Attractiveness and sexual performance

[Crumb]

Is it just me or does our culture tend to conflate sexual attractiveness with skill at sexual performance? This subject was touched on in at least two threads recently, and I thought it deserved a thread of its own.

In my experience and (mostly) the experiences of others that I have talked with it is often the most attractive women who are the most boring and unenthusiastic in the bedroom. (I'll let the women chime in on whether there is a similar trend with guys.) I see it so often represented in the popular culture as if sex with a 'HAWT' woman is always going to be better than sex with someone who may look a little plain or have smaller boobs. (The Horror!) Well tell me what you think?

:popcorn:

[LadyShea]

I haven't found any correlation either way. Some great looking guys are also great in bed, some aren't. Same with average looking looking guys.

Maybe the misconception comes from the desire/arousal one feels. Certainly we are hardwired to become sexually aroused when looking at an attractive (subjective) member of our preferred gender. I know that I have seen guys that for whatever reason made me say "oh man I want to fuck him". I have no idea if they are or are not great in bed at that point, but the heightened desire may make the experience better even if the actual performance is so-so.

[Beth]

I dunno, my husband calls me a freak, so I suppose I'm not too boring. But, I do not have the experience to tell you whether or not an attractive person is more or less enthusiastic in bed. I think my husband is rather hot, and I'm not finding him lacking, if we can ever find a time alone that one of us is not asleep, that is.

[BracesForImpact]

Like many men, I'm very visually stimulated. So an attractive woman will heighten a sexual experience or make me want to have sex more often. It only takes you so far, however. Even a hawt chic gets boring if she's inhibited and uncreative in bed.

I think half the battle is acting like you're the hottest woman in the world. A woman sure of herself and overtly sexual, even if it's just an act, scores big points.

That's right, don't be scared babay... :pimpin:

[godfry n. glad]

I'm in agreement with both LadyShea and, being male, with B4I.

It seems to me that those who come closer to the prevailing social norms for sexual attractiveness are less cooperative and less participatory...perhaps because they've always been hit on and have plenty from which to choose. Whereas, those who have some perceived lack in meeting those norms (crooked nose, small breasts, chubby, lackluster hair, excessive cosmetic sensitivity...you name it) are all too aware of it and feel they need to work harder at attracting potential mates. In my experience, the latter have tended to be more intelligent, have more realistic expectations of life and the relationship, be more sociable and a lot more comfortable and fun to be with.

However, my experience is based upon a relatively small sample.

[justaman]

All my female friends all seem to agree that really attractive males are the worst in bed, which I think is probably just a way of excusing them not being with really attractive males all the time :P

To be completely honest I haven't noticed much of a difference between girls performances, because as a guy, I need to be controlling the situation in order to get off. If the chick takes more control, it's mostly for her own benefit. I mean the whole mechanics of the thing is really geared towards men being the more active performers generically speaking. Good sex for me is usually more of an emotional thing than anything physical that the girl is actually doing.

Basically, one would think more attractive males would be the better performers on the whole because they're probably more likely to have more experience. More attractive females are likely to heighten the experience because the guy is that much more impressed that he's fucking her. That's all pretty broad-brushed, though.

[Sweetie]

All my female friends all seem to agree that really attractive males are the worst in bed, which I think is probably just a way of excusing them not being with really attractive males all the time :P

Dare I quote Shanai Twain? Would I be shot, lol, 'cause she's country:

Okay, so you're Brad Pitt
That don't impress me much
So you got the looks but have you got the touch
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night
That don't impress me much

"That Don't Impress Me" Shanai Twain



It's men who are primarily obsessed with looks. I don't feel lesser if the guy I'm dating is not particularily fantastic looking, I don't need good looks to validate whatever it is I would need to validate or prove by having a great looking guy on my arm. You suggest that your friends need an excuse not to be dating an attractive guy which is weird:

"is probably just a way of excusing them not being with really attractive males all the time"


You may need outside validation, I like to stand on my own two feet.

[justaman]

You suggest that your friends need an excuse not to be dating an attractive guy which is weird:

"is probably just a way of excusing them not being with really attractive males all the time"


You may need outside validation, I like to stand on my own two feet.
Well you wouldn't even KNOW given your one whole sexual partner so you've got nothing, kid :D

And validation has got nothing to do with anything, I think you're on the wrong platform, mon cheri.

[Petra]

/me pretends to be a man and tell a man joke about his ex-girlfriend ...





-----I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.



I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that `magic`.



Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"



She just giggled and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge!!!



"Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!"



She laughed and told me to stop being so silly!

She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute!



"Anyway, I've put on a few pounds myself!" she giggled...................
































So I told her to fuck off.

[Petra]

:giggle:


Sorry, could'nt help myself.

[koan]

It doesn't seem to matter whether I wear a little black dress or army pants and a muscle shirt. I get the same amount of attention: too much. I spend a lot of time trying to scare away all the boring fucks (you can take that literally) but they just keep finding me. (I was going to say coming) I'm not that hot. I don't get it. Maybe I should start trying to be attractive and they would all go away.

All I want is one really interesting guy and I would prefer him to be interesting looking, definately not a GQ cover model.

[justaman]

I heard the elephant man was pretty interesting to look at.

[Crumb]

I heard the elephant man was pretty interesting to look at.
I heard the same about the kangaroo man.

[Sweetie]

Well you wouldn't even KNOW given your one whole sexual partner so you've got nothing, kid :D

LOL, right 'cause I've never been desperate enough to get into the attempts with men that weren't good enough.

And validation has got nothing to do with anything, I think you're on the wrong platform, mon cheri.

Well, Mr. Macho who thinks we all need to hear how original that it is that he needs to "drive the action." :D

Of course he may be missing the point that a woman who knows you well enough or is good enough in bed can take over the steering and do a damned good job which I think is the point of being considered "good in bed." But then, I don't know anything, I haven't fucked a handful of guys so that means my twelve years of experience is worthless, right? And even if I had, there are some men out there who wouldn't have increased my experience at all but I wouldn't be pointing fingers at any arrogant fucks to determine what kinda guy I might be speaking of.

But then I may quote the Twain again:

"I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart
but you've got being right down to an art
you think you're a genius you drive me up the wall
you're a regular original, know it all"

[justaman]

I heard the same about the kangaroo man.
:shakefist:

[justaman]

LOL, right 'cause I've never been desperate enough to get into the attempts with men that weren't good enough.
No, chowderhead, I'm saying you've only been with one dude so you can't even say whether or not you know if hot justaman type dudes are better than mediocre Crumb-like dudes.

Well, Mr. Macho who thinks we all need to hear how original that it is that he needs to "drive the action." :D
:madrazz:

Of course he may be missing the point that a woman who knows you well enough or is good enough in bed can take over the steering and do a damned good job which I think is the point of being considered "good in bed." But then, I don't know anything, I haven't fucked a handful of guys so that means my twelve years of experience is worthless, right?
That's right. I take it you can see your own way out? :cough:
And even if I had, there are some men out there who wouldn't have increased my experience at all but I wouldn't be pointing fingers at any arrogant fucks to determine what kinda guy I might be speaking of.
Well good. I wouldn't know who you could possibly point at anyway. :innocent:

"I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart
but you've got being right down to an art
you think you're a genius you drive me up the wall
you're a regular original, know it all"
Frankly this is all from a girl who wants to be kept warm in the middle of the night. If she can't simply invest in a doona I don't think her opinion has much relevance here anyway.

[Sweetie]

No, chowderhead, I'm saying you've only been with one dude so you can't even say whether or not you know if hot justaman type dudes are better than mediocre Crumb-like dudes.

I got your point Darin, as stupid as you would like me to be, I oftentimes am not.

My point is that I have had other sexual episodes with other men that did not escalate to actual sex because I wouldn't allow it, these men were not good at foreplay so therefore one can assume that they would not be good in bed either.




That's right. I take it you can see your own way out? :cough:





Frankly this is all from a girl who wants to be kept warm in the middle of the night. If she can't simply invest in a doona I don't think her opinion has much relevance here anyway.

She's popular, she's been around the block a few times, she's beautiful and she and I know what we want and it's not some arrogant asshole who thinks he's a genius, who's like Brad Pitt which is to counter the idea that women need an excuse not to be with a good looking guy all the time.

Women obviously then, do not put as much stock in looks as do men or they only care that they find their man attractive whether he is attractive to others or not, though I think alot of men would like to have a woman they could show off and which their friends consider attractive as well, a social status thing. It's not the same with women oftentimes, at least, for a certainty, it's not that way with me.

I mean, I remember you claiming all sorts of things about both of your ex-girlfriends and quite frankly, you're very pretentious and I hope it's as empty as it sounds to be that way and to put that much stock in things that are meaningless like looks most of the time.

[Crumb]

if hot justaman type dudes are better than mediocre Crumb-like dudes.
Objection your honor: leading the witness!

[justaman]

I got your point Darin, as stupid as you would like me to be, I oftentimes am not.
Could you dumb that down a shade?

My point is that I have had other sexual episodes with other men that did not escalate to actual sex because I wouldn't allow it, these men were not good at foreplay so therefore one can assume that they would not be good in bed either.
Depending on the extent of the foreplay, I think that's probably a bit of a leap.

She's popular, she's been around the block a few times, she's beautiful and she and I know what we want and it's not some arrogant asshole who thinks he's a genius, who's like Brad Pitt which is to counter the idea that women need an excuse not to be with a good looking guy all the time.
Yes, because every generic observation I make is directed specifically at YOU. :glare:

Women obviously then, do not put as much stock in looks as do men.
Which is a bunch of hooey. I would not say all women care about looks any more than I would say all men care about looks. From my estimation the ratio of those who care seem to be fairly even.

I mean, I remember you claiming all sorts of things about both of your ex-girlfriends and quite frankly, you're very pretentious and I hope it's as empty as it sounds to be that way and to put that much stock in things that are meaningless like looks most of the time.
Pretentious? Mio?

I don't know what you're so upset about. Looks are generally an important factor in sexual attraction. The link to sexual prowess is a little more tenuous, but I'd suggest it isn't completely without warrant.

[Sweetie]

Depending on the exten of the foreplay, I think that's probably a bit of a leap.

What do you consider foreplay? :chin: Foreplay is sex without the actual physical interaction of genitals, or at least, that's what I call it. So technically I've only been with one man, technically not I've been with a couple.


Yes, because every generic observation I make is directly specifically at YOU. :glare:

It doensn't have to be directed at me, the generic observation happened to SUCK and it didn't speak well of how you consider your friends.


Which is a bunch of hooey. I would not say all women care about looks any more than I would say all men care about looks. From my estimation the ratio of those who care seem to be fairly even.

I'm going to have to disagree I'm just not sure what I can bring to the table on that regard because it's so subjective.



I don't know what you're so upset about. Looks are generally an important factor in sexual attraction. The link to sexual prowess is a little more tenuous, but I'd suggest it isn't completely without warrant.

Just some memories, anyhoo.

Looks are to a point, but what type of looks is one of my questions. Attractive to you or attractive to everybody else and you?



I so love this line by Jewel:

You look at me but you're not quite sure, am I pretty could you get more?

[justaman]

I suppose now would be the time to mention that you state that you could never nor would never date a girl that was overweight?

See what I LOVE about this sentiment is that it's almost like I'm being told that I OWE it to overweight girls to go out with them. Why do I need to find overweight girls attractive?

Nup, wouldn't date an overweight girl. I also wouldn't date a man. Am I too judgemental? Or does it just happen to be up to me to decide whether or not I want to go out with someone?

And what does this have to do with anything anyway for chrissakes?

[Sweetie]

*vanished*

[justaman]

Eh. Let the fatties see, I don't care. I'm sure they don't either.

[Sweetie]

Man, you just don't know women at all. :doh:

[slimshady2357]

Women obviously then, do not put as much stock in looks as do men or they only care that they find their man attractive whether he is attractive to others or not, though I think alot of men would like to have a woman they could show off and which their friends consider attractive as well, a social status thing. It's not the same with women oftentimes, at least, for a certainty, it's not that way with me.

It's also not the same with men oftentimes. I think you're waaaaay off base here. I'm sure there are some men who want trophy wives/gfs but they are by far in the minority. There are also women who want trophy husbands/bfs, so what?

Men may be more focused on looks, but for most of them it isn't so their friends can look at their partner :rolleye1: It's because they are attracted to good looking women.

Sheesh, you might as well also conclude that women are attracted to men with a good sense of humour because they want to show off his incredible wit to all their friends.

Adam

[Dragar]

Nup, wouldn't date an overweight girl. I also wouldn't date a man. Am I too judgemental? Or does it just happen to be up to me to decide whether or not I want to go out with someone?

Whether or not you want to go out with someone...really isn't under your control. I can't even make myself want to want to go out with some girls!

[Soubrette]

Nup, wouldn't date an overweight girl. I also wouldn't date a man. Am I too judgemental? Or does it just happen to be up to me to decide whether or not I want to go out with someone?

And what does this have to do with anything anyway for chrissakes?

It's just interesting :P

What would you do if you married a slim sex kitten who turned into a curvy earth mother?

What would you do if there was a girl you really really liked as a person - everything else was great but she was overweight?

I have no problems with people who are not attracted to fat people - heck I'm a bit prejudiced against short guys,skinny guys and guys who imo have unsexy voices but I'd never say I wouldn't date one of them - there just wouldn't be that initial attraction but it could grow in time depending on what they are like. That bit's the weird bit to me and I like to investigate the weird :)

Sou

[godfry n. glad]

Women obviously then, do not put as much stock in looks as do men or they only care that they find their man attractive whether he is attractive to others or not, though I think alot of men would like to have a woman they could show off and which their friends consider attractive as well, a social status thing. It's not the same with women oftentimes, at least, for a certainty, it's not that way with me.

This is absolute road apples.

I've heard this old saw about men caring more about attractiveness than women from women all my life. It's one of the biggest loads of propagandistic bullshit around. Women are just as fickle about looks and actually more likely to take into consideration what their date looks like to others than are men. I've found women to be far more discerning, and demanding, about looks than any heterosexual male I've ever known. Women are just as shallow as men when it comes to sexual attractiveness. Plus, I have never heard a man brag about how much his paramour earns, or how many and how expensive the gifts his paramour gives him....like I have with all too many young women.

[BracesForImpact]

Women are just as fickle about looks and actually more likely to take into consideration what their date looks like to others than are men.

Is this why they're always trying to dress us and buy us clothes? :popeyes:

[Dingfod]

I once worked with a guy that was ugly as a mud fence, was skinny as a rail, had a face that looked like it caught fire and someone put it out with an icepick, jug ears, a receding chin, and a great big crooked and red pimply nose. Yet, he had chicks all over him at the local watering hole. It wasn't like they knew he was a good lay or something, the women that knew him avoided his fraudulent ass, these chicks that flocked to him didn't know him from Adam. Wanna know why I think they flocked to him? Because ever week he cashed his entire paycheck in $1, $5, and $10 denominations, rolled up the bills like Jed Clampett, and flashed that roll as often as possible. "This round's on me.", he flashes bankroll, "Can I buy you and your friends a drink?", he flashes bankroll, etc. Yep, this guy who lived in his mother's garage apartment, drove a POS Camaro, ugly as hell, was a chick magnet. I've never been able to figure that one out.

[godfry n. glad]

Women are just as fickle about looks and actually more likely to take into consideration what their date looks like to others than are men.

Is this why they're always trying to dress us and buy us clothes? :popeyes:

Yes. At minimum, they will tell you what you can and cannot wear to an event where you will be in their company.

[Sweetie]

Is this why they're always trying to dress us and buy us clothes? :popeyes:

LOL, I was going to say that was a really good response because it's true however, on thinking on it some more I wonder if a question of making the most out of what your man has is the same thing as choosing a man because he's got the best one can possibly get and I don't necessarily think they equal.

[Sweetie]

This is absolute road apples.

I've heard this old saw about men caring more about attractiveness than women from women all my life. It's one of the biggest loads of propagandistic bullshit around.

Who shot John?

[godfry n. glad]

This is absolute road apples.

I've heard this old saw about men caring more about attractiveness than women from women all my life. It's one of the biggest loads of propagandistic bullshit around.

Who shot John?

Too cryptic for me. Explain yourself.

[Sweetie]

Anyways Godfry, in context this is what was said and what was meant.

Assertion:

My friends say that attractive men aren't good in bed.

I think that's just an excuse for them not having attractive men on their arm all the time.

Counter:

Women don't need an excuse not to have an attractive man on their arm because physical beauty isn't necessarily as important to women as men or if it's important it's secondary or third.

What if the woman in question does find the man on her arm attractive, but you don't think he is an attractive man, does she still need an excuse?

What gain is it to have a hot guy or a mediocre guy on your arm? Boasting rights?

[Sweetie]

Too cryptic for me. Explain yourself.

Who shot John is when people degenerate into he said she said and there's no proof either way, just subjective opinions.

[BracesForImpact]

Women don't need an excuse not to have an attractive man on their arm because physical beauty isn't necessarily as important to women as men or if it's important it's secondary or third.

Poppycock. You need to paint with a broader brush!

[godfry n. glad]

Women don't need an excuse not to have an attractive man on their arm because physical beauty isn't necessarily as important to women as men or if it's important it's secondary or third.

Poppycock. You need to paint with a broader brush!

Oh, it's worse than that... It's a pile of horseshit so large that Warren would try to bag and sell it.

Bring in the frontloader!

[Soubrette]

Some of the blokes on this thread are pulling my leg right?

They seem to be (rightly) indignant about the generalisations made about men and they counteract with a load of generalisations about women, like I said - pulling my leg :popcorn:

There is some evidence out there that women look for security in a man and men look for attractiveness - I referenced this for Sweetie on another thread but I'll restate here in a bit more detail. More women are likely to state that they want a partner with a good job, a professional etc compared to men who are more likely to state that they want an attractive or younger partner. A study was done by Dunbar using singles ads showing this. Here's an interesting link to a BBC article about it men and women - advertising for love (http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/articles/emotions/lonelyhearts.shtml)

So it's not just a case of just giving personal opinions on this one - there's interesting evidence out there if you're prepared to challenge your own prejudices - is it conclusive though? I don't think so - for example Here's (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3312377.stm) another link showing that as women become more financially independent - the number of them marrying younger men is increasing. Dunbar's study wouldn't really predict this although I was told of a study (no name unfortunately :fuming: ) where higher earning women supposedly demand that their potential partners actually earn more than them - fits with Dunbar but not with the second bbc report.

And out of interest - what do you blokes think of the lists of preferences shown? Sweetie is correct - attractiveness for a bloke comes in at number one and for a women I think at number 3 or 4 :yup: :P

Sou

[Crumb]

More women are likely to state that they want a partner with a good job, a professional etc compared to men who are more likely to state that they want an attractive or younger partner.
I don't know if any of the men on this thread are arguing that women don't say that they are looking for these things over attractiveness, the argument is over whether they actually are.

[Soubrette]

I don't know if any of the men on this thread are arguing that women don't say that they are looking for these things over attractiveness, the argument is over whether they actually are.

That is a good point Crumb :) and is of course one of the flaws in Dunbar's study - it's what people say they are looking for in a partner, not perhaps what they actually are looking for.

Nevertheless, Dunbar did not get these figures from a questionnaire - there is thus no, or at least reduced societal pressure on what people ought to be looking for in a partner, plus the ads are anonymous - again reducing the idea of people saying what they think is the PC things to be looking for in a partner. Plus people are paying good money to get some dates out of these things - why wouldn't they be at least consciously honest in what they want from a potential partner? Men have no problems specifying that they want attractive women and women have no problems specifying that non professionals need not apply - does it not seem strange then to assume that women would be too coy to say that they wanted someone attractive as well?

So really you're left with the argument that either women are paying good money to get the wrong kind of men as dates or that unconsciously women want attractive partners over the other attributes mentioned. Neither really fly with me.

Sou

[Soubrette]

I hope Liv forgives me for doing two posts in a row ;) but I was googling away looking for a study that was mentioned to me a while ago (and finding no evidence of it :fuming: ) when I found this article Mating strategies of young women: role of physical attractiveness (http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_1_41/ai_114593248/pg_1)

Here are some interesting quotes from it - but the whole thing is a good read although even more off topic than I am :P)

Both men and women express marked preference for an attractive partner in a noncommitted short-term (casual, one night stand) relationship (Buss & Schmitt, 1993). For committed long-term relationships, females appear to be willing to relax their demand for a partner's attractiveness, especially for males with high social status or good financial prospects (for a review see Buss, 1999). Males also look for various personality qualities (kindness, understanding, good parental skills) in their search for long-term mating partners, but unlike females, they assign disproportionately greater importance to attractiveness compared to other personal qualities (Buss, 1999).

And on page 4

One of the essential conditions for human mate selection is that both males and females should know what mate attributes are sought by the other sex. If males seek attractive mates then females must be aware of such preference and share the knowledge about what morphological features males find attractive. There is ample evidence for consensus between the sexes for female facial attractiveness (Cunningham et al., 1995) as well as for attractive female bodies as defined by the size of WHR (Furnham, Tan, & McManus, 1997; Henss, 1995; Singh, 1993b). Such shared knowledge allows a female to evaluate her potential competitors, to assess her own attractiveness relative to theirs, and in many instances to use deceptions (e.g., corsets, padded bras, facial makeup) to enhance her attractiveness to males.

Sou

[dwedeking]

When I was young and single, Hawt chicks were the type I looked for. Now that I'm married I find silence REEEAALLLYYYY sexy in women :D

My point being that what we find attractive in our youth may not be our primary attraction as we age, our priorities change. My experience has been that younger people tend to let their bodies be attracted by physical appearences. As we get older our priorities (sp?) tend to delve into the deeper more hidden attributes (humor, trustworthiness etc).

[ceptimus]

It seems to me that many women have an irrational attraction to men who are unthinking selfish assholes.

I considered becoming an unthinking selfish asshole, so that I could get more dates, but my morals wouldn't allow it.

Damn morals. :doh:

[JoeP]

I hope Liv forgives me for doing two posts in a row ;) but I was googling away looking for a study that was mentioned to me a while ago (and finding no evidence of it :fuming: ) when I found this article Mating strategies of young women: role of physical attractiveness (http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_1_41/ai_114593248/pg_1)

...

Sou
Here's scary: I linked to this article and the ad served up above it was, I seriously hope, random:

[Soubrette]

When I was young and single, Hawt chicks were the type I looked for. Now that I'm married I find silence REEEAALLLYYYY sexy in women :D

My point being that what we find attractive in our youth may not be our primary attraction as we age, our priorities change. My experience has been that younger people tend to let their bodies be attracted by physical appearences. As we get older our priorities (sp?) tend to delve into the deeper more hidden attributes (humor, trustworthiness etc).

Hey dwedeking :) Evolutionary psychology has an explanation for this too, and again not a lovely one :fuming:

As we get older and our attractiveness reduces we are forced to lower our standards - men (unless they are very rich) simply won't attract the nubile nineteen year old anymore and women won't be able to get the high status earners after peak fertility has passed.

We look for other things because it's all we can get :(

Dunbar looked at ages of advertisers and found that as they got older the less "demands" they placed for their potential partners - the effect was more pronounced with women than men.

It seems to me that many women have an irrational attraction to men who are unthinking selfish assholes.

I considered becoming an unthinking selfish asshole, so that I could get more dates, but my morals wouldn't allow it.

Damn morals. :doh:

Hey cept :wave:

I believe that all things being equal, someone just changing one characteristic and becoming an unthinking selfish asshole, would not attract the women. I do not believe that unthinking selfish assholeness is in itself an attractive feature BUT it is may be linked to other characteristics that some women do find attractive such as risk taking or confidence.

A shy unthinking selfish asshole is imo less likely to get the women than a shy thoughtful guy but the chances for both are pretty low.

BTW - I have one word to say on your morals......and you know what it is :fuming: :D

Sou

[justaman]

What would you do if you married a slim sex kitten who turned into a curvy earth mother?
I'd ditch her instantly.

Man this wasn't the question I was asked when I said "hell no". This is quite different, and frankly I wouldn't have a clue because I'm not really the long-term type to begin with, which makes it a bit hypothetical.

What would you do if there was a girl you really really liked as a person - everything else was great but she was overweight?
Then we'd be great friends. I value friends more than girlfriends anyway.

I have no problems with people who are not attracted to fat people - heck I'm a bit prejudiced against short guys,skinny guys and guys who imo have unsexy voices but I'd never say I wouldn't date one of them - there just wouldn't be that initial attraction but it could grow in time depending on what they are like. That bit's the weird bit to me and I like to investigate the weird :)
I know what you're getting at and I'm not generally so black-and-white. I can only speak for myself here and the reason is basically that I'm so picky to begin with when it comes to girlfriends. If i don't find someone attractive I'm not going to want to go out with them, because hell, even if I DO find them attractive a lot of the time I don't want to go out with them. Doesn't mean I don't wanna be friends, though. ;)

[pescifish]

Yep, this guy who lived in his mother's garage apartment, drove a POS Camaro, ugly as hell, was a chick magnet. I've never been able to figure that one out.Maybe he was good in bed? :wink:

[Sweetie]

I'm trying to stay on topic I just don't see how.

As far as attractiveness is concerned, I always found this to be apt as far as the way I see it:

"She [He] ain't pretty she just looks that way." - Northern Pikes

[Dingfod]

Ain't it the truth?

[Sweetie]

Ain't it the truth?

It is the truth and I'm the first to say that I ain't pretty just in case that was intended as a slight.

[Dingfod]

Maybe so, but I'll bet there's somebody that thinks you are.

[Sweetie]

Maybe so, but I'll bet there's somebody that thinks you are.
Which would be a delusion then too.

[Dingfod]

Sorry.