Signs that won't make you want to go to church

[Qingdai]

I laughed, I cried. I searched the forum poorly then decided this would be my obligatory "please ensign Steve" thread.

» Church Signs That Won’t Make You Go To Church (http://www.holytaco.com/2008/08/04/church-signs-that-wont-make-you-go-to-church/)


That damn kneemail sign is Christian viral marketing, I swear I've seen it three times in town already.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Stray apostrophes.. brain-hurt...

Good times.

ETA: Scroll down to the comments; people are a'fightin. Here's a good one:

It is not a bad thing to say Jews killed Jesus. In fact they did. We should be happy. When the Jews killed Christ (did not accept Him as King) it opened the doors for the Gospel to the Gentiles. I am thankful for that. One day every tongue will confess He is God and one day every knee will bow. Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose him now. I think that the signs and the commentary on this site just go to show how bad we as humans really are. I for one give thanks for God showing me and others (if they are honest with themselves) how much we need a Savior. We need to stop comparing ourselves to one another and use the plumb line of God’s perfectness to access our sinfulness as humans. He has given us a gift of self awareness to know that none are perfect. Sin=death. Thanks be to God that he sent his Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross to pay the death price for our sins if we with REPENTANT hearts would accept His gift of life. It is in your hearts to know the truth. Please stop suppressing what you know in your heart to be the truth. The fool has said in their heart no God. Remember… He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

[biochemgirl]

:giggle: You know I actually saw one this weekend that was "Forbidden fruits make many jams". Then I thought of how tasty jam is and then it made me want some toast.

[Shelli]

mmm.. jam...
:homdrool:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Mr C forgot to capitalise the "h" consistently, thus reducing his supposed one true god to the level of all those other phony gods.

When he's condemned to hell, this is going to come up. :unnod:

[Caligulette]

Eesh. I drive by a slew o' churches every day, and one in particular irks me on a weekly basis.

"America does not need change- she needs conversion". She? Yeah, I know, but still.

"Drill here. Drill now. Drill into God's Word." What? Does god live in hell? Not to mention, saying "drill" so many times makes me feel a little naughty, if you catch my drift. I've also seen this on a tee-shirt. Is there a Baptist Pro-Offshore Drilling Consortium I should know about?

I will soon not be driving past this church so much, and don't know what I'll do for early morning lulz. (Pardon the word, those of you who hate it.)

[vremya]

:lol:

[Sock Puppet]

Is there a Baptist Pro-Offshore Drilling Consortium I should know about?You mean besides Fox News?

[Dingfod]

"Seven days without God makes one weak." *barf*

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Christmas: easier to spell than Hannukah

Wowsers.

[Dingfod]

"Church" *shudder*

[Uthgar the Brazen]

"Church" *shudder*

That's the word that pretty much sends me the other direction every time, too.

[Crumb]

Passed one in Scappoose this weekend that said: "evolution schmevolution / read your bible" :sadno:

[Legs]

This was in Toronto last year (complaints made them take it down)

http://multimedia.thestar.com/images/89/96/73f0d7ab4d488ea8c5aed55c2da0.jpeg

Story (http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/295250)

[Sock Puppet]

Maybe it doesn't in THEIR religion. Poor bastards.

[Dingfod]

Lying in church, shouting 'Oh, God', doesn't constitute going to bed either.

[Stormlight]

Lying in church, shouting 'Oh, God', doesn't constitute going to bed either.

:rofl:

[Leesifer]

This was in Toronto last year (complaints made them take it down)

http://multimedia.thestar.com/images/89/96/73f0d7ab4d488ea8c5aed55c2da0.jpeg

Story (http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/295250)

What? Not even if you're on your own in bed? :shakefist:

[Ensign Steve]

Technically, I think it does, if everybody in the bed is Christian.

[jess]

only if there are three or more, right?

[Caligulette]

Today:
A tire gauge will not solve your problems, God will.


What? God as gas station attendant?

[Dingfod]

Church not impressed with Olympic champion Phelps. (http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/blog-jam-church-not-so-into-phelps-oly-glory-19415)

[Legs]

:laugh:

[Ensign Steve]

I think I'm ready to convert to Catholicism.

http://img.ircimages.com/ircimages/5/9/59192cabe89cbe25f91c8cf8bfb77b82.jpg

[godfry n. glad]

:roflmao:

I am so tempted to send that to my former commie atheist college girlfriend, who is now the registrar for a Presbyterian seminary and a MDiv.

[Plant Woman]

:foocl:

[Smilin]

This was in Toronto last year (complaints made them take it down)

http://multimedia.thestar.com/images/89/96/73f0d7ab4d488ea8c5aed55c2da0.jpeg

Story (http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/295250)



I LOVED that one......

Can't decide between the jam one and the lying in bed making her scream ohhhhhhh God.......

[Qingdai]

There was a Romanian church that had a sign for a while that said, "Fear the Lord."

Again, not something that screams good marketing sense or sense.

[Watser?]

Maybe they just meant Ceauşescu?

Or Dracula? :dracula:

[Ensign Steve]

I saw a sign on a church yesterday when I was driving around with my mom and friend. It read, "We don't believe in the same god you don't believe in."

We were stopped at a red light, so we had tons of time to ponder it. It sounded like this.

"What?"
"Huh?"
"What does that even mean?"
"Seriously, does that mean anything?"
"I have no idea what the point of that is."

[Crumb]

:chuckle:

[godfry n. glad]

I saw a sign on a church yesterday when I was driving around with my mom and friend. It read, "We don't believe in the same god you don't believe in."

We were stopped at a red light, so we had tons of time to ponder it. It sounded like this.

"What?"
"Huh?"
"What does that even mean?"
"Seriously, does that mean anything?"
"I have no idea what the point of that is."


Really?

They don't believe in the god I don't believe in! I don't believe in any god.
(That's why I'm godfry. And glad about it, too.)

So...This was an ATHEIST church?

It sounds to me as if the Unitarians are running amok.

Who says there's nothing new under the son?

[Angakuk]

I saw a sign on a church yesterday when I was driving around with my mom and friend. It read, "We don't believe in the same god you don't believe in."

We were stopped at a red light, so we had tons of time to ponder it. It sounded like this.

"What?"
"Huh?"
"What does that even mean?"
"Seriously, does that mean anything?"
"I have no idea what the point of that is."

Translation: You don't believe in the god that you think I believe in. That's OK, I don't believe in the god you think I believe in either. So, we both don't believe in that particular god.

[godfry n. glad]

The only difference between us, Ang, is that I don't believe in one more god than you don't.

[Angakuk]

I am pretty sure that is not the only difference between us.