Online/Offline personae

[Soubrette]

One of the boards that I used to frequently frequent has regular annual meetings. Sometimes the people that go express surprise about how different someone is in real life compared to on the boards. More charming, less rude, quiet and thoughtful (as opposed to self centred and full of it :P)

I'm not talking about someone who deliberately maintains an online persona which is radically different to their real self for whatever reason, I'm purely talking about the unconscious showing of different characteristics - or perhaps the third person perspective being a very different person to the one online.

Is it really possible that someone can be so different in two situations yet be unaware of it?

Sou

[Ab_Normal]

I lurk online... I lurk offline (stand at the back of the gathering projecting my intensely unapproachable look). Not much difference. :D

[Soubrette]

I lurk online... I lurk offline (stand at the back of the gathering projecting my intensely unapproachable look). Not much difference. :D

So lurking is your defining characteristic :P ?

Sou

[Ab_Normal]

Seems so. (heads back into the shadows)

[viscousmemories]

I've met five or six of the members here in person, but I'm not sure how accurate any comparisons I might make between their real life persona and online persona would be. Which is to say, I'm not sure spending an hour or two face-to-face provides much more information about a person's personality or character than reading their posts.

That said, I think people who have chatted with me or met me in person probably have a pretty different impression of me than those who have only read my posts. For example I think I come across as a lot more serious, rigid and arrogant in posts than I really am. I blame the fact that I'm hypersensitive about my writing, so I put a lot more care into it than is normal. :shrug:

[Roland98]

I thought you were pretty similar to what I see online, vm. But yeah, probably a bit more lighthearted.

I think I'm pretty much the same too, though I tend to be quieter in big groups and keep my mouth shut more IRL than I do online.

[TomJoe]

Is it that people are different online, opposed to how they are offline ... or is it that we, as viewers of the online personality, read more into those responses/interactions than ever was intended?

[Ensign Steve]

One of the boards that I used to frequently frequent has regular annual meetings. Sometimes the people that go express surprise about how different someone is in real life compared to on the boards. More charming, less rude, quiet and thoughtful (as opposed to self centred and full of it :P)

Someone (so-hy, iirc) said UMOC is actually decent in person. Weirdness.

Anywho, the people that I have met, Shea, vm, Lauri, pesci, Jacey, etc etc etc are pretty much the same online as face-to-face as far as I can tell. Except vm. ;)

[viscousmemories]

I thought you were pretty similar to what I see online, vm.
:eyebrow3:

But yeah, probably a bit more lighthearted.
Well that's good, anyway.

I think I'm pretty much the same too, though I tend to be quieter in big groups and keep my mouth shut more IRL than I do online.
I couldn't tell if you were low-key or bored out of your skull. Don't feel obligated to tell me.

[viscousmemories]

Except vm. ;)
I bet it was hard for you to believe I could actually be cooler.

[Ensign Steve]

And better looking!

:kssmyass:

[viscousmemories]

:chuckle:

[viscousmemories]

Is it that people are different online, opposed to how they are offline ... or is it that we, as viewers of the online personality, read more into those responses/interactions than ever was intended?
It seems likely to me that there's a fair amount of that. We probably tend to conjure a lot of the stuff about our fellow discussants we would ordinarily get from physical cues. So for example if I'm in a pissy mood I might be more inclined to read hostility into a sarcastic comment than I would if I could read the face or tone of the person saying it.

[Roland98]

I thought you were pretty similar to what I see online, vm.
:eyebrow3:

Heh. That's not a bad thing. :)

I couldn't tell if you were low-key or bored out of your skull. Don't feel obligated to tell me.

Did I seem bored? I had a really good time. I guess I must be low-key then. (Exactly what that means, I'm not sure...)

[Crumb]

I am the shy quiet type. I think that is different than how I am here.

[Ensign Steve]

Yah, here you are more the Mac-Daddy Crumb-Meister Electro-Pimp type.

[Crumb]

:pimpin:

[viscousmemories]

I thought you were pretty similar to what I see online, vm. :eyebrow3:
Heh. That's not a bad thing. :)
Oh, good. :yup:

Did I seem bored? I had a really good time. I guess I must be low-key then. (Exactly what that means, I'm not sure...)
You didn't really seem bored, no. By low-key I meant mellow, laid back, unaffected. As accomplished as you are I expected you to be much more frenetic socially, but you weren't at all. So I wasn't sure if you were bored or naturally chilled. I'm glad to hear it wasn't the former. :)

[Roland98]

Yeah, I am definitely not frenetic.

[Ymir's blood]

According to Pesci, I'm pretty much the same offline as on. I do tend to be very quiet when around unfamiliar people, especially in groups. My language isn't as formal either.

[Soubrette]

It seems that in general we think here that there might be differences in degrees of behaviour but we're pretty much the same on or offline. I can understand how shyness may mask other characteristics, in the same way that a shy person may be very different with one set of people compared to another. Or even one person may be different in one situation eg work compared to a night out.

I'm trying to think of some non specific examples (in case I get busted by someone who knows me :P) so for example - could someone have a fantastic sense of humour, continually making witty quips etc online but in person have no sense of humour at all?

It seems unlikely to me yet it's happened to other people - can I write this off as anecdotal evidence :chin:

:)

Sou

[Dingfod]

I'm pretty much the same in person as I am online, though a bit shy at first. In other words, don't expect me to make that good of a first impression. After a bit of time to get to know you, lubricated with alcohol, I become the same silly old fart I am online.

[Crumb]

I can be kinda witty online (at least I like to think so) but in real life I am much more quiet and shy. So that I can be just as witty, but it is usually only with those that know me well and that I am very comfortable with. That is a very short list of people. It is a lot easier for me to be myself here. Odd that.

[godfry n. glad]

I have many folks who think I come across fairly seriously online, compared to my RL persona. My boss has told me that some of my emails can be read as appallingly insensitive, but she knows, the same information, presented in person carries a great deal of facial and body language that actually diffuses and humors the message.

But other than that, I do tend to have a short temper, philistine sensibilities, a tinge of arrogance fed by a tendency to observe and reflect upon the idiosyncracies of my fellow humans. I have what I think is an odd sense of humor, but not sick or twisted. More like acidic. I'm fairly blunt. I have chronic problems with authority because I tend to express my opinions openly and with regular aplomb, insert one or both shod feet into my nattering mouth. If you hadn't noticed, I tend to have strong opinions that I'm not shy about expressing. :rant:

But... at lot of the time, you don't see the huge coprophagic grin on my face while I'm typing the message.

Of course, being pretty much a negative pessimist, I make the worst possible interpretations of almost all ambivalent statements.

As with warn, I'm a little slow to warm to strangers. Lubricating with spirits helps. Commonality, as well. I met a bunch of Colorado infidels once, but the only one I know of here that I've actually met in person is AspenMama. The thing is, when she met me, I was as sick as tomcat with hairballs. Running off to retch in the bushes hardly makes a good impression. :sadcheer:

godfry

[freemonkey]

I try to be myself, I think I'm being myself online, but what doesn't come across is how frantic I can sometimes be IRL. I can also be a little bitchy IRL (when I'm busy, frantic and feeling abused), but that just slips out, and is something I can avoid online.

[Shake]

I am much quieter in person. I'd say I'm shy, but I've moved away from that a bit. I'm much more outgoing than I used to be, but that's not saying a whole lot.

I can be similarly flirty* if I feel the object of the flirtations is game enough to go along. But, like Earth (as described in HHGtG), I'm mostly harmless.

/me winks at the ladies!
How you doin'? [/Joey] :heybabeh:

[beyelzu]

One of the boards that I used to frequently frequent has regular annual meetings. Sometimes the people that go express surprise about how different someone is in real life compared to on the boards. More charming, less rude, quiet and thoughtful (as opposed to self centred and full of it :P)

Someone (so-hy, iirc) said UMOC is actually decent in person. Weirdness.

Anywho, the people that I have met, Shea, vm, Lauri, pesci, Jacey, etc etc etc are pretty much the same online as face-to-face as far as I can tell. Except vm. ;)
actually, I met umoc irl and I have to say he was a decent guy. when I went to the ga infidels meeting people were surprised that I wasnt an evil troll. of course at the time, I spent all my time posting evil shit in pd so I guess I shouldnt be surprised that people thought I was an asshole.

[justaman]

I can't really say since I haven't ever actually met anyone off a forum before. One of the down sides to living in the most isolated capital city in the world I guess. :deepsigh:

Personality-wise I don't know whether or not I'd be much different in person. I guess most people would be a little different given that it's kinda difficult to get an accurate idea about someone simply through text.

[xorbie]

Well, I do use online forums as my outlet for debate, so I guess I come off as more of an ass than I do in real life. I'm usually pretty laidback but also very sarcastic, cynical and always looking to make a joke. Plus I'm way better looking. :suave:

[The Lone Ranger]

I think I'm pretty-much the same online as I am in "real life."


I almost never look at the "poster name" when I'm reading posts. Consequently, I have to admit that I don't know individual posters (or their online personae) nearly as well as perhaps I should.


Cheers,

Michael

[godfry n. glad]

Plus I'm way better looking. :suave:

Is that online, or in real life? :P

[Farren]

Well I can testify that JoeP is more or less the person I expected in real life. Good elecution, broad general knowledge, careful in his choice of words, wry sense of humour and a generally very nice guy.

[JoeP]

How have you been, farren? I was beginning to think you'd taken another short holiday in the hospital until your post on ganking last week. Now I assume you're in one of those high-stress working periods...?

[Shake]

Haven't had the pleasure of meeting anyone from this board yet, but I met a couple of local (to me) posters from IIDB at an Atheists Meetup (atheists.meetup.com) a while back. They weren't/aren't huge posters, so there was little opportunity to get to know them online. They were very nice IRL.

I hope to meet some more in the future.

[pescifish]

According to Pesci, I'm pretty much the same offline as on.Lucky me! :yup:

I've met quite a few people from these forums, mostly the same batch that Ensign Steve mentioned. It's hard for me to separate the online/offline personalities -- it's all part of my knowledge of those persons now. I would say though that Jacey is, as I think he has said about himself, more shy in person than his online persona suggests. But when he's in his wrestler mode, wooohoo!, he's definitely on and ready for mischief! :cool: