Joy of Being Single

[Plant Woman]

I was driving into town this afternoon, dog sitting in the seat beside me and I just had this light happy mood. It made me think of all the things I am grateful for.


I don't have to answer to anyone, come and go as I please.
I'm going to school, enjoying the learning experience.
Eating a salad and a piece of cheese for dinner.
I can go walk on the beach anytime I feel up to it.
TV is shut off most of the time.
Peace and solitude. Ahhhhhhh.
Living in the moment.
Feeling better about myself.
Dating is fun, now that I'm getting used to it.


The only things I wish for are:


Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.
Sharon Dee's sports car.


And you?

[Ari]

Not owning a TV has been great. While I still watch the shows that I like on the internet there is something to be said for the lack of constant whine/noise/static in the background.

[Megatron]

I...

nevermind. Not gonna ruin your thread.

*backs away slowly.*

[Tanda]

:closehug:

[Plant Woman]

Megatron, that feeling will get there, I'm sure. :hug:

[Qingdai]

I dream of being able to find things where I left them.

[ITSOZAZ]

it truly is a joy being single. the sex is way better.

then i'm called like a hobbit to the ring in my pocket and it's checkout time and back to being married.

[erimir]

Personally, I often find sex better when I'm doing it with someone I've had encounters with before.

Now, this does not necessitate a relationship, but it does disincline me to having lots of random hook-ups. Fuckbuddies work pretty well tho, but those require certain conditions in order to function as Fbeezies.

Sorry to say something that isn't about the wonders of singledom per se (altho it does not imply that I need to be in a romantic relationship). Just struck me as something that does not agree with certain stereotypes.

[SharonDee]

I feel you, P-dub! The longer I'm single, the better I like it. I can't believe my ex was stupid enough, desperate enough, weak enough (pick one) to marry again so soon.

My list of things to be grateful for is similar to yours, except for

Eating a salad and a piece of cheese for dinner. (Unless you mean eating whatever you want without worrying how to feed someone else.)
I can go walk on the beach anytime I feel up to it. (So jealous!)
Dating is fun, now that I'm getting used to it.

I haven't done any dating because I don't know how. Although I have started chatting up a certain tall man and we're trying to work our schedules around an outing of some kind.

I also like spending my money on whatever I want ... or not spending money at all. Totally up to me and I like that.

[viscousmemories]

Although I have started chatting up a certain tall man...
This guy?
http://randazza.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/middle-finger.jpg

[SharonDee]

My goodness, he certainly has a big ... finger.

[JoeP]

I feel you, P-dub!

Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.



Wanna come for a ride in my car, little girl?
:racecar:

[Plant Woman]

I feel you, P-dub! The longer I'm single, the better I like it. I can't believe my ex was stupid enough, desperate enough, weak enough (pick one) to marry again so soon.

My list of things to be grateful for is similar to yours, except for

Eating a salad and a piece of cheese for dinner. (Unless you mean eating whatever you want without worrying how to feed someone else.)
I can go walk on the beach anytime I feel up to it. (So jealous!)
Dating is fun, now that I'm getting used to it.

I haven't done any dating because I don't know how. Although I have started chatting up a certain tall man and we're trying to work our schedules around an outing of some kind.

I also like spending my money on whatever I want ... or not spending money at all. Totally up to me and I like that.

Was it good for you? :giggle:

I'm jealous, you feel me up and now your eyes are on another.

Yes I meant eating what I want when I want, and the meal doesn't consist of meat (which I do eat, just not so much of it) and potatoes.

I think the rules for dating now are, there are no set of rules. After being with one personality for so many years, it's interesting to get to know someone different. Although I stopped dating one guy after he put me down for being too intelligent. I'm not apologizing for that, nor am I willing to dumb myself down, I have enough stupid moments as it is.

I forgot to add that I enjoy my solitude a lot, and when I crave human interaction I just go work in town at the local coffee shop, or call a friend and hang out.

[Lauri D]

I rather enjoy not having to worry about morning breath - i.e. I can wait an hour until AFTER having my coffee and breakfast to brush up.

I can wait to shave my legs until I know I'm going to wear a skirt or shorts.

Nobody's looking at me weird if I choose to eat a Lean Cuisine Thai entree... for breakfast.

The "right" way to do laundry is not a matter of dispute, low-level as it may have been, still... I know how to do my own laundry thankyouverymuch.

[Plant Woman]

The longer I'm single, the better I like it. I can't believe my ex was stupid enough, desperate enough, weak enough (pick one) to marry again so soon.

And most likely destined to fail. Those kind of marriages too soon after a long term one have a miserable survival rate. When the newness wears off they will most likely be in a heap of trouble. I have a feeling when my very soon to be ex is free from me, he will be marrying his mistress. But they made their beds and it doesn't concern me the problems they face in their future.

Nobody's looking at me weird if I choose to eat a Lean Cuisine Thai entree... for breakfast.

Can't you see? I'm looking at you weird. :giggle: My new breakfast food is an apple and cottage cheese. Maybe not as weird as yours though!

I have no desire to hook up with anyone anytime soon, if ever. However, I'm not ruling out that I may change my mind in the distant future. I am enjoying being single right now. I should have done this myself a lot sooner.

Where are the other single people? I want to hear moah!

[viscousmemories]

YouTube- Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

[Chris Porter]

Well, I've been single and loving it for a really long time. I did room with someone for about 7 years, so I know what compromise is, and it's not as bad as I first thought. So I would consider coupling up , if that's in the future. However, I'm not someone who gets lonely, so my singlehood has never been anything but nice. The only thing not nice is when you discover something great, and you want to share it right away. Also, lack of sex is not fun, but easily dealt with. And I suppose I could pick up strangers in bars if I was so inclined, so it's pretty much all my fault.

Now, I live with my sister, and I'm fine with that, too. But mostly, I really like being who I am, without a lot of compromise.

eta: oh, and when I was seven, I did publicly announce that I was not going to marry. I revisit my major decisions about every 10 years or so to re-verify, and while my stance has softened, I still don't see a lot of benefit in marriage, even after all these years. There is more benefit in living with someone you like, but marriage is really a piss-poor sort of contract.

[The Man]

Megatron, that feeling will get there, I'm sure. :hug:

Eh, maybe, maybe not. I've been single for about four years. I like the freedom, and the fact that I get lots of time to myself (those go pretty much hand in hand). But that doesn't stop me from feeling a horrible emptiness about being single. The lack of sex is one thing that's proving particularly irksome, especially since I'm not particularly inclined towards random hookups (although I'd be pretty wary of making a serious commitment too - I don't want to get hurt). That said, I guess it hasn't been irksome enough for me to go out of my way to do much other than wallow in pity about it for a couple of years. Maybe just because I've never actually gone out of my way to instigate relationships - they're not something I've ever really known how to initiate, because I'm a tremendous introvert. They've just sort of happened to me, in the past. I'm trying to learn how to fix that, but it's a huge learning process which seems as though it will require the alteration of a number of horribly destructive thinking patterns which crystallised in my head long, long ago.

[Waluigi]

I sometimes miss my single days, just as I sometimes miss the days before we had kids. But each new chapter of life involves leaving behind both good and bad things from the previous chapters.

I don't assume I'll ever be a single guy again (except maybe when I'm an old man), but should that day come, I'm sure I'll miss the days of being married with two little crazies running around breaking everything.

[maddog]

Single for a long time now. And the feeling of freedom from emotional abuse is STILL GLORIOUS.

#2392

[Ensign Steve]

I was talking to my brother in law yesterday about how the thing I miss the most about being single is the freedom to fuck whoever I want.

[The Man]

Part of me tells myself I'm not taking enough advantage of that right now. As in, any advantage at all. The other part of me tells myself I've never fucked people I didn't care about and there's no reason to start now. The latter part of me has been mostly winning out for the past four years, although there have been occasional halfhearted efforts in the former direction.

[Plant Woman]

Megatron, that feeling will get there, I'm sure. :hug:

Eh, maybe, maybe not. I've been single for about four years. I like the freedom, and the fact that I get lots of time to myself (those go pretty much hand in hand). But that doesn't stop me from feeling a horrible emptiness about being single. The lack of sex is one thing that's proving particularly irksome, especially since I'm not particularly inclined towards random hookups (although I'd be pretty wary of making a serious commitment too - I don't want to get hurt). That said, I guess it hasn't been irksome enough for me to go out of my way to do much other than wallow in pity about it for a couple of years. Maybe just because I've never actually gone out of my way to instigate relationships - they're not something I've ever really known how to initiate, because I'm a tremendous introvert. They've just sort of happened to me, in the past. I'm trying to learn how to fix that, but it's a huge learning process which seems as though it will require the alteration of a number of horribly destructive thinking patterns which crystallised in my head long, long ago.

I do remember feeling that way when I was younger and single. Maybe it comes with age? I don't know. Maybe I will get lonely later on, but for right now, I am enjoying my lone time. After a few decades with a lying, passive aggressive person, it's just nice to not have to deal with his crap. Now that I'm over the shock of what happened, I feel relaxed and comfortable in my own skin.

I do know that feeling, been there myself. With my own thinking patterns, I now keep asking myself, "Is it true?" when some thoughts come up. Many times it seems to be just a locked down pattern that needs me to question it. It appears to be working on some of my issues. Those self-preservation scripts just are not necessary anymore, and I am working hard on getting rid of them. I don't know if they will ever go away, but some have subsided from my acknowledging and questioning their validity in my life. At least you recognize them now, something I wasn't been able to do until this last decade.

I think Megatron is going through a hard time with his more recent break up, so I think he will get past a lot of the pain, he feels now. I know as time goes on the pain is lifting and it is getting better for me. I was right where he is now about a year ago. Others (some from here) told me this before and I had a hard time seeing it, but it is true, it gets better. And I do think it's far better to be alone then in a dysfunctional relationship.

:hug:

Good luck with the fixing part, I like to think of this as part of the journey through life. Working on self awareness and not being in denial about certain aspects of myself. We are always a work in progress, don't you think? Can be painful, but it does have its own rewards too. I don't want to end up a bitter old woman, sitting in a rocking chair, mumbling about my tale of woes, with my dog licking the drool off my chin. Ewww!

ETA: On the forum you appear to be a well thought out man, very sure of yourself and intelligent. I always enjoy reading what you have to say. You don't come across as how you view yourself at least not in the written form.

[Plant Woman]

... two little crazies running around breaking everything.

You and the wife? :giggle:

[SharonDee]

I think Megatron is going through a hard time with his more recent break up, so I think he will get past a lot of the pain, he feels now. I know as time goes on the pain is lifting and it is getting better for me. I was right where he is now about a year ago.And I think your hard time started about a year after mine did, right around the time I was finally getting over mine. I don't know what to think about that. It's just interesting to me that you're telling Megatron things will get better like I was telling you that then. Paying it forward, I guess.

And I do think it's far better to be alone then in a dysfunctional relationship. Can I get a friggin' amen?!

[Plant Woman]

Yes, I do remember you were starting to come back in and post more, and you said those words to me. Smilin' was the other one to. Hard to believe when you are going through it that it does get better. If I didn't thank you then, I thank you now.

AMEN sister! Oh wait... :laugh:

[Plant Woman]

I joined a writer's group last week that meets once a month. And today I joined a hiking group, so when the weather settles down I will be running around the hills and mountains of the Olympic Peninsula with like minded people. Another joy of being single...

Oops, I better start getting more in shape for the longer treks.