The Emergency Shelli System Thread

[livius drusus]

The admins of your area in voluntary cooperation with federal, state and local authorities have developed this thread to keep you informed in the event of an emergency.

Warning: Shelli is in a particularly tiggery mood today. Members are advised to keep their hands inside the car at all times. The Bounce Level has been increased to orange. Repeat, we are at Bounce Level Orange.

:bmini: :sitbounce::crack: :tiggermonkey: :crack: :sitbounce: :bmini:

[Watser?]

:giggle:

[JoeP]

What about continental, national and provincial authorities? What about residents' associations? Are they on full alert?

I am concerned that my area is not as safe as countries containing admins.

[beyelzu]

Quick break out the duct tape, and not just cuz it is time for light bondage.

[beyelzu]

What about continental, national and provincial authorities? What about residents' associations? Are they on full alert?

I am concerned that my area is not as safe as countries containing admins.

Nor should it be, american hegemony does have some perks.

[livius drusus]

What about continental, national and provincial authorities? What about residents' associations? Are they on full alert?

I am concerned that my area is not as safe as countries containing admins.
Interpol has been notified and is monitoring the situation. Men in bowler hats are walking around at a brisk pace to ensure your safety. This is a recorded message.

[Ensign Steve]

Nobody is actually safe anywhere. The alert system is merely a smokescreen to distract the public from their real problems. Like our crippling lugnut shortage. And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders.

[JoeP]

The men have been mugged, the bowler hats stolen, and the relevant authorities are mired in corruption.

But it's OK - this just in: there are no tiggers in Africa.

[JoeP]

Nobody is actually safe anywhere. The alert system is merely a smokescreen to distract the public from their real problems. Like our crippling lugnut shortage. And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders.

And the falling ratio of smilies requested to smilies actually delivered. Why isn't this issue in the newspapers?

[livius drusus]

And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders.
:caught:

[beyelzu]

Nobody is actually safe anywhere. The alert system is merely a smokescreen to distract the public from their real problems. Like our crippling lugnut shortage. And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders.

Elderly femcomputers cannot be trusted to run a society.


It leads to a distinct lack of dunking.

[livius drusus]

That's femputer, violator. Death by snu snu!

[Ensign Steve]

But what about the fundamentals?

[beyelzu]

* beyelzu laughs harder.

[beyelzu]

That's femputer, violator. Death by snu snu!

At least I will die happy.

[Legs]

:brooding:

[Dingfod]

:plonk:

[Shelli]

:unbounce: :sugarhi: :bgirl: :larrybounce: :bbed: :celebrate: :trampol: :catapult: :sitbounce: :tiggermonkey: :tigger2: :unbounce:

[Shelli]

The admins of your area in voluntary cooperation with federal, state and local authorities have developed this thread to keep you informed in the event of an emergency.

Warning: Shelli is in a particularly tiggery mood today. Members are advised to keep their hands inside the car at all times. The Bounce Level has been increased to orange. Repeat, we are at Bounce Level Orange.

:bmini: :sitbounce::crack: :tiggermonkey: :crack: :sitbounce: :bmini:What does it take to get to Bounce Level Red? :girlthink:

[Shelli]

... and :rofl: at this thread. :livglomp:

[Plant Woman]

But it's OK - this just in: there are no tiggers in Africa.

Sorry but they just introduced them and they are overtaking the natives. RUN!

:giggles:

[Shelli]

:tiggermonkey:
:tigger2: :tigger2:
:tigger2: :tiggermonkey: :tigger2:
:tigger2: :tigger2: :tigger2: :tigger2:
:tigger2: :tigger2: :shakejoep: :tigger2: :tigger2:
:tigger2: :tigger2: :tigger2: :tigger2:
:tigger2: :tiggermonkey: :tigger2:
:tigger2: :tigger2:
:tiggermonkey:

[viscousmemories]

Cute avatar today, Shelli. If that's the result of elevated tiggerness then I'm all for it.

[Plant Woman]

Cute avatar today, Shelli. If that's the result of elevated tiggerness then I'm all for it.

Did they call you in to negotiate?

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I made a tent building in my living room and have been hiding in the "basement" all day with my cat. Is it safe to come out now?

[livius drusus]

We are considering lowering the Bounce Level back to yellow, but we suggest you continue to live in your basement tentfort at least until the end of Thread Necromancy Day. Perhaps even shore it up with some couch cushions.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Okey dokey!
:salute:

[Plant Woman]

:afraid:

[Crumb]

What does it take to get to Bounce Level Red? :girlthink:
Don't even try. PLEASE. :rughide:

[Ensign Steve]

:bounced:

[Shelli]

Cute avatar today, Shelli. If that's the result of elevated tiggerness then I'm all for it.:thankee: :glomp:

I think you're all in the clear for the moment. I'm putting this :tigger: to bed. :yawn:

* Shelli bounces in her dreams too, but that won't affect y'all. :nope:


:lol: @ this thread

:ff: :bai:

[BracesForImpact]

/grovel

I for one welcome our new bouncy overlords, and look forward to a long and bountiful golden age.

/grovel

[Qingdai]

I am concerned about bounce level Purple, that isn't a possibility, is it?

[Plant Woman]

:clap: for purple!

[JoeP]

What does it take to get to Bounce Level Red? :girlthink:

I don't want to know! :scaredbaby:

[JoeP]

* Shelli bounces in her dreams too, but that won't affect y'all. :nope:


:eyebrow:

[Shelli]

Oooo.. Bounce Level Purple.. :hellyes:


* Shelli bounces in her dreams too, but that won't affect y'all. :nope:


:eyebrow::chuckle: Not that kind of bouncing except for now and then. :innocent2:

[BrotherMan]

The wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers is wonderful...

Something just brushed my leg.

SOMETHING BRUSHED MY LEG!

[livius drusus]

:rofl:

[Crumb]

:foocl:

[JoeP]

The wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers is wonderful...

Something just brushed my leg.

SOMETHING BRUSHED MY LEG!

:yikes: What bounce level is that? :runaway:

[livius drusus]

BOUNCE LEVEL BLACK!11

[BrotherMan]

Why's everything gotta be black with you?
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2269/2484535865_7cd3dc8ea7.jpg

[Shelli]

The wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers is wonderful...

Something just brushed my leg.

SOMETHING BRUSHED MY LEG!:whatthe:

[BrotherMan]

It was a tigger.
:psst:
:shiftier:

[Shelli]

:giggle:

[Qingdai]

AHHH! Giggle level PURPLE!!

:alarm::alarm::alarm::alarm::alarm::alarm:

[biochemgirl]

:rughide: Is it safe to go to work today? Hell, maybe I should check and make sure the highways are even open first.

[BrotherMan]

According to the Shelli Emergency Alert website, you should be safe traveling to and from work so long as you abide by the following guidelines.


Don't drive a shiny car.
Don't play tigger alerting music (ie, any music).
Keep your windows up and your doors locked.
Don't make eye contact with any tiggers.
Don't drive by any known tigger habitats.
Keep your hunny in an air tight jar, out of site.
Keep an effigy of Rabbit on the hood or grill of your car.
Drive an Oldsmobile.
Keep your left blinker on at all times.
Wear drab colored clothing.
????
Do not, and this cannot be stressed enough, hum.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I've already failed on the first two counts. WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!

[Watser?]

I would advise you to panic.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Oh god, I've forgotten my towel, too!

:panic:

[JamesBannon]

Never go anyway without your towel, Uthgar (and peanuts) :hug:

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I'm doooooooooooooooooooomed!

[BrotherMan]

I'm so very sorry, Uthgar. The only thing left for you to do is to slather yourself in hunny and wait for the bouncing tiggery end.

Oh, and post pix plz.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:sadbye:

[BrotherMan]

:tiggermonkey:
:tigger2: :shakeuthgar: :tigger2:
:tiggermonkey:



Oh, the Uthganity!
:news:

[livius drusus]

Before we all die in a bouncing ball of fire, here are some balloon code tips (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=244115#post244115).

[Uthgar the Brazen]

Apparently, this will be my fate. :sigh:

YouTube - The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers (English)

[BrotherMan]

It could be worse, Uthgar.

http://members.cox.net/futurama/Show/s03ep05.jpg

:unnod:

[Shelli]

I'm so very sorry, Uthgar. The only thing left for you to do is to slather yourself in hunny and wait for the bouncing tiggery end.

Oh, and post pix plz.:lol: :giggles: :laughcry:


This whole thread is teh awesome. :glomps:

:tiggermonkey:

[Garnet]

It's bounce level Orange! No, Red! No, Black!

Oh God, I don't know!!!!

Freethought Forum - View Single Post - Weirdliness (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=594237&postcount=21)

* Garnet scurries about in a panic

[Shelli]

:lol: Oops..

What can I say? The weirdness of this site I found tonight took over me. :stwitch: :giggle: :chuckle: :spew:

[Qingdai]

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

:meteor:
:onfire: :powerup: :onfire:
:meteor: :onfire: :alarm: :onfire: :meteor:
:onfire: :powerup: :onfire:
:meteor:

[Shelli]

:gooduse:

[BracesForImpact]

:yeahthat:

[JoeP]

It's bounce level Orange! No, Red! No, Black!

Oh God, I don't know!!!!

Freethought Forum - View Single Post - Weirdliness (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=594237&postcount=21)

* Garnet scurries about in a panic

Definitely Bounce Level Orange and rising!

The Safety and Health Executive for Loudness Levels Increasing (S.H.E.L.L.I.) issued the following warning at 0311 GMT:
I left at 8:30 or so this morning and just got home a few minutes ago. It was a nice day and I had a great dinner. :=)

Happy Caturday! :billcat:

Lock your computers down.

Stand by for further warnings.

FF desktops! - Page 23 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594248#post594248)
Weirdliness - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594337#post594337)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594590#post594590)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594599#post594599)
Weirdliness - Page 2 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594604#post594604)
lol: tigers. For cuteness, for Shelli, and for Frodo! - Page 4 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594605#post594605)
lol: tigers. For cuteness, for Shelli, and for Frodo! - Page 4 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594625#post594625)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594632#post594632)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594634#post594634)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594640#post594640)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594645#post594645)
lol: tigers. For cuteness, for Shelli, and for Frodo! - Page 4 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594647#post594647)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594650#post594650)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594651#post594651)
Weirdliness - Page 2 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594652#post594652)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594654#post594654)
Bring on ur lolcats, I dares ya - Page 114 - Freethought Forum (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=594655#post594655)

[Shelli]

:shakejoep:

:rofl:

:squeezle:

[Watser?]

:alarm:Caution: Heavy Bouncing going on in the Countdown Thread!

Approach Tiggermonkey specimen with extreme caution!

[Uthgar the Brazen]

I just got past tense of :spin: in the Monday thread!

[Shelli]

. . . . . Tiggermonkey
. . . . . . . . . .:V:
Uthgar :rarrow: :cancan3: :larrow: Watser?

[Watser?]

Bounciness level Orange, repeat Orange

Do not leave your shelters!!

[Shelli]

:bbed:

[Shelli]

Caution: Bounce Level Orange! :tigger2:

also... :lol: @ this thread :giggle:

[Watser?]

:wheelchairpanic:

[Garnet]

* Garnet shrieks and runs out, arms flailing wildly

[Shelli]

:catchyou:

[Qingdai]

Start hording Twizzlers people!

[Shelli]

:nonstop:

[Qingdai]

We have a Saturday special:

CODE ESPRESSO

Ingest large quantities of coffee, people, and head for the hills!

[BrotherMan]

:shaketigger:

[Watser?]

Ohnoes :ohnoes:

We have no hills!! :panic:

[Qingdai]

Head for the dikes!

Heh.

[BrotherMan]

:frysees:

[Doctor X]

You want me to put a finger in the dike?

--J.D.

[Shelli]

I was losing steam, so I had myself a nap and then went out for dinner, so now I'm all powered up again. :powerup:

:muahaha:

[Megatron]

You want me to put a finger in the dike?

--J.D.

Be warned that if you do, you may not get it back.

[Shelli]

:biting:

[Doctor X]

You want me to put a finger in the dike?

Be warned that if you do, you may not get it back.

I will leave a deposit instead.

--J.D.

[JoeP]

Is there a bounce level "blue swirls"?

:hide:

[Shelli]

That would be: "Bliss level blue swirls" :cloud9:

:cheerful:

[JoeP]

So, are you less bouncy when blissful? I'm not sure I believe that.

[Shelli]

* Shelli bouncy :rarrow: :bgirl:

* Shelli blissful :rarrow: :pleased:

[Watser?]

:alarm: :alarm: :alarm: :alarm:

Bounce Level Orange

:tiggermonkey: bored, drinking energy drink and eating chocolate!

Repeat: Bored!! drinking energy drink!!! and eating chocolate!

Prepare for MASSIVE BOUNCING!!!

:alarm: :alarm: :alarm: :alarm:

[Shelli]

:rofl:


:bgirl: :sugarhi: :larrybounce: :hyperb: :celebrate: :tiggermonkey: :sitbounce: :trampol: :catapult: :unbounce:

[Crumb]

:hide:

[Shelli]

.:tiggermonkey:
:snoopy:

[Crumb]

:gooduse:

[Watser?]

:alarm: :alarm: :alarm: :alarm:

Bounce Level Red

:tiggermonkey: has been drinking 5 hour energy drink!

Repeat: 5!!!! hour!!!!!! energy drink!!!!!!!

Head for shelters!!!

:alarm: :alarm: :alarm: :alarm:

[Shelli]

:muahaha:


:twotone:

stay tuned...

[Sock Puppet]

God help us all.

[Stormlight]

:ohnoes:

:freakout:

[Shelli]

God help us all.:tigger: will be of no help to you mere mortals! :laughat:

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

:rughide:

[Shelli]

:nightmare:



:sniggle:

[Crumb]

:loseit:

[Shelli]

I'm starting to lose the effect of the shot, plus I just had lunch, so I'm re-upping with an extra-bold coffee. :espresso:

[Watser?]

Noooooooo!!! :ohno:

[Shelli]

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!
:loud:

[Doctor X]

:yawn:

--J.D.

[Shelli]

:strangelove:
:shakedocx:

[Doctor X]

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/safetocomeoutff.gif (http://www.millan.net)

--J.D.

[Shelli]

:smugnod:

[Ymir's blood]

She's got competition.

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/129157248772116741.jpg

[Shelli]

:lol:

[Shelli]

I'm working on a pound of chocolate covered coffee beans that I bought at lunch today. Just sayin' :stwitch:

:hyper:

[Watser?]

I'll be in my Emergency Shelli Shelter :peek:

[Shelli]

:peekaboo:

[Watser?]

:rughide:

[Shelli]

:catchyou:

[Shelli]

False alarm. I had to spend all my extra bounce on work today. :shakework:

[vremya]

False alarm. I had to spend all my extra bounce on work today. :shakework:

What a waste of perfectly good bounce!

[Shelli]

:sadyup:

[BrotherMan]

:alarm: 20 :tiggermonkey: 20:alarm:

[curses]

The bounce is in the building!

[Shelli]

I'm just getting warmed up... :plotting: