My life sucks (in 3 sentences or less)

[Watser?]

I discovered a new, excellent way to waste large amounts of my day. You may already know about this site called: FML: Your everyday life stories (http://www.fmylife.com/)

It has very short testimonies on what happened to a person that day proving their lives suck. Some are funny, some are kinda sad and/or shocking and some are both.

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard.FML

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

Of course they are not all true necessarily, but a lot of them seem to weird or too mundane to make up.

[California Tanker]

Ah yes, I have encountered this site before. My personal favourite (for obvious reasons):

FML: I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him.... (http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2376689)

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

The responses are interesting. They're split about down the middle between "Your dad is a jackass to be threatening to shoot your date" and "Seriously, if that classic clichee made your date cry, you need to find a date who's less of a wimp."

NTM

[Watser?]

I'd leave the house, never talk to my dad again and get a good shrink (in case it's hereditary).

[Watser?]

Same with this one: Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom.

[Smilin]

You'd never talk to your mom again for wanting to practice safe sex?????

[Dingfod]

Oh, man my life sucks, but not as bad as I thought.

[Garnet]

Dammit. That website just got blocked here at work...while I was reading it.

:noid:

[Adam]

Of course they are not all true necessarily, but a lot of them seem to weird or too mundane to make up.

You obviously don't understand how this sort of humor works.

[Ensign Steve]

I am stupid and I enjoy being lied to, but I still don't find that site funny. I must be doing it wrong.

[Crumb]

:chuckle: Welcome to my Google Reader.

[Adam]

So far, my favorite thing about that site is that they're the first place I've seen the latest ridiculous Evony ad.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

You just discovered FML? It's great.


Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

They have a sister site, GMH (http://www.givesmehope.co).

When I was 4 years old, my family went on a Disney cruise. I was so excited...but I ended up getting sea sick. As I gloomily watched the other kids play with Mickey, I felt a someone tap my shoulder. It was Donald Duck. He stayed by my side the entire time, making sure I was having fun. To this day, he's still my favorite character. Donald Duck GMH

My brother has Down Syndrome and doesn't speak very well. This week while we were down the beach he tried to learn how to skim board.He would try and ask the other boys how they did it and they would laugh at him and walk away. The last day 4 teenage boys spent hours with him teaching him. They were so patient. He wouldn't stop smiling :)They GMH.

[Qingdai]

This seems probable.

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!" FML

[Crumb]

And what's wrong with that? :chin:

[Qingdai]

I just said it seemed probable.

I don't find the site funny, but it's interesting. In a "how wrong could things go" sort of way.

[Sock Puppet]

Some of them are damned funny. Others are meh, still others are a bunch of damnfool kids. :shakecane:

The comments are excruciatingly bad, however, even relative to the average, hideous quality of comments pages in general. :shudder:

[Ensign Steve]

This seems probable.

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!" FML

WIN!


The comments are excruciatingly bad, however, even relative to the average, hideous quality of comments pages in general. :shudder:

Not youtube! :ohnoes:

[Watser?]

Some of them are damned funny. Others are meh, still others are a bunch of damnfool kids. :shakecane:

The comments are excruciatingly bad, however, even relative to the average, hideous quality of comments pages in general. :shudder:

I hadn't even noticed there were comments.

[Watser?]

This seems probable.

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!" FML

WIN!

I'll see that and raise you: Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated.

[Ensign Steve]

Fucking potheads. :giggles:

[Sock Puppet]

Okay, I'll grant that youtube comments are worse. It would be possible, I guess, to rate various comments pages on a sliding scale of suck, but that way lies madness via Lovecraftian-level horror.

[Qingdai]

Rarely do I read the comments, it makes me lose any faith I have in humanity, if I was having any that day.

[Dingfod]

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon.

I did not post that.

[Ensign Steve]

http://www.geekologie.com/2009/08/05/video-game-fmls.jpg

"Video Game FMyLife" by Brian Murphy on CollegeHumor (http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1788659)

Discovered through Geekologie (http://www.geekologie.com/2009/08/dang_youve_got_it_rough_video.php), who describes FML thusly:
Even if you were just born this morning you've probably heard of FMyLife. The concept is simple: you make up some cheeselog story about how much your life sucks and then you post it on the internet (which is magic) so people can feel better about how much their lives suck. It's really a victorious feeling.
Yep, pretty much.

[Sock Puppet]

Okay, this one is good.

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

[Stormlight]

Even if you were just born this morning you've probably heard of FMyLife. The concept is simple: you make up some cheeselog story about how much your life sucks and then you post it on the internet (which is magic) so people can feel better about how much their lives suck. It's really a victorious feeling.
Yep, pretty much.

Mick?

[Ensign Steve]

Nah, I just don't find FML funny. Nor texts at midnight. But I will defend to the death your right to laugh at it.

Also bash.org is the shit.

[Stormlight]

Nah, I just don't find FML funny. Nor texts at midnight. But I will defend to the death your right to laugh at it.

I thought about what I find so funny about FML and I actually came up with something! :flowerdance:
It's the language. I translated some of the funnier ones into French and German and it just doesn't work. It's the way that the English language allows for this sort of matter-of-fact description. These understated, blunt ways to describe social disasters.

It just doesn't work in German or French. Or Luxembourgish for that matter.

I think it's also the reason why "we" tend to find English speaking people funnier and wittier.

Or maybe it's just me. :shakeff:

[Ensign Steve]

I think it's also the reason why "we" tend to find English speaking people funnier and wittier.

That's not why. :nope:

[Watser?]

We do?

[Sock Puppet]

Quit frontin', Dutchie.

[Watser?]

Ok, compared to Germans you are kinda funny.

[Qingdai]

Damned by faint praise!