What are you Guilty/Not Guilty of? [Archive]

SharonDee

11-10-2010, 04:37 PM

So I was over at another site chastising someone for peeking ahead to the end of a book to see how it ends. She does it for every book she reads, too! That chaps my hide, I tell you what!

Of course, she thinks it's no big deal and waves me off.

On the other hand, I am guilty of breaking spaghetti noodles into halves (and quarters!) before cooking them. That, in turn, makes others' heads spend round like a record player, baby, right round.

And I am absolutely unapologetic about it too, bitches!

What about you?

(Adam, I know you're all about stealing copyrighted stuff with nary a sleepless night. So what else you got?)

viscousmemories

11-10-2010, 04:44 PM

Huh, I don't think of reading the end first as 'cheating' as much as spoiling the journey.

I'm sure I'm guilty of many things but nothing springs to mind.

mulebear

11-10-2010, 05:48 PM

That, in turn, makes others' heads spend round like a record player, baby, right round.

I'm guilty of correcting others word usage.

:runsies:

Sock Puppet

11-10-2010, 06:11 PM

I'm sure I'm guilty of many things but nothing springs to mind.Wow, that expunging thing worked out quicker than I expected!

teasasue

11-10-2010, 06:22 PM

On the other hand, I am guilty of breaking spaghetti noodles into halves (and quarters!) before cooking them. That, in turn, makes others' heads spend round like a record player, baby, right round.

I thought you were supposed to break the spaghetti noodles.

livius drusus

11-10-2010, 06:52 PM

NO YOU ARE NOT. :regan: Long pasta is long on purpose. If you were supposed to break it into little creepy bits, it would be made that way ahead of time, just like the million varieties of short pasta are.

Just to hurt Sharon like she hurt me, I will gleefully cop to reading the last few pages of every book as well. It doesn't spoil anything for me. On the contrary, it relieves the high anticipatory tension that I have a hard time coping with just enough to make the rest of of the journey entirely enjoyable. Not only am I unrepentant about this practice, I'll up the ante and say that I particularly like doing this with mysteries. They're my favorite books to read the end of first. HA!

Adam

11-10-2010, 06:52 PM

I am shamed, for I didn't know it was wrong to break spaghetti noodles. How else are you supposed to fit them in the pan?

You're gonna need a bigger pan.
:royscheider:

livius drusus

11-10-2010, 06:57 PM

Pan?! Sancta Maria mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus. You use a deep pot to cook spaghetti, Adem. You might have seen them in, oh, I don't know, every single cookware set in existence. They look like Abe Lincoln's hat.

Ensign Steve

11-10-2010, 06:57 PM

You use a really tall pot.

Also, I'm not guilty of anything.

Adam

11-10-2010, 07:02 PM

Yah, I don't have one of your high falutin' big city "cookware sets". I have, like, a couple of old saucepans my dear old gramma gave me, a frying pan, and a wok. I think the SO does have one of those Abe Lincolny things, but I don't think it's big enough to get spaghetti into without breaking it first. Are you just supposed to sort of stand it on end and let the top sink into the water as the bottom softens or something?

Pinecone

11-10-2010, 07:02 PM

I nuke the potatoes for a few minutes before I dice and fry them to save time. Also I sometimes grab the empty trash can when I drive in and hang it out the window driving up to the garage. I also break the spaghetti.

livius drusus

11-10-2010, 07:12 PM

Yah, I don't have one of your high falutin' big city "cookware sets". I have, like, a couple of old saucepans my dear old gramma gave me, a frying pan, and a wok.
I didn't have a cookware set for a long time either, which is why I purchased a tall pot for a buck fiddy at a yard sale.

I think the SO does have one of those Abe Lincolny things, but I don't think it's big enough to get spaghetti into without breaking it first. Are you just supposed to sort of stand it on end and let the top sink into the water as the bottom softens or something?

Yup. The strands lose rigidity almost immediately. You just plant them vertically in the middle of the pot, let go, and stir in a few seconds. It makes no difference whatsoever to the cooking time.

Adam

11-10-2010, 07:16 PM

That makes sense. I will likely continue to unapologetically (and hurtfully) break my spaghetti noodles in half, though, because I actually like the shorter noodles. Also, I don't want to be eating from one side of my spaghetti plate, and then it turns out that a dog is eating from the other side and we have opposite ends of the same noodle and then our faces end up next to each other and we eat toward the middle and then I end up having to kiss a dog.

erimir

11-10-2010, 07:16 PM

I don't normally jump to the ends of books. Unless it's one that I'm not sure I want to finish (to see whether I'm wasting my time), or is an assignment (to ensure I at least know how it ends should I not finish it in time).

But I do admit to reading spoilers of a TV show online b/c I was watching it on Netflix, and I couldn't stop watching episodes due to the cliffhangers.

My Italian cousin showed me how to do the spaghetti. You have your handful of the long noodles, you put them in the middle of the pot, and then you let them go with a flick of the wrist. The twisting causes them splay out beautifully around the pot, rather than all being like a log or something.

SharonDee

11-10-2010, 07:33 PM

... I particularly like doing this with mysteries. They're my favorite books to read the end of first. HA!:explode:

lisarea

11-10-2010, 07:54 PM

I mentally 'correct' people's 'grammar,' even though I know it is neither correct nor grammar.

I usually only do it out loud when someone is being a prescriptivist or when there are some other lulz to be had from it, though.

mulebear

11-10-2010, 08:30 PM

I'm guilty of cat slamming.

This is the art of conducting a surprise attack on our kitty by suddenly picking her up, holding her high in the air, and then doing a super slow motion (a la action flick movie) body slam onto the daybed in the office. This is done with various action movie noises (i. e. woosh, arrrrgh, ka-pow) and then while she is lying belly up on the bed... I tickle her tummy.

Her response?

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h95/mulebear/Personal/DSC_0076.jpg

Crumb

11-10-2010, 08:34 PM

I'm guilty of laughing at you all! :muahaha:

viscousmemories

11-10-2010, 08:54 PM

I'm sure I'm guilty of many things but nothing springs to mind.Wow, that expunging thing worked out quicker than I expected!

Imagine my surprise! I came rollin' in to this thread ready to confess to multiple felonies and discovered we're talking about page hopping and spaghetti snapping.

Janet

11-11-2010, 12:48 AM

I don't care if you are the boss here, Liv, I will never stop breaking my long, thin pasta. My Sicilian mother always does it and her mother did it before her and if it's good enough for them, no one is going to talk me out of it. If I want my pasta long I buy fettuccine nests so it's not an issue.

livius drusus

11-11-2010, 12:56 AM

Your :airquote:Sicilian:airquote: mother is some kind of MONSTRUOUS CHIMERA OCTOROON RENEGADE. Your whole maternal line is now officially out of the club. :xp:

Qingdai

11-11-2010, 01:07 AM

OMG! Who died and left you queen of everything??

livius drusus

11-11-2010, 01:09 AM

Not of everything. Just of certain clearly delineated areas that I will inform you of should you cross the boundaries.

Ymir's blood

11-11-2010, 01:27 AM

Ok, I thought I was the only one who broke their spaghetti before cooking. I suppose I should feel less special for knowing that. However, in the future, breaking the spaghetti will make me feel even more special, for a reason which should be obvious.

I am not guilty of any of this:
7089

viscousmemories

11-11-2010, 01:35 AM

I used to break my spaghetti before I met liv, now I cook it correctly.

I don't use a stovepipe pan though, just a regular pan with a strainer lid, ala:

http://iweb.cooking.com/images/products/enlarge/186192e.jpg
Circulon Classic Pasta Pot with Locking Colander Lid 5 qt. at Cooking.com (http://www.cooking.com/products/shprodde.asp?sku=186192)

Ymir's blood

11-11-2010, 01:38 AM

You know what would be really cool? Putting the sauce on the plate first, with the noodles on top... and eating it with a spoon.

Janet

11-11-2010, 01:50 AM

Gee, Liv, didn't anyone ever teach you that it's unwise to insult a Sicilian? Expect a visit from my grandfather's banana knife, possibly wielded by my cousin, Sammy the Brick. :mafioso:

mulebear

11-11-2010, 02:58 AM

You don't have to break up fresh pasta to get it into the pan. Tastes better too.

Just sayin'

"I'll give you my Imperia SP150 Pasta Machine when you take it from my cold, dead hands!"

chunksmediocrites

11-11-2010, 03:12 AM

Guilty: peeing in the shower.
Not guilty: I don't ever call somebody and say, "Who's this?"

Dingfod

11-11-2010, 03:27 AM

Guilty: Peeing in the shower.
Not guilty: Peeing on the toilet seat.

Guilty: Mumbling while sorting the silverware and utensil drawers and restacking the dishes in an orderly fashion.
Not guilty: Leaving food out on the kitchen counter for hours like some people I know.

Gonzo

11-11-2010, 04:06 AM

I shot the sheriff.

I'm guilty that I didn't shoot the deputy.

Anastasia Beaverhausen

11-11-2010, 05:31 AM

Guilty: Making the boy vacuum
Not guilty: Not wiping down counters/stove when cleaning :glare:

Qingdai

11-11-2010, 05:54 AM

Guilty of watching over chunks shoulder when he's giggling at :ff:

ITSOZAZ

11-11-2010, 06:42 AM

drug possession.

Stormlight

11-11-2010, 09:10 AM

I am shamed, for I didn't know it was wrong to break spaghetti noodles. How else are you supposed to fit them in the pan?

Sometimes you guys just make me want to curl up in a corner and weep. Weep until I finally die.

Chris Porter

11-11-2010, 11:31 AM

Deadlokd

11-11-2010, 11:58 AM

I'm guilty of hating people who call them spaghetti noodles. I wasn't aware that there was a huge Italo-Nippon culinary movement in the US.

Noodles:

http://blog.ibj.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/noodles.jpg

Spaghetti:

http://images.free-extras.com/pics/s/spaghetti_and_cheese-842.jpg

Spaghetti noodles:

http://cdn2.dailybooth.com/pictures/large/2df65d8dbd7788b4495a3eed3af53a97_1456193.jpg

Not guilty of actually doing anything with my hate.

Ronin

11-11-2010, 02:18 PM

irukandji

11-11-2010, 02:39 PM

guilty of over-thanking this thrad (sue me!)

along the lines of hanging the garbage cans
out the window.....

i allowed my middle school-aged kids to stand
on the running boards of the expedition with
the garbages cans in THEIR hands while i drove
laps in the circular driveway
pre-adolescent boys have such shrill shrieks!:eek:

hmmmm.....trying to figure out a not guilty....

PS... if you break the spaghetti into bits and pieces, then how
will it stick to the cupboard door when testing for doneness?

fawk!! is that another guilty?

Ronin

11-11-2010, 02:49 PM

I am guilty of actually yelling at cords and cables while outright accusing them of conspiring against me by getting all tangled up in the most bizarre ways that would be virtually fucking impossible to fucking replicate if intentionally trying to fucking do so and at exactly a time when I fucking need them to "really, really just be cool and cooperate just this once, you fucking bastard!"

I am not guilty of not fake throwing the ball just to watch the new puppy I'm fostering run halfway across the yard before he realizes he's just been punked...because that's just funny.

"Yeah, it's not there...who me...I don't know where it is...nope, haven't seen it...try looking again...that's it...oh, look it finally landed."

Repeat three seconds later.

http://www.meowboxen.net/images/awesome_puppy.jpg

Pinecone

11-11-2010, 04:20 PM

I nuke the potatoes for a few minutes before I dice and fry them to save time.

:shock:

Why not just buy a big bag o' frosty frozen processed potato-food squares at the Wal-Mart and nukrowave it to save even more time and get right to summoning the Apocalypse?

Dear Lord, we're a heartless and lost generation!

:rant:

OMG!!

Look at how you are jaded to the harmony of Mother Earth and Monkeyman Technology!!

One takes Mother Earths organic little potatoes and nukes them with Moneymans microwave which uses a few less carbon atoms as opposed to using the coal fired Monkeymans oven range for much longer and thus slowing the total distruction of the planet. Then one takes Mother cows butter and combines it with Potato Mom in Monkeymans no stick skillet without burning because the potato is softened. This lessening of burning butter slows the process of rotting Monkeymans skin and arteries so that I'll live long enough to watch the slower death of Mother Earth by the technology of Monkeyman and his burning of Mothers coal! It's a harmony! A dance! It leaves more time to stare out longingly at the flowers and butterflies that will soon be gone in the floods and winds and dust bowls of our coming future. It's not just heartless - it's insane!
Pttth. It's not just potatos, I'm in a dance of death with my planet and my technology, terrified the music will end. It's not just Wallyworld vs the Tigers. It's the option on my toaster oven that should have a 'solar power' button and a 'coal power' button. I could more easily decide whether the current planets life forms live or die!! Red wire? - Blue wire?

Ronin

11-11-2010, 04:34 PM

http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/gallery/files/3/3/house_face.jpg

Adam

11-11-2010, 04:42 PM

I am guilty of having to use the Googles to find the air date of the star tracks episode where the alien race speaks in metaphor.

BrotherMan

11-11-2010, 05:20 PM

Adam, on the internet.

BrotherMan, his eyes ashamed.

Stormlight

11-11-2010, 05:47 PM

:rofl:

Gonzo

11-11-2010, 08:00 PM

I agree with Pinecone. It's pretty nice outside today. Must enjoy it before snow/ Monkeyman Apocalypse.

Janet

11-11-2010, 10:49 PM

My brother used to work for a company named after that episode. Geeks.

livius drusus

11-11-2010, 10:58 PM

Darmok Inc., for all your arms-wide, face-wet, sails-unfurled needs.

erimir

11-12-2010, 03:03 AM

What's the point of long spaghetti anyway? I'm just going to cut it up smaller and eat it.WRONG!
I hate twiddling it round the fork tines on [...] a spoon.ALSO WRONG!

I am guilty of preferring American pizza to Italian pizza.

Lauri D

11-15-2010, 08:14 PM

Dear lord, why did I click on this thread? I thought of my "page-hopping and spaghetti-snapping" habits as vm calls them, to be so utterly normally that I never bothered adding them to the mental list of things to wake up in the middle of the night and feel guilty and self-loathing about.

I am mostly guilty of harboring malice towards people who conduct their lives as though the entire universe revolves around them, but not having the cajones to call them out on it. Then guilty of the constructing of elaborate scenarios in my head wherein they receive their comeuppance.

I am not guilty of any felonies. Technically.

Further to the skipping to the end of the book issue, I also sort of like finding out spoilers about movies and tv shows and will actually seek them out. It never seems to ruin it for me.

SharonDee

11-16-2010, 01:30 AM

I am mostly guilty of harboring malice towards people who conduct their lives as though the entire universe revolves around them, but not having the cajones to call them out on it.I'm right here! :glare:

Brimshack

11-21-2010, 06:20 AM

I'm guilty of:

Throwing my cats. on a bed or the couch. Fido used to run back to me afterwords. Junky would just sit on the bed and wait for me to pet her. She had an expression that seemed to suggest it was the least that I owed her. Burpy didn't like it so I stopped, and Auto was too skittish to begin with. The 2 Siamese though were frequent flyers.

I don't hold my hands right when I type.

I'm pretty sure that I hold chop sticks wrong.

Some would say that I am guilty of multiple spelling and grammatical errors, but I think they are rong about that.

I used to skateboard with the wrong foot totally in front.

I once took an axe to three of my neighbors and chopped them to pieces which I then fed through a wood chipper and spread around the neighborhood park. I feel especially guilty about this, because I think a local dog choked on one of the bones.

I often eat Orios without the filling. If its good enough for Nigel Tufnel, then it's good enough for me.

When painting D&D miniatures I use dry brushing techniques for just about everything. ...and I'm not even sorry about that.

I don't break up the spaghetti when I cook it, but I do put crushed red peppers all over it when I eat most any kind of pasta.

Deadlokd

11-21-2010, 01:33 PM

You spelled Oreos wrong. :glare: That's about the most heinous thing I have ever read.

Adam

11-22-2010, 05:46 PM

No, no, he misspelled "orioles".

livius drusus

11-22-2010, 05:50 PM

Oh stewardess! I speak Brimshack. He misspelled areolas.

Kyuss Apollo

11-23-2010, 04:32 AM

gUILTY: Drinking maple syrup, straight out of the bottle.
Also, eating the last ______________. (you name it, I ate the last one)
Also, putting the ______________ back in the fridge with two drops left. (again, fill-in the blank with any refrigerated liquid you thought you were going to use)
nOT gUILTY: Leaving my GODDAMNED MOTHERFING SHOES RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FRONT DOORWAY.