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JoeP
09-11-2008, 11:15 AM
A farmer had several pullets and a number of roosters.

The farmer kept records and any rooster who didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. The farmer bought a tiny set of bells to attach to the roosters, each having its own tone. This way he could tell who was performing without having to be present all the time.

His favorite rooster, Butch, was a very fine rooster. One morning, the farmer hadn't heard Butch's bell at all, so he went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To the farmer's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one. The farmer was so proud of Butch, he entered him into the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result.....

The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they awarded him the Pulletsurprise was well. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention!

biochemgirl
09-11-2008, 12:12 PM
:rofl:

Master Taran
09-11-2008, 03:28 PM
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.

One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?'

All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant.

Has anybody seen a cock?'

All the women stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant.

Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?'

Half the women stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant.

Has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

The priest fainted

Master Taran
09-11-2008, 03:35 PM
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against
the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and
says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.

ceptimus
09-12-2008, 12:52 PM
A chicken goes into a job centre and asks in perfect English if there is any work available.

The clerk is stunned, but gathers himself together and says he is sure that the circus would be happy to employ the chicken.

"The circus?", says the chicken, "Why would they need a network administrator?"

Stormlight
09-12-2008, 01:33 PM
:lol:

Stormlight
09-12-2008, 01:41 PM
"What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is where you do something rather wonderful with a single feather. Kinky, on the other hand, is where you use the whole chicken!" Willie Rushton

Dingfod
09-12-2008, 01:45 PM
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside.

How do you stop a rooster from crowing in the morning?

Have him for dinner the evening before.

JoeP
09-12-2008, 01:56 PM
Why did the pervert cross the road?

...

Dingfod
09-12-2008, 02:21 PM
... to eat a chicken?

biochemgirl
09-12-2008, 11:40 PM
...to get to the *cock*?

JoeP
09-13-2008, 08:01 AM
Oh, I thought everyone knew this one.

Uthgar the Brazen
09-13-2008, 11:44 AM
:nope:

BrotherMan
09-13-2008, 04:22 PM
Ahem. (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=433505&postcount=1)

Ensign Steve
09-13-2008, 04:44 PM
I did, but I was leaving the punchline up to you.