Sock Puppet
01-29-2010, 08:09 PM
So, some background first: My Maw is a devout Christian of the Church of Christ flavor (not "comma Scientist," which is probably why I'm still alive rather than having been prayed to death sometime in childhood). She's the type who squee's every time she sees families praying together, since due to Sekalar Hyoominism, American Christians are so oppressed they can't force everyone to love Jesus anymore.
I thought I'd sufficiently corrupted my younger brother, but about 8 years ago, out of the blue, he married a straitlaced Xian girl and seems to be trying to outdo the Duggars. So far they have 4 kids, all boys, ranging from 1 to 7.
The kids are homeschooled, with lots of Bible readings. Apparently the oldest one is a good reader, and has taken to reading the Bible to his little brothers. Maw is thrilled about all of this, of course, although she doesn't get much face-time with them because my sister-in-law's control freak mother dominates most of their family-gathering times.
So Maw was over and had a much anticipated but short-lived Bible reading session with the three older boys while their mother was putting the baby down:
4-year-old: “Can you read about when Job got the boils all over him?”
Maw: Um, what? Um, no, let’s read about Jesus. “Suffer the little children and let them come unto m-“
4yo {interrupting}: Can you read about Sodom and Gomorrah?”
Maw: “No, we’re-“
4yo: “How about Ananias and Saphira?”
Maw: “Let’s read about Adam and Eve….’…and they were naked, and-“
All three: “What’s naked mean?”
Maw: “Um, they didn’t wear clothes, so anyway-“
All three {laughing}: “They didn’t even wear any knickers?!”
Maw: “Knickers? What are knicker---oh.”
{Bible time fizzles}
I thought I'd sufficiently corrupted my younger brother, but about 8 years ago, out of the blue, he married a straitlaced Xian girl and seems to be trying to outdo the Duggars. So far they have 4 kids, all boys, ranging from 1 to 7.
The kids are homeschooled, with lots of Bible readings. Apparently the oldest one is a good reader, and has taken to reading the Bible to his little brothers. Maw is thrilled about all of this, of course, although she doesn't get much face-time with them because my sister-in-law's control freak mother dominates most of their family-gathering times.
So Maw was over and had a much anticipated but short-lived Bible reading session with the three older boys while their mother was putting the baby down:
4-year-old: “Can you read about when Job got the boils all over him?”
Maw: Um, what? Um, no, let’s read about Jesus. “Suffer the little children and let them come unto m-“
4yo {interrupting}: Can you read about Sodom and Gomorrah?”
Maw: “No, we’re-“
4yo: “How about Ananias and Saphira?”
Maw: “Let’s read about Adam and Eve….’…and they were naked, and-“
All three: “What’s naked mean?”
Maw: “Um, they didn’t wear clothes, so anyway-“
All three {laughing}: “They didn’t even wear any knickers?!”
Maw: “Knickers? What are knicker---oh.”
{Bible time fizzles}