We need a "silly songs" thread

[Barefoot Bree]

Just for shits and giggles, and to help both my post count and liv's thread count:

What silly songs do you remember from childhood? I bet I can match you one for one! (Probably not, but it will be fun trying...)

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones, little teeny scrawny ones, oh how they wiggle and they squirm!
Bite their heads off, suck their guts out, throw their skins away!
Nobody knows how I can live on worms three times a day!

[livius drusus]

C'era una volta una gatta
Che aveva una macchia nero sul viso e una vecchia
Soffita vicina al mare con una finestra
Che ora non vedo piu.

:wriggle:

[Barefoot Bree]

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
I sing nothing all day long
I sing absolutely nothing
How do you like my nothing song?

[Ensign Steve]

This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
and now they keep on singing it, they keep going just because
this is the song that never ends...

[Ensign Steve]

Fried ham, fried ham,
cheese and balonga
after the macaroni we'll have
onions and pickles and pretzels
and then we'll have some more
friend ham, fried ham, fried ham

[Ensign Steve]

You shouldn't have gotten me started. I was in girl scouts.

Repeat after me!
Repeat after me!
Why not in chew.
Why not in chew.
Boe-dote skideetin dottin why not in chew.
Boe-dote skideetin dottin why not in chew.
Eet-skittly oat dote boe-dote skideetin dottin why not in chew.
Eet-skittly oat dote boe-dote skideetin dottin why not in chew.
Oaten doten big and boaten, itten ditten little kitten, eet-skittly oat dote boe-dote skideetin dottin why not in chew.
Oaten doten big and boaten, itten ditten little kitten, eet-skittly oat dote boe-dote skideetin dottin why not in chew!

YAY!

[lisarea]

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones, little teeny scrawny ones, oh how they wiggle and they squirm!
Bite their heads off, suck their guts out, throw their skins away!
Nobody knows how I can live on worms three times a day!

Dja ever see the Kids in the Hall skit, with those two sad guys singing that on a bus? That was, like, the best thing on TV ever, if you don't watch the very last part, which was too gross.

Um, lessee:

I was recently surprised to discover that I remember all the words to Miss Lucy had a steamboat (http://www.bussongs.com/songs/miss_lucy_had_a_steam_boat_short.php), which I am too lazy to type out. (They left out the "D-A-R-K, DARK! DARK! DARK!" part, and "meadow" should be "buttermilk.")

Also:

Pee, po, belly, bum drawers, pee po belly bum drawers!

...which is just that line, over and over again with slight variations in tune.

And one of my favorites, which still gets stuck in my head for days on end sometimes:

Babaluccis on the rocks
Making love the whole day long
In the warmth of summer
All winter long
The only time they take a break
Is when the tide comes in
And when the tide goes out again
They start right in again...

BAAAA-BAAA-luccis on the rocks...
[etc]

[Ensign Steve]

I was recently surprised to discover that I remember all the words to Miss Lucy had a steamboat (http://www.bussongs.com/songs/miss_lucy_had_a_steam_boat_short.php), which I am too lazy to type out. (They left out the "D-A-R-K, DARK! DARK! DARK!" part, and "meadow" should be "buttermilk.")

I learned it with "meadow" but I do agree with the D-A-R-K part. Anywho, have you ever heard the Wendy Testaburger version from South Park? It is SO RUDE! I'll give a million hugs to anyone who can find the lyrics or an MP3, cuz I've been googling like crazy and I can't find it.

[LadyShea]

I've got something in my pocket
that belongs across my face!
I keep it very close to me
in a most convenient place!
I'll bet you couldn't guess it
if you guessed a long long while!
So I'll take it out and put it on...
it's a great big Brownie smile!

Disclaimer: I was never a Brownie or Girl Scout. I remember this song from my dorky Girls Scout friends though.

[lisarea]

Heyso,

I just remembered another one, but I only know it phonetically. I think it's supposed to mean something like "Tall mountain," then something else about the mountain (maomao). I'm sure I'm spelling it wrong. The first part is call and response and the second part sung in unison.

Talay maomao
(Talay maomao)
Geolay maomao
(Geolay mao mao)
ASTIN GEO IN zoppen zolly olly wolly
Maomao ay maomao

[Ensign Steve]

Am I the only freak, or is "Brownie smile" kinda gross?

[livius drusus]

"Brownie smile"

:potty:

[lisarea]

Am I the only freak, or is "Brownie smile" kinda gross?

They're not mutually exclusive, you know.

(I remember that song, too, and I was in GS, but not the stupid Brownies. Brownies are dumb babies.)

[John Carter]

This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
and now they keep on singing it, they keep going just because
this is the song that never ends...

A song that really would go on forever:

Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
Aleph-null bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around,
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall!

[Ensign Steve]

There was a joke on the Dilbert animated series where a busload of Nobel prize winners were singing "infinity bottles of beer on the wall." Your math jokes are always so sexy, though!

The Tigger song is also a repeater.

[Ensign Steve]

Yay! I found it. And to think, all I had to do was search on Wendy Fingerbang. Not the results one would expect, but whatever!


Mrs. Landers was a health nut
she cooked food in a wok
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend
and he had a great big

Cock-A-doodle-doodle
the rooster just won't quit
and I don't want my breakfast
because it tastes like

Shitzus make good house pets
they're cuddly and sweet
monkeys aren't good to have
'cause they like to beat their

Meeting in the office
o meeting in the hall
the boss he wants to see you
so you can suck his

Balzac was a writer
he lived with Allen Funt
mrs.roberts didn't like him
but thats 'cause she's a

Contaminated water
can really make you sick
your bladder gets infected
and blood comes out your

Dictate what i'm saying
'cause it will bring you luck
and if you all don't like it
I dont give a flying fuck!!

[Ensign Steve]

Remember this one?

Say Say O Playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Slide down my rainbow
into my cellar door
and we'll be jolly friends
forevermore
one two three four
four three two one
and now we're done


and it's eee-ville counterpart:

Say Say O Enemy
Come out and fight with me
And bring your goblins three
Slide down my razor blade
into my dungeon door
and we'll be jolly enemies
forevermore

[John Carter]

There was a joke on the Dilbert animated series where a busload of Nobel prize winners were singing "infinity bottles of beer on the wall." Your math jokes are always so sexy, though!


Its the same joke, actually. Not all infinite sets are the same size. Aleph-null is the name given to the smallest infinity.

[Ensign Steve]

Its the same joke, actually.

Yah, that was kind of my point.

[Barefoot Bree]

Meanwhile, back at my Grandpa's house:

One day as Mr. Squirrel was climbing up to bed
A very large hickory nut fell upon his head!
Although I'm fond of nuts Mr. Squirrel then did say
I'd very much rather they didn't come that way!

[seebs]

I actually sung "infinite bottles of beer on the wall" for a good two miles of a hike once.

It is a credit to my father that he tolerated this with good humor, accepting it as the natural penalty for teaching a child under 10 about transfinite mathematics.

[Barefoot Bree]

A frog hopped out of the pond one day
And found himself in the rain
He said "I'll get wet and I might catch cold!"
So he hopped back in again!

[livius drusus]

How come no mention of on top of spagheeeeeetti, all covered with cheese? Is it too 50s or something?

Ensign, Wendy's song is simply sublime.

[copiae]

Something that I vaguely remember from an Italian class in primary school:

Ecco la matita, si,
Questo e mio, si,
Non e tua,
e sono mia,
si, si, si,


there were several other verses, substituting matita with other things, er, gomma and riga perhaps... *shrug*


Oh, and one other:

Ging gan gooly gooly gooly gooly wat-cha, ging gan goo, ging gan goo,
Ging gan gooly gooly gooly gooly wat-cha, ging gan goo, ging gan goo,
Hay-lah, oh hay-lah shay-lah, oh hay-lah shay-lah, shay-lah, oh whoa oh oh oh,
Shallowary Shallowary Shallowary Shallowary, Oompah, oompah oompah oompah,
Shallowary Shallowary Shallowary Shallowary, Oompah, oompah oompah oompah, Ooom.
Ging gan gooly gooly... (etc)

[livius drusus]

Something that I vaguely remember from an Italian class in primary school:

Ecco la matita, si,
Questo e mio, si,
Non e tua,
e sono mia,
si, si, si,

Solo mia, perhaps? That's awesome, copiae. :bgirl:

[copiae]

Yup, that sounds more correct =)

[Barefoot Bree]

One little fishy in the net, here fishy, fishy!
Two little fishies in the net, here fishy, fishy!
Three little fishies in the net, here fishy, fishy!
Four little fishies - oh, lucky fishy got away!
Here, fishy, fishy, fishy,
There, fishy, fishy, fishy,
Where, fishy, fishy, fishy,
Fish, fish, fish!

[Barefoot Bree]

How come no mention of on top of spagheeeeeetti, all covered with cheese? Is it too 50s or something?

Since you asked.....

On top of spaghetti,
all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table
and onto the floor
and then my poor meatball
rolled out of the door.

It rolled cross the garden
and under a bush
by then my poor meatball
was nothing but mush.

It stayed there all summer
and into the fall
and over the winter
did not move at all.

And then the next summer
grew into a tree
all covered with meatballs
and thin spaghetti.

If you eat spaghetti
all covered with cheese
hold on to your meatballs
and don't ever sneeze!

[lisarea]

I don't know if this counts, because it's not really part of the kiddie kulture (YET), but it's from this old Popeye cartoon where Brutus is kicking Popeye's ass really bad, and at one point, he picks Popeye up and cradles him like a baby and sings:


Go for to sleep, my Bay-ay-bee,
My peaches and cream,
My sweet little one,
Go for to sleep, my bay-HAY-BEEEE
Or I will close your eyes
LIKE THIS! [punches his face]


I used to use this on the Little Muffin when he was a little muffin (except I only fake punch), and I use it on other people's kids, too, because if you make me babysit your kids, you can just take what you get.

I also teach them the chicken butt game and the circle game. Ha ha!

[Blake]

This one definitely doesn't count according to the class of songs posted so far, but lisarea has led the way, it's a very silly song, and I heard as a child; not so young, but certainly not adult. It originated on a show on ITV and hit number 1 on the UK charts in the '80s.

The Chicken Song

It's the time of year, now that spring is in the air,
When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair
Make another song for moronic holidays
That nauseate-ate-ates in a million different ways:
From the shores of Spain to the coast of Southern France,
No matter where you hide, you just can't escape this dance.

Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes,
Paint your left knee green, then extract your wisdom teeth,
Form a string quartet and pretend your name is Keith.

Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapaho,
Climb inside a dog and behead an Eskimo,
Eat a Renault 4, wear salami in your ears,
Casserole your gran, disembowel yourself with spears.

The disco is vibrating,
The sound is loud and grating,
It's truly nauseating,
Let's do the dance again.

Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose;
Yes, you'll hear this song in the holiday discos,
And there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars:
You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars.

Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapaho,
Climb inside a dog and behead an Eskimo;
Now you've heard it once, your brain will spring a leak,
And though you hate this song, you'll be humming it for weeks.

Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes,
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la,
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la, OK.

I sang it at least once for a camp talent show. It was a hit there too. :)

[Barefoot Bree]

To a low repetitious background of:
"boom-da, boom-da, boom-da, boom-da" (sung by those with low voices)

sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda, ret-set-set
sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda, ret-set-set
a-dor-ay-o, a-dor-ay-boom-day-o
a-dor-ay, boom-day, ret-set-set
ah-say-pah-say-oh…..

[livius drusus]

Thanks for the full lyric sheet of On Top of Spaghetti, BBree. I had never heard the final three stanzas. :)

[Barefoot Bree]

Thanks for the full lyric sheet of On Top of Spaghetti, BBree. I had never heard the final three stanzas. :)
:curtsey: Actually, I had to cheat and look it up on the internet to jog my memory. But we sang it differently than all the ones I found online; what I put is what we sang, not what everybody else has.

[Barefoot Bree]

If anyone is a RECENT Girl Scout or leader :happywave: , you may know that a popular song these days at the yearly singalongs is one that riffs fast food joints and their logos. To arm/hand movements signifying "golden arches", the pizza hut roof, etc:

A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut,
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut
McDonalds, McDonalds,
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut

etc. (with some variation on how many times each line is repeated)

That tune was originally used in Girl Scouts for these nonsense words:

A-ram-sam-sam a-ram-sam-sam
goolie-goolie-goolie-goolie-goolie
ram-sam-sam
a-wah-hee, a-wah-hee,
goolie-goolie-goolie-goolie-goolie
ram-sam-sam

****

All of which leads into the version my daughter (Heathen Offspring the Elder) and I came up with, instead. Sadly, we never did get a chance to do it at the Singalong, 'cause we quite scouts just after that.

My ankle hurts, my ankle hurts
my knee's banged up, and my ankle hurts
a headache, a headache
my knee's banged up, and my ankle hurts

A broken nose, a broken nose
a big black eye and a broken nose
a chipped tooth, a chipped tooth,
a big black eye and a broken nose

A broken leg, a broken leg
a bunch of cracked ribs and a broken leg
a wheelchair, a wheelchair
a bunch of cracked ribs and a broken leg

A hockey game, a hockey game
Friday night at the hockey game
we won! we won!
Friday night at the hockey game!

[AspenMama]

Ah this is such a cute thread!

Can I post off topic? Without waiting for a reply-- :P-- My favorite adult silly song right now:

If I Had A Million Dollars
by Barenaked Ladies

Lyrics:

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)

If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich

[Barefoot Bree]

Very cool, AspenMama! Reminds me of the ABBA song ---

I work all night, I work all day
to pay the bills I have to pay,
Ain't it sad?
And still there never seems to be
a single penny left for me,
That's too bad!
In my dreams, I have a plan,
If I got me a wealthy man,
I wouldn't have to work at all,
I'd fool around and have a ball......

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In a rich man's world.
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In a rich man's world.
Oh-hohhhh all the things I could do!
If I had a little money -
It's a rich man's world!


A man like that is hard to find
but I can't get him off my mind,
Ain't it sad?
And if he happens to be free
I'll bet he wouldn't fancy me,
That's too bad!
So I must leave, I'll have to go
to Las Vegas or Monaco
and win a fortune in a game
my life will never be the same!

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In a rich man's world.
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In a rich man's world.
Oh-hohhhh all the things I could do!
If I had a little money -
It's a rich man's world!

[koan]

I always thought this was the best smurfing song in the world :smurf:
You're a Pink Toothbrush, I'm a Blue Toothbrush

You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Have we met somewhere before?
You're a pink toothbrush and I think toothbrush
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet toothbrush, such a sweet toothbrush
How you thrill me through and through
Dont be hard toothbrush on a soft toothbrush
'Cause I cant help loving you.

Every time I hear you whistle...... it makes my nylon bristle.......

You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Won't you marry me in haste?
I'll be true toothbrush, just to you toothbrush
When we both use the same toothpaste.

[Barefoot Bree]

OOH! OOH! The Roller Skate Song! Who was that, Janice Joplin, I think?

I've got a brand new pair of roller skates,
You've got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together
And try them out and see.
I've been looking around a while,
You've got something for me,
Oh I've got a brand new pair of roller skates,
You've got a brand new key!

(Don't remember any of the verses, rats!)

[Seven of Nine]

OOH! OOH! The Roller Skate Song! Who was that, Janice Joplin, I think?

I've got a brand new pair of roller skates,
You've got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together
And try them out and see.
I've been looking around a while,
You've got something for me,
Oh I've got a brand new pair of roller skates,
You've got a brand new key!

(Don't remember any of the verses, rats!)

Oh I loved that one, by can't remember who sang it. Rats!

Janis Joplin sang:

"Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My Friends all have Porsches; I must make amends..."

Does anyone remember:

"Don't you ever Laugh when a hearse goes by,
or you'll be one of the next to die!"

[Barefoot Bree]

Unfortunately, with the Porsche song, we have now veered out of the realm of Silly and into Deep Meaningful Stuff.

Back to Silly!

Dammit, I had one here a minute ago, where'd it go?

The Travel Song (cause we always sang it on long car trips)

I've got sixpence, jolly jolly sixpence,
I've got sixpence, to last me all my life.
I've got tuppence to spend,
And tuppence to lend,
And tuppence to send home to my wife (poor wife!)
No cares have I to grieve me,
No pretty little girls to deceive me,
I'm happy as a lark, believe me,
As we go rolling, rolling home (rolling home)
Rolling home (rolling home) rolling home (rolling home)
By the light of the silvery mo-oo-oo-oon -
Happy is the day
As we line up for our pay
As we go rolling, rolling home! (Rolling home!)

(repeat with 4 pence, tuppence, no pence)

[livius drusus]

What about the classic farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o? B-i-n-g-o, B-i-n-g-o, B-i-n-g-o and Bingo was his name-o.

:)

[wei yau]

What about the classic farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o? B-i-n-g-o, B-i-n-g-o, B-i-n-g-o and Bingo was his name-o.

:)

We have to sing this song nearly every day on the way home. It's the only thing that keeps Becca awake.

We do have a playlist that includes BINGO, Twinkle Little Star, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Wheels on the Bus and The Name Game.

When we get tired, we ask Becca to sing a song. It's basically a listing of people in her life:

Mommy
Daddy
Bailey
etc., etc.

[Barefoot Bree]

Speaking of names, can't forget the Name Song!

Liv, liv, bo-biv
Banana-fana, fo-fiv
Me, my, mo miv
Liv!

[livius drusus]

:listenin: I'm snapping my fingers even as I type. That's no small feat, believe me.

[Barefoot Bree]

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away

[Crumb]

:coolsun:

[wei yau]

Speaking of names, can't forget the Name Song!

Liv, liv, bo-biv
Banana-fana, fo-fiv
Me, my, mo miv
Liv!

My daughter loves this song and suggests just about every name of every person and pet she knows. One of these pets is "Lucky"

Lucky, lukcy, bo-bucky
Banana-fana, fo-ucky
Me, my, mo-mucky
Lucky!

I've slipped up a couple of times on the second line, usually resulting in an angry glare from my wife.

[lisarea]

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away

How come they don't teach little kids all the words, though?


The other night, dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear
I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried

[chorus you already know]

I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day

[chorus]

You told me once, dear,
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
To love another
You have shattered all my dreams


Gene Autry's version of this is downright chilling. I swear.

Oh, and this is one of the weirdest things ever: The song was written by Jimmie Davis, who later became governor of Louisiana. So they added a couple of weird non sequitur parts at the end and made it co-state song along with the state song Louisiana already had.

I am not lying. They added, like, all this shit about how Louisiana is all excellent and cool at the end of it.

OK. Now I am finished talking about the song You Are My Sunshine.

For now.

Oh. Wait. I found the parts about Louisiana (http://www.50states.com/songs/louis2.htm):


Louisiana my Louisiana
the place where I was borne.
White fields of cotton
-- green fields clover,
the best fishing
and long tall corn;

CHORUS

Crawfish gumbo and jambalaya
the biggest shrimp and sugar cane,
the finest oysters
and sweet strawberries
from Toledo Bend to New Orleans;

CHORUS


Seriously, really. How stupid is that?

OK. Now I promise I am really done.

[Barefoot Bree]

Lisarea, I think that qualifies both as a Silly Song and Trooth is Stranger than Fiction.....

[Barefoot Bree]

Way back in the Dark Ages, when I was a Brownie myself, we sang a round that went like this:

Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose
Will I ever see thee wed?
I will marry at thy will, sir,
At thy will.

Heavens! Shades of Sexism and Master-Servant overtones! No, no, that will never do for my budding feminist Heathen Offspring! So we came up with the following words instead:

Rose, rose, rose, rose
Yellow, white, pink and red
Lovely roses in my garden
In the sun.

Ahhh, much better. And very pretty, esp. when you have about 20 little kindergarteners lisping it out more or less in unison and tune.

[Clutch Munny]

well, there's these:

One bottle of pop
Two bottle of pop
Three bottle of pop
Four bottle of pop
Five bottle of pop
Six bottle of pop
Seven seven bottle of pop

Fish and chips and vinegar, vinegar vinegar
Fish and chips and vinegar
Pepper pepper pepper salt

Don't throw your junk in my backyard, my backyard, my backyard
Don't throw your junk in my backyard
My backyard's full


Row row row your boat gently down the stream
Throw your teacher overboard, listen to her scream.

Row row row your boat underneath the stream
Ha ha fooled you, I'm a submarine.

As I was a-going
On down the road
With a tired team
And a heavy load
I cracked my whip
And the leader sprung
I said hey-hey
To the wagon tongue

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And hit 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

Went out to milk
And I didn't know how
I milked the goat
Instead of the cow
A monkey sitting
On a pile of straw
A winkin at
His mother-in-law

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And twist 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

I came to the river
And I couldn't get across
So I paid five dollars
For a big bay hoss
Well, he wouldn't go ahead
And he wouldn't stand still
So he went up and down
Like an old saw mill

Turkey in the straw
Turkey in the straw
Roll 'em up and twist 'em up
A high tuck a-haw
And hit 'em up a tune called
Turkey in the Straw

I told the witch doctor I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor you didn't love me too
And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do
He said that ....

Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang...
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang

[maddog]

:nicethread: :notes: I like it!

I know my fair share of dumb songs, too.

Oh, I am Doctor Ironbeard,
Twilli willi wit boom boom !
I'll cure your ills with healing art,
Twilli willi wit boom boom !

Now I can make the dumb to walk,
Twilli willi wit boom boom, boom boom!
The blind to see, the lame to talk,
Twilli willi wit boom boom !

Sing tori-ay, sing tori-ay, sing
Twilli willi wit boom boom, boom boom!
Sing tori-ay, sing tori-ay,
Twilli willi wit boom boom !

I've seen it in German, too, which I suspect is the original. All I can remember is the first lines: "Ich bin Herr Doktor Eisenbart, zwilli willi wik bum bum!"

This one is to the tune of "Ruben, Ruben, I've been thinking" (I never actually learned the words to the real song, but I'm given to understand it's pretty silly in its own right):
I have a dog, his name is Fido
I have raised him from a pup.
He can stand up on his hind legs,
If you hold his front legs up.

There was one I thought was hilarious when I was a kid. It's about kids mixing up words. True to the theme of the song, however, I could never get all the words which were "mixed up." Maybe y'all can fill in the missing pieces?


Little Johnny learned a song
But he got the words all wrong
If you're smart I'm sure you'll know
How the song should go
instead of,

Once a molice-pan saw a ________
Sittin' on the sturb-cone, eating perry chi

and I can't remember any more after that. It's driven me nuts for years. (But y'all already knew I was unbalanced, right?)

Then there's the whale song, as Burl Ives used to sing it:
In San Francisco town there lived a whale
She ate pork chops by the pail,
By the pillbox, by the suitcase,
By the bathtub, by the schooner.

She eats a lot, but when she smiles
You can see her teeth for miles and miles
And her adenoids, and her spare-ribs
And things, too fierce to mention.

Oh, what can you do in a case like that?
What can you do, but sit on your hat?
Or your toothbrush, or your grandmother,
Or anything else, that's helpless.

The roller skate song: "I've got a brand new pair of roller skates,
You've got a brand new key. etc." Wasn't that sung by an artist called "Melanie"?

Fun thread, y'all, thanks!

#297

[koan]

Here's one. (Has to be sung with a British accent)

Hermans Hermits - I`m Henry Viii, I Am Lyrics
(Murray/Weston)

I`m Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She`s been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn`t have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I`m her eighth old man, I`m Henry
Henry the eighth I am

Second verse same as the first

I`m Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She`s been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn`t have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I`m her eighth old man, I`m Henry
Henry the eighth I am

------ lead guitar ------

I`m Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She`s been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn`t have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I`m her eighth old man, I`m Henry
Henry the eighth I am

H-E-N-R-Y
Henry (Henry)
Henry (Henry)
Henry the eighth I am, I am
Henry the eighth I am

Yeah!


Just as silly is their need to print all verses. :loser:

[Barefoot Bree]

We always pronounced Henry "en-er-y" in that song......

****

Oh, marsey-doats and doesey-dotes
and liddelamsey-divey
a kiddely-divey-too
wooden-shoe!

(Oh, mares eat oats
and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy.
A kid will eat ivy, too
wouldn't you?)