Management Speak In Action

[Garnet]

Today I received an e-mail that started with:

I am leveraging this communication medium to notify you of upcoming changes/upgrades to...

I shit you not.

Do you have any gems like these to share?

[Garnet]

Does this recent announcement win the award for the most buzzwords in a single paragraph?

In order to accelerate our progress towards transforming <company name> into more of a value-driven services company, we have integrated all service delivery capabilities into one cohesive organization, which will be referred to as <new name for my division> moving forward. As one service delivery organization, we can better leverage the synergies between practice areas, ensure consistency in our go-to-market strategy and optimize our resources across practice areas and geographies. For employees, this means you are now more closely connected to a broader community of talent and can benefit from the sharing of knowledge and information across the business.

[vremya]

I get hives whenever I see "incentivize". (Ooo - that rhymes!)

[Adam]

I don't get the hate for "incentivize" (this isn't the first thread where it's come up). It's a perfectly cromulent word.

[livius drusus]

Garnet, that leveraging the communication medium bit has to have been ironic, right? RIGHT? :explode:

[Watser?]

I get hives whenever I see "incentivize". (Ooo - that rhymes!)

:warning:

This does not rhyme!

[Garnet]

Garnet, that leveraging the communication medium bit has to have been ironic, right? RIGHT? :explode:

Based upon the rest of the e-mail, which I can't reproduce here without violating some confidentiality rules, I don't think it's ironic. At all. Welcome to my world.

[livius drusus]

That's just unspeakable. :comfort:

[Garnet]

Clearly, you have not been incentivized to appreciate the synergies generated by this pure play word usage.

[Adam]

Clearly, you have not been incentivized to appreciate the synergies generated by this pure play word usage.

I'm truly sorry, Gar-nut, that you were pithed at such an early and tender age.

Otherwise, you might actually be able to converse, cogitate, and even understand the intricacies of your management's communication. Sad...so, so sad. Management sometimes needs to communicate using words you may not comprehend in order to improve efficiency and protect jobs. If you're against so-called "management speak", then you support job loss. Where is your empathy?

[SharonDee]

I get hives whenever I see "incentivize". (Ooo - that rhymes!)I feel ya. One of our lawyers used this in a meeting today and I spasmized.

Here's a new one (on me, anyway). When did "evergreen" become a verb that replaces "renew"? Like, one of the consultants talked about the software having the ability to "evergreen" a contract every three years.

[fragment]

Received by a disgruntled employee after some direct action:

Information has come to my attention which indicates that you may have intentionally driven a car through Inland Revenue's Christchurch building ... I am concerned that your conduct may be inconsistent with the Code of Conduct.

[Crumb]

Haha! :lol:

[Doctor X]

I get hives whenever I see "incentivize". (Ooo - that rhymes!)

Why I beat people who use the non-word "prioritize."

It breaks Orwell's Rules [Tm.--Ed.]. Do not mix Latin and Greek constructs when a perfectly good Anglo-Saxon idiom exists.

And we should listen to Orwell.

--J.D.

[Shake]

Does this recent announcement win the award for the most buzzwords in a single paragraph?

In order to accelerate our progress towards transforming <company name> into more of a value-driven services company, we have integrated all service delivery capabilities into one cohesive organization, which will be referred to as <new name for my division> moving forward. As one service delivery organization, we can better leverage the synergies between practice areas, ensure consistency in our go-to-market strategy and optimize our resources across practice areas and geographies. For employees, this means you are now more closely connected to a broader community of talent and can benefit from the sharing of knowledge and information across the business.

BINGO!

Boy, I can't believe no one else got it. You all were checking your boards, weren't you?