PDA

View Full Version : Not in the face!


BrotherMan
05-21-2009, 03:55 PM
The company I work for is in a transition. We were recently bought out by a bigger fish. There's a lot of anxiety and hullaballoo about a lot of things but it's somewhat heartening to see how big corporations try to inspire their employees to be safe(er).

The newest program urges each worker to ask himself this question every morning "Why do I want to be safe today?" Putting aside the question begging, each person is also supposed to add an item answering that question with a very specific thing that can help achieve that daily goal.

For the next two weeks (okay, until the end of next week, I was supposed to have been doing this all week - but BrotherMan was busy) we have to make a Post-It with a goal and something we can do to get us there.

For example:



I will wear safety glasses with side shields, splash goggles and or a face shield when appropriate.



That's what I put on one. I have another waiting in the wings, one that's much less serious in tone.



As your world leader it is important that I set a good example for my minions, followers and sycophants. As such I will remember to wear gloves when entering the warehouse and production areas.



I'm waiting to post that one tomorrow. After posting five of these I'm running out of good reasons to want to be safe without repeating myself. Outside of glasses, gloves and ergonomics I face few life or limb threatening hazards (save my drive to and from work, which I covered in the initial post it at the kick off for this).

Help me :ff:ers, I want to keep giving it to you in the manner in which you've come accustomed. What sort of bullshit goals can I make up to keep The Man off my back?

Sock Puppet
05-21-2009, 03:59 PM
I will practice proper ergonomic techniques while typing and mousing, and thus avoid a repetitive stress injury.

ChuckF
05-21-2009, 04:06 PM
In order to spite the Jews who would see me incapacitated, I will wear a hardhat or other appropriate protective gear in hardhat-designated areas, areas prone to falling debris, or areas controlled by the Jews. This will frustrate the Zionists.



I will wear an OSHA-approved codpiece.

Shelli
05-21-2009, 04:19 PM
That's what she said! :bunnythrust:


Shocking that this wasn't duly noted already! Simply shocking! :unfrown:

Smilin
05-21-2009, 04:40 PM
Personal safety plans?

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH........

Cubicle wallpaper!

wei yau
05-21-2009, 04:47 PM
I will spend as much time as possible surfing the Freethought Forum, so as to identify sexual partners I should avoid such as Chuck's Mom, Chuck and the entire nation of Spain.

JoeP
05-21-2009, 07:00 PM
http://yarp.motivatedphotos.com/uploads/2008/7/7/633510155578947092-bukkake---it's-all-fun-and-games.jpg

Previously posted under apophallation.

Texas Lynn
05-21-2009, 09:02 PM
Sounds like the pirates' goal is to stop sabotage. Probably a wise business initiative in these uncertain times.

Wonderbread Leotard
05-21-2009, 09:52 PM
"Not in the face!""I will wear safety glasses with side shields, splash goggles and or a face shield when appropriate."*sigh*

I've always warned you that letting porn stars unionize is a bad idea.

Dingfod
05-22-2009, 05:00 AM
Do not store live crabs in a toilet cubicle.