Job Angst

[lady cop]

don't know if this topic has been done, but has anyone here had severe job angst? the kind that makes you rethink EVERYTHING? and how did you handle it or come to decisions that are potentially life-altering? in a nutshell, here is my dilemma, any and all advice or opinions appreciated. as some of you know, i had a heart attack right before christmas :beating: and emergency :ambulance: :firstaid: :doctor2: surgery. it was a huge shock mentally as well as physically since just the night before i was kicking butt and taking prisoners :shackled: we are are deemed high-stress and covered by workers' comp. ok...i see doctor yesterday, he says NO WORK, go to cardiac rehab. :nurse2: OK. i am getting calls and emails from my buddies telling me i should NEVER come back if possible...because they CARE about me. i LOVE being a cop! :policecar: :jail: but it might kill me. i could take a bullet :assault: , but don't want to die in an ER in ignominy. and i have plans. i love someone :hearts: and want to be with him. on another continent. so do i turn my back on what i went through hell to get? :ladycop: i am going to sit back and absorb everyone's wisdom and point of view. and THANKS. (p.s. i am middle aged, no kid.)

[LadyShea]

I say accept that the part of your life as a cop is done, be proud of the work you did, take your pension and workmen's comp and go be with your love.

[Goliath]

I couldn't agree more with Shea. The best career on the planet isn't worth years and years and years of numbness and heartbreak (take it from me, Mr. Terminally Single).

[CARLA]

:ladycop: LADYCOP,

Sweetie you know where I come down on this one.. :whup: The writing is on the wall. Your days as a KICKASS LADYCOP are over. :sirens: :cuffs: Your health, and happiness are more important.

I had to make the same gut wrenching decision when I broke my neck. I gave up a job that I had scratch my way to the top to get. I spent 22 years of my life at this job. :scratch: Then I was disabled, and out of work for 10 years. :(

You just have to put you mind into your new life, and move forward. You will be sucessful at what ever you do, so hang up the gun, cuffs, and the badge. You have a whole new life ahead of you.. :hearts: :lovey: :kiss3: ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.. :D

[Ex-zombie]

Lady cop I agree with what everyone else has said. While you seem to be fine with taking a bullet in the line of duty I see no reason for you to have your health destroyed by the stress of your job. I"m sure you have served with honor. It's time to move on. Go and be with the person you care for. Best of luck no matter what you decide. :cool:

[Ronin]

Given your own personal circumstances, lady cop, I would have to side with your fellow officers, and everyone here...and rec you take the medical out and live happily ever after.

You know, I can handle it from here...

:samurai:

Omnia mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis

[viscousmemories]

I wish I were full of advice, but as it is I'm full of something else entirely...

Good luck, ladycop. :)

[Brimshack]

I have nothing substantive to add to this LC, except that you can count me as one more person who would rather see you live as an ex-cop than mourn you as a martre to your own career. Yu might ask yourself if there is anything about being a cop that you could enjoy without actually being a cop, and without experiencing that stress so much. Are there related fields that you could pursue without taking on that pressure?

And if you have a genuine love in your life, then don't waste that. Go be with your love.

[Dingfod]

I don't have a job half as stressful as being a cop but I'd take a medical disability in a heartbeat (pun intended). Life is short, don't waste another minute. Go, be with the one you love.

[livius drusus]

Ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto and ditto. Time for the next phase of your life, lady cop. :yup2:

[seebs]

Is there any compromise? Desk job, or something?

[TomJoe]

(I) don't want to die in an ER in ignominy. and i have plans. i love someone. and want to be with him. on another continent.

Sounds like you answered your own question, no?

so do i turn my back on what i went through hell to get?

How is this turning your back on what you've done? Retiring due to health reasons is not turning your back on what you've already accomplished. Retiring doesn't diminish what you've done, what you've achieved and what you've meant to the people you've interacted with throughout your career. You simply cannot think like that! You opened doors for yourself, and others no doubt, and retiring doesn't diminish that.

Ultimately, the decision is yours, but really... when you make that decision, don't think that choosing your health over your career diminishes what you've done during your career. :)

And since I thanked Ronin, I should thank you too... for your service and dedication to your community as an officer of the law. :)

[lady cop]

Is there any compromise? Desk job, or something?
no, not without becoming a civilian...and i like the action. the consensus here is clear, and makes a lot of sense. i guess a big part of my identity is wrapped up in my work, so if i have to give it up it will be wrenching.then again i have been through many changes in life and it may well be time for the ultimate change...i suppose when your job is complicit in trying to kill you it's time to reconsider. i am the 5th deputy in 2 years on my dept. to have coronary episodes. all previously healthy. one factor is we work 12 hour shifts, and rarely get our days off, the overtime is crushing. i really am grateful for those who have responded here, and take it to :beating:

[godfry n. glad]

If you've a sweetie, I say be with your sweetie....

Limit your frisking to him, he'll probably love it.

That's a no brainer.

godfry

[seebs]

I think it sounds to me like you've probably earned some rest. Of course, there's always the risk that you'll get your heart set on it, and they'll decide you're fit for duty in another two months. :P

[Petra]

Holy shit. I thought you had an injury of some sort, not a heart attack! :eek:

I agree with everyone else. Go be with the one you love, and find other actiony-type things to do. Paintball, or skydiving, or something.

Hope you get well soon, and stay well for a very long time.

[reprise]

I'm going to go against the grain here (how surprising) and ask whether it's possible for you to be re-assigned to a teaching position. You clearly love what you do and your career has become part of who you are. There is so much wisdom you could pass on to *the new recruits* which they can never learn from books. Teaching might not be your thing, but if you still have the passion (and the emoticons in your post suggest that you do), there might be a middle ground between the immediate day to day danger and abandoning what you love altogether. One of the problems we have here is experienced cops retiring before they can pass on to the newbies what they've learned and what has kept them alive SINCE they graduated.

BTW, ex-cops are highly sought after for consultant work in private enterprise in many parts of the world. This might be a trend which you can exploit to your advantage.

Good luck, and stay well.

PS: What counts as "middle aged" these days?

[CARLA]

LADYCOP,

REPRISE post brings up a good point. You would be a wonderful teacher. Would be training recuits to be the best of the best. :policecar: :ladycop: :police: Might be something to consider. :chin:

I'm going to go against the grain here (how surprising) and ask whether it's possible for you to be re-assigned to a teaching position. You clearly love what you do and your career has become part of who you are. There is so much wisdom you could pass on to *the new recruits* which they can never learn from books. Teaching might not be your thing, but if you still have the passion (and the emoticons in your post suggest that you do), there might be a middle ground between the immediate day to day danger and abandoning what you love altogether. One of the problems we have here is experienced cops retiring before they can pass on to the newbies what they've learned and what has kept them alive SINCE they graduated.

BTW, ex-cops are highly sought after for consultant work in private enterprise in many parts of the world. This might be a trend which you can exploit to your advantage.

[lady cop]

two things, among many, leap out at me...what Reprise said about private industry using former cops as security consultants, (i have done loss prevention for retail and enjoyed it, i.e. busting shoplifters and weeding out dirty employees). as to teaching, i am an FTO , field training officer, but that is on the job with newbies just out of academy. they're attached to your hip, usually in abject terror, or the converse, overdosed on testosterone and scaring the hell out of me! the other option could be teaching at academy.our acedemy is administered by a civilian college, but we staff the classes. i am exploring also options in England, i may not be able to be a cop there due to citizenship situation, but there are peripheral positions. Reprise i am going to give some thought to YOUR career angst as well! and Luna...thanks for good wishes! :wave:

[Godless Dave]

I'm sure there are lots of career options related to LE that would be better for your health. You've put in more years directly serving the community than most people, so you have nothing to feel guilty about (I said the same thing to a friend of mine who burned out as a domestic violence victims' advocate after 10 years).

<rant>And speaking as a taxpayer, it's obvious to me that regularly working 12 hour shifts more than three days a week is bad for employee health in any job, especially one that is so physically demanding. With all the resulting workers comp claims, disability pay, and attrition it would probably be cost effective (not to mention easier on the officers) to hire more officers and have them work shorter shifts or fewer days. </rant>

[lady cop]

<rant>And speaking as a taxpayer, it's obvious to me that regularly working 12 hour shifts more than three days a week is bad for employee health in any job, especially one that is so physically demanding. With all the resulting workers comp claims, disability pay, and attrition it would probably be cost effective (not to mention easier on the officers) to hire more officers and have them work shorter shifts or fewer days. </rant>
Dave you are so right! and an exhausted officer is NOT as alert as should be or working safely. i am hoping our new sheriff will see that...he seems to be a great guy and willing to listen. i think if we went back to 8 hours like the "old" days i could cope. the problem with new hires, we're lowering our standards :( and many of us are very concerned as to the new ones we are getting, mainly can we count on them to back us up??

[Shaguar]

Perhaps a position at the academy, Gun cleaning or defensive driving perhaps :innocent:

[livius drusus]

I dunno... Gun cleaning is pretty risky business, I hear. :giggle:

[lady cop]

Perhaps a position at the academy, Gun cleaning or defensive driving perhaps :innocent:
smartass. :spank: ..it wasn't ME who almost took out the instructor.

[reprise]

it's obvious to me that regularly working 12 hour shifts more than three days a week is bad for employee health in any job, especially one that is so physically demanding.

And yet it is utterly standard in any of the emergency services. Hell, it's utterly standard for ER doctors, too. And the justification remains that "back in the day". Well, "back in the day", perhaps more mistakes were made as a result of sleep deprivation than should ever occur in this modern world. I don't know what it's like in the US, but our ambos (the people who you would most want to be alert in a medical emergency) don't even have the three hour shifts which are common to emergency personnel. They work 14/10 shifts. Day shift you work 14 hours, night shift you work 10 and then you cop a swing shift on changeover. Like any of us want the people who are responsible for saving our lives in an emergency being sleep-deprived (the OHS studies which have been done into the effects of sleep deprivation pretty much all say that after 12 hours, you might as well be drunk).

I know that "union" is a dirty word in the US, but in my not so humble opinion it is utterly ridiculous that we require by law that airline pilots and truck drivers have a legally enforced rest period between shifts and we do not grant those working in the field of emergency services the same kind of respite.

[Clutch Munny]

Not to sound morbid, but I sometimes use the "deathbed retrospective" heuristic. When I'm about to die (sometime in the next century...), will I look back and think, "I wish I'd spent more time doing X"?

So substitute "police work" for X. Then substitute "my sweetheart" for X. :D See which one you like better.

It's one way of framing the matter, anyhow. Good health, LC.