The jig is up, lisarea!

[Ensign Steve]

I have discovered quite by accident that you are the secret alter-ego of Jack Handy. Deny it all you want, I know the truth!

I dare anybody to read these (http://www.brainlock.org/fun/deepthots.htm) and tell me with a straight face that they were not written by lisarea.

I do wonder how authentic the site is, though, because one of them has the word "fuck" in it, and they don't say "fuck" on NBC. Lisarea says "fuck" though! See, I caught ya!

[Ex-zombie]

Thanks for the link, Ensign. That site had me laughing my ass off. It was just what I needed. I"ve been a cranky bastard lately. My apologies for jumping on your shit in the music thread. :sorry:

[livius drusus]

So you're saying lisarea controls minds? That explains a lisa.

[Ensign Steve]

Thanks for the link, Ensign. That site had me laughing my ass off. It was just what I needed. I"ve been a cranky bastard lately. My apologies for jumping on your shit in the music thread. :sorry:

Hey, buddy! Don't give it another thought. I think you're a great kid, and hell... not all posts are gonna be winners. Especially not mine. :yup:

But, yeah, the Deep Thoughts? They make water literally pour out my eyes. I had to fight the urge to add ALL of them to the random quote generator. I had to leave a few for liv.

[Corona688]

They give me a chuckle, which is about as close as I've come to laughing out loud for a long time. Thanks.

[pescifish]

This one is definitely lisarea-like!
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
ETA... ooh and this one!
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart- aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

Damn, you're right, ES!

[LadyShea]

Well I, for one, have been begging lisarea to publish. Dunno why she won't.

[Ensign Steve]

The one that was the most obvious, was this one:

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

I also enjoyed this one so much that I added it to the random quote generator:
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

[wei yau]

This one is my all-time favorite, it's not the most clever, it's just so odd:

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!