Quiz: Should you be Jehovah's Witness?

[Dingfod]

Take the quiz. (http://www.thebentinel.com/jw-quiz.php)

You are 17% Jehovah's Witness!
You have what Jehovah's Witnesses call a "rebellious spirit" and a "bad attitude". Even if you became a Witness, you would be a bad one. You'd probably talk to disfellowshipped people instead of shunning them like you're supposed to. You wouldn't blindly agree to every new teaching of the Watchtower. The only friends you would have at the Kingdom Hall would be the teenagers that think you're cool, and the other "rebels". The Kingdom Hall is not in the cards for you.

[Crumb]

Damnit Warrenly, I should have known. I got the same damn thing.

[Ensign Steve]

Oooh, I like how it gives an explanation of the answers! That's a new one on me.

BTW, I am 23% Jehovah's Witness

(and this thread begs for an entry into the Last Poster Name thread)

[LadyShea]

You are 13% Jehovah's Witness!

[Sycophant]

17%...

Whatever.

[Dingfod]

17%...

Whatever.
That score would really suck if you are JW, wouldn't it?

[godfry n. glad]

17%...

Whatever.
That score would really suck if you are JW, wouldn't it?

Depends.

Upon what the other 83% is...

and what 17% is JW.

[Dingfod]

I don't know any JWs that would score less than 80 or 90% on that test. I do know some JWs; all of my neighbors bordering on the 1760 foot south side of my property are JW, and some family friends I've known since I was 10 years old are JW (well, all but the dad).

[WinAce]

Ack! Both Jessica and I are 30% Jehovah's Witness! How could this be... :(

[Abdul Alhazred]

A whopping 43%.

But the quiz is misleading. I'm an atheist, but I don't think the Bible is "bunk" as I like ancient literature. I don't think the Iliad is bunk either.

A four door car, because I got a used one cheap.

Also I said holidays are for pagan rituals in celebration of gods no one worships anymore, but I like doing that. :cool:

Did any of you used to be one?

[godfry n. glad]

Did any of you used to be one?

A JW? Nope.

I grew up referring to them as "the witless", or "Joe's witless".

You?

[Shake]

13%. Apparently, the 4-door vehicles are OK with them.

[LiveToRide]

I registered as 13% JW, and I think I'm going to go shoot myself. I wouldn't sell a JW a cup of horse piss if they were on fire. I do speak from experience, BTW, my soon-to-be mother in law is a JW. We got along great. It took my an entire 8 hours to totally alienate her. Luckily she lives 800 miles away. Buncha freakin' WHACKOS!!!

[Dingfod]

I do not want to know how you got that cup of horse piss.

[Bullet]

What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Motorcycle
No good Jehovah's Witness drives a motorcycle. Some Jehovah's Witnesses do it anyway, but don't look for them to be leaders in the church. People on motorcycles are viewed as rebellious, and are probably not approved by God for risking their lives in this way. You'll need to get rid of your bike to fit in among Jehovah's Witnesses.

They forgot the questions about facial hair, and tattoo's. JW's men can only have a mustache, but no longer than the upper lip, and side burns no longer than 3/4 of the ear. Tattoo's? Forgettaboutit!!

[LiveToRide]

You forgot not wearing boots, and only wearing business suits.
(Are you pissed at me?)

[Bullet]

You forgot not wearing boots, and only wearing business suits.
(Are you pissed at me?)Goddamn right I'm pissed, who gave you permission to be so damn hot and sexxxy? :lecher: I'll be home around 2:00am, now go to your room and take all your clothes off. I'll deal with you then. Your in for such a spankin!! :sex: :whipping:

[Abdul Alhazred]

You forgot not wearing boots, and only wearing business suits.

Even the ones in Texas? :D

[Bullet]

A whopping 43%.



Did any of you used to be one? (Slowly raising hand, sheepishly stepping forward.) My parents raised me as one. And then I continued for a while in my adult life, but the I SEEEEN THE LIGHT!!! and got the hell outta dodge. It's all a big load of :dump:

[Dingfod]

Did any of you used to be one? (Slowly raising hand, sheepishly stepping forward.) My parents raised me as one. And then I continued for a while in my adult life, but the I SEEEEN THE LIGHT!!! and got the hell outta dodge. It's all a big load of :dump:That explains your extensive knowledge of JW's and motorcycles.

[Ymir's blood]

You forgot not wearing boots,
:deepsigh:

I just can't give my Dr. Martens...

[LiveToRide]

Always makes me giggle to think of the people that knew him then, to see him now, all geared up in his colors and chaps. Cracks me up every time!!!! :nyahnyah:

[Bullet]

Did any of you used to be one? (Slowly raising hand, sheepishly stepping forward.) My parents raised me as one. And then I continued for a while in my adult life, but the I SEEEEN THE LIGHT!!! and got the hell outta dodge. It's all a big load of :dump:That explains your extensive knowledge of JW's and motorcycles.Yup, now I am a disfellowshipped :asskick: rebel with a bad attitude. Oh well :bartmoon: I am much happier now. I'M FREE I'M FREE!!

[Dingfod]

Those vindictive fools. It's easier being raised a Baptist, whatever you do, the worst that can happen is they call you "back-slidden".

[Dragoon]

I got a 27%. I was hoping I'd do a whole lot worse. I am so ashamed. :(

How in hell can that be? The only two questions I in any way screwed up on were:
How important is it to you to have the respect of your community?
Somewhat important, I keep my lawn mowed

and

You view holidays as opportunities to:
Perform ancient pagan rituals in celebration of gods no one worships anymore

Just how depraved does a guy have to get before you get a zero on that test? If I post that grade on my front door, will they will leave me alone on Saturday mornings or do you think it's too high?

[Abdul Alhazred]

Just how depraved does a guy have to get before you get a zero on that test? If I post that grade on my front door, will they will leave me alone on Saturday mornings or do you think it's too high?

Of course it's not a Jay-dub who constructed the quiz. Likely an ex-Jay-dub.

But fiddling a bit with the quiz I got to zero by clicking the first on the list for each and every question. I doubt there is anyone like 100% this, but there might be.

[Abdul Alhazred]

OK. Too much time on my hands.

Googling a bit, I see that most ex-JW websites (I say nothing of individuals) are of Christian fundies. Heretics brought home to the real thing.

OY! :eek:

[livius drusus]

[Completely unrelated to topic at hand]That little chunk of white in the background of your av was bugging me so I made a transparent version. Feel free to tell me to leave you and your avatar the hell alone. :D [/Completely unrelated to topic at hand]

[Darren]

Totally wacked out quiz - so meaningless it was obviously a joke. :D
I only ever knew one JW and he was a really nice person. He was my driving instructor - which indicates his patience, courage and tenacity. (The car was a two door Corsa, he didn't preach at me, and only winced at my frequent "Jesus Christ!"s, "Bloody Hell!"s and "Oh my God!"s - he had a good sense of humour too).

I scored 30% - I put this relatively high score down to two of my answers - firstly that the bible was 50% inspired by God - (I meant this in the sense that, say, Mendelssohn's "Hebridean Overture" was largely inspired by his visit to and experience of Fingal's Cave) and secondly that I don't really care too much what people think of me, which the author of the quiz seems to think is a quality valued by JW's. If it is, we have that in common at least!

[Abdul Alhazred]

Livius: There was some extraneous crap in the pic when I chopped it out of a Chick Tract, and some good person at SC edited it out for me. I will not say who on this board, out of privacy concerns.

That this edit can be detected by the anointed is of no concern to me. :D

However, I have saved your improved version, and I thank you.

[Abdul Alhazred]

"You say you're a Satanist, but I was a Satanist, and buddy you're no Satanist!"

You come to the door naked to freak them out, but the Jay Dub little old lady, seeing nothing she hasn't seen before, delivers the schpiel as usual and sells you a Watchtower. :D

[livius drusus]

Are you speaking from experience, Abdul? :P

[Abdul Alhazred]

Are you speaking from experience, Abdul? :P

Purely fantasy.

[koan]

I'm 40% Jehovah's Witness. I could fit in but they will all shun me and won't want their children to play with mine. Not much different than my current life.