View Full Version : Metaphors
Stumbled upon this while feverishly clicking TVTropes links at work, trying to stave off the slow degradation of my very soul...
Winners of the "Worst Analogies Ever Writting In A High School Essay" Contest (http://www.users.fast.net/~blassey/humor/analogies.html)
Man, that made my day. Enjoy.
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Jeopardy. -- Jean Sorensen, Herndon
http://soundingcircle.com/newslog2.php/__show_article/_a000195-000336.htm
Ensign Steve
10-28-2008, 04:33 AM
Not having clicked the link, I'm assuming that's the one that talks about the body hitting the pavement like a hefty bag full of vegetable soup. Yeah, I like that one.
Deadlokd
10-28-2008, 09:50 AM
ES you never cease to amaze me with your knowledge of the hidden places of the internet.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two humming birds who had also never met.
—Russell Beland, Springfield
This guy needs a clue. :lol:
erimir
10-28-2008, 10:36 AM
Some of these are good metaphors if you ask me!
I mean, if you're going for humorous. Clearly "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't" doesn't have any place in a serious argument, but it's not necessarily bad writing, if it's being used in the proper context...
mickthinks
10-28-2008, 11:25 AM
If it's an intentionally funny bad metaphor, that doesn't make it a good metaphor. LOL You have your own special line in pedantry, erimir
Watser?
10-28-2008, 01:14 PM
Yeah, I've seen this before. I think some of them were done like that on purpose. Still, this one is a classic:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. —Unknown
Ensign Steve
10-28-2008, 01:55 PM
Some of these are good metaphors if you ask me!
I mean, if you're going for humorous. Clearly "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't" doesn't have any place in a serious argument, but it's not necessarily bad writing, if it's being used in the proper context...
It's good, but it's stolen from HHGTTG.
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
BrotherMan
10-28-2008, 01:56 PM
I didn't see my favorite unmetaphor: "And the, like, Iraq and such as..."
Dingfod
10-28-2008, 05:16 PM
That was funny as a crutch rubber.
GodPossessed
10-28-2008, 05:25 PM
Why would someone rub a crutch?
Tanda
10-28-2008, 05:56 PM
Because it was as smooth and soft as tree bark wasn't.
Duh.
Still, this one is a classic:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. —Unknown
Yeah, that was one of my favorites as well.:D
Farren
10-29-2008, 01:21 PM
Still, this one is a classic:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. —Unknown
Yeah, that was one of my favorites as well.:D
That's actually brilliant :D like a great scientist, not a halogen light
I've got a feeling a some of these have a lot of real thought behind them.
Dingfod
10-29-2008, 01:25 PM
Still, this one is a classic:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. —Unknown
Yeah, that was one of my favorites as well.:DYour favorite is like the thing you liked the best.
ShottleBop
10-29-2008, 01:26 PM
Still, this one is a classic:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. —Unknown
Yeah, that was one of my favorites as well.:D
That's actually brilliant :D I've got a feeling a some of these have a lot of real thought behind them.
. . . as much thought as a dog puts into the decision to lick his balls?
Farren
10-29-2008, 01:29 PM
Still, this one is a classic:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. —Unknown
Yeah, that was one of my favorites as well.:D
That's actually brilliant :D I've got a feeling a some of these have a lot of real thought behind them.
. . . as much thought as a dog puts into the decision to lick his balls?
No. As much thought as George Bush puts into figuring out which way his underwear goes on.
Those are definitely all intentionally bad/funny (http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/metaphor.asp). Which is cool, cause a lot of them are hilarious* sort of amusing in my opinion.
* - Preemptively redacted so as to avoid a dissertation on how humor works aimed at mick, who appears to be active in this thread.
wei yau
10-30-2008, 04:24 PM
I agree that these are intentional. And that Russell is the winnah!
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. —Russell Beland, Springfield
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
—Russell Beland, Springfield
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man. "
—Russell Beland, Springfield
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