Sphincter bleaching - is it for you?

[Legs]

I am going to have to tape my compact to the end of a stick so I check mine :chin:

HEARD of sphincter bleaching? Beauticians are billing it as the new Brazilian wax.

"In the last couple of months I've had a lot of requests, so I've started some experiments," says Sydney beautician Anna Marsiano from The Bees' Knees salon.

"I've got one client who's a divorced woman with a couple of kids. She was looking at a Playboy magazine with her new boyfriend and he was making some comments about how clean and light the women looked. My client started to get a little paranoid."

Marsiano says she uses a herbal brand popular in the Philippines as a facial whitener. It is applied to the dark pigmentation around women's rectums as well as to their vaginal areas. Marsiano says the product does not damage the skin and has "rejuvenating" properties.

But another Sydney beautician, asked about her anal lightening equipment, produces a completely different product altogether. It's a cream that clearly states it is designed to be used on hair. This beautician has treated sex workers and strippers for years, but says mainstream demand has risen sharply over the past six months. She acknowledges that her long-term clients (many of whom come in for treatments every six weeks) suffer serious skin problems. "I explain that it will give them eczema and so on, but they want it anyway," she says.

Hard-line feminists will no doubt respond with an outraged "What will the misogynist patriarchy do to us next?" (possibly staging some sort of "reclaim the date" march). The cosmetic entrepreneurs, meanwhile, are bound to capitalise on the controversy by selling DIY backdoor bleaching kits (possibly along the lines of the personalised mouth moulds provided for teeth whitening).

Backdoor Bleaching (http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,12629346%5E12274,00.html)

[Crumb]

ew.

[livius drusus]

Anal eczema? I'm pretty sure that was one of the punishments in a really low circle of Dante's inferno. :yuck:

[cappuccino]

:eek:

Bleaching their backdoors? Well I've seen pictures of various people's backdoors...they look uhh pinkish...a few were darkly pigmented but really...why is bleaching your backdoor going to make yourself attractive? I gather most guys aren't in the habit to checking out their girlfriends or wives' anuses to see if they're "light". I'd say it's definitely another case of beauty going krazy.

[justaman]

I think a bit of anal bleaching is the least a gal should be doing to spiff herself up a little and show her man she cares about her presentation.

Frankly, with the amount of bad things which go on in an average pair of female underwear, the more that can be done to mask the horror, the better.

http://www.poetryconnection.net/poets/Jonathan_Swift/8032

[Dingfod]

I wonder why latinrjal isn't participating in this thread?

[Beth]

What total bs! I'd like to see some guy bleach his balls or his penis and risk skin infection. I understand wanting to look pretty and desirable, but this goes way beyond the par! I can better understand a sex worker doing it, but and every day woman?

[MooseIBe]

imagine how icky it must be for the person doing the procedure too!!

Now I am paranoid. I am going to have to get out a mirror and check whether I need this done or not. But not in the middle of the living room :D

[Gurdur]

I wonder why latinrjal isn't participating in this thread?
Because an overall total bleach would be life-threatening ?

[viscousmemories]

I'd like to see some guy bleach his balls or his penis [...]
Owww! Sadist. :P

[Shake]

She acknowledges that her long-term clients (many of whom come in for treatments every six weeks) suffer serious skin problems. "I explain that it will give them eczema and so on, but they want it anyway," she says.
:shudder: My son has eczema and it can evidently be pretty bothersome. I can't imagine having a constant nasty itching down there! :shudder:

[Sweetie]

Who was it that sang?....

that'll be the day,
when I die

that'll be the day
when you say good-bye

:D


Is it for me? Lol, guess not.

Now bathing, being neat, tidy, clean and healthy, of course! Bleaching my ass, that's nutz!

*saunters off singing*:

That'll be the day......do-whoop....wo-hooo.......oh that'll be the day......do-whoop......wo-hooo........ :D

[Crumb]

That would be Buddy Holly. :cheerful: A man who without a doubt had an unbleached sphincter. :yup: :chin: :giggle:

[Shake]

That would be Buddy Holly. :cheerful: A man who without a doubt had an unbleached sphincter. :yup: :chin: :giggle:

I'm not sure I want to know how or why you came to that assertion. Though if I had to guess, I'd agree.

[Dingfod]

YouTube - Randolph Mantooth - LumiTaint

[curses]

:lol: Nice thread revivification, ding!

[lisarea]

I used to know this lady whose sister used to be married to Randolph Mantooth or something like that.

[cappuccino]

I am sure the ass mannequin feels clean and light now.

[Legs]

:stunned:

[Doctor X]

Bleach an asshole, it is still an asshole.

See Garafolo and Coulter. . . .

--J.D.

[Tanda]

I'm waiting for hot pink pubes to be "in". :hyper:

I'm only as high-maintenance as my time allows and my time does not allow much. :rockingbaby:

[Ymir's blood]

This thread is the number 3 Google result for 'sphincter bleaching.'

Post more so we can be number 2!

[Legs]

How embarrassing :blush:

[Tanda]

How embarrassing :blush:

:giggle: Cute.

[Smilin]

So is your avatar, Tanda....

:smile:

[Tanda]

Thanks!

I took Joe out for his birthday. Went to his favorite bar over here and bought a mini-fridge to keep by his bed in the hospital room. Won't tell you what's in it. :duff:

:giggle:

[Smilin]

Lemme guess...

a bleached sphinter? :D :lmao:

[Tanda]

Lemme guess...

a bleached sphinter? :D :lmao:

Maybe. But I wouldn't drink it. :wink:

[The Lone Ranger]

Oh my gosh! Johnny Gage talking about sphincter bleaching!

I can't decide if that's really funny or really frightening. ...

http://greg.halpin.com/emergenc.gif

[Doctor X]

Indeed, we wish to end up.







"End up."






Is this mic on?

--J.D.

[Tanda]

Is this mic on?

--J.D.

I'm sorry. Did you say something? :listen:

[Doctor X]

http://skepticalcommunity.com/phpbb2/images/smiles/meanie1.gif

--J.D.

[Dingfod]

http://www.coolaprons.com/humor25.jpg

[Legs]

please, please let this thread die for another 3 years
:praying:

[Kyuss Apollo]

"It really needs to penetrate in there"

:laughdie:

[1Samuel8]

please, please let this thread die for another 3 years:praying: Oh, lighten up! Will you!?!

[Dingfod]

"lighten up" I get it. Hahaha.

[Tanda]

*snicker

I thought he was serious...

:shrug:

[Legs]

:brooding:

[Tanda]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/happypanda/leggsy.gif

[biochemgirl]

What? Did you say something? Speak up. I can't hear you over the blinding whiteness of your sphincter.

[Legs]

:noid: I was in my 30's when I started this thread.

(okay, barely in my 40's)

[Ymir's blood]

Oh please. you are not that old.

[Dingfod]

She is now and this thread is making her older by the day.

[Legs]

too damn wrinkly for bleaching
:oldlady:

[Doctor X]

Well, it will match the hair.

--J.D.

[mindbender]

I just had the most horrid thought. I wonder if Michael Jackson's asshole matches the rest of him or not.

[Doctor X]

You really need to know whether or not it is his original asshole. . . .

--J.D.

[Sock Puppet]

Oh, great. This was a perfectly innocent thread about sphincter bleaching, and now I can't read it without thinking about Michael Jackson's asshole. :shudder:

[lisarea]

Pause for a moment and reflect on this very thoughtfully.

You can actually cause the consumer to forget something he has previously learned by putting into his head a newer and stronger concept.

(In case you are stupid, this is a hilarious cultural reference about tricking people into thinking about Michael Jackson's private areas.)

[Legs]

I may have to put my own thread on ignore :chin:

[Dingfod]

I smell a conspirac ... no, that's not what it is, it's a sphincter.

[Dingfod]

I may have to put my own thread on ignore :chin:Sweet. I've done that.

[Smilin]

I may have to put my own thread on ignore :chin:Sweet. I've done that.


The "You're a Thread killing sumbitch" one? :giggle:

[Dingfod]

:yup:

[1Samuel8]

Sweet. I've done that. That is what she said.

[Smilin]

This is the new thread that won't die then, eh?

[Dingfod]

:facepalm:

[Doctor X]

Threads with "sphincter" and "bleaching" simply cannot die.

--J.D.

[Qingdai]

...they just fade away.....

[Legs]

:laugh:

[Doctor X]

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/coffeescreen.gif (http://www.millan.net)

. . . though the scent lingers. . . .

--J.D.

[Kael]

Wow, more than three years... now that's some good thread necromancy.

Also: Ewwww...

[Garnet]

:damn:

:runaway:

[Legs]

but Eeyore looks so ready for it.

[Garnet]

:glare:

[Doctor X]

I guess you would not want his ass cheerier than his face.

--J.D.

[Wonderbread Leotard]

Ridiculous.

Brown eyes are supposed to be brown. Pink eye is a disease, last time I checked. :)

[Legs]

:brooding:

[Doctor X]

Did it make your brown eye blue?

--J.D.

[Smilin]

:giggle:

[Ymir's blood]

I think I'm a little late to the party here, but I come bearing gifts.

http://www.sexyspotmall.com/images_products/vigala_anal_bleaching_cream.jpg
Out out damn spot...

no, sorry wrong play. I meant, "The lady doth protest too much."

[Legs]

:stunned:

[Ymir's blood]

Don't even act shocked. You set it up this way. :P

[Legs]

:brooding:

[livius drusus]

I think this is now the thread equivalent of the posable two-skulled skeleton Ymir's blood sent you for Secret Santa lo these many years ago, Legsy. :giggle:

[Legs]

It's the thread that keeps on giving.

[Doctor X]

"Use only as directed."

--J.D.

[Doctor X]

You cannot silence . . . FREEDOM!!!!

Freedom for Legs to bleach!!

--J.D.

[Smilin]

Just posting here because I haven't posted to this thread in over a month...

[Crumb]

And when's the last time you bleached your sphincter?

[Smilin]

Never have bleached it, but I did wash it in the shower this morning.

[Crumb]

But how did you dry it?

[Smilin]

on an ass towel which I promptly put in the clothes hamper....

I wash all my towels after every use.

[Dingfod]

I wash my towel once a week or so. I'm not dirty after I shower, so neither is the towel.

[Smilin]

I also soap up and wash my hands after washing my ass crack out....so it's all good.

[Doctor X]

Try not to shit on your towel. . . .

--J.D.

[Ensign Steve]

http://www.foundmagazine.com/images/finds/full/buttholebleaching.jpg

[Dingfod]

Hopefully picking up Joey after school is after the sphincter bleaching.

[Ymir's blood]

What if they offer a package deal for the whole family?

[Doctor X]

So they would be . . . what?

A family of white assholes?

--J.D.

[tyciol]

Possible advantage to a bleached anus: easier to see shit on it. It's like how you can see dirt easier on a white shirt than a brown shirt. It's pretty sensible if you ask me.

This isn't patriarchy if men also do it. But everyone's first priority should be to wax off all the hair, that's not just camouflage: it's handles.

'Rejuvenate' is a term that gets thrown around too easily. There's a difference between making something look young and making it's physical properties youthful. This is as badly abused as 'anti-aging'.

[Flying Buttress]

I only read the first few posts, so likely my sentiments have already been expressed.

Coloration of my ano-genital region: I think I'll put that in 7662nd place on my list of things to worry about.

[Ensign Steve]

I bet it would move up to at least 3rd if it turned green.

[Flying Buttress]

Nah. I'd just start washing my hands in between eating creamed spinach and pleasuring myself.

EWW! I can't believe I said that. Sheesh, no wonder I can't get horny.

[Ensign Steve]

I will never look at your avatar the same way again.

[Sock Puppet]

This isn't patriarchy if men also do it.
:lolwut:

[Smilin]

It's the thread that keeps on giving.

yes...it's quickly becoming an internet phenomena....

[Doctor X]

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u264/DoctorX_photos/Sphincter.jpg

--J.D.

[Dingfod]

Sphincter bleaching, it's not just for whitey (http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/AllWoman/html/20090809T200000-0500_157155_OBS_ANAL_BLEACHING___AN_OPTION_FOR_WOMEN_OF_COLOUR.asp).

[TheCat]

This thread has brightened up my





















Birthday!



You thought I was going to say sphincter, didn't you?:chuckle:

[Legs]

Happy Birthday :happysun:

[Qingdai]

Oh look, a new product!

My New Pink Button (http://www.mynewpinkbutton.com/)

When bleaching goes too far!

[godfry n. glad]

Oh look, a new product!

My New Pink Button (http://www.mynewpinkbutton.com/)

When bleaching goes too far!

Okaaaaay...

The colors are: Marilyn, Betty, Ginger, & Audrey.

Um...I'm not sure I know how to match those to one of 256's.

[livius drusus]

Sweet Jesus Christ in heaven.

This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!

:stunned:

[Qingdai]

WTF is a "paramedical esthetician"? That doesn't sound made up at all.
:unnope:

[Ymir's blood]

“Where do I put it exactly”?:chin:

[livius drusus]

WTF is a "paramedical esthetician"? That doesn't sound made up at all.
:unnope:

My theory is she did Brazilian waxes. In Italy all my waxers referred to themselves as estheticians. Add the up-and-close-and-personal labial experience of a Brazilian and there's your paramedical bit.

[godfry n. glad]

WTF is a "paramedical esthetician"? That doesn't sound made up at all.
:unnope:

Paratrooper face-peelers? They can provide a manicure in a medical situation? Probably the people who can have you all buffed and a new layer of fingernail polish and lip gloss, DURING your ambulance trip. But....will they be willing to provide you clean underwear on the way to emergency treatment?

Given the reported difficulty of seeing the area to which this 'coloring' is to be applied, will it require estheticians? If so, can I apply?

[Gonzo]

You're all a bunch of assholes.

[godfry n. glad]

You're all a bunch of assholes.


Nope...that's the next hole up the valley.

[Dingfod]

YouTube- Music video-Denis Leary-I'm An Asshole

[Dingfod]

Florida Governor Charlie Crist checking out the beached sphincter to make sure the oil hasn't hit the anus.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0134846deee5970c-600wi

[erimir]

What you don't know is that he's evaluating her fashion choice, not her ass.

[Dingfod]

I can't believe I didn't get any more thanks for that post.