadcheer:

[Shelli]

:patpat:

[Smilin]

Thirdly, what is it with people wanting to talk about what I'm EATING? Am I the only person who gets annoyed by this? My door is shut for a REASON. I eat at my desk because I'd rather look at stuff on the computer than sit in a cafeteria, not because I want you aquarium-patron rubberneckers to stare at me and say how good what I'm eating looks. Go get your own. I.e., LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. :rant:

Twice in the last 5 minutes. One of them jokingly struck me in the arm and pretended she was going to take my lunch. I like this person, but she ringed me.

Yeah, I'm going to be throwing my stapler soon (old school, solid metal casing, etc).

She needs a good bonin' dude! :lol:

[Shelli]

I'm afraid to ask, but I will anyway. What's a bonin'?

[Smilin]

:lol:

:fuckglomp::bedtime::3some2::showerlv::sex::blowme:

I'm sure you get the picture... :lol:

[Shelli]

heh, somehow I doubt that Uthgar would be interested. :giggle:

[Smilin]

thus the fun and irony of the whole matter, eh?

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Smilin's gonna have to do the honours... :yuck:

[godfry n. glad]

I don't really like using Amazon.com for book-browsing and purchases, but I do that now more often than not because one of my few places of public refuge has turned into a fucking Romper Room for Ritalin Retards. :glare:


RAAAAAAAA-men!

:fsm:

Also, awesome alliterative association.

[Caligulette]

I'm afraid to ask, but I will anyway. What's a bonin'?

Interestingly, there are no bones involved in a boner....

Or, maybe not all that interestingly.

OK- I am tired of old people (there, I said it) ask if we have a senior citizen's discount. First off, if we had an old person's discount, we would not card for citizenship, second off, we sell used books for about half of what the new versions cost, so there's your fucken discount, pal. Also, it would help your finances if you weren't picking out $60.00 books about railroad lines which no longer exist.

Also- Homeschoolers do not qualify for a school and library discount. Why? Because they are neither schools nor libraries. It really is that simple.

And- If you are signalling left, please don't turn right. Also- tailgating me at 60 miles an hour in your un-see-around-able SUV will not compell me to change lanes. Did I mention I could not see around you? Yah, like I'm going to leap into probably on-coming traffic so you can go save a life, since the only reason for you to be going so fast in the rain would be your being a doctor on the way to a medical emergency. Next time, bring your ambulance, speedfreak!

[Sock Puppet]

I don't really like using Amazon.com for book-browsing and purchases, but I do that now more often than not because one of my few places of public refuge has turned into a fucking Romper Room for Ritalin Retards. :glare:


RAAAAAAAA-men!

:fsm:

Also, awesome alliterative association.:yeahthat:

[lisarea]

CDC - Influenza (Flu) | Weekly Report: U.S. Map, Influenza Summary Update- Week 49, 2007-2008 Season (http://www.cdc.gov/flu/weekly/usmap.htm)

See that brown rectangle in the middle of the vast expanse of health and vigor? That's us. Not just Colorado. Our house specifically. Seriously, that's how sick we are that we alone qualify the state as Sick Guy Land.

Also, fuck scopecreep. Especially boringassed and stupid scopecreep. I'm not some kind of Microsoft Word formatter person. I don't even have any Word or any Microsofts here, so even if I were inclined to do 1000 pounds of dumb shit beyond what you're paying me to do, I would not be able to do that. Go buy a monkey or something.

[Naru]

Here's my mini-rant.

For the low-level physics that's required for my major, you are allowed to miss one lab period without penalty. Should you miss another, your final grade is lowered a full letter grade (12 points out of 100). The ten lab reports we'll do this semester count for 5% (total, not each), meaning that if you miss the second lab, you have missed 1% of the grades for the year, but get your final average lowered by 12% on top of that :wtf:

[Shelli]

:pee: :whine: :rant:

There. I've done my part. :walk:

[Adam]

Smilin's gonna have to do the honours... :yuck:

OMG CARFULL ULL CATCH TEH STRATE!!1ELEVEN!

:giggle:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

NO MERRIMENT IN THE PISS/MOAN & RANT THREAD, 2008! :glare:

[Adam]

I'M JUST GIVING YOU CHEERFUL BITCHES SOMETHING TO PISS AND MOAN ABOUT!

[ShottleBop]

And why the hell do you carry CD's and DVD's? In case you haven't noticed, the big box outfits sell them for a lot less, so all this merchandise does is take up space. Space that used to be for BOOKS. I don't really like using Amazon.com for book-browsing and purchases, but I do that now more often than not because one of my few places of public refuge has turned into a fucking Romper Room for Ritalin Retards. :glare:

Hey! I found my copy of "Hogfather" at a Borders! That justifies their carrying DVDs/CDs, in my book!

[JamesBannon]

Gah! My electricity is about to run out AGAIN! That's £80 in less than a friggin' month! Damn this bloody cold weather when you're short of cash! :madrant:

[Garnet]

To my soon to be former co-workers:

It is never appropriate to greet me and my fellow female cubby mate with the phrase, "Mornin' hos." It is particularly pathetic to use this greeting when you are a 50ish white woman from South Carolina.

Yes, it is my lunch. Yes, it does taste good. Yes, my husband is a good cook and NO YOU CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANY.

I don't care if you have a doctorate in Economics, that doesn't make you qualified to be a business analyst. You should not write use cases like English is your second language. Further, you should never, ever, EVER attempt to write in psuedo-code...particularly in a functional design document. Moron.

It is not acceptable to touch my face...EVER. I don't care if that's how you show affection. I'm not your fucking sister and the next time you do that I may actually rip off your head and shit down your neck.

The next time you need to have a three-hour conversation with developers on a speaker phone at top volume GET A FUCKING CONFERENCE ROOM. Don't do this in the cubicle space you share with me...every day...for 4 fucking weeks.

When I am sitting at my desk, with a furrowed brow, typing furiously, with ear plugs in, late in the evening before a deliverable deadline, it is NOT a good time to tap me on the shoulder to tell me the stupid joke du jour.

If you have a very thick foreign accent, speaking louder will not help me to understand you. Trust me on that one.

I don't know means exactly that. It is not an invitation to re-phrase the question 8 or 9 different ways.

Similarly, no means no. Do not proceed to ask me over and over and over again in hopes I will change my mind and say yes. I've only got 2 days left on this job. Do not tempt me to pop you in the snoot.

Two more days...I just have two more days...:doorhitass:

[JamesBannon]

:yay: Good one Garnet. I enjoyed reading that one, especially the bit about writing code in a functional specification: functional specifications describe what things do, not how they do them :dumbass:

[godfry n. glad]

Ah, yes...coworkers. That other four-letter word.

It sounds to me like you need to piss in somebody's coke/coffee.

This:

It is never appropriate to greet me and my fellow female cubby mate with the phrase, "Mornin' hos." It is particularly pathetic to use this greeting when you are a 50ish white woman from South Carolina.

at my employment, would be considered "sexual harrassment" and the perp would by disciplined, forced into training, and threatened with dismissal, under the Equal Employment Opportunity Act, without recourse to any kind of confrontation with accusers, or even know who the accusers were. A real "Star Chamber" experience. Have you tried reporting this to HR? It'd be better than smacking her one in the snoot, which could garner you a battery charge. It's the new censorship! Get in on it while it lasts!

Or, just respond with, "Morning, Coprophagia."

[Garnet]

I've been tempted...believe me.

[Garnet]

:yay: Good one Garnet. I enjoyed reading that one, especially the bit about writing code in a functional specification: functional specifications describe what things do, not how they do them :dumbass:

Bing-fucking-o

[Dingfod]

I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me and me alone because it seems like everyone else but me "stopped" at traffic lights always creep forward little by little, often so far forward they're blocking the crosswalks or their front bumper is inches away from the vehicle in front of them. Don't they know that if they would allow a little space between their vehicle and the one in front of them, the could actually start going forward when the light turns green much sooner than waiting for the others all to start going first? Don't they realize that if the vehicle in front of them stalls out and they have to go around them, but they can't because they're too damn close to the other vehicle's bumper just to steer around them? Don't the realize that if they get hit from behind, being really close to the one in front of them makes it far more likely their vehicle will in turn hit that one from behind? Am I the only one that understands this? Or am I the weird one, not conforming to what appears to be "the standard" of stoplight behavior?

[Master Taran]

Yes, it is my lunch. Yes, it does taste good. Yes, my husband is a good cook and NO YOU CAN'T FUCKING HAVE ANY.And I keep telling her that she needs to tell these people that I cook for 2. And they ain't one of them. :fuming:

[Shelli]

:chuckle: Dingfod, my husband and I were just commenting about that as we waited at a light coming back from grocery shopping last weekend. Tards. :rolleye2:

[Qingdai]

CDC - Influenza (Flu) | Weekly Report: U.S. Map, Influenza Summary Update- Week 49, 2007-2008 Season (http://www.cdc.gov/flu/weekly/usmap.htm)

See that brown rectangle in the middle of the vast expanse of health and vigor? That's us. Not just Colorado. Our house specifically. Seriously, that's how sick we are that we alone qualify the state as Sick Guy Land.

See the obnoxious plaid state in the far left corner? You know why it says "sporadic"? It's because we were too sick to get out of bed to "report" that we had the flu.

By the way if you live in my apartment building, that's great you want to get rid of your ugly crap. If you leave it outside again on the corner with a free sign, during the first rainy day, again, I'm going to fucking huck it in your closed window.

[Caligulette]

"Free Wet Junk". Great.

[Qingdai]

Free wet junk blocking the driveway, so every bugger who walks by has to check it out when I am trying to turn around and park.

:shakebike:

[Corona688]

:shakebike: Ooh. Possibly the most utilitarian of the shaking-stuff series.

Why do satellite dishes always go out of alignment when it's twenty below? What the hell are we doing not just maintaining them, but setting them up in the black and bitter cold? I swear I've done more satellite work in winter parkas than short sleeves. And that's when we can get to them. At least I managed to convince my boss that laptops work less than well in twenty below, hence that snowmobile maintenance is a stupid idea.

[Angakuk]

Scalloped corn and scalloped pineapple and other scalloped shit that ain't scallop shaped. Scallops are tasty little sea critters and stuff that is shaped like them. Period. Veal scallopini, chicken scallopini and scalloped potatoes are scalloped because the veal, the chicken and the potatoes are cut into a scallop shape, not because they are baked in sauce with bread crumbs sprinkled on top. So just when did scalloped start to mean any cassarole baked in a sauce with bread crumbs sprinkled on top? Don't get me wrong, I like scalloped corn and scalloped pineapple, but for God's sake, please call them something else. This really pisses me off.

* Angakuk doesn't have enough important stuff to be angry about.

[Farren]

I keep thinking of stuff I'd like to write essays about and file under various categories for easy browsing and share with the world so I started a blog (http://myxomycota.blogspot.com/). Now I can't think of a single goddamn thing I wanted to write about. I'm just drawing a complete blank. Which is what my blog is. Completely blank.

Grrr..

[JamesBannon]

Gah! Couldn't sleep last night, just finished a 2-hour therapy session & now I'm damn well exhausted :grumpy: Now I have to go buy electricity before my meter runs out and get something for dinner. I'll do that in an hour or so.

[Watser?]

Why the fuck is it that my fucking keyboard decides to change at the drop of a hat? So that all the non-letters and non-figures are located somewhere else? And I have to close the word page, browser page or whatever it is that I am working on and re-open it to get it to work properly again?
Well? Huh?
Bah!
Also: why is it that when I go for what is supposed to be a quiet walk around the waterfront that there are people driving cars everywhere? Don't they have a better place to be like somewhere in the vacuum of outer space? Grrrrrrr! :madrant:

[Shelli]

People that bitch and moan all the time. :glare: Except for myself, of course. :biggrin:

[Nullifidian]

Since I couldn't get anyone to take me up on the correspondence chess thread, I went to a correspondence chess site Angakuk recommended to me. Everyone there is given a provisional rating of 1200, which is carefully designed to make sure you never play chess with anybody. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much. Here's the lineup of games to join right as I'm writing right now:

1. Let's play chess zepeixe (1928, W) 4 days min rating: 1850
2. Play chess with me ryvvo (827, B) 3 days max rating: 900
3. Let's play chess zepeixe (1928, W) 4 days min rating: 1850
4. Let's play chess zepeixe (1928, W) 4 days min rating: 1850
5. Let's play chess d977 (1695, B) 3 days min rating: 1600
6. Let's play chess mehti_1 (1593, W) 6 days min rating: 1500

Everyone has their minimum rating set higher than mine, or their maximum rating set lower than mine.

Aside from one person who preys on inexperienced players in order to push up his ratings—and is in for a shock—the only other people I'm playing are other 1200 provisionally rated players. And now that I've won my first game, it's now telling me that my matches against these provisionally rated people will give me 0 points in the case of a win, -100 in the case of a draw, and -200 points in the case of a loss. I'm about the chess rather than points-mongering, but I think my points should be more than zero in the case of a win, when I'm playing practically the only people I can play.

So this a threetwofold rant and whine: 1) I didn't get anybody to respond in the correspondence chess thread, 2) I can't win even if I win by this points system now, and 3) I really, really hate players whose only means of pushing up their ratings is to play against people who are less skilled than themselves.

ETA: Pan Narrans is playing chess with me! :powerwoot:

However, people who prey on the inexperienced and score ratings systems that make no objective sense still suck.

[Dingfod]

Gah! Couldn't sleep last night, just finished a 2-hour therapy session & now I'm damn well exhausted :grumpy: Now I have to go buy electricity before my meter runs out and get something for dinner. I'll do that in an hour or so.You have to prepay for electricity? Man, it sucks to be you. Here they can't even legally shut off the power in the winter time, not even for nonpayment.

[godfry n. glad]

Dognamdit...

The new CEO at my place of employment has announced that the institution is too far in debt ($37 million beyond projected budgets accrued in the past two years) and lost a court case to the effect that their physicians and surgeons were protected by a $200,000 liability cap because we are a "state institution". We're in a fiscal nosedive.

This means a decrease in budgets equivalent to 15% cut, across the board. Will they approach it in that fashion, across the board cuts? Well, they have in the past. What it amounts to is crippling effective programs which operate within budget and save revenue loss programs that just aren't working and make them work even worse. Stupidity incarnate.

Of course, the institution just finished a major capital project that included a new wing on the hospital and an aerial tram to shuttle staff and patients between the main campus on the hillside and the new "health center" at the riverfront. The latter was projected to cost $12 million eight years back. I predicted then that by the time it was done, it would cost at least three times that. By the time they started construction on it two years back, they'd managed to suck the city to provide subsidies so that taxpayers in the city could enjoy paying their part of it, even if they had to pay to ride it. A very vocal element was demanding the termination of the project, or, at minimum, the extraction of city participation and funds. By the time the damned thing was done, it had outstripped even my inflated expectations...the total bill was $57 million dollars (almost five times the original estimates) and the city was picking up 15%, leaving $48.5 million for the university to pay.

There's the problem....

And you know what? Those who will suffer through the layoffs attendant to the belt-tightening WILL NOT BE THE SUMBITCHES WHO GOT US TO THIS POINT. No....They being executives of the institution, will continue and will continue to pull down six figure annual incomes, while nurses' aides, student assistants, clerical staff, lab assistants, and other support staff who will get pink slips. The numbnuts who was the university's point man and apologist on this project has been subsequently been promoted to executive vice president. The city engineer who sucked the city into involvement with lies has been terminated at the city and subsequently employed out of state by the private developer behind the whole nightmare, earning six times what he did working for the city.

Oh...and the price of health care will go up. Here, at least.

[Caligulette]

I want my own bed. I love everyone in this house, but I want them all out of my bed. I want to keep books under my pillow and not have some wimp cry about the corners poking them. Maybe if they were on their own darned side of the bed, this would not happen. And what's with all this breathing of my air? Honestly, I don't care if you have just brushed your teeth- the air that you expell was just in you and I don't want it on me. It makes my neck damp.

Now that I know I can put together such a thing I am on the verge of getting myself my own darned loft bed and setting it up cross-wise over the other bed. He can have the big under bed, and I would have the smaller uber bed. I think that's fair, but he keeps laughing, "Ho ho, you just need more cuddling". Not when I'm trying to sleep, I do not, and I will start choosing pointier books if you don't back off and breathe away from me!

(Yes, I do love him. But I love him better when we're not trying to sleep.)

[Uthgar the Brazen]

And you know what? Those who will suffer through the layoffs attendant to the belt-tightening WILL NOT BE THE SUMBITCHES WHO GOT US TO THIS POINT. No....They being executives of the institution, will continue and will continue to pull down six figure annual incomes, while nurses' aides, student assistants, clerical staff, lab assistants, and other support staff who will get pink slips. The numbnuts who was the university's point man and apologist on this project has been subsequently been promoted to executive vice president. The city engineer who sucked the city into involvement with lies has been terminated at the city and subsequently employed out of state by the private developer behind the whole nightmare, earning six times what he did working for the city.

They will also pull down a gigantic bonus equivalent to several "lesser" employees' annual pay for making the "hard decision" to make other people suffer. Also for which the stockholders will cheer and reward incompetence by improving share values.

[JamesBannon]

Shit rolls down hill Godfry. It's always the same, the little guy pays for the mistake of the "important people". E.g., recently our health unit got into financial difficulties and asked the nurses to work without pay whilst still accepting delivery of carpets and big desks for management offices.

[Chris Porter]

I hate JSTOR. I have too many google queries wind up at JSTOR, and I'm not about to pay over 10 dollars for every science article, just to satisfy my curiosity.

And that is my rant.

[Shelli]

Fucking. Snow.

[Naru]

I know, the fucking snow here was only good for one snow day. I feel sorry for all the poor RA's out there that have to shovel it :P

[Shelli]

:shakenaruto:

[godfry n. glad]

And you know what? Those who will suffer through the layoffs attendant to the belt-tightening WILL NOT BE THE SUMBITCHES WHO GOT US TO THIS POINT. No....They being executives of the institution, will continue and will continue to pull down six figure annual incomes, while nurses' aides, student assistants, clerical staff, lab assistants, and other support staff who will get pink slips. The numbnuts who was the university's point man and apologist on this project has been subsequently been promoted to executive vice president. The city engineer who sucked the city into involvement with lies has been terminated at the city and subsequently employed out of state by the private developer behind the whole nightmare, earning six times what he did working for the city.

They will also pull down a gigantic bonus equivalent to several "lesser" employees' annual pay for making the "hard decision" to make other people suffer. Also for which the stockholders will cheer and reward incompetence by improving share values.

No shareholders, no shares. It's a non-profit "public corporation" where the governance is by a board of directors appointed by the governor, with the institutional CEO serving as an ex-officio member. (The institutional CEO is the highest paid public official in the state, making more annual income than the governor.) From my view, the institution is the victim of the city elite who engineered this whole shebang, which includes a high-end, high intensity, urban-renewal project riverside condo development with my institution as a stakeholder in possible development of a second campus. Thanks to a child-diddling former mayor/governor, now a "retired" slick private attorney, the institution was sold a bill of goods, which they extorted the city to buy in on as the subsidy paying risk taker.

All mistakes are on the taxpayer (or premium payer) dime.

[Qingdai]

I hate JSTOR. I have too many google queries wind up at JSTOR, and I'm not about to pay over 10 dollars for every science article, just to satisfy my curiosity.

And that is my rant.

I usually end up at Elesevier, purveyors of really expensive textbooks and far too expensive research articles.

Bastidges! :shakefist:

[Ensign Steve]

You can take those results out of your search. For example, if you want to search for wibble but you don't want any results from urban dictionary, you search for this:

wibble -site:urbandictionary.com

wibble -urbandictionary.com - Google Search (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=wibble+-urbandictionary.com)

Here's the results for just wibble:

wibble - Google Search (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=wibble)

[Adam]

In the same vein as godfry's rant:

All right, Company. You tried to sell out to private investors, we all got high on money for a while, then the Democrats showed the only ghost of a spine they've demonstrated since taking power and cut the subsidies that your entire retarded business model is based on, the buyers backed out, the stock price plummeted, you pissed and moaned, you tried to strongarm me into writing your stupid astroturf letters to my representatives, you went to court, my stock is worth less than I paid for it (Thanks, Employee Stock Purchase Plan!), the options you've been giving me in lieu of real bonuses are worth less than nothing, I didn't even get any pretend bonus this year, you cut my benefits, you lie to me and tell me shit that is flatly contradicted by what I read in the news, and now you're laying off people that I work with and know? Fuck you, Company. How about you lay off the geniuses who decided to sell the company knowing damn good and well that their subsidies were drying up? How about you fire the CEO who mouthed off to the investors and dropped an F bomb on the earnings call last month? How about you just all go fuck yourselves????

*ahem*

I'm better now, I swear.

[Watser?]

:shakekeyboard:

There, that'll learn it!

[Shelli]

Why is it that every night while I'm brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed (no matter what time that is) that you have to take a stink ass shit while I'm in there? WHY? You're telling me that you couldn't come up a little earlier and stink the place up and then use some air freshener? What the fuck is the problem with having a little courtesy? What? Do you honestly think that your shit stink is a commodity?? That everyone is just dying to get a good wiff of it? Well, let me clue you in, NO ONE WANTS TO SMELL YOUR SHIT. NO. ONE.

And.. speaking of shit, I strategically placed the air freshener within your reach from the toilet so that you'd USE THE FUCKING THING after you're done smelling the place up. So, how 'bouts you USE IT so that I don't gag on the overwhelming smell of your bodily waste when I enter the bathroom?!!

Well, I've asked politely for some consideration on this issue countless times and I've ranted about the lack of your consideration countless times, so you've left me no other alternative than driving my point home the hard way. Not hard on me this time, but hard on you. You get one more chance and then you pay the price. You will be disgusted and you will be pissed, this I can guarantee, but I will not be either. I will be quite pleased. :pleased:

The above is an actual real life :rant: from this morning. :curtsey:

It happens again and I'm going to scoop some dog shit into a bag and place it beside his couch. I just haven't decided at what time of the day to do that yet. Do I want him to wake up to the stench or sit there wondering what the hell that smell is while he's watching the boob tube. Decisions, decisions.... :girlthink:

:shakepoo:

[freemonkey]

:eep:

[Ermintrude]

Here's one I've just been moaning at a friend about. It's peaceful, most of the people around bore you to hell, you feel relaxed and slope off for a quiet cigarette and a bit of a walk just being there and composing this incredible thing you'll write if you ever live to be 155.

Then from nowhere "You alright?" "You sure?" WTF business is it of yours? Of course I'm alright - or I was as long as I got away from you.

Some people are so shallow and witless that unless they're constantly making a noise about nothing together they're frightened they might not exist. Or they're just plain bloody nosey - and I feel like giving them one.

[Ensign Steve]

Here's one I've just been moaning at a friend about. It's peaceful, most of the people around bore you to hell, you feel relaxed and slope off for a quiet cigarette and a bit of a walk just being there and composing this incredible thing you'll write if you ever live to be 155.
I thought you said "wank". :giggles:

Then from nowhere "You alright?" "You sure?" WTF business is it of yours? Of course I'm alright - or I was as long as I got away from you.

Some people are so shallow and witless that unless they're constantly making a noise about nothing together they're frightened they might not exist. Or they're just plain bloody nosey - and I feel like giving them one.
Srsly, I hate that shit, too.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I third that motion, Ermintrude! To blend some rants together, some people can't seem to imagine having an actual thought or three unless they're taking a shit.

[Shelli]

:shakepoo:

[Dingfod]

My supervisor has been caught with illicit stuff on his work computer and may be fired. I'll probably find out tomorrow. I fear the end result will be the end of my at work participation at :ff:, which will curtail my :ff: participation by at least 75%. That's just not right.


On the other hand, if I got fired, it would greatly increase the amount of time I have for :ff:. Except for the being broke part, that would be cool.

[godfry n. glad]

I hate JSTOR. I have too many google queries wind up at JSTOR, and I'm not about to pay over 10 dollars for every science article, just to satisfy my curiosity.

And that is my rant.

I usually end up at Elesevier, purveyors of really expensive textbooks and far too expensive research articles.

Bastidges! :shakefist:

For that matter, the whole college textbook thing is extortion in action.

:shakegodfry:

And Elesevier? They deserve multiple trips through Cthluthu's maw. If for no other reason than the serialization of Biochemica et Biophysica Acta. :shakecthluthu:

[Leesifer]

I just love being told to "stop moaning", even if it is in jest, when you give me the wrong fucking roll out dates and ask me to get two servers ready for "go live" when all you other fuckers are in the foreign offices and I'm on my own in the London office.

Please conveniently forget that I am also doing my normal job along with this fucking roll out project. Oh, and of course, I'm available all hours of the day and night for queries about your fucking project. Fuckers!

Fapping cunts!

[Histrionica]

You know what i got in my lunch guys? I was lucky if i got a peanut butter sandwich and an apple or am unpeeled carrot. Not only do you get a complete lunch, but it's nutritionally sound and varies every 2 or 3 days. I don't throw poison at you like the wives/mothers around you, either.

Lunchables? Sure, if you'd like your organs to give out at 30.

How about i just throw a sandwich at you and call it good? No more homemade burritos or falafels or panninis or quesadillas. No more cookies or squares or fruit salads or cake or pie.

I'm sick of this whole thankless fucking job. :girlcry:

[Ensign Steve]

Will you be my mom? Or at least my personal chef?

[Histrionica]

If you say Thanks! even once a week, you betcha!

[godfry n. glad]

I got blowknee sammiches, is what I got. With celery and carrot sticks.

Sometimes I got a cookie. I always hadda buy milk. It was only 3¢ for a half pint.

That's when I din't go home for lunch. When I goed home for lunch, sometimes I gots hot homemade 'tato soup. Mmmmmm.....mmmm.

That's when my mom wasn't in the nuthatch.

[Histrionica]

Your mom and my mom shoulda started a coffee klatch. *snort*

[Shelli]

You make what for their lunches and they complain?? If they don't want it, please, feel free to send it my way. :hellyes:

Oh, and here's a few thankee's to getcha started... :thankee: :thankee: :thankee: :thankee: :thankee: :thankee: :thankee:

:hungry:

[Qingdai]

Your mom and my mom shoulda started a coffee klatch. *snort*

Add my mother and you could've re-enacted the three crazy witches from Hamlet.
I made my own damn lunches.

[Histrionica]

We should start a How Crazy Was YOUR Mom? thread. It would be interestin', and as long as you have a black one, funny as hell.

[Ensign Steve]

A black mom? :scratch:

[Dingfod]

I'm in Cingular-SBC-ATT hell. Wife now has a Blackberry paid for by her employer. In order to minimize cellphone cost, I killed the insurance and trimmed the service on her old phone back to a minimum, then suspended the account. I still have to pay the same amount for phone service because to cancel would cost more than paying out the remaining 14 months of the bill. The cancellation fee is two-fucking-hundred-forty dollars.

We still have three of us sharing 700 anytime minutes on the account, cancellation would cost the same two-fucking-hundred-forty dollars each. That might be worth it in the larger scheme of things, especially considering that #1 Daughter is using up stored up rollover minutes faster than we accumulated them. It irritates the ever-loving hell out of me that Cingular-SBC-ATT doesn't prorate the termination fee over the contract term (24 months). It's just not fair.

If I had the money right now, I'd cancel all four phones on this account and make both daughters get their own damn cellphones if they must have one. Then, I'd get one of those prepaid cellphone services using my existing piece of crap phone. Good gawd, how did we ever get by without cellphones?

[lisarea]

Check all of the little disclosures really carefully. If AT&T makes any kind of material changes to contract--including rate changes, arbitration clauses, shit like that--you might be able to get out without paying an ETF.

In fact, here's one. (http://forums.slickdeals.net/showthread.php?t=724295) If you don't have a text message bundle thingy with your plan, it looks like that'd qualify.

[godfry n. glad]

Good gawd, how did we ever get by without cellphones?

Heh...I had mine taken away from me...well, from where it was recharging on the front room secretary....because I never used it.

Hell, I hardly use the regular stationary phone around here any more. That's because even though I can hear it ringing (when I have the aids in), I can't find it because it's not where it's supposed to be in handset recharger. It's hidden under some pile of whatever.

That means the voicemail picks them up before I find the handset. The thing is, the SO changed the service over to service with voicemail and caller ID, but neither one of us remembers how to access our voicemail messages.

If I keep this up, the only phone on which anyone will be able to contact will be my work phone.

...when I retire, I'll disappear.

[Angakuk]

I have a pre-paid phone (Virgin Mobile). I have to top up with a minimum of $20 every 90 days. That works out to about $6.66 a month. Only twice in 3 years have I had to purchase extra minutes (I don't use the phone very much, obviously). All things considered, it is a pretty cheap investment for a tool that is very useful on those occasions when I really need it. Now here is my rant. I have been buying my top up cards at the local Wal-Mart and they have stopped carrying the $20 card. So, if I use a card to top up I now have to buy the $30 card. I don't need the damn $30 card. $20 is plenty for me. I could give Virgin Mobile a credit card number and top up that way, but I prefer not using my credit cards online anymore than is absolutely necessary. A local convenience store used to carry the Virgin cards, but they have dropped them altogether. I can buy a Fast Card (universal top up card) but the lowest value available is $25 and after tax it comes to something like $27. The Virgin $20 card actually costs less than $20, even after sales tax is added. End result, Wal-Mart, by discontinuing the $20 card, has effectively raised the minimum rate for my phone service. Damn Wal-Mart all to hell.

[JamesBannon]

Don't use a mobile 'phone. Used to have one for work, but rarely used it. Hate the damn things!

[Sock Puppet]

So my "allergies" graduated, it seems. I have a nasty fucking cold now. In addition to the cough that never really went away, I have a lovely congestion that makes it damned difficult to sleep. I'm way too accustomed to having the use of my nose, so I'm on a steep learning curve for the mouth-breathing, pillow-drooling method of sleeping. I discovered extra-strength Mucinex, which helps a great deal, but I'm still gonna bitch about it.

I took yesterday as a sick day. I should take the whole damned week, but half the rest of my staff is out sick too. Then there are the performance reviews that I'll need another gallon of coffee to even think about seriously, let alone actually write up. Blehhh.

[livius drusus]

I can't believe they didn't give you MLK as a holiday. Buncha racists.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I can't believe they didn't give you MLK as a holiday. Buncha racists.

He'd just have wasted it on WoW. I did!

[Shelli]

I didn't get yesterday off either. Rat bastards. :rant:

[Qingdai]

A black mom? :scratch:

I think she may be referring to the insult game of dirty dozens.

You know, my mama's so fat every time she put on a red dress, everyone yelled, "hey Koolaide." That sort of thing.

[JamesBannon]

Boy, I'm so damned :sleepy: and I daren't go to bed until late because I need to :sleep: tonight! :rant:

[Crumb]

yo mama!

[Sock Puppet]

I can't believe they didn't give you MLK as a holiday. Buncha racists.

He'd just have wasted it on WoW. I did!Well, I was home, and I'll have you know that I only wasted an hour or so on WoW. Probably because I spent a good portion of the day sleeping.

[Dingfod]

When I made my way to the front part of the house this morning at 4:45 AM, on my way out the door to go to work, I found #2 Daughter playing WoW using my 27" widescreen monitor. Grrrrr!

[Shelli]

Is that a bad thing? I honestly don't know.

[Smilin]

I wouldn't consider that a bad thing, necessarily, Dingfod.

My daughter staid over last night and it was a battle to get into the shower this morning. My son with his 30 minute "hollywood shower" and then my daughter next in line for the shower left me washing my hair in the sink in cold water....

I guess I shouldn't be pissing & moaning about my kids, but, dammitt making me late for work and running all of the hot water out does put one in a pissy mood for the whole day..ya'll know?:glare:

[godfry n. glad]

Sorry, Smilin'... I never shared my domicile with children.

[lisarea]

There is some fucking WalMart bag or something stuck about 20 feet up in one of the big blue spruces in the front yard, and it's kind of windy, so it's getting blown around and making dumb crinkly WalMart bag noises.

Fuck that bag. Fuck it all to fuck.

[Dingfod]

Don't worry, it'll decay and be gone in 5-10 years.

[lisarea]

Or maybe we should just move.

[Smilin]

Is it cold, windy, AND raining there at the moment where you are Lisa?

[lisarea]

No, but there is a bag in the tree, which is worse.

And plus, if it were cold, it wouldn't be raining.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

You should have the tree removed then send the bill to Wal-Mart.

[Smilin]

No, but there is a bag in the tree, which is worse.

And plus, if it were cold, it wouldn't be raining.

33 degrees this morning and it was raining this morning on the way to work.

Currently 41 degrees, cloudy and the fuckin' rain has FINALLY STOPPED..

I'll take the bag in the tree anyday over this shit weather!:D

[Uthgar the Brazen]

41 degrees is a frelling heat wave! :glare:

[Dingfod]

Is that one of those Utah State Trees, a Colorado Blue Spruce?


You ought to be glad the Utah State Bird isn't up in the spruce tree doing it's thing.

[godfry n. glad]

Is that one of those Utah State Trees, a Colorado Blue Spruce?


You ought to be glad the Utah State Bird isn't up in the spruce tree doing it's thing.


I've never seen one in a spruce tree. It must be mighty camoflage.

[lisarea]

33 degrees this morning and it was raining this morning on the way to work.

Currently 41 degrees, cloudy and the fuckin' rain has FINALLY STOPPED..

Oh. It was 5 degrees this morning, but we are also at a balmy 41 here now.

I didn't know that counted as cold.

[Dingfod]

Is that one of those Utah State Trees, a Colorado Blue Spruce?


You ought to be glad the Utah State Bird isn't up in the spruce tree doing it's thing.


I've never seen one in a spruce tree. It must be mighty camoflage.Nor have I, but I imagine if a California Gull was in a blue spruce it would be making quite a racket.

[Smilin]

41 is a heatwave compared to the 5 degree weather I've been waking up to the past couple of mornings...

This is the piss, moan & rant thread is it not?

Fuckin' cold weather...
Fuckin' rain....
Fuckin' bags in trees...
Fuckin' Walmart!
Fuckin' Mickthinks...
:shakesmilin:
Somehow, I feel a little better now!

:D

[Nullifidian]

I just played the most frustrating chess game of my life against an opponent who WOULD NOT GIVE IT UP no matter how badly he was outmatched.

Effectively the game was in a lost position by his move 20, when he had five pawns, a bishop, knight, and rook. I eventually took his second bishop and three more pawns before I built a mating net around his king and checkmated him in move 30.

1. e4 c5 2. e5 Nc6 3. f4 d6
4. exd6 Qxd6 5. Qf3 Nd4 6. Qc3 Nf6
7. Nf3 Nd5 8. Qd3 Bf5 9. Qc4 Nxc2+
10. Kf2 Nb6 11. Qe2 Nxa1 12. Qe5 Bxb1
13. Qxd6 exd6 14. Bb5+ Kd8 15. d3 Bxa2
16. Re1 Nc2 17. Re2 a6 18. Bc4 Nb4
19. Ng5 Nxc4 20. Nxf7+ Kd7 21. Nxh8 Nxd3+
22. Kf3 Nxc1 23. Rc2 Nd3 24. Rc3 Ncxb2
25. Ke3 Re8+ 26. Kd2 Nxf4 27. Rc2 Nc4+
28. Kd1 Bb3 29. Kc1 Nd3+ 30. Kd1 Re1#
Ten moves of watching him do nothing but push his pieces around trying to salvage something, anything, from the mess he made for himself was not a satisfying game of chess. He tried a couple of ludicrous attempts at forking my knights in move 23, and 24, and even then tried to get around to capture something in move 27. I felt like Count Rugen asking, bewildered, "Good heavens, are you still trying to win?!"

Finally, by move 29, I had him right where I wanted. Either way he went, it would have been checkmate. If he had moved Kb1, then I would have responded with Re1+, then he would have no choice but to play Rc1, upon which I could respond with Rxc1#. Moving his king to square d1 was the only time-saving thing he did in the whole game.

And then my own bloody sense of good sportsmanship which made me send a message saying "Thanks for the game" with my checkmate move, instead of what I was really thinking, which was something along the lines of You've played over nine hundred and fifty games here and you STILL can't find the "Resign" link?!

Even though I won that game, my opponent deserves several :shakewpawn: :shakewpawn: :shakewpawn:

[Smilin]

Goddammed Knight Forkin' Bastages!

:shakegummibear:

[Ensign Steve]

I can't believe they didn't give you MLK as a holiday. Buncha racists.

He'd just have wasted it on WoW. I did!

I spent all day on the couch watching surgery on Discover Health Channel.

:popcorn:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I can't believe they didn't give you MLK as a holiday. Buncha racists.

He'd just have wasted it on WoW. I did!

I spent all day on the couch watching surgery on Discover Health Channel.

:popcorn:

OMG! NEEEEERD!

:gamebutt:

[Ensign Steve]

You're being ironical, I hope.

[Shelli]

There is some fucking WalMart bag or something stuck about 20 feet up in one of the big blue spruces in the front yard, and it's kind of windy, so it's getting blown around and making dumb crinkly WalMart bag noises.

Fuck that bag. Fuck it all to fuck.omg.. I hate that. HATE. I have a woodsy back yard in the city and I'm constantly running into plastic bags getting twisted up in my trees. Kinda takes away from the woodsiness of it, yes? :brooding:

[Shelli]

Toward the end of the work day today, I was made aware of an email on my old bosses computer that she neglected to delete. It just came out in conversation and I really don't blame my new boss at all even if she did step over the line in showing me it because in the end, I'd rather know even if it does suck wads of donkey balls.

My ex-boss, someone I admired, respected, got along with for the most part and thought that she felt the same toward me, definitely did NOT feel the same toward me. Right now I'm hurt and my stomach is a big knot, but I know that the next emotion to follow is going to be anger so I'm going to work out even though I feel like moping. It'll probably help bring the anger sooner and get it over with.

I feel so duped and used. :=(

Fucking bitch. I'd like to call her and tell her that what I know of because I know her well enough to know that she'll feel like a total shit bag for awhile knowing that I read what I read, but I won't. In part because it turns out that she couldn't stand quite a few people where I work (which makes only 19 not counting the office manager's position which she had) that would come as a surprise to many, so to take this personal is really not the logical thing to do.

So, it looks like I eat this one whole. Yum. Not.

Bitch.

ETA: I'm not angry yet though. Not yet. :sad:

[Crumb]

Don't worry, it'll decay and be gone in 5-10 billion years.
:fixed:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

You're being ironical, I hope.

I'll be 38 this year, still play a variety of video games, have video-game and movie related t-shirts which still get worn on a regular basis, have action figures set up throughout my office (including a World of Warcraft orc shaman figure) and collect comic books.

Ergo, there is no irony in my prior post, and you are, in fact, a total nerd.

:giggle:

[Shelli]

Still not angry. I think I mighta sweated it out before it began. :biceps: That, and it's all just more stupid furless monkey bullshit. Bleh. :shakemonkey:

[Shelli]

I'm still not mad. What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I a victim of a body snatcher? :shiftier:

Well, since I don't have it in me to :leak: or :rant:, I'll just stick to moaning because it is rather depressing. :sigh:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Don't stir up angry. Fewer people get hurt when it's a stirred-up kind of angry instead of a natural explosion, and what's the point of being really angry if you can't take out half a city block with the power of your miffed mind?

:hug:

[lisarea]

Maybe you actually don't care enough to get mad about what some asshole said about you.

It kind of sounds like she's an angry and sort of pathetic person who didn't get along with a lot of people. So maybe you're just going to feel a little sad and betrayed for a while, but not get mad.

I hope you do that, anyway. It doesn't sound like her opinion is worth the time and effort of getting mad.

[Shelli]

... and what's the point of being really angry if you can't take out half a city block with the power of your miffed mind?

:hug:That's the kind of angry that results in a migraine once the anger has cleared and my dogs scared until it's over and I reassure them that I'm not :chainsaw:. I'll pass.

:hug:

[Shelli]

Maybe you actually don't care enough to get mad about what some asshole said about you.Now, I like the sound of that. :thankee:

It kind of sounds like she's an angry and sort of pathetic person who didn't get along with a lot of people. That's exactly right, actually.

So maybe you're just going to feel a little sad and betrayed for a while, but not get mad.

I hope you do that, anyway. It doesn't sound like her opinion is worth the time and effort of getting mad.I think you're right and, no, it's really not.

[Brimshack]

I live with an idiot. Me. Goddam piece of shit fucking moron bastard! Get a life you fucknut.

...and buy a brain while you're at it.

Idiot!

[JamesBannon]

... and what's the point of being really angry if you can't take out half a city block with the power of your miffed mind?

:hug:That's the kind of angry that results in a migraine once the anger has cleared and my dogs scared until it's over and I reassure them that I'm not :chainsaw:. I'll pass.

:hug:

Just lead me to her Shelli :whup:. How could anyone not like you? Does not compute :hug:

[Caligulette]

Just lead me to her Shelli :whup:. How could anyone not like you? Does not compute :hug:
:yup: It's true, what he said.

[JamesBannon]

Sheesh! Now I'm told I must report for a medical so that they can determine whether or not I "deserve" my benefit! Damn government! Why the hell can't they just ask my GP and the therapy team? Oh no, that's too simple for them, must be seen in person by a government GP. And what's he going to do? Ask me the same damned questions as my GP and everyone else and to which I've given honest answers!

[Shelli]

ja, government bullshit can be a PITA, that's for sure. :hug:

[Shelli]

Thanks for your support, guys and gals. :glomps:

Honestly though, I fully expect some people not to like me. Everyone doesn't like every personality. :shrug: What bothers me is the two-faced deception. I got played by someone that I respected and admired. I guess I really never knew her at all and at this point, I don't want to.

I'd rather be me and hurt any day than be her and have to live with being an angry, deceptive, hurtful person.

[biochemgirl]

I hate that everything the Army touches is 100 times more complicated than it needs to be.

And I hate coming back to work and seeing the mountain of work I have to do. I can deal with that but I would rather not deal with bitchy psycho coworker who seems to take all her aggression out on me and makes shit up or exaggerates the stupidest things to run and tell management. Don't take your insecurity out on me!

[biochemgirl]

Thanks for your support, guys and gals. :glomps:

Honestly though, I fully expect some people not to like me. Everyone doesn't like every personality. :shrug: What bothers me is the two-faced deception. I got played by someone that I respected and admired. I guess I really never knew her at all and at this point, I don't want to.

I'd rather be me and hurt any day than be her and have to live with being an angry, deceptive, hurtful person.


Well, I like you! :cuddle:

[Sock Puppet]

Woke up at the wee hours, yet again, and couldn't get back to sleep until, oh, an hour before wake-up time. I was too tired to get up, yet too alert to sleep. I fucking hate that. :tired: And to top it off, I'm still Phlegmy Kilminster. :hayfever: Meanwhile one of my employees leaves me a message that she's out yet again today, which I should be except that I've got shit that needs to get done this goddamned week. I hate responsibility.

[Shelli]

:tissue: for :sockpuppet:

:hug: for :llama: lurver

[Petra]

Instead of pissing and moaning, can I shit and moan instead? I have a tummy bug. :glare:

And I'm tired, frustrated, stir-crazied and depressed. Even without the tummy bug. I need a break. But I ain't gettin' one. Not for a few more weeks yet. I'm dying inside over here! Dying, I tell you! :glare:

Fucken shit life. :whine:

[Sock Puppet]

When you have 5 separate questions, do you think you could review them beforehand to remind yourself what the fuck they were, rather than taking 5-10 minutes trying to figure each one out with me sitting there staring off into space? Otherwise known as, Why The Fuck Am I Even Here?

[JamesBannon]

Instead of pissing and moaning, can I shit and moan instead? I have a tummy bug. :glare:

And I'm tired, frustrated, stir-crazied and depressed. Even without the tummy bug. I need a break. But I ain't gettin' one. Not for a few more weeks yet. I'm dying inside over here! Dying, I tell you! :glare:

Fucken shit life. :whine:
:squeezle:

[SharonDee]

When you have 5 separate questions, do you think you could review them beforehand to remind yourself what the fuck they were, rather than taking 5-10 minutes trying to figure each one out with me sitting there staring off into space? Otherwise known as, Why The Fuck Am I Even Here?Five verbal questions? Eff that! They should ask them in an email. Inconsiderate bastids ...

[Smilin]

I don't even have the energy to piss and moan today.

Why the fuck do I even bother?

What's the point?

Totally fucking useless I am....

My insides are totally messed up, I'm nauseous at the moment, sick to the depths of my stomach...and I don't have the energy in me at the moment to properly rant....

Fucking life... :blah:

[godfry n. glad]

Y'know what pisses me off?

Those sickos who bring their fucking viruses to work to spread around.

Those of you who have chosen to stay home, thank you. Pamper yourself.

Man, this place must be the intake ward.

[JamesBannon]

:hug: Oh, and by the way "useless" is negative thinking. You're not "useless" at all!

[Leesifer]

Well, fucksocks! I'm the only one in the office from my team for the rest of the week, AGAIN!11!ONE. Sooooo, I have to sort things out for the project AND do my day-to-day work AND do the day-to-day work of the people who are out of the office.

Excellent planning by the team leaders and management. Fuckers!

[JamesBannon]

Never expect good planning from management my dear. A note to the management seems in order. :leeshug:

[godfry n. glad]

Yeah, after all, they barely manage, much less plan to manage.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I'm just going to make note of this (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,324966,00.html) and walk away, because I am on edge enough as it is.

[Dingfod]

The Wrong Irreverand Phred Felps and his coocooconspirators are on the March again.

[Leesifer]

I'm just going to make note of this (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,324966,00.html) and walk away, because I am on edge enough as it is.

Jesuspleasus! Somebody should shoot him.

[Sock Puppet]

Well, fucksocks!Are you sure you have time for that, given your busy schedule?

[Leesifer]

:heybabeh:

[Smilin]

I'm just going to make note of this (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,324966,00.html) and walk away, because I am on edge enough as it is.

Funny, when I was a Christian, I was taught that their God was a loving God. Glad I'm no longer a beiliever and a subscriber to all of that nonsense. I'm ashamed to have once considered myself a Christian. :blah:

Excuse me, but I'm going to be sick now.......

[Leesifer]

OK! Double fucksocks!

I totally forgot I have to reboot two servers at 10:00 p.m. real time tonight.

So I logged out of chat and got myself all ready for bed, THEN got the reminder about the reboot!

:cryhome:

[JamesBannon]

:leeshug: Hope it didn't take too long Lees.

[Leesifer]

I'll let you know after 10 o'clock.

:giggle:

[JamesBannon]

:doh:

[Garnet]

I live with an idiot. Me. Goddam piece of shit fucking moron bastard! Get a life you fucknut.

...and buy a brain while you're at it.

Idiot!

I resemble those remarks!!!! :fuming:

[Brimshack]

Unrelated Rant

Okay, so Mr/Ms Woeverthefuckyouare I really think it's sweet that you love your 5 year old cat or dog, and I perfectly well understand that you can't take it with you to your new apartment, or to move in with your new girl/guy/whatever. It really helps that you tell us she's good with kids and how perfectly housebroken little fluffy or spot is. You can talk all fucking day long, but in the long wrong he/she is going in a cage or a kennel right beside a cute-as-the-dickens puppy or a playful little kitten. And we can tell folks all day long how wonderful the animal is with kids. The fact is those kids want a kitten or a puppy. They may even think little Fluffy or Spot is a beautiful animal, but they are STILL going to take the puppy or the kitten. And come spring time, we're going to be getting new little puppies and kittens by the hundreds. So, if you'll just shut off the denial machine a few seconds you ought to be able to figure out just what is going to happen to your loving house-pet when you leave him here, because this is NOT a no-kill shelter, ...fuckwit! Now are you SURE you don't have a friend or a relative who can take him?

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Unrelated Rant

Okay, so Mr/Ms Woeverthefuckyouare I really think it's sweet that you love your 5 year old cat or dog, and I perfectly well understand that you can't take it with you to your new apartment, or to move in with your new girl/guy/whatever. It really helps that you tell us she's good with kids and how perfectly housebroken little fluffy or spot is. You can talk all fucking day long, but in the long wrong he/she is going in a cage or a kennel right beside a cute-as-the-dickens puppy or a playful little kitten. And we can tell folks all day long how wonderful the animal is with kids. The fact is those kids want a kitten or a puppy. They may even think little Fluffy or Spot is a beautiful animal, but they are STILL going to take the puppy or the kitten. And come spring time, we're going to be getting new little puppies and kittens by the hundreds. So, if you'll just shut off the denial machine a few seconds you ought to be able to figure out just what is going to happen to your loving house-pet when you leave him here, because this is NOT a no-kill shelter, ...fuckwit! Now are you SURE you don't have a friend or a relative who can take him?

I WILL! I WILL! :sadeyes:

I adopted my baby last year, and they figured she was about 5 at the time. I went in specifically looking to adopt an older kitty, because they need love, too.

[Shelli]

:=(

[Qingdai]

I prefer older cats myself, but I also made it a point in my life to only move to places that accepted my pets.
To the point of forcing my allergic to cats husband deal with the cat until she passed away last May.


My moan is that I know I have some piece of clothing I need this one time, for a wedding, and of course I can't find it. Now I have to go out and buy it. I just know I am going to find the other one as I put the new one away, dammit.

[ShottleBop]

I prefer older cats myself, but I also made it a point in my life to only move to places that accepted my pets.
To the point of forcing my allergic to cats husband deal with the cat until she passed away last May.


My moan is that I know I have some piece of clothing I need this one time, for a wedding, and of course I can't find it. Now I have to go out and buy it. I just know I am going to find the other one as I put the new one away, dammit.

Pretend that you've bought the replacement, and that you're putting it away in a safe place for the next time you need it. Actually go through the motions of putting it there.

[Qingdai]

Thanks, I just tried that, still no luck.
Although I just discovered that my seldom worn dress shoes are covered in mold. I hate this apartment.

[JamesBannon]

Will somebody please shut that alarm up that's been going off continually because of the wind? It's like a damn drill in my head.

[Histrionica]

Yo, cuntswab! You make me wish my car was equipped with a loudspeaker, or maybe an electronic twat-whacker because, BOY! did you need it today. The fast lane is what i'd call a specialty lane. It's particular speciality is --pay attention now, ya little dribble of precum on an old hobo's prick-- vehicles that want to go FAST. That's fast as in at least the speed limit. Hell, we're on the highway heading into the city at 6 in the morning, some of us like to throw caution to the wind and do 10 and sometimes 15 kilometres over the limit, crazy daredevils that we are. The fast lane is NOT --and here's where ya really wanna pay attention you bag of porn star clits-- for weaving and tottering about at 10 klicks BELOW the speed limit while you piss and moan on your everloving cellphone and put your motherchristing makeup on!

Be grateful that my husband physically --oh yes, PHYSICALLY-- held me back from doing you harm this morning, because i am. I'm bloody, stump-jumping, arm-pumping, motherfucking gleefull that my roadraging ass is not in jail this evening.

:madrant:

[Angakuk]

Now that was a quality rant. Way to go girl. You obviously ain't called Histrionica for nothing.

[livius drusus]

He he... Hobo...

[Caligulette]

Thanks, I just tried that, still no luck.
Although I just discovered that my seldom worn dress shoes are covered in mold. I hate this apartment.

I think it did not work becaue it knew you were just pretending. You need to borrow something from someone and put it in a shopping bag (from a clothing store), and seemingly crumple up a receipt before even approacing the closet. Then you have to- without saying anything obvious like, "Hm. Where shall I fit this new dress?"- shove all the other clothes to either side and hang the "new" dress in the middle. It helps if you have rubbed the "new" article with a fabric softener sheet so as to have that New Clothes Smell.


Ok, though, I have a half-hearted rant. It's half-hearted because I am trying not to cry until I get home:

As soon as we got to the hotel for this teachers' convention, my Dr. called with test results and ultra-sound readings. I have nodules on my surgery area from when I had thyroid cancer (they removed my right thyroid). These nodules are too small to biopsy (which is fine, as I really do not like being biopsied), but will require further tests and ultrasounds in six months. That's scary. But what's also scary, and what makes at least half the future tears I will be crying tomorrow night when I get home tears of anger, is that my insurance does not cover pre-existing conditions until next January. So, my wee, tiny savings account, and my dreams of our being able to move out of my in-laws' house any time soon are going away.

[Watser?]

That's pretty fucked up Cal :cheerhug:

[Shelli]

Cal.. :=( :snuggles:

:lol: @ Histrionica's rant

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:hug: Cal

:five: Histy

[Histrionica]

* Histrionica :huggle: s Caligulette.

[godfry n. glad]

Dammit....I hate fucking shit like that.

[Brimshack]

Dammit! Caligulette, you will not be sick! You will NOT!

[JamesBannon]

:snuggles: Caligulette. Hope it's OK. Boy am I glad I live in :scotland:

[Shelli]

I had something to rant about a few seconds ago.. I swear.. :scratch:

[JamesBannon]

Well, if you can't remember it, that must be a good thing.

[Shelli]

:distract:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Dear vapid cunts,

In the future, when you have to order lunch for your entire fucking staff of brain-damaged cocksuckers, you fucking phone or fax it in. And you'd better have a goddamned clue just what the fuck it is you want instead of standing there and loudly commenting on every fucking item on the goddamned menu. So help me fucking christ, there were five of you today, which is why my lunch now consists of some unsalted peanuts and water. In the grander scheme of things, that's fucking shit. But I don't give an unholy goddamned fuck about the grander scheme, which can suck my fucking cock. I hope every last one of you worthless, simple-minded cunts pukes your fucking guts out all night until you end up in the fucking hospital. And I hope you fuckers don't have any goddamned insurance and get sold into slavery to cover your fucking debts.

Love,

Uthgar, I've Been Watching Deadwood And I Want My Fucking Sandwich You Shit-Eating Cunts, the Fucking Brazen

[Veritas]

Link (http://papercutblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/fuck-off-and-die-chavs.html) to my blog because ranting once took it out of me and I need some caffeine after that. Enjoy.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I need to learn to swear in European. Even your flip-the-bird achieves far more elegance than I can hope for in my present mood.

[Veritas]

You can start by calling someone a wanksplat or a fuckhole. Those words really spew the venom over here, just now.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

They are now in the local jargon. :thankee:

[Veritas]

Or here's one I used the other day:

"Christ's fat hairy cock, you make me want to suck the fucking alcohol off my spectacles wipes just so I've got something to help me forget what a cocksucking turdbender you are. Now get the hell out of my face before I kill you, then dig you up just so I can kill you again you FUCKING MANCHESTER UNITED SUPPORTING BASTARD!!!"

I thank you.

And yes, I really did say all of that.

[Crumb]

turdbender
:foocl:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:applaud:

[Watser?]

Mafkezen

[Caligulette]

Does that mean "bad cheese"?

you make me want to suck the fucking alcohol off my spectacles wipes just so I've got something to help me forget what a cocksucking turdbender you are.
Even without the swearing, that is hi-larious.

[Veritas]

I think this thread is my spiritual home.

[Dingfod]

I can see that.

[Dingfod]

Link (http://papercutblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/fuck-off-and-die-chavs.html) to my blog ...All the better to stalk you with, my dear.

[JamesBannon]

Damn, I can't bloody sleep AGAIN! Can't get my brain to shut up and my skin is on fire! oh well, there's always later on today I suppose.

[Sock Puppet]

I'm sick of fucking viruses bouncing back and forth in my household and workplace. When I get over something, my wife gets something else. So I'm always either too fucked up to do anything, or too busy taking care of shit because my wife is too fucked up to do anything. Ditto with my coworkers. I just want one solid fucking week when everybody can do their own shit and I can get some free fucking time. Is that too much to ask? FUCK.

[Ensign Steve]

Today started out badly when I couldn't find the smilie I wanted to use in the countdown thread.

Then I couldn't find my uniform hat, and I never did find it and I had to pretend it was cold enough to walk around outside with my hood up on my winter coat, and I'm going to have to continue to pretend that after work this afternoon when it's going to be even warmer, and I have errands to run today but I don't think I'm going to bother since I don't have my hat, but I really really need to buy lettuce and pantyhose, so I pretty much have to go home and change and go out and do that shit.

Then I made coffee in the coffee maker and the filter slipped and the basket got clogged up with grounds and made a gigantic mess all over the coffee area and all I wanted was to drink some coffee but instead I got to spend the morning cleaning that mess.

Then my yogurt came open inside my purse and got yogurt all over the inside of my purse and all my things and my glasses case, and somehow all over my desk, too.

Today is a really stupid day.

[Shelli]

:ohnoes: That IS a horrible day, Ensign. :snuggles:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Tell whoever's in charge that I said you can have the rest of the day off, Ensign. And if they have a problem with that, they should wear heavily-padded clothing and come see me.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Damn, I can't bloody sleep AGAIN! Can't get my brain to shut up and my skin is on fire! oh well, there's always later on today I suppose.

My skin isn't smoking, but otherwise I can sympathise. And it's happening to so many people I know and know of, I halfway wonder if it's some sort of weird, psychic pandemic.

:manhug:

[Crumb]

I hope your day improves, ES. :jd:

[Adam]

I don't understand...are you not supposed to be outside w/o your hat while in uniform or something?

[Ensign Steve]

I don't understand...are you not supposed to be outside w/o your hat while in uniform or something?

Precisely correct.

My day improved after I posted, which is to say I didn't break or spill anything else. I left work early and ran my errand, hat be damned, and now I'm curled up on the couch in my PJ's. (At 5 pm).

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Oh my god. Colonel Carter ran off without her hat all the time!

SG:1 lied to me! :cryhome:

[Ensign Steve]

Oh man. If there was ever a good argument for not joining the military, it is that every movie and TV show will be ruined for you the rest of your life. Like how the Air Force colonel on Chuck wears gold hoop earrings. WTF is up with that? And nobody in the entire world wears the army beret correctly except for the actual soldiers and the guys in the Army recruiting commercials. Everybody else looks like a froggy beatnick.

[Adam]

Man, I could never hack the military, for the dress code alone. I'm bitter that I'm expected to wear khakis instead of jeans to work as it is (in the three or four months a year that we don't have permission to wear jeans as a bribe for handing our money to the United Fucking Way).

So, in keeping with the requirement to piss and/or moan in this thread, hey, Jackass, I know you're The Jackass, you know you're The Jackass, so don't go turning off my Jeep lights when I leave them on and then IM'ing me about how you did it. Fucker. I loathe you, do not and will not forgive you, and would not piss on you if you were on fire...don't go doing nice shit for me.

[Shelli]

Did you find your hat, Ensign? :airforce:

[Ensign Steve]

Did you find your hat, Ensign? :airforce:

Nope, and I can't imagine where it could be. I totally cleaned out my car and my apartment yesterday, and I didn't even realize the hat was missing until this morning. I think I'm just going to have to buy a new one, which is JUST GREAT considering I only have 2 weeks left to wear it.

[Shelli]

Bah. I hope it's not too pricey then. :spend:

[Ensign Steve]

Nah, it's only a few dollars. No biggie.

[Watser?]

Maybe someone stole it for a voodoo doll :voodoo:

[Ensign Steve]

:LOL:

[Shelli]

:chuckle:

[Veritas]

Link (http://papercutblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/fuck-off-and-die-chavs.html) to my blog ...All the better to stalk you with, my dear.

Yay! Another one! :cheer:

[curses]

When I say "I have all day to work on this project", that means you really ought not to wait till 6.30PM to get me the info I need to create your shopping cart thingy. I have been in front of the computer since 8AM waiting for this info. You know I only have today off. :wall:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

When I say "I have all day to work on this project", that means you really ought not to wait till 6.30PM to get me the info I need to create your shopping cart thingy. I have been in front of the computer since 8AM waiting for this info. You know I only have today off. :wall:

That seems a universal issue, transcending all boundaries. I got dumped with casework that had to be handled right away when I was trying to leave today (again). They're going to be pissed when I'm out of there by 08:30 or 09:00 Friday morning, but my hours are in, sorry gotta go.

[curses]

Let's beat them up. :whup:

(mine's on a volunteer basis, though. I'm trying to figure out a way to somehow get people to sign up for a golf tournament as well as pay for it using google checkout. Difficulty=no SQL database, so shopping cart's out. It looks like it's gonna have to be the sucky old school way of "here, fill out this form and hit submit. Thanks, now click on this button and fill out all that info again so we can process your credit card" thanks to Google.)

[JamesBannon]

I can't sleep again :(

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I can't sleep again :(

You're going to have to endure a real :hug: then. None of this :manhug: crap.

:hug:

[JamesBannon]

Thank you Uthgar and a :hug: back.

[Shelli]

OMG! Uthgar! I :heart: your new av! :nova:

[Shelli]

Back on track with the thread now...

I am decidedly NOT in a good mood today. I'm scaring me. :doggytremble:

I think I'll just stay away from me today. :tiptoe:

[Shelli]

For no apparent reason today, I wanted to verbally rip the face off of an unsuspecting passerby. Any passerby would have done. Luckily, this did not happen due to the invisible choke collar I put on myself today and also the fact that I got so busy that I didn't have time to consider anything but the tasks at hand. Yes, tasks. I was multi-multi tasking non-stop for the second day in a row at work. :shakework:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Stupid double post! :shakepenguin:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

OMG! Uthgar! I :heart: your new av! :nova:

Liv fixeded it for me. :livius:

They decided to test the fire alarm at work this morning. One of the sirens is literally right outside my office.

They decided that 20 minutes non-stop was good.

Urge to kill...rising...

[Veritas]

No one is praising my CV. :shakeglare:

[Shelli]

Uthgar :rarrow: :undance:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I tried that.

Did not work. :fuming:

[Shelli]

:snuggles:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

It's about 11.5 hours done, now, so I recovered. The new bodies in the maintenance shed helped, to give credit where it's due.

[Shelli]

How so?

[godfry n. glad]

OMG! Uthgar! I :heart: your new av! :nova:

Liv fixeded it for me. :livius:

Yeah...54 is a real Georgia peach that way.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

How so?

Wait for it...
:unstare:

[Sock Puppet]

The new bodies in the maintenance shed helped, to give credit where it's due.Dude, I've told you before. Hide them someplace less obvious.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

The new bodies in the maintenance shed helped, to give credit where it's due.Dude, I've told you before. Hide them someplace less obvious.

But then it's harder for me to show them to others as a warning. :duh:

[Shelli]

:igetit:

[Shelli]

Impatient people suck donkey balls! :rant:

:shiftier:

[Sock Puppet]

We do not! :glare:

Speaking of which, HURRY UP AND GET IN THE FUCKING ELEVATOR! Why do you need to amble in at Living Dead speed when you can plainly see four people waiting for you to engage the hamster wheel in your brain and send the message to your legs to walk 4 fucking feet INTO the goddamned elevator car?

No, I only had three cups of coffee today. What's that got to do with anything?

[Adam]

On a related note, why don't all you fuckers do your lungs a favor and stop taking the elevator down ONE ASSSTABBING LEVEL for your goddamm smoke break??? Stairs! We has them!

[Uthgar the Brazen]

My voicemail greeting, etc, are all in English. With a fairly thick redneck accent to boot.

Do you seriously think that a 5+ minute message in badly mumbled Spanish is going to receive a fate other than a good deleting?

[Sock Puppet]

No entiendo. ¿Por qué hablaría su lengua? Estoy demasiado ocupado por que mi pepino es doble parqueado y mi aerodeslizador es lleno de anguilas. ¿Cuándo mi dinero está viniendo?

[Leesifer]

Say that again, Sock. :heybabeh:

[Shelli]

We do not! :glare:No, you're right; I do NOT suck donkey balls. I'm pretty sure I never have either. :girlthink:

[Sock Puppet]

Say that again, Sock. :heybabeh:No! I don't talk in sexy, nonsensical Spanish to anybody who's bored with my pokeage. :hmph:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

You keep your fuckin' eel problem to yourself, next time!

[godfry n. glad]

Aw, fuck...

I've picked up some virus. I've a sore throat and I can feel the fluids building in my sinuses.

On the fucking weekend, no less.

:shaketissuebox:

[Shelli]

I've had it with all you sick people spreading your sickdom my way. :shakevirus: Now, knock it off! :shakeglare: If I take any more vitamin C, I'm going to drown in it. :drldrown:

[lisarea]

OK, so that was like the third proselytizer this week. I think they were all Jehovah's Witnesses, too. (We also get Mormons and random Baptists around here.)

I've never really liked that thing where people actively antagonize them or anything, but I am seriously on the verge of giving someone a lecture on manners.

[Smilin]

Answer the door naked. Seriously, for real, that's what I started doing, the word got out and they got the message that I didn't need anything they were offering. LOL, The look on there face is priceless and that got the message across to the Mormons.

Fuck wads!

[Veritas]

As a religious proselytiser myself, I take great offence at your post. :glare:

[godfry n. glad]

Bushwa...you're scrambling for the address and headed his direction with pamphlet in hand.

[lisarea]

Answer the door naked. Seriously, for real, that's what I started doing, the word got out and they got the message that I didn't need anything they were offering. LOL, The look on there face is priceless and that got the message across to the Mormons.

Yeah, see, that is pretty high up on the 'Things I Would Never Ever Do' list.

I just want to be left alone and not interrupted by busybody strangers trying to stick their noses all up in my business.

[Smilin]

As a religious proselytiser myself, I take great offence at your post. :glare:

You could just show me your bewbs yah know!:D:yup:

NOW that would work for me...a nice looking lady looking to "convert me" by showing up at my door, then flashing her bewbs for me, BEFORE going into her speel, on wanting to tell me about the "love Jeebus Christ" has for me.

If you want to convert me,,,show me your bewbs dammitt...

Oh...and here's a :glare: back atcha..and my favorite smilie... :gene:

[Veritas]

Jesus loves you but I think you're a cunt. :glare:

[Adam]

:shakebewb:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:shakebewb:

Uh, Adam, even I know that's not a cunt...
:psst: