The ten greatest inventions of all time

[ChuckF]

But only ONE can be the best.

Vote for the winner!

[Qingdai]

D'uh, wheel.

[Arrogant-One]

Okay, in the absence of a poll, I vote for television! :)

[ChuckF]

Wait for the damn poll!
:madrant:

[Ensign Steve]

FTL, obviously. Without it, there would be no Federation. :starfleet:

[Arrogant-One]

Okay, now the poll shows up, after I've already voted for television!

[Qingdai]

Man, general seems a bit easy to rile.

[ChuckF]

FTL, obviously. Without it, there would be no Federation. :starfleet:
Of course. But for the sake of argument, what if Zefram Cochrane lost his keys and had a hide-a-key underneath one of the nacelles and used that one but forgot to mention it to anybody so they could write it down?

[Qingdai]

Lava lamp, how else do you keep hippies distracted for hours so you can get shit done?

[Kevlar]

lava lamp! Pretty colors...

[Qingdai]

...then I pick his wallet!

[fragment]

Hell, I don't even know what some of those are...

[ChuckF]

Hell, I don't even know what some of those are...
PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU'RE FOREIGN!

No, but seriously, sheep won the NZ national contest, followed closely by The One Ring. Both were eliminated in the regional quarterfinals.

[fragment]

Just you wait until next year when our top scientists (yes, both of them) finish their work on hybridising the two...

[lisarea]

I want to vote for spray margarine!

So Lee Iacocca.

Buttery Spray Olivio Premium Products (http://www.olivioproducts.com/product_overview_buttery_spray.html)

[mickthinks]

Don't be silly. They're not intelligent designs, they're all products of natural selection, except Iacocca.

I vote for postmodernism.

[ChuckF]

vote for a damn poll option or stfu

[mickthinks]

vote for a damn poll option or stfu

Why, Chuck baby, I do believe you are turning into some kind of narcissist!

Mick
I still think it's postmodernism, but if it isn't, then it's Ken Livingstone (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7376813.stm).

[Legs]

I don't see control top pantyhose on that list :snooty:

[Sock Puppet]

You vote with the poll options you have, not the poll options you want. [/rumsfeld]

Besides, nothing tops the lava lamp anyway.

[Farren]

There are poll options we know we have, poll options we know we don't have and poll options we don't know we don't know we have.

[Legs]

Besides, nothing tops the lava lamp anyway.

A lava lamp won't get me into a size 4 skirt.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Go, Fusion, go! Beat those damned hippies! :cheer:

[Pinecone]

great invention -> :pokedeadguy:

more useless than even you -> :lavalamp:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:sadeyes:

[Watser?]

Breadsticks ftw!

[Adam]

Just you wait until next year when our top scientists (yes, both of them) finish their work on hybridising the two...

A sheep you can...erm...wear on your finger? Sorry, fragment, hillbillies here in Indiana "invented" that years ago.

[Dingfod]

Compared to a crockpot, the rest of the poll choices are a crock.

[BrotherMan]

I'm boycotting this thread until the following is an option:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/spork.jpg

[ChuckF]

With a boost from Europe, the stick is making a surprisingly strong showing! But can it catch the lava lamp?! Don't go anywhere folks, this race ain't over!

vote for a damn poll option or stfu

Why, Chuck baby, I do believe you are turning into some kind of narcissist!

Mick

Oh, honey, we've been through this before. But since I know you can't keep two thoughts in your precious little head, I'll repeat it: I do not care what you believe. Now vote in the fucking poll or shut the fuck up.

I'm boycotting this thread until the following is an option:
<spork>
Yeah there was a big row about the spork at the Sweet Sixteen. These things are all politics anyway!

[Pinecone]

:sadeyes:

Not YOU you Uth!! You're just the greatest (except maybe for sticks) and that's why it's all about you! You just happened to cross post me. It was the in general all of yous you whom would let lava lamps win over sticks. Which might include you (you all know who you are :glare:)...but doesn't in fact specify you. :squeezle:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:melt:

I cannot be bothered to stoop to such debates. I have spoken that the Greatest Thing Ever is the Fusion. I am no pissant deity who must have the world grovel and agree with me.*

(*Unless the world doesn't want its dinner! :glare: )

[Crumb]

Oh please. A spork is just a fancy stick. Just vote for the stick already.

[InTheServiceOfZeke]

what about 11:11, fatso?

:shake1111:

[Adam]

11:11 is just four sticks and a broken stick.

[Sock Puppet]

A stick is just a lava lamp without the cool gushy stuff inside.

[Farren]

So's a spork. Just a funny shaped lava lamp that doesn't work.

[Deadlokd]

I object. No one invented onions or sticks. Unless someone wants to bring ID into this :shakeglare:. And let's face it, an onion is just a succulent stick. Mmmmmm, taste that oniony goodness.

Unless the onion in the poll is The Onion, in which case I question why Jon Stewart didn't make it in too. And where is instant coffee? And coffee shops and cafes? And Tiramisu.

I think that this poll was rigged and The Oceanic Confederation withdraws from this farce. Now, fragment, tell us about these ring-sheep you have over there. My preciousssss.

[godfry n. glad]

11:11 is just four sticks and a broken stick.


Not four sticks and two pebbles?

[ChuckF]

I object. No one invented onions or sticks.
HELLO? Giorgio Onionitini and Pierre Baptiste du Stick (Or Yuri Stikonov, if you listen to the Russians)? Take a history class, dumbass!

[Uthgar the Brazen]

11:11 is just four sticks and a broken stick.


Not four sticks and two pebbles?

2 for 4 sticks, and only pebbles at that? That is just sad.

[Deadlokd]

I object. No one invented onions or sticks.
HELLO? Giorgio Onionitini and Pierre Baptiste du Stick (Or Yuri Stikonov, if you listen to the Russians)? Take a history class, dumbass!

I did some research and it was actually Giorgio's brother Luigi Mario who invented the onion. In a fit of jealous rage Giorgio, who had only invented the Leek, but pissed the profits away, killed him and took his invention for his own.

[Farren]

You learn so much on these boards.

[mickthinks]

Mick: Why, Chuck baby, I do believe you are turning into some kind of narcissist!
Chuck: I do not care what you believe. Now vote in the fucking poll or shut the fuck up.

* Chuck is attending his first Narc Anon meeting:

"Hi! I'm Chuck and I'm a narcissist."
"Aw, just shut the fuck up - no one here could give a toss about you and your problems"

:rofl:
Mick

[ChuckF]

I'm glad I don't have any Italian brothers because I have all these great ideas.

[ChuckF]

Mick: Why, Chuck baby, I do believe you are turning into some kind of narcissist!
Chuck: I do not care what you believe. Now vote in the fucking poll or shut the fuck up.
This remains great advice that bears repeating.

What are you doing posting in new threads rather than bumping very old ones that no one gives a shit about? Did the doc change your OCD prescription or something? Whatever it is, do it less.

[mickthinks]

This remains great advice that bears repeating.
LOL! Everything you say is great and bears repeating over and over again, Chuckie. that's why we love you, 'cause you're so spontaneously predictable.

shut the fuck up Ha ha ha - great, I love it!!11!

[ChuckF]

shut the fuck up Ha ha ha - great, I love it!!11!
I know you do, mickie. I know you do. :shykiss:

[Farren]

Can anyone tell me what the difference is between a spork and a foon?

[Naruto]

Make sure you record all the stuff he's saying in your special text document, mick.

[ChuckF]

Can anyone tell me what the difference is between a spork and a foon?
IIRC, a foon is a derogatory spoon for homosexuals. It is a portmanteau of faggot and spoon, and is widely considered a hate utensil. Foons are illegal in the EU. See also: nork.

[mickthinks]

shut the fuck up Ha ha ha - great, I love it!!11!
I know you do, mickie. I know you do. :shykiss:

Narcissism ftw! Would it were half as endearing as you think it is, Chuckyduck.

[Ensign Steve]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.

[ChuckF]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.
http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9514/13702bq5.jpg

[Deadlokd]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.

I'm flabbergasted that you said that! The Dean of Star Trek Nerddom placing Faster than Light travel below "other stars"! How do you think Kirk got to those stars?!

[biochemgirl]

Crockpot! Because it's all like awesome and stuff.

[Stormlight]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.

I'm flabbergasted that you said that! The Dean of Star Trek Nerddom placing Faster than Light travel below "other stars"! How do you think Kirk got to those stars?!

By being awesome. :kirk:

[JamesBannon]

sticks FTW

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.

Well, it all started with sticks, didn't it? Stanley Kubrick would never lie to us.

[Artemis Entreri]

I vote sticks, provided they are pointy.

[Adam]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.

Well, I, at least, voted for FTL.

...but only because we'll eventually run out of sticks, and we need to be scouring the galaxies for a new source.

[Joshua Adams]

Well, it all started with sticks, didn't it? Stanley Kubrick would never lie to us.Actually, that was a bone. But according to science, those evolved from sticks anyway, so...

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Well, it all started with sticks, didn't it? Stanley Kubrick would never lie to us.Actually, that was a bone. But according to science, those evolved from sticks anyway, so...

Organic sticks on and around which our gooshy bits clump and swirl, respectively. As usual, I am correct.

You may all worship me now.

...

I'm waiting! :glare:

[Watser?]

:twiddle:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:shakemonkey:

[JamesBannon]

Sorry, Uthgar, don't do worship.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:mutter:

[Ensign Steve]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.

I'm flabbergasted that you said that! The Dean of Star Trek Nerddom placing Faster than Light travel below "other stars"! How do you think Kirk got to those stars?!

I think you missed my point.

[Gooch's dad]

What the hell kind of poll is this? It doesn't include pizza *or* beer.

So I voted for FTL travel, since it means the delivery guy can bring you the pizza even before you pick up the phone.

[Crumb]

Sticks! :dizzy:

[curses]

Onions. Sticks make people mad, onions make them cry.


Vidalia onions are the bestest, though.

[Ymir's blood]

Sticks make people mad:poke2: :larrow: doesn't look mad to me. Smilies don't lie.

[curses]

Sticks make people mad:poke2: :larrow: doesn't look mad to me. Smilies don't lie.
Well he's not crying either :P

[LadyShea]

Why am I the only one who voted for Sateen? Come on, the easy care of cotton AND the satiny finish?

[Artemis Entreri]

Sateen worshiper :caramba:

[Ymir's blood]

Sticks make people mad:poke2: :larrow: doesn't look mad to me. Smilies don't lie.
Well he's not crying either :PHe's crying on the inside.

[Deadlokd]

I think you missed my point.

That isn't unusual for me. :chin: I think it's a genetic failing.

[Qingdai]

I guess the only loser is the gillete mach 3, must be those damn ads. Millions of scientists dropping their cancer and HIV research to make, da dum! A slightly better razor. Can anything be more perfect in this perfect world?

Go lava lamp!

[ChuckF]

I forgot to put a closing date on this poll, but I think it's been long enough. Huzzah for sticks! Now it is time to mock those who voted for the losing options, and hope that agitators don't come in and upset the new order.

:taunt:

[Farren]

I'd like to point out that sticks got a plurality of the vote but not a majority.

Also, everyone who voted for sticks is a sheep.

[Stormlight]

:shakepug:

[curses]

Poor Gillette Mach 3. No love at all.

[ChuckF]

I threw the Mach 3 some love. It was pretty revolutionary in its time, and it broke the 3-blade ceiling, laying the foundation for giants such as the Fusion.

And the Schick Quattro can go fuck itself. It's no better than four really tiny, really sharp sticks! Not fit to shave onions with it.

[JamesBannon]

:yay: for sticks!

[ChuckF]

We can draw a few scientific conclusions from the poll results!
:science:

-It takes six Lee Iacoccas to travel faster than the speed of light; if each Lee Iacocca is given a stick, the Iacoccollective will defeat the Borg.

-A crock pot full of onions wrapped in sateen will make two bowls of lava lamp wax.

-Sticks make excellent gifts.

[Sock Puppet]

Seriously, you guys?

I mean, other stars. The possibility of intelligent life.

Your priorities are so far out of whack.
http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9514/13702bq5.jpgMy God, it's full of onion rings!

[Qingdai]

I should have listened to the three year old in the family, sticks rule!

Now to be mocked eternally.

[curses]

-Sticks make excellent gifts.They do indeed. I can see the marketing departments gearing up now.

"Tell her how much you love her with a Woody."

[Ymir's blood]

http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/ts2/images/chrs_woody.jpg

[Dingfod]

Sticks are vastly underrated, especially the role that sharpened sticks played in human history.

[Skydin]

Sex toys should have been an option.

[ChuckF]

Sex toys should have been an option.

Between sticks and lava lamps, I think they were pretty well covered.

[Skydin]

Burns may have their uses, but splinters do not.