Grieving

[mindbender]

I lost my best friend to suicide 3 months ago, and while I've come to accept it and embrace the fact that I was very fortunate to have known her and to realize that in a lot of ways I wouldn't be who I am today without her, there are still nights like tonight where I can't sleep because she's on my mind. I have even googled for traces of words she left behind online and found a discussion board where she used to be a member. I cried reading this this message she wrote to another person concerning their grief over the loss of their best friend. There's some dark irony here, I know it.

It must really hurt a lot to lose a best friend. I lost a friend when I was a little younger, but I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you.

What are some of the memories of your friend, that you've been thinking about? Were there special times that you shared together? What were some things that made this person so unique and special in your life?

Also, I am concerned that you chose to put on a happy face for the rest of everybody else today. Losing a close friend hurts tremendously, no matter which way you look at it. Was there reasons why you chose to deny this hurt to the rest of the planet? Its okay to hurt, and be sad, and even feel like the whole world is crashing down. I hope you know that you don't need to deny these feelings, and that its okay to be true to your emotions.

[Uthgar the Brazen]

:hug:

[Stormlight]

:cheerhug:

[Shelli]

:snuggles:

[freemonkey]

:huggle:

grief is long, twisty road.

[yguy]

there are still nights like tonight where I can't sleep because she's on my mind. I have even googled for traces of words she left behind onlineWould she want you doing that?its okay to be true to your emotions.Most of the time, being "true to your emotions" isn't being true to yourself.

[Crumb]

mindbender: :huggle:

[Kevlar]

Never mind yguy, he just likes to be salt on a wound.

I buried my best friend a few years ago, and I mean I literally buried him. His mom laid him in a family plot way back in the hills, and we carried his casket for a half mile, dug a hole, and threw the dirt in on him. Oddly enough, it was quite therapeutic and gave a great sense of closure.

Every now and then, when I'm back in the TN hills, I go up there to sit with Chuck. Everything is overgrown and you can tell no one goes to visit him. Which is quite sad because he had a lot of friends and was always the life of the party.

Grieving is a totally healthy thing to do, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[JoeP]

^^^ what they hugged

Dark irony noted. Also the value of what she wrote.

[godfry n. glad]

Never mind yguy, he just likes to be salt on a wound.

I buried my best friend a few years ago, and I mean I literally buried him. His mom laid him in a family plot way back in the hills, and we carried his casket for a half mile, dug a hole, and threw the dirt in on him. Oddly enough, it was quite therapeutic and gave a great sense of closure.

Every now and then, when I'm back in the TN hills, I go up there to sit with Chuck. Everything is overgrown and you can tell no one goes to visit him. Which is quite sad because he had a lot of friends and was always the life of the party.

Grieving is a totally heathy thing to do, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

RAmen!

My bestest friend in the whole world, and wife of 18 years, has her ashes fertilizing the roses in the back, as per her wish. It's been five years and there are still triggers which can cause me to tear up.

Grief is a natural response to loss. I've been told that refusing to acknowledge it will come back to bite you on the ass. It can even come back years later, when it cannot be readily identified as a grief response.

Kevlar speaks wisdom. (Especially about ignoring yguy.)

[biochemgirl]

I agree, I think it's just a process. :snuggles:

[seebs]

It's a rough process. One thing I've been told is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Some people are better off trying to think through what they feel, other people need to let it all out... Don't let people push you into something because they think it'll be best for you. Different people grieve differently.

A well-loved member of one of my communities died recently, rather prematurely, and people are still pretty shaken up over it.

[Dingfod]

:huggle:

grief is long, twisty road.Hilly too, with lots of ups and downs. My mother died about 5 months ago. I'm certainly not over the grief.

[mindbender]

Thanks for the support, guys. I appreciate. Every once in away, I have a night like the other night, and the hole in my heart is still a little fresh in some ways.

I know I will be alright though. That I do know. There are phases (not really stages) one goes in and out of when it comes to dealing with loss.