I Finally Tried One of Those Japanese Heated, Ass-Washing Toilets

[livius drusus]

It was at my favorite sushi restaurant on Christmas Eve. They must have recently installed them because this is the first time I've seen them there or anywhere else. At first I was skeered and was just going to do my dirty, sinful business, use the TP and gtfo, but then I was like "I can't brag about having tried one of these terlets unless I push all the buttons" and so by gum I did.

The washing features offered were a frontal pee area stream, a targeted to the butt wash and a soft butt wash. I tried them all, you know, for science! (Thank you, Kael.) Then I pushed the warm dry button which emits a warm wave of air that dries everything you just wet all at once.

It was kind of awesome. Like kind of a lot awesome. After I left the restroom I felt like I'd gotten away with something. This is the exact model I experienced (http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/WashletS400.aspx). I know this because there was copious noting of that fact on various stall surfaces.

[Deadlokd]

Count and I tried those in Japan a couple of years back. My first experience sent me flying across the bathroom cradling my newly-soaked privates. I went back though. I couldn't shake the feeling that it really wasn't cleaning that well. Not to TP standards anyway.

We got English versions of the local papers on the JAL plane and funnily enough the page three story was about the energy crisis in Japan. The number one culprit? Electric butt-washing toilets.

[livius drusus]

Damn, the streams weren't anywhere near strong enough to send me flying across the bathroom. I didn't really test the cleansing power, though, because I only went number one and that's easy to hose off.

[Fencesitter]

Did you try the massage feature? The ad says there's a massage feature.

What does it massage? Or shouldn't I ask.

:toiletdance:



(I really wanted to use the 'dump' smilie, but I just couldn't make it work.)

[livius drusus]

I pushed all the buttons (you know, for science!), including a couple that claimed to change the water jet from steady to pulsating and oscillating, but I don't recall an actual massage button. The pulsating and oscillating water didn't really pulsate and oscillate, from what I could tell. They just sort of spluttered.

[mulebear]

Due to this thread and her love of beet pooping, livius drusus shall hence forth be known as...

BUTT BLASTER!

[livius drusus]

Stop trying to make fetch happen, mulebear. :patpat:

[Gonzo]

Woo
You might not ever get rich
But let me tell ya it's better that diggin' a ditch.
There ain't no tellin' who ya might meet. .
A movie star or may be even an Indian Chief.

(Workin' at the) ass wash.
Workin' at the ass wash yeah !
Come on and sing it with me ass wash.
Get with the feelin' y'all ass wash yeah.

Come summer the work gets kind a hard
This ain't no place to be if ya planned on being a star.
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if ya act a fool.

At the ass wash
Talkin' about the ass wash yeah!
Come on and sing it for me ass wash.
ass wash yeah!

(Work and work) Well those asses never seem to stop comin'.
(Work and work) Keep those rags and machines hummin'
(Work and work) my fingers to the bone
(Work) at five I can't wait 'til it's time to go home
Hey
get your ass washed today.
Fill up and you don't have to pay.
Come on and give us a play.
Get a wash right away.

Ass wash talkin' about the ass wash yeah!
Woo ass wash

Those asses never seem to stop comin'
Well
I say
Keep those rags and machines hummin'

:whistle:

So what'd you order?

[irukandji]

no shit.... as in i am not kidding,
i married into a family that uses
"toto" when encouraging a pet
to take their business outside,
no streaming water involved...
well, used water but still....

wonder if there would be a rip
in the fabric of the universe if
we installed a toto S400....

[Ensign Steve]

dirty, sinful business

:frysees:

[vremya]

The spec sheet says it has a massage feature - what, exactly, gets massaged, I wonder?

[Gonzo]

:sadcheer: Why would anyone put Fencesitter on ignore? So mean.

[mulebear]

Stop trying to make fetch happen, mulebear. :patpat:


Was the backwash purple?

I rest my case. :robothrust:

[vremya]

:sadcheer: Why would anyone put Fencesitter on ignore? So mean.

:oops: It was early, I was on my first cup of coffee. The cats did it.

[mulebear]

:sadcheer: Why would anyone put Fencesitter on ignore? So mean.

:oops: It was early, I was on my first cup of coffee. The cats did it.

I totally believe you. :ecat::vcat::icat::lcat: