High Stakes Preschool

[livius drusus]

A Manhattan mother is suing her 4-year-old's former preschool (http://www.dnainfo.com/20110314/upper-east-side/mom-sues-preschool-for-not-preparing-daughter-for-kindergarten-ivy-league) for failing to prepare her daughter for the kindergarten entrance exam.

The school touts itself on its website as a feeder for Dalton, Chapin, Spence and other top schools. But according to the lawsuit, instead of test prep, the Imprescia's daughter was "dumped with 2 year olds" during her "most important year for a pre-schooler" and taught about shapes and colors.

"Indeed, the school proved not to be a school at all, but just one big playroom," Imprescia charges in court papers. She is seeking class action status for the suit.

The mom also hints that this set back in her daughter’s education has derailed chances of getting into an Ivy League school down the road.

I know I wasted my days coloring and napping at my preschool and LOOK WHAT'S BECOME OF ME.

Seriously, this strikes me as a signifier of some very scary trends in childhood education. The fact that there are cut-throat kindergartens parents pressure kids to make the grade for or risk future devastation isn't news to me, but this story really brought it home for me, what with the Ivy League thing.

Now, I'm not saying the mother doesn't have a case. We don't know the details. Perhaps the preschool should have reimbursed her given that she withdrew her daughter after a month. If there was some sort of fraudulent promise of rigorous study that the school failed to fulfill, then fair enough.

It's just troubling to think of the kind of ulcers these kids are going to be developing along with fine motor skills and the ability to use a toilet.

[Qingdai]

Oy. I wish for more of the nap/playroom, both for myself and my son.

"Nicole is not one of these crazy Manhattan moms," said her lawyer, Mathew Palouse. "She just wants what’s best for her daughter. They were not living up to what was promised."

Nope, not crazy at all, also $19,000 for pre-school?

[LadyShea]

The whole pre-planned future thing scares the shit out of me...it's like there's an army of Stepfords out there. I have tennis shoes older than 4 years, that is a brand new person, and you are starting college plans?

What if the kid doesn't have the aptitude, or fucking interest, in your Things to Do This Lifetime checklist?

[LadyShea]

Oy. I wish for more of the nap/playroom, both for myself and my son.

"Nicole is not one of these crazy Manhattan moms," said her lawyer, Mathew Palouse. "She just wants what’s best for her daughter. They were not living up to what was promised."

Nope, not crazy at all, also $19,000 for pre-school?

Yeah, because that's how much it costs to get into one of the gold plated and dipped in chocolate Kindergartens.

[Ari]

It's such a scam. They convince people that the only way your child will be successful is to get into an ivy league school and the only way to do that is to be in an ivy league high school which requires an Ivy league elementary school, etc. But what is there really to show for it? I bet you can find many Ivy preschoolers in the same damn cubical pushing the same buttons as everyone else.

I know a lot of smart people who work for top companies, many went to MIT and have masters or doctorates. I don't think a single one has credited their success to Ivy League Pre-school. One friend does credit some success with going to a 'computer nerd highschool' which among other things structured lessons more like playtime.

[LadyShea]

There are some Platinum plated high schools, tech and math magnets mostly, but they are in places like New Jersey and admittance is based on performance and aptitude, not on the list of schools you attended.

[livius drusus]

What are these kindergarten admission tests anyway? How do you test 4-year-olds for their academic aptitude?

[LadyShea]

lol, crazy ain't it? Some schools call them "readiness" tests, like they are doing a big favor and helping everyone out. The super-selective Manhattan private schools don't play that bullshit though, they just call it what it is.

In Manhattan, Preparing for Kindergarten Admission Test - NYTimes.com (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/21/nyregion/21testprep.html)

Private schools warn that they will look negatively on children they suspect of being prepped for the tests they use to select students, like the Educational Records Bureau exam, or E.R.B., even though parents and admissions officers say it quietly takes place. (Bright Kids, for example, also offers E.R.B. tutoring.)

“It’s unethical,” said Dr. Elisabeth Krents, director of admissions at the Dalton School on the Upper East Side. “It completely negates the reason for giving the test, which is to provide a snapshot of their aptitudes, and it doesn’t correlate with their future success in school.”

[livius drusus]

Oh for Chrissakes, what is the point? Just throw all the applicants' names in one of those lotto rolling machines and pick them bingo style.

[LadyShea]

It goes both ways too. Some of our schools have a public Pre-K program, but it is really limited, so they test the applicants. Supposedly only the LOWEST scores get in (they would not actually state that this is the case to me when I asked about it) because the idea is that all the kids should be in roughly the same place when they start K, and that is because K is way more academic then it used to be. I don't think thats a good thing.

Apparently there were 10 times more applicants than open spots in my area this year. Mostly because it's free day care, I am pretty sure. Anyway, I know of parents who coached their kids to bomb on the test.

[erimir]

There are some Platinum plated high schools, tech and math magnets mostly, but they are in places like New Jersey North Carolina and admittance is based on performance and aptitude, not on the list of schools you attended being awesome like Chuck or erimir.

But more seriously, there are such things as feeder schools though, where a significant portion of the student body gets accepted or goes to a particular college.

NCSSM can be considered a feeder school for UNC (Chapel Hill) and NC State, for example.

So the high school can make some level of difference, I think.

[ChuckF]

What are these kindergarten admission tests anyway? How do you test 4-year-olds for their academic aptitude?
Gom jabbar.

[Vivisectus]

^^^Excellent idea. And on the other end of the age-spectrum we should chase all people over 65 up a tree and then shake it vigorously. If they don;t fall out, they are good for another year.

[Adam]

Nope, not crazy at all, also $19,000 for pre-school?

This is why it's class warfare when we small folk suggest that $250,000/year might classify someone as "wealthy". We aren't taking into account the many reasonable and necessary expenditures, such as $19,000/year preschools, that we lucky duckies don't have to worry about.

[curses]

It's such a scam. They convince people that the only way your child will be successful is to get into an ivy league school and the only way to do that is to be in an ivy league high school which requires an Ivy league elementary school, etc. But what is there really to show for it? I bet you can find many Ivy preschoolers in the same damn cubical pushing the same buttons as everyone else.
We have an Ivy League graduate teaching at Art Institute.

[Ymir's blood]

From the Ivy League to the Kudzu League!

[Qingdai]

Bunch of pesty vines! Who needs them!

[Ymir's blood]

Guy Lombardo?

[Qingdai]

:confused:

I doubt the teachers at these schools are making that much money.

Sounds like if you were really seriously into education and not all about connecting to the right people a few people could chip in on a pre-school teacher and have really individualized attention for your little darling.

http://www.alleducationschools.com/education-careers/early-childhood-education/early-childhood-education-salary

[Ymir's blood]

:confused:Something I picked up as a child from Yellow Submarine.

Chief Meanie: Ah, the hills are alive...
Max: [sings] ... with the sound of music!
Chief Meanie: [Punches Max] Who did it? Who is responsible for this?
Max: Rimsky-Korsakov?
[Chief Meanie shoots him, Blue Menial #3 stomps him into ground]
Max: [Poking his head up from ground] Guy Lombardo?

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Anyone else hope the kid grows up to be a mass comm major at the community college?

[livius drusus]

Postin' just to stop AB's long username from stretching out the index. :brooding:

[#Bob's_your-uncle36914]

Postin' just to stop AB's long username from stretching out the index. :brooding:

Why is that a problem? :?

[livius drusus]

Sorry, smartass, doesn't work until the timestamp switches to date format.

[BrotherMan]

:nelson:

[#Bob's_your-uncle36914]

What date format are you using? by username (03-13-11 06:03 AM) is about as long as by username (Today 08:11 PM)

[#Bob's_your-uncle36914]

In a completely unrelated matter, can I change my name to "Francesco Antonio José de Lorenzana y Buitrón"?

[livius drusus]

What date format are you using? by username (03-13-11 06:03 AM) is about as long as by username (Today 08:11 PM)

I was talking about Forum index, not new posts. The index writes the date out.

[#Bob's_your-uncle36914]

That is from the forum index. New posts, and the forum-display page, have the date/time and username on separate lines. Like so:
Today 09:13 PM
by Watser?

[livius drusus]

Sigh... I don't now why I'm wasting my time, but this is what I'm talking about:

[#Bob's_your-uncle36914]

Sigh... I don't now why I'm wasting my time

My elegant user name compels you, clearly.

[Ensign Steve]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2hssp7zU1qz5tgbo1_500.jpg

[Adam]

Extra :lol: for the Deepak Chopra quote.

[Qingdai]

:lol: I tend not to like "name brands" so I find that even funnier.

I'm pretty sure Kaylyn isn't a "name brand" either.

[livius drusus]

Somebody's boning all of the Keebler elves while hubbie's off manipulating financial markets (and his junk).

[LadyShea]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2hssp7zU1qz5tgbo1_500.jpg


LOL< is there any place that has been blogged or discussed that you know of?

[Ensign Steve]

I found it on reddit and there is a comment thread (http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/g8hxy/worst_parents_ever/). There are some teenaged lolbertarians to tune out, but the top-rated comment made my day:

"Dude, Kaylyn is going to get way better diabetes than Becky's kid."

Edit: Looks like it got there through White Whine (http://whitewhine.com/post/3963514538) which is an awesome play on words and I can't believe I didn't come up with it myself.

[Crumb]

My place of business tells me that White Whine is a den of immorality not suited for the eyes of honorable men. You should be ashamed Ensign Steve! :offended:

[Ensign Steve]

Your place of business is right. The whole first page is nothing but people bitching about how the tsunami ruined their sushi availability.

[LadyShea]

Please to explain why everyone is mentioning use of COMIC SANS as if that's the funniest part of the email. What am I missing?

[Sock Puppet]

That people are stupid?

[Ensign Steve]

Please to explain why everyone is mentioning use of COMIC SANS as if that's the funniest part of the email. What am I missing?

I think one could argue that Comic Sans is "less than the best" when it comes to fonts. If you're going to be a stuck-up bitch you should use a classy font like Papyrus.

[Qingdai]

Also Slate has some article about pushy preschools. I'm just going to say I hate No child left behind one more time.

http://www.slate.com/id/2288402/

[JoeP]

I'm pretty sure Kaylyn isn't a "name brand" either.

Not yet, but she will be enrolled in summer camps to focus the kids on building their personal brands. I'm sure Deepak Chopra will play a part.

[Nullifidian]

Edit: Looks like it got there through White Whine (http://whitewhine.com/post/3963514538) which is an awesome play on words and I can't believe I didn't come up with it myself.

This will be the ultimate nightmare from hell parent for all of Kaylyn's teachers. "Um I noticed that you use No. 2 pencils, we teach Kaylyn that she is Number 1 and her pencils should reflect that."

:rofl: