Ask a capitalist pig

[ChuckF]

Hello internet socialists! I'm capitalist pig! :capitalistpig:

In a few hours it will be Independence Day here in the America internets, and I think that you people have probably forgotten what that means because you've been smoking the hemp rope of tax oppression from the government bong of wealth redistribution for so long now that you're too high on welfare to recognize what liberty is. So that is why I'm starting this thread.

Did you know that almost every problem in the world today can be traced directly to government interference and meddling in the freedom-based free operation of the free market of freedom? I'll bet you didn't because you have been hoodwinked by the same bureaucratic jackals of totalitarianism who stole an election for Al Franken and the Senate for the Taxocrat Party. No more! :capitalistpig: is here to answer your questions about life, liberty, and the overriding rationality of individual self-interest and unregulated markets.

But don't think this is just about economics or politics! No, it's about much more! Are you having relationship problems? Is your computer acting strangely? Not sure which fork to use at fancy dinner parties? Thinking about getting a pet? No problem! Ask me, :capitalistpig:. I'll solve your problem with the power of free and open competition. I'll tell you what the free market would do, because that's what you should do.

Step right up!

[livius drusus]

Dear :capitalistpig:,

I had to ban an awesome lulzcow today. How can I cope with the bereavement?

Sadly yours,
The Antithesis of Freethought

[ChuckF]

Dear :capitalistpig:,

I had to ban an awesome lulzcow today. How can I cope with the bereavement?

Sadly yours,
The Antithesis of Freethought
Dear Antithesis of "Freethought" whatever that means:

The loss of a beloved lulzcow is never easy, but I congratulate you on exercising your individual power to drop the banhammer. If the socialists get their way, some bureaucrat in Washington will take your banhammer and give it to the gays! But even the comfort of individual autonomy doesn't completely dull the sting of loss, so take it from :capitalistpig: : it's not your fault. This lulzcow would have been banned anyway, simply because of his failure to innovate and respond to market demands for new lulz. It's about adaptation and survival, and he didn't adapt, so he didn't survive. That is the natural order of all things. You simply acted as a mechanism of the natural order of things, and if you had done otherwise, you would be unnatural by definition. :capitalistpig: logic is unassailable!

Believe me, the loss of this lulzcow has created an economic niche into which new and better lulzcows will flow and compete, and soon a new, greater lulzcow will emerge, until he, too, is consumed by the almighty majesty of the lulzbourse. You acted for the greater good, but more importantly, for your own good.

I'll eat you as soon as I get my chance,

:capitalistpig:

[rigorist]

WTF is vegan bacon made out of?

[ChuckF]

WTF is vegan bacon made out of?
De rigeurist:

I don't know what vegan means, but bacon is made of the stupid and poor. Where do you think I made my fortune?

Om nom nom,

:capitalistpig:

[Stephen Maturin]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

Please explain the Invisible Hand and its relationship, if any, to the chemofist.

Yours in Christ Jesus,
Joseph Momma

[Qingdai]

Dear capitalistic pig,
How can I get out of contracts using your system?

Lease society dodger (LSD)

[chunksmediocrites]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

As a card-carrying internet socialist, I wish to point out that by offering free advice you are actually giving away services. You know what other person gave away free services? Karl Marx.

My question is: how long have you been a crypto-marxist posing as a capitalist?

[ChuckF]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

Please explain the Invisible Hand and its relationship, if any, to the chemofist.

Yours in Christ Jesus,
Joseph Momma
Dear Joseph Mammy:

The Invisible Hand (pbuh) and the chemofist are linked by many complex strings of economic theory. I will try to put them in layman's terms so you can understand them with your communism-addled mind. The chemofist is what the Invisible Hand will look like if the wealth redistributors get their way: a ridiculous simulacrum of liberty, bound up by state repression and regulation and full of teh cansarz of socialism. This is why there should be no capital gains tax.

- :capitalistpig:

Dear capitalistic pig,
How can I get out of contracts using your system?

Lease society dodger (LSD)
Hello Least Socialism Dodger:

The collectivists have been very successful in convincing people that leases are legally "binding" contracts and that it's somehow difficult to break these kind of agreements. That is a big lie. Fortunately for you and :ff:, :capitalistpig: is here to tell you the truth. The enforceability of a lease (E) can be mathematically expressed in very simple terms:

glessee
----------- = E
glessor

Where g = number of guns owned. If E>1, you can break the lease. If E<1, you can't. If E=1, then you need to buy more guns. Actually, even if E>1, and especially if E<1, you need to buy more guns. Do it while you still can!

See you at the firing range!

:capitalistpig:

[ChuckF]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

As a card-carrying internet socialist, I wish to point out that by offering free advice you are actually giving away services. You know what other person gave away free services? Karl Marx.

My question is: how long have you been a crypto-marxist posing as a capitalist?
Dear Stupid Fucknut:

Does Noam Chomsky not talk about the marketplace of ideas? That means that in a free society, the best idea - mine - always wins. Or did you never come across a little thing called natural selection in your latte-fueled readings of Howard Zinn in between undergraduate circlejerks? Believe me, when Americans rise up to cast off the bonds of state oppression and return to the foundational ideas of the Founding Fathers like Freedom and Liberty and Property and Gun ownership, which should be happening any day now, you will pay a lot of Ron Paul dollars (not some worthless fiat currency - don't make me :lolhog:) to listen to my ideas!

Hmm??

:capitalistpig:

[Qingdai]

Are Ron Paul dollars accepted at major gun dealers or will I have to go the back parking lot of WallM*rt again?

That guy missing two fingers tried to touch me, last time.

[ChuckF]

Are Ron Paul dollars accepted at major gun dealers or will I have to go the back parking lot of WallM*rt again?

That guy missing two fingers tried to touch me, last time.
If they don't take Ron Paul dollars they are communists.

[Qingdai]

What if the communists are armed!?!

:freakout:

[chunksmediocrites]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

As a card-carrying internet socialist, I wish to point out that by offering free advice you are actually giving away services. You know what other person gave away free services? Karl Marx.

My question is: how long have you been a crypto-marxist posing as a capitalist?
Dear Stupid Fucknut:

Does Noam Chomsky not talk about the marketplace of ideas? That means that in a free society, the best idea - mine - always wins. Or did you never come across a little thing called natural selection in your latte-fueled readings of Howard Zinn in between undergraduate circlejerks? Believe me, when Americans rise up to cast off the bonds of state oppression and return to the foundational ideas of the Founding Fathers like Freedom and Liberty and Property and Gun ownership, which should be happening any day now, you will pay a lot of Ron Paul dollars (not some worthless fiat currency - don't make me :lolhog:) to listen to my ideas!

Hmm??

:capitalistpig:
Can I pay you in founding father foundational ideas like slaves instead? I think they are equal to two-thirds of a Ron Paul dollar. Oh and Zinn is a Stalinist, fuck him.

[ChuckF]

What if the communists are armed!?!

:freakout:
Oh believe me, they are. And they want to exappropriate your hard-earned wealth AND GUNS and give them to the poors and the gays! Then they will force you, at gun point, to pretend that gold has no inherent value! This is why you have to buy more guns and Ron Paul dollars right now, before they finish rapestrangling Liberty in America as the Founders Envisioned It.

- :capitalistpig:

[ChuckF]

Can I pay you in founding father foundational ideas like slaves instead? I think they are equal to two-thirds of a Ron Paul dollar. Oh and Zinn is a Stalinist, fuck him.
Yes, slaves will be acceptable but their value will of course fluctuate with the Real Value of Gold as determined by the market. But I don't expect a Maoist-Leninist-Castro-lover like you to understand that.

- :capitalistpig:

[livius drusus]

Dear :capitalistpig:,

Why did Sarah Palin resign as governor of Alaska?

Signed,
Lower 48

[Caligulette]

What if the communists are armed!?!

:freakout:

I am.... I am.....

Dear Capitalist Pig - can you explain how taxing my health insurance will lead to my having comprehensive coverage?

Signed,
The Knitting Marxist
Have gun, will ravel

[Doctor X]

This thread is awesome.

--J.D.

[Doctor X]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

Does not the Free Market [Tm.--Ed.] allow the recognition that certain babes who WILL NOT TALK TO MEBECAUSETHEYAREWHORESCUNTBITCHES!!!1!! may be used as my the general sexual slaves for the betterment of the Commonwealth [All Rights Reserved.--Ed.] or do you have a prolapsed rectum?

Signed:

Leader of a Major Political Movement
My Mummy's Basement

[Miisa]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

How can I be just like you one day? I am currently subjected to the miseries of the oppression of a socialist regime, and I am planning a magnificent capitalist revolution but need tips. And lackeys.
Thank in advance.

Signed
Taxpayerandpayerandpayer14

[ChuckF]

Dear :capitalistpig:,

Why did Sarah Palin resign as governor of Alaska?

Signed,
Lower 48
Dear Lover 48:

Socialism!

- :capitalistpig:


Dear Capitalist Pig - can you explain how taxing my health insurance will lead to my having comprehensive coverage?

Signed,
The Knitting Marxist
Have gun, will ravel
Dear Nitty Gritty Dirt Marxist:

Taxing health insurance, and indeed taxing anything, leads to forcible redistribution of wealth and the death of Freedom. If you don't already have "comprehensive coverage" that just means that either you don't want it, you're too lazy to work for it, or that the socialists have made it impossible for you to get. I recommend converting your assets into gold and finding a good Freedom Doctor who will accept Ron Paul dollars.

- :capitalistpig:

Dear Capitalist Pig:

Does not the Free Market [Tm.--Ed.] allow the recognition that certain babes who WILL NOT TALK TO MEBECAUSETHEYAREWHORESCUNTBITCHES!!!1!! may be used as my the general sexual slaves for the betterment of the Commonwealth [All Rights Reserved.--Ed.] or do you have a prolapsed rectum?

Signed:

Leader of a Major Political Movement
My Mummy's Basement
Dear Douchington Arms:

Didn't the free market ban you?

-:capitalistpig:
Dear Capitalist Pig,

How can I be just like you one day? I am currently subjected to the miseries of the oppression of a socialist regime, and I am planning a magnificent capitalist revolution but need tips. And lackeys.
Thank in advance.

Signed
Taxpayerandpayerandpayer14
Dear Stupid Foreigner:

You will need to find people who haven't become too fat and slothful off by suckling the milk of other's labors from the government teat. You will probably have to go abroad to find these people. I recommend the United States, where all the capitalists are svelte. You can also buy cheap guns here, at least for the next couple of hours. Good luck with Freedom!

- :capitalistpig:

[livius drusus]

Dear :capitalistpig:,

How do you plan to celebrate our Independence Day?

Signed,
John Hancock

[ChuckF]

Dear John Handcock:

I'm getting drunk and shooting fireworks at poor people!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

- :capitalistpig:

[Nullifidian]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

I'm currently teaching a class on contemporary social problems. What do you think are the most important sociological principles and problems I should tell my students about?

Signed,
The Anarchist Adjunct :anarchyglomp:

[ChuckF]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

I'm currently teaching a class in sociology on contemporary social problems. What do you think are the most important sociological principles and problems I should tell my students about?

Signed,
The Adjunct Anarchist :anarchyglomp:
Dear Abject Analarchist:

The first problem that you should teach your students about is the problem of the intellectual ivory tower elite orthodoxy like yourself which brainwashes young people into being lazy and desiring to exist off of the wealth that others have accumulated and the state has appropriated. It's you! You're the problem!

Then you should also teach them about how corporate taxation causes all poverty in the world.

You probably don't know this because you are a public school welfare lackey but sociology is a fake discipline invented by economically uncompetitive professors looking for a larger share of grant money from the Department of Education government boondoggle!

- :capitalistpig:

[Doctor X]

Dear Capitalist Pig:

Does this look infected to you?

Signed
Worried Parent

[chunksmediocrites]

Um, I'm no doctor, but I think you should take that watch off your black penis.

[Doctor X]

But it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'

--J.D.

[BrotherMan]

If it's ticking you should see a doctor. Or a prostitute. Or a film producer.

[Caligulette]

Dear :capitalistpig: ,

It has come to my attention that my son has capitalist tendencies. Do you offer an exchange program for a more communistic child? He has a knack for making money by selling things (teeth, popsicles, etc), and an aversion to saving it. I would prefer a share-er who knows the words to The Internationale.

In Negotiations,
Red Momace

[Dingfod]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

I have a dilemma. I need to purchase a new weed whacker, string trimmer, if you will. Not even you can afford to buy an American-made one or carry it if you could, so I have my choice between Swedish-made Husqvarna for mega-bucks, Japanese-made Ryobi for medium-bucks, or a Chinese-made Peace-Oh-Crap for cheapo-bucks. Which should I buy and why?

Okie not from Moscowgee

[Sock Puppet]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

On our country's glorious Independence Day, I slipped and fell in the mud. Is this the fault of the liberal media, the Obama Administration, or filthy foreigners?

Best regards,
Muddy Waters

[ChuckF]

Dear :capitalistpig: ,

It has come to my attention that my son has capitalist tendencies. Do you offer an exchange program for a more communistic child? He has a knack for making money by selling things (teeth, popsicles, etc), and an aversion to saving it. I would prefer a share-er who knows the words to The Internationale.

In Negotiations,
Red Momace
Dear Silly Lady:

It looks like your child is growing up American despite the Death of America! Help him save that fiat money he makes from selling teeth and popsicles and exchange it for something of real value, like a copy of The Fountainhead. But don't buy a used copy because that isn't fair to the publisher! Is the Internationale a commercial jingle or what?

- :capitalistpig:
Dear Capitalist Pig,

I have a dilemma. I need to purchase a new weed whacker, string trimmer, if you will. Not even you can afford to buy an American-made one or carry it if you could, so I have my choice between Swedish-made Husqvarna for mega-bucks, Japanese-made Ryobi for medium-bucks, or a Chinese-made Peace-Oh-Crap for cheapo-bucks. Which should I buy and why?

Okie not from Moscowgee
Dear Real American:

Buy the Chinese one. 0bama has effectively nationalized the American weedwhacker industry and turned it into a basically a Ponzi scheme, and Sweden and Japan are socialist hellholes that produce comically ineffective products because workers there have no incentive to produce. Why should they? The nanny state gives them everything for free! Right after it steals it from me! The Chinese, while nominally "communists," at least appreciate how excellent free trade is for everyone. If you're worried about the quality being low, buy two!

-:capitalistpig:

Dear Capitalist Pig,

On our country's glorious Independence Day, I slipped and fell in the mud. Is this the fault of the liberal media, the Obama Administration, or filthy foreigners?

Best regards,
Muddy Waters
Dear Dummy Waters -

The three cannot be separated. Obama is a filthy foreigner (for example have you seen his birth certificate? ME NEITHER!) and he runs the Liberal State Media with his iron fist of socialist black theology Muslim totalitarianism just like Hitler did. It wouldn't surprise me if one of his flunkies pushed you down in the mud like a pig because the Islamists in the White House think pigs are unclean and they wanted to show how they consider Real American Patriots like you to be PIGS wallowing in the "mud" of Freedom and Liberty that they desperately want to "clean up" with the twin garden hoses of tax hikes and big government socialism. I hope the rest of your Tea Party was good!

- :capitalistpig:

[livius drusus]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

My neighbor mowed my strip of lawn between the sidewalk and the street over the weekend. She said she just had the mower out so kept going while she was at it. She also plays the guitar on her back deck at dusk.

Is she a communist? Is there some sort of restraining order I should get to keep her from using my crab grass and air space to spread her Soviet propaganda?

Sincerely,
I Am Not Now Nor Have I Ever Been A Good Neighbor

[Joshua Adams]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

According to my accountant, I pay more taxes yearly than the average American earns in income. In fact, I'm almost at the point where if I produced any more, I'd be losing money! How can I get greedy Uncle Sam's hand out of my pocket, and make room for that nice Invisible Handjob I'd like to be getting, just like you?

[ChuckF]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

My neighbor mowed my strip of lawn between the sidewalk and the street over the weekend. She said she just had the mower out so kept going while she was at it. She also plays the guitar on her back deck at dusk.

Is she a communist? Is there some sort of restraining order I should get to keep her from using my crab grass and air space to spread her Soviet propaganda?

Sincerely,
I Am Not Now Nor Have I Ever Been A Good Neighbor
Dear Poland 1938:

Unless she demanded immediate payment in precious metals for services rendered, then yes, your neighbor is a communist. Oh sure, it starts out as just being "friendly" and "volunteering" to mow a little bit of your lawn. Because after all, the lawnmower was out anyway, why not just be neighborly about it? That's what the ideologues want you to think. Then before you know it BAM she's moved a whole family of unemployed hippie illegal anchor babies into your front parlor and there's nothing you can do about it. It's called salami tactics and the communists are experts at it.

She's trying to lull you into a sense of false security with this guitar music. If she had any real American talent she would be signed to a major record label, not radicalizing the youths with revolutionary songs about life on the collective.

To answer your question, there is only one restraining order the red communist understands: a massive military deterrent. Buy more guns before it's too late. Anything else is appeasement.

- :capitalistpig:
Dear Capitalist Pig,

According to my accountant, I pay more taxes yearly than the average American earns in income. In fact, I'm almost at the point where if I produced any more, I'd be losing money! How can I get greedy Uncle Sam's hand out of my pocket, and make room for that nice Invisible Handjob I'd like to be getting, just like you?
Dear John Adams:

You are one of the smartest people I've talked to yet here. Why are you hanging out with these Internet Red Guards? As you probably know, the US is getting close to where taxation oppression becomes so great that it is pointless to produce any more because the government will just steal your earnings! This is called communism, and it is expressed in a science graph called the Laughter Curve. Unlike evolution, it is a fact, and not a theory. Just ask JOSEPH STALIN.

Like you, I pay the equivalent of several average families income in taxes each year. Sometimes as many as eight, when the state uses the capital gains tax to punish the market. The only way to get the thieving hand of the tax man out of your pocket to make room for the gratifying stroke of the invisible hand is to stop paying taxes altogether. For example, did you know that the 16th amendment, which "legalized" the federal income tax and killed America, was never ratified? In fact, there is no law anywhere saying that anyone has to pay taxes!

That sounds outrageous, I know, but so many Americans have been spoonfed the bureaucrats' anti-market propaganda for so long that they're afraid to face the truth!

- :capitalistpig:

[Crumb]

Dear Free Market Swine,
How can I tell if you are a parody or not?
Sincerely, Poe

[ChuckF]

Dear Free Market Swine,
How can I tell if you are a parody or not?
Sincerely, Poe
Dear Poo:

You know I am not a parody because objectively speaking there is nothing funny about freedom. I grant you permission to quote me on that so long as proper attribution is made, so that you don't violate my intellectual property, and I won't have to shoot you. (At least not for that.)

- :capitalistpig:

[Nullifidian]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

What is this I hear about Henry Gates conspiring with Barack Obama to set up a poor, hapless peace officer in order to sell Obama's socialized medicine? And can you explain to me what, if anything, this has to do with Obama's birth certificate and the New World Order?

Sincerely,
Stymied in San Diego

[Garnet]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

If a tree falls in the forest will the Democrats tax it?

Sincerely,

Libertarian Lulu

[Crumb]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

How can I use our wonderful free economic system to make a million dollars in six months from the comfort of my own home?

-Future entrepreneur

[ChuckF]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

What is this I hear about Henry Gates conspiring with Barack Obama to set up a poor, hapless peace officer in order to sell Obama's socialized medicine? And can you explain to me what, if anything, this has to do with Obama's birth certificate and the New World Order?

Sincerely,
Stymied in San Diego
Dear San Diego Hymie -

I am glad to explain this because the state MSM won't report the truth. All of these facts have been confirmed by the free market of information on the Ron Paul forums. Here is the real deal:

Barack Obama was born in Kenya when it was part of the British Empire, and Britain has nationalized communist health care. As an infant, he was dispatched to America by communist agents and his handlers, with the collaboration of socialist democrat party, have sculpted his political career ever since then as part of a scheme to kill Real Americans with socialized medicine care rationing. They started by slowly using regulation to strangle the insurance industry, which works for the good of everyone involved AND makes a profit, and now they are moving to stage two, which involves killing all the white people with substandard care. If you need proof, just consider this: in 1971, Obama associate Bill Ayers bombed the Capitol Building as part of a communist plot. In the same year, the United States canceled the Bretton Woods agreement, and US dollars ceased being convertible into gold, thus creating the fiat monetary system that is used by the New World Order to control economies through the Federal Reserve and central banks around the world. I don't think anyone here is silly enough to claim that is coincidence.

Anyway, enter "Professor" Gates. Now Gates and Obama are both black professors, so they have like a quintuple sense of entitlement. First because they are ivory tower elites who hate the free market because they don't produce anything and second because they are black, and generations of black people have been made helpless from the state coddling them all the time. Honestly, can you think of one time ever that black people have ever had to work for anything in the entirety of American history? No, the socialists just give it to them, and it makes them lazy. Instead of competing as a race in the free market they get state subsidies from whitey, who pays the equivalent of several family incomes in taxes every year. That is also why these accusations of "racism" are totally absurd.

So Professor Gates maliciously provoked this poor innocent white man, who was only trying to do his honest white man job, into arresting him so Obama could get on TV and talk about it during his health care press conference. The rest of the story explains itself. For evidence, all you need to do is listen to the Beatles' White Album. Oh wow, the Beatles were British, isn't that a "coincidence?"

- :capitalistpig:
Dear Capitalist Pig,

If a tree falls in the forest will the Democrats tax it?

Sincerely,

Libertarian Lulu
Dear Libertarian Lulu -

They already do! It's through a socialist scheme called the National Parks System. If you went to a public school you are too dumb to know how it works so I'll tell you how. The government distorts the free market and removes enormous tracts of industrially-exploitable land from the market, and sets it aside to be "maintained" by a bunch of hippies who think they know better than the market. They pay these hippies, called "rangers," outlandish salaries at the expense of the taxpayers. Since the land has been removed from the free market and receives huge amounts of tax money from the government, this amounts to double taxation oppression. The outrageous thing is that if you want to VISIT one of these liberty-destroying "national parks," you, as a taxpayer, have to pay A FEE!!!1! The same fee that the illegals pay, in fact. So there is more oppression!

- :capitalistpig:
Dear Capitalist Pig,

How can I use our wonderful free economic system to make a million dollars in six months from the comfort of my own home?

-Future entrepreneur
Dear Future Comintern pen0r -

Sure, it's easy! Quit your job and get on welfare! The "benefits" gravy train never stops running, especially if you're an illegal like Barack Obama.

-:capitalistpig:

[erimir]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

Do you think it is more economically advantageous for me to believe in global warming or not?

Sincerely,
Don't Know If I'm Hot or Not

[ChuckF]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

Do you think it is more economically advantageous for me to believe in global warming or not?

Sincerely,
Don't Know If I'm Hot or Not
Dear Hottentot:

I want to begin with the objective truth that global warming is a myth and that the planet is cooling as demonstrated by many graph titles.

To answer your question, it only makes economic sense to believe in global warming if you are a climate researcher whose government welfare grants depend on convincing bureaucrats that global warming is real. In that case, it probably helps to actually believe it. Or if you are a government bureaucrat whose taxpayer funded paycheck depends on handing out those grants and convincing legislators that global warming is real. That is it. Otherwise believing in global warming is anathema to the free market and is therefore economically bad for everyone, just like the capital gains tax.

Also I don't know who you think you are fooling. You are obviously a communist because your name is taken from The Lord of the Rings which is anti-market socialist hate propaganda. Here we have Sauron, a captain of industry who has achieved incredible efficiency through his innovations in the orc workforce, and who is poised to take maximum advantage of the free market. But no, some statist welfare heroes have to put a stop to it with communism. Frodo can't do it alone. No, he needs help from everyone else to do it. The take home message for the kids is that heroes should reject individualism and rational choice, and instead stay home and let the government handle everything. Also, did you ever stop to think who made the rings of power, and who was supposed to keep them safe? The government. I guarantee you that if private industry had handled the security and maintenance of those rings there wouldn't have been any problem at all. But Tolkien never mentions that.

- :capitalistpig:

[Gonzo]

Dear Mr. Capitalist Pig,

Is it socialistic to revive a year old thread?

Due to the recent economic depression I now am only in the upper-upper middle class. Now that I am technically living below the poverty line, will I still qualify for Bush Tax Cuts?

Will Gold-Man Sacks accept the Ron Paul dollars you speak of and if not what are the interest rates at The First National Bank of Capitalist Pigs (ie under the mattress)?

Under this new Ron Paul-backed currency how will I be protected from other Capitalist Pigs in the stock exchange who are puposely creating an arena of instability and betting against me, the Little Guy?

Will the Federal Reserve gratiously stabalize my Ron Paul dollars with elastic Stretch Armstrong-style currency in the event that The First National Bank of Capitalist Pigs demands that the American people make a too big to fail tax payer bail-out or has that bridge already been burnt down?

Is General Motors seriously going to pay us back? Can we get that in Ron Paul dollars? :spend:

Lastly,
Economy, how does it fucking work?

With All Due Respect

Love,
Aint Nothing but a Blue Dog

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_S2-U51jCgLQ/S2lE5QtjVFI/AAAAAAAABgg/nIhodHT0LBY/s800/65_maproject8.jpg

PS - Also, how many Ron Paul dollars do I get when I finally accept the facebook friend request from Ron Paul that I've been ignoring all these months?

[erimir]

Dear Capitalist Pig,

Is right now a good time to invest in tea?

Surely all those tea-partiers are drinking at least some of it, right?

My only concern is that I'd either be working with or against the Chinese tea juggernaut, and those both scare me.

Sincerely,
Teabag Curious