View Full Version : Scarlatti, Dammit

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 03:47 PM
I want me a new poker game. I uploaded all those cards and they've barely gotten any use. Any chance of you having the time to get another round of poker going? :beg:

If not, which one of you reprobates would be willing to run the game? cep has the skills and ran the first game, but he's been so busy lately he's barely had time to countdown.

D. Scarlatti
02-27-2008, 03:49 PM
You have no chance, make your time.

(I'd like to, but I can't commit to it.)

I nominate that big nicotine-infested cock.

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 03:50 PM
You broke my heart, Fredo. You broke my heart.

02-27-2008, 04:29 PM
You broke my heart, Fredo. You broke my heart.


I'll deal the cards and run the show, I don't mind.

you have to think of that heart starting out broken and coming back together

02-27-2008, 04:30 PM
What kind of poker?

D. Scarlatti
02-27-2008, 04:31 PM
In the rear. Liquor in the front.

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 04:48 PM
You broke my heart, Fredo. You broke my heart.


I'll deal the cards and run the show, I don't mind.
Yay! My heart is totally resealed and stronger than ever. Thank you, slim. :glomp:

slim :rarrow: :afterheart: :larrow: mon coeur

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 04:54 PM
What kind of poker?

Dealer's call. slim, what's your game?

02-27-2008, 04:57 PM

02-27-2008, 08:54 PM
I can has poker?

What are we playing for, exactly (cash? crazy dares? hotpockets coupons?).

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 09:00 PM
Fake monehs, like in the horse racing thread.

02-27-2008, 09:17 PM
:fflorin: :)

02-27-2008, 09:26 PM
Hee! I'd forgotten about the :fflorin:

02-27-2008, 09:27 PM

Sock Puppet
02-27-2008, 09:40 PM
I'm in for a poker game, although I always get confused about whom the bet's to. But I'm sure y'all can teach me in between laughing and hooting.

02-27-2008, 09:45 PM
Me too, Sock. And I even won one of the last games through sheer luck and people (ceptimus) telling me "NO, YOU IDIOT, IT'S NOT YOUR TURN" and stuff.

02-27-2008, 10:36 PM
How about we play regular Texas Hold'em, it's what is on TV the most these days and it's fairly simple.

This is how it goes:

Everyone will start with 50 chips. The blinds will start at 2 and 4 and go up (double) every 10 hands.

If you are not familiar with Texas Hold'em I'll do an example run here.

Table with 6 players.

Player 1
Player 2
Player 3
Player 4
Player 5
Player 6

I will PM each player their 2 'hole' cards, these are your cards that no one else can see.

Player 1 'posts' the small blind and Player 2 posts the big blind. The blinds are forced bets that make sure there is some action every hand. They rotate around the table with each hand, so everyone must take their turn and post the blinds at some point.

The first player to make a decision here is Player 3 (since players 1 and 2 have already made 'blind' bets, i.e. the blinds). Player 3 can
fold (not play the hand)
call (match the biggest bet so far, which is the big blind right now, this would be 4 chips at the start)
raise (match the biggest bet so far AND bet even more)

Then it's Player 4's move and he/she can either fold, call or raise as well. The play moves around the table until it comes to Player 1. Note that Player 1 has already put the small blind (2) into the pot, so he/she can fold (give up their 2 chips), call (put another 2 chips into the pot to match the 4 of the big blind) or raise. Lastly Player 2 can either fold, check* or raise. NOTE: If you are the big blind and no one has made a raise DO NOT FOLD! Since you have already paid in 4 chips it costs you nothing to stay in the hand.

*terminology nit pick - if there is no raise or bet when it's your turn (i.e. you would have to put nothing into the pot to stay in the hand) you "check". You don't have to "call" any bets, so you aren't calling.

After Player 2 has made their decision we deal more cards. The rest of the cards are 'community' cards, everyone will use them (along with their personal 2 cards) to make the best hand they can.

First comes the flop, 3 community cards all at once. Then there is another round of betting. Next comes the 'turn' one more community card, followed by another round of betting. Finally comes the 'river' the fifth and last community cards and one last round of betting. The person with the best poker hand wins the pot.

Here is the ranking of the hands from worst to best:

High card: :ac::2h::7d::8s::qc:
One pair: :10h::10d::4h::5h::6c:
Two pair: :5d::5h::4h::4d::kh:
Three of a kind: :qh::qd::qc::9c::8c:
Straight: :7d::8s::9d::10c::jackd:
Flush: :10h::9h::2h::3h::kh:
Full House: :kd::kings::kh::2d::2h:
Four of a kind: :3s::3h::3c::3d::6h:
Straight flush: :4h::5h::6h::7h::8h:
Royal Flush: :10c::jc::qc::kc::ac:

If you have any questions let me know.

Perhaps liv could start a poker sign-up thread in the right forum and we can say 10 players at most for the first game.

02-27-2008, 10:44 PM
I'm in!

I'm just sayin'. I can't wait for the sign up thread.

02-27-2008, 10:45 PM

You could start the thread and this is the right forum. :)

02-27-2008, 10:47 PM
Who me? OK!

02-27-2008, 10:48 PM
Oh, I meant Slim.

02-27-2008, 10:50 PM
Too late! I've done it now. :sheepish:

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 10:50 PM
Looks great, slim. I'm glad to do the sign up thread if you want, but traditionally the dealer does that too.

ETA: Oops, Lees beats us all to the punch. :shakeskunk:

02-27-2008, 10:51 PM
Damnations! I got carried away.

liv - you can delete my thread and let slim start the sign up sheet.

Sorry, slim!

02-27-2008, 10:53 PM
Looks great, slim. I'm glad to do the sign up thread if you want, but traditionally the dealer does that too.

ETA: Oops, Lees beats us all to the punch. :shakeskunk:

Too late! The skunk has taken things into her own paws.

And that's just the sign-up thread :rolls:

I'll start the actual poker thread :duh:


02-27-2008, 10:55 PM

Sorreh! I got all excited about it.

02-27-2008, 11:03 PM

Sorreh! I got all excited about it.

Don't be sorry :leeshug:

I'm not much of a thread starter anyway :blushes:

livius drusus
02-27-2008, 11:05 PM
I think it's cute, Lees. :aww:

02-27-2008, 11:06 PM

I'm trying to link to another poker game on here using the [thread=] but can't seem to do it.

I thought it might help others who'd like to play but have no idea what it entails.