World cup thread

[fragment]

It's only a week away! :excited: :hyper: :eager:

:goal: :soccer: :goalie:

:worldcup: <- any chance of an updated version?

So, here's the thread, and I'm opening a competition for a wittier thread title.

Go the kiwis! :kiwibird: :newzealand:

[Adam]

Wheee! A world cup thrad!

I'm currently pretty bummed that I'm going to be out out of town for US v England.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

You guys aren't even going to get out of your group. Sorry, babe.

We'll be cheering on Germany, Australia, and the US.

[Deadlokd]

So, this is like, soccer, or something, yeah? Where you have to fall over if someone breathes on you and you get paid far too much money and have to marry pop princess stick insects.

[Stormlight]

Only if you're Australian.

[Stormlight]

Damn, I'll be in Italy for the World Cup. :scaredshiver:

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Godspeed, son.

[fragment]

Damn, I'll be in Italy for the World Cup. :scaredshiver:
:lol: I was in Italy when they won the last time. It was a blast.

[fragment]

You guys aren't even going to get out of your group. Sorry, babe.
Of course, but I'm just excited we even got there.

Not sure who else I'll be cheering for, probably some slightly underdog country that plays with some style in the first round games.

[curses]

:english:

Sorry USA, I'm a traitor.

[Watser?]

Bah, I hate orange!

[curses]

YouTube- NIKE FOOTBALL WRITE THE FUTURE - FULL LENGTH VERSION

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Awe. Some.

[Leesifer]

:english:

Sorry USA, I'm a traitor.

:chestram:

[fragment]

Not sure who else I'll be cheering for, probably some slightly underdog country that plays with some style in the first round games.
Oh, I'll also cheer for the hosts. I keep forgetting I was born there.

:southafrica:

[Watser?]

How do you forget a thing like that?

[fragment]

It's not like I remember the place, or have been there in a very long time, so I feel much more like a kiwi than anything else.

Also I spent the earlier part of my life not wanting to feel associated with a horrific racist regime, and the later part not wanting to associate myself with most of the other South African emigrants I've met here, who (with a handful of honourable exceptions) seem to have been mostly the types of whites who were happy to stay under said horrific regime while the going was good for them and then ran away once democracy happened.

[Adam]

Medium rare futbol blogging : Lawyers, Guns & Money (http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2010/06/medium-rare-futbol-blogging)

f England defeats the US the American ambassador must purchase a steak in a tony DC establishment for his Brit counterpart, leading to this bon mot from the redcoats:

Incidentally, you should know that the Ambassador takes his steak like American soccer victories – somewhat rare.

:glare:

A friend of mine notes that the response should have been that, in that case, he would find his steak resembles English national team soccer players: expensive and overrated.

:lol:

[JoeP]

Not sure who else I'll be cheering for, probably some slightly underdog country that plays with some style in the first round games.
Oh, I'll also cheer for the hosts.

:southafrica:
"Also"? SA is not reckoned likely to progress that far - despite the home crowd advantage.

I keep forgetting I was born there.

:southafrica:

You never mentioned that!

[fragment]

SA probably has more chance than the kiwis, our friendly win over Serbia notwithstanding.

Are you going to any matches, JoeP? How's the national mood over there?

[JoeP]

The national mood is pretty excited I suppose. The doom-mongers (the roads won't be finished in time, the stadiums won't be finished in time, nobody will turn up because of crime, those who do turn up will be mugged, all the public construction will stop and decay after it's over) have mostly fallen quiet. Some of the roads are finished. All of the stadiums are finished. About 350,000 visitors are expected (although that doesn't account for people who would otherwise have visited and are deferring their trips because of things being busy and inflated in price). Some visiting journalists have been robbed at gunpoint in their hotel rooms but not many and that's good.

What we have now is excitement, hype, thousands of flags all over the city - along the roads, on buildings, on cars and in offices - and vuvuzelas. Vuvuzelas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vuvuzela) ... yes well. The entire country will be profoundly deaf within 5 weeks.

[Watser?]

Oh yeah, they have been selling those here too. Orange ones of course...

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

SBS launches multilingual World Cup chant | THE TUBE (http://whatsonthetube.net/sbs-launches-multilingual-world-cup-chant/)

It was AWESOME. So was that opening ceremony!


:eager:

[ceptimus]

Footy and the Football Badgers England England England (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/footy.html)

[Deadlokd]

Bloody hell. It is a step up from "'ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go! 'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!!"

I'm waking up at 4:15 am to watch Australia thump Germany. :iloveaus:

[curses]

Footy and the Football Badgers England England England (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/footy.html)

I came to post this. The badgers might play better than England did yesterday :sadcheer:

[Leesifer]

Indeed! Bunch of overpaid, self indulgent wankers.

[Deadlokd]

So Germany has scored one third of all goals in the World Cup to date. Congratulations you pantywaist softcocks.

[godfry n. glad]

World Cup?

All I have to say is I'm not surprised. What with all the kicking the humans do, a cup might be a wise course for the World to take. I hope the World gets a good fit, particularly before the USers try another of their sly crotch kicks.

[BigBlue2]

So Germany has scored one third of all goals in the World Cup to date. Congratulations you pantywaist softcocks.

I backed the country of my birth (Germany) before the game* and I'm glad I did because what Australia served up was appalling. The only area Australia won was the foul-count. Cahill (the Aussie that got sent off - harshly, in my opinion) is an attacking midfielder, not a striker. Josh Kennedy is Australia's striker - why wasn't he playing? Germany dominated the flanks and got behind Australia's much vaunted defence almost at will. Klose and someone else missed some sitters, and thanks to the Invisible Pink Unicorn for that otherwise it would have been 6-0. The only other mistakes Germany made was copping two stupid yellow cards for diving. After Cahills send-off, Germany needed another goal to bury Australia, and got two goals in two minutes with ruthless efficiency.

Too much pace, too much mobility, too big, too strong, too skilful. Too damn good.

Correct on all counts, and it sums the game up perfectly. Australia has to somehow try and regroup and beat Ghana and Serbia to get out of this group. Good luck with that, especially with Cahill missing the next game.

Oh yeah, and so much for any of that "Germany get off to slow starts" crapola. 8-0 in 2002, 4-2 in 2006 and 4-0 in 2010. Italy, England and France sometimes get off to slow starts (the latter 2 certainly did this time), Germany does not.

* It's true - Cynical-Chick and I went to a pub, and I was the only one wearing German gear.

[Deadlokd]

Well, in Germany's defence, diving worked really well for them early in the game.

But the rest of it was true. Australia played defensively and got their asses handed to them. There was sfa attack, what little there was, was always one lone player taking a chance. Then he'd get within striking distance and have maybe two Aussie players backing him up. Germany, in the same situation, would have four or five players up in the goalies face. Crap effort Australia.

[But]

Too bad I didn't watch the game.

:woopsie:

I promise I'm going to do it now.

:circlejerk:

[livius drusus]

http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Soccer-and-oil-spills.jpg

:hoot:

[Leesifer]

I am now supporting Slovenia as I have them in the sweepstake at work.

[fragment]

Warren Ellis livetweets the game (http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=9835):

* get up you poof he only kicked you in the lung

* England apologises for fielding a goalkeeper who quite clearly took rather a lot of heroin before the match commenced.

* Ah. The England team appear to have gotten drunk during half-time.

* Jesus. That was like watching two dozen fraggles wrestling in a pit of molasses.

Whaddayaknow, twitter's good for something after all...

[JoeP]

Steven Gerrard said: "The whole team is behind Rob Green." With hindsight, that would have helped a lot.

My computer's got the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything.

Before he left for South Africa, Rob Green's mother was quite worried - "Make sure you don't catch anything!" she said.

Sorry, sorry. All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand. In fact they're crossing the line.

[fragment]

:lol:

[BigBlue2]

:goalie::worldcup: + :germany::german: = :trophy: :winner:

[curses]

Steven Gerrard said: "The whole team is behind Rob Green." With hindsight, that would have helped a lot.


Sigged.

[fragment]

Unbelievable! Last minute goal to draw against Slovakia!

:zomg::newzealand::excited::newzealand::pbjnana:

[fragment]

Unbelievable! Last minute goal to draw against Slovakia!

:zomg::newzealand::excited::newzealand::pbjnana:

eta not gonna dddp, the awesome warrants it

[JoeP]

Via EF:

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/jediball.gif

[godfry n. glad]

Hey! The Swiss beat the Spaniards! That's not usual.

[Watser?]

Did you guys hear about this: When 36 young women wearing orange mini-dresses associated with the Dutch brewers Bavaria entered the stands at South Africa's Soccer City Stadium for the Netherlands versus Denmark match, the cameras, predictably, turned towards them en masse, capturing shots that would grab the attention of picture editors worldwide.

The reaction of those in charge was swift and ruthless.

All of the mini-skirted ladies were ejected from the venue and two were arrested on charges of organising "unlawful commercial activities".BBC News - How ambush marketing ambushed sport (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8743881.stm)

Dutch govt was very upset about the arrests, or so they said, and instructed the embassy to make a formal protest.

[JoeP]

Some people have started to drink Bavaria as a result of this.

I'm thinking of printing a batch of orange T-shirts with the slogan FUCK FIFA (or its equivalent in Afrikaans/Dutch).

[godfry n. glad]

Some people have started to drink Bavaria as a result of this.

I'm thinking of printing a batch of orange T-shirts with the slogan FUCK FIFA (or its equivalent in Afrikaans/Dutch).

Buttwiper!?

The 'official beer'? That an athletic competition has an 'official beer' is...geez, I dunno...odd? American? But that it's Buttwiper is unforgivable.

Is Bavaria beer any better? I ask because Buttwiper is just another bearwhiz beer.

I liked looking at the young ladies in orange, but I didn't see any beer logos anywhere. Got any more pictures that I can comb through? :innocent:

[fragment]

MOAR ELLIS (http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=9864):

* French team: "We are so bored now that we will simply stand around and let the Mexicans score. Be SEARED by our ennui."

* French team now standing around smoking Gauloises, composing miserable poetry.

[Watser?]

Some people have started to drink Bavaria as a result of this.

I'm thinking of printing a batch of orange T-shirts with the slogan FUCK FIFA (or its equivalent in Afrikaans/Dutch).

That would be FOK FIFA in Afrikaans I think. In Dutch we don't really consider fucking to be a punishment, we usually curse people with diseases. Like 'Krijg de tering/pest/pokken/kanker/tyfus!' (Get TB/black plague/small pox/cancer/typhoid, we have an amazing array of ancient and contemporary diseases). So 'Fifa krijg de kolere!' (cholera) or something would be more appropriate.

[BigBlue2]

The rules of ambush marketing are stunningly simple and FIFA fell for them hook, line and sinker: think up a clever stunt, ideally involving attractive women; place the team in a prominent position at the target event to maximise media coverage; leak information, resulting in the stunt being exposed; stand back as the legal furore and media frenzy ramp up the publicity, all at no extra cost.

[Leesifer]

I am now supporting Slovenia as I have them in the sweepstake at work.

GOOOOOO! Slovenia

Slovenia 2-2 US.

They are now top of the group.

[beyelzu]

Only because a bullshit call.

[Leesifer]

Do I hear you shouting "REF?" bey?

:warning:

[Leesifer]

Jesus pleasus, we are playing like morans tonight.

[curses]

Seriously, England? That was just pathetic.

[fragment]

Serbia bet Germany? Wtf?

A few upsets in this tournament.

[BigBlue2]

Only because a bullshit call.
More than one in fact.

:serbia: vs :germany: = perfect storm of suckage for my country of birth.

[Leesifer]

Seriously, England? That was just pathetic.

Totally!

Looks like we'll have to change our sigs soon Curses.

[JoeP]

I am now supporting Slovenia as I have them in the sweepstake at work.

Wayne Rooney was sad because you weren't supporting England any more. Totally off his game.

[JoeP]

Meanwhile,

South African Vuvuzela Philharmonic Angered By Soccer Games Breaking Out During Concerts | The Onion - America's Finest News Source (http://www.theonion.com/articles/south-african-vuvuzela-philharmonic-angered-by-soc,17625/)

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

So FIFA apparently hate Australia.

[fragment]

Unbelievable! Pulled off a draw against Italy!

[Leesifer]

This world cup is crazy
:asterix:

[curses]

* curses gets ready to cheer on Chile and Hondouras

[curses]

Oooh, sorry Best Korea you just got your ass handed to you by Portugal. 7-0. Ouch.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

I think the North Korean players are going to be investigating Cape Town real estate.

[curses]

The French seem to have it all wrong. They're supposed to save the dramatics for the pitch, not the training ground.

BBC Sport - Football - World Cup 2010: France in turmoil after training row (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8750665.stm)

[fragment]

So France is out, bottom of their group. Nice that the hosts got to have a win, even though they won't advance. Round of 16 will have Uruguay vs. S Korea and Mexico vs. Argentina.

[California Tanker]

Most pleased to see France get knocked out, as an Irishman.

NTM

[Leesifer]

I love that they had their first class tickets cancelled and had to fly back economy. Vive la France.

[curses]

Way to go England!!!!!

Also, a very well deserved way to go Yanks!!!

[Adam]

Ingerlanders, for a while there I thought I was going to have to be very jealous of you.

Looks like we're both through, though...wheeeee!

[livius drusus]

Damn, we have kind of a not crappy team. :cheer:

[Adam]

They just like to nap during the first half, is all.

[curses]

Donovan was totally about to cry on camera though.

[Leesifer]

Yippee! US and England both through.

It's also great for me because it means we play our next match on Sunday afternoon, so I can go to my parents for a bbq and watch the game there. I'm out on Saturday night so would have missed that game had we come top.

[fragment]

England actually won a game?

I was kinda rooting for Slovenia on that one.

[Deadlokd]

Australia 2-1 over Serbia but Ghana and Germany are through.

[fragment]

Too bad, Aussies.

So that's going to be USA vs. Ghana, England vs. Germany.

Nice to see an African team make it past the first round.

[Stormlight]

:bai: Italia. :stunned:

[Adam]

Holy shit, I just saw that. Slovakia? For real?

[curses]

The last 16 is going to be insane. So far it's:
KO 1
Uruguay v South Korea

KO 2

United States v Ghana

KO 3

Germany v England

KO 4

Argentina v Mexico

[Stormlight]

Too bad the Kiwis didn't win against Paraguay. They could have made fun of Australia for the next years.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

:glare:

I was cheering for them.

Good riddance, Azurri.

[Stormlight]

:glareglomp:

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

:squeezle:

We're watching the Italians take a whipping right now. The dramatics are all over the place. :rolleyes:

[BrotherMan]

HA HA ALL YOU VUVUZELA HATERS. YOU'RE JUST LIKE HITLER!

Hitler hates the vuvuzela

[Leesifer]

The last 16 is going to be insane. So far it's:
KO 1
Uruguay v South Korea

KO 2

United States v Ghana

KO 3

Germany v England

KO 4

Argentina v Mexico

:afraid:

[fragment]

Well, I'm pretty happy with what the NZ team achieved. No losses! Well done, guys.

Think I'll be rooting for Slovakia.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Arrivederci, Azurri! I shall miss your on-field antics, your diving for a foul. Your pretty, pretty players.

[ceptimus]

:ghana: > :unitedstates:

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

:sadcheer:

[Qingdai]

GHAAAAAAAAAAHNNNAAAAAAAAHHHH!

One guy erupted from his house shouting that, so I guess Ghana won?

[ceptimus]

:germany: >>> :england:

[Clutch Munny]

On the plus side, England fans didn't have to put up with having Owen Hargreaves on the team this time around. Or, umm, his being their best player.

[livius drusus]

THE MUSSELS NEVER LIE
:psyoctopus:

[Leesifer]

Well, that was soooo much fun to watch. NOT!

[Leesifer]

Further, we deserved to lose. Played absolutely rubbish. The disallowed goal was moot in the end. Cappello puts the players in the wrong positions and should have taken Rooney off.

[curses]

Capello's head will be on a stake when they get back to England. Also GerrArd played terribly.


I am now sitting in a Mexican restaurant cheering on my last hope Mexico.

[JoeP]

Germany deserved to win and England deserved to lose. Fair result, all right.

The England team deserved to lose, that is. Not fair on all the supporters. Something must be done ... blood and sacrifices will help.

I'm now supporting Ghana. In a British sense of "support".

[JoeP]

THE MUSSELS NEVER LIE
:psyoctopus:

So, Germany's next match is against Uruguay Argentina on Friday 2nd, 20:30 Saturday 3rd, 4pm. When will Paul the Psychic Octopus make his prediction? Will there be live streaming video of the prediction event?

[BigBlue2]

So, Germany's next match is against Uruguay on Friday 2nd, 20:30. Uruguay plays Ghana, Germany plays Argentina.

[JoeP]

* JoeP looks more closely

[livius drusus]

lol noob
:psyoctopus:

[Adam]

FFS, English speaking countries, get your fucking acts together! All the other countries are going to make fun of us now!

As is my fashion, I am now supporting Ghana, so I can sat least say that we got knocked out by the world champions, but I'm thinking a Brazil/Argentina final would be fun to watch.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

English is the official language of Ghana, Cock-man. ;)

:german:!!

For tonight, :dutch:!

[Adam]

:themoreyouknow:

For whatever reason, I thought they spoke French.

[JoeP]

Apparently England have got a new coach.

It picked them up from Heathrow this afternoon.

[ITSOZAZ]

i submit these pictures of zeke i took to annoy the inlaws :)

[teasasue]

Why would those annoy the in laws?

[ITSOZAZ]

because they are italian and italy sucked it's way out of contention.

[Adam]

Holy shit, Netherlanders. Congrats!

Holy shit, Melo.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Why would those annoy the in laws?
I don't like the Italians because they foul all over the place and have taken diving to a high art.

I'm still a little stunned that Italy and France, who were in the final last time, both went ass-backwards out of the group stage.

:dutch:! Holy shit that was an awesome match. Shame we couldn't stay awake for Uruguay-Ghana.

[Deadlokd]

Well done Netherlands. I'm backing you to go all the way after that beautiful performance.

And I don't know anyone from Ghana.

[But]

:germany: >>>> :argentina:

[Dingfod]

I came here for this. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b9/Vuvuzela_single_note.ogg)

[BigBlue2]

All too easy :german:

[JoeP]

Psychic Octopus picks Germany to beat Argentina | Reuters (http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE65S3R120100629)

All hail :psyoctopus:!

Although
Paul moved cautiously and spent about 45 minutes mulling his decision before eating the food in the box with the German flag -- suggesting a hard-fought win in extra time or even penalties.
He's just messing with us, right?

Paul's next challenge: Germany-Spain on Wednesday.

[Dingfod]

All too easy :german:Nationalist.

[JoeP]

:psyoctopus: says Germany is going to lose to Spain (http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/294287) tomorrow.

Remember, you read it here first. Unless you already read it somewhere else first.

[fragment]

:dutch:

[Awareness]

This time I had faith that we would reach the final.
And I was right.
And why? Because all the other teams besides germany suck!
I hope the germans will win to finally defeat them!!
We will crush them, we will defeat them, and reign for four years!!

[Stormlight]

Go get 'em! :beneluxmafia:

[fragment]

Come on, Germany!

[Leesifer]

Come on, Spain!

[BrotherMan]

No. Too easy.

[JoeP]

Fuck Spain!

:fixed:

[Leesifer]

:unshock:

[JoeP]

Oh yes, I bet you made that face.

[JoeP]

PS Spain score!

[Leesifer]

I'm making that face again!

[JoeP]

All hail :psyoctopus:!

[fragment]

Well played by the Spaniards. After that I think I'm picking them to beat the Dutch.

[JoeP]

It's a Cup full of surprises, that's for sure.

[Leesifer]

Well played by the Spaniards. After that I think I'm picking them to beat the Dutch.

Me too!

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

:cry:

[livius drusus]

I hope those German aquarium dudes don't try to silence Paul just because Germany's out now.

[wei yau]

I read somewhere recently that Paul's been getting German death threats.

[JoeP]

Don't worry, Spain will look after him: Spain concerned about safety of Paul the Octopus superstar : NewsTime : Sport (http://www.newstime.co.za/Sport/Spain_concerned_about_safety_of_Paul_the_Octopus_superstar/7442/)

[livius drusus]

That article is fully awesome. Pulitzer material, for reals.

[JoeP]

I think you want the sarcasm thread. Down the corridor, second thread on the right.

[livius drusus]

No way mans. I was serious as a heart attack. I think that's the best article I've read all year.

[Doctor X]

No way mans. I was serious as a heart attack. I think that's the best article I've read all year.

:cryhome:

--J.D.

[livius drusus]

It's all over, Nederlanders. Might as well give up now.

YouTube- Raw Video:Octopus Predicts Spain to Win WCup

[Watser?]

Oh yeah? The parakeet says otherwais!

Meanwhile the airforce has been busy painting an F16 orange so they can welcome the boys' plane home :facepalm:

http://media.nu.nl/m/m1bz04faksbi.jpg

[Stormlight]

:giggles:

[curses]

Great. Howard Webb is the ref. Crap calls will abound, I'm sure.

GO NETHERLANDS!!!!

[livius drusus]

I beg to differ, my good man.
:psyoctopus:

[curses]

I DO WHAT I WANT, OK! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN MOLLUSK!

[livius drusus]

:hypnopaul:

[curses]

That only works on Lees.
:shakeskunk:

[curses]

As much as I am cheering on Oranj, this should have been a straight red:


http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=6801&stc=1&d=1278876895

[Watser?]

So did anybody win yet?

[JoeP]

Nobody's won, nobody's even scored a goal. Football is so exciting.

[curses]

Well they ARE managing to beat the shit out of each other.

[Doctor X]

Oh look.

A score.

Or is it?

--J.D.

[curses]

Well fuck.

[Doctor X]

All Glory to:

:hypnopaul:

--J.D.

[Stormlight]

:sadcheer:

[Watser?]

Uh oh...

Better get those sandbags up there :hide:

[Leesifer]

Sorry Watser? but :cheer:

[curses]

I just have to post the second greatest word learned from this world cup. Socctopus.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Sorry, Watser/Pan, but we were neutral up until the Oranje started playing dirty.

Woo Spain!

Müller won the Golden Boot (highest goal scorer) and Diego Forlán won the Golden Cup.

[Leesifer]

nm - stupid uploader

[Leesifer]

New England Sponsors accounced:

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/capello-sponsors.jpg

[Stormlight]

:lol:

[Doctor X]

Millan (www.millan.net) offers http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/pauloctopusanimf.gif (http://www.millan.net) but I prefer the "Hypnopussy!"



Let me rephrase that. . . .

--J.D.

[JoeP]

http://mihaita666.mysbrforum.com/photos/l/uvqpW02a.jpg

[Watser?]

http://foksuk.nl/content/formfield_files/formcartoon_7093_b6362c0f67fe9fb5beb591456027f8c71cc7b20c.gif

Fokke & Sukke are witnessing a robust but exciting celebration party.

"Here's Mayor Van der Laan coming on stage."
"And Ow! He's kicked in the face by De Jong!!!

[JoeP]

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/randy-vegas-40.jpg

[Stormlight]

:lol: